-Cosmo-
*Swipe*
*swipe*
“Too ugly. Too ugly. Too short. Too ugly. Short. Short. Ugly. Short. He looks way too nice. Ugh! Why does that pervert Zeus keep popping up! That guy would have sloppy sex with a goldfish!” I complained, as I went through my dating app. “Why’s it so hard to find a decent god!” I yelled before throwing my phone into the white void of my domain.
Dating is so hard for a goddess with so many kids. There aren’t enough hot gods to go around. It makes me want to create a mortal and raise them into godhood. That seemed a bit too unethical though.
“Hmmm… maybe I can get Tsukuyomi to make me a husband. I'm close friends with his ex-wife, so he might help me out.” I said to the void.
Throwing my thoughts into the void was the best therapy I could hope for. It was like throwing out the trash, or deleting cringie old memes off my phone. It was to bad my words couldn’t speak a man into existence. I still think creating my own husband was the best way to go.
Then again, it’s still kind of messed up. Breeding humans to find the perfect mate seems wrong. Even if I had Tsukuyomi do it for me, that would still be bad. Also, I don’t think he would be up for the task.
He’s too uptight. I heard he killed another god just because he didn’t like the way they provided their world with food. That was why he and Ama got divorced. He totally murdered her friend for no reason. Even though he was always so calm and chill whenever I spoke with him. It's always the quiet ones.
Honestly, their divorce was for the best considering Ama and Tsu are siblings. Their dad kind of saw how well they were together and paired them up from birth. Everyone was cool with it since they were soul siblings not blood siblings.
They say Ama’s aura and Tsu’s aura complemented each other perfectly. Like turtles and lesbians united by the act of choking on plastic.
Summoning my phone back into my hand, I swiped a few more times before giving up for the day. My break was almost over anyway. In defeat, I slumped in my chair staring out into the void.
That was when a portal appeared before me. Not many people knew where my domain was, which meant it was one of my admins. Then again I wasn’t expecting a visit. Could it be that annoying twin tailed demon girl again.
I quickly summoned my trident powering it up with a celestial aura. Silver energy swirled around my trident causing it to look like a pristine spinning drill. “The bitch won't catch me off guard this time.” I murmured.
I was about to hurl my weapon, when I saw a familiar boot and cloak come through the portal. With a body as big as that one it would be impossible to mistake him. “Hi Brutus.” I greeted, as my power and weapon shrunk and fizzled out like a dying snail at a french restaurant.
“Hey.” He responded nonchalantly.
“I told you to text me before you show up. You almost died again!” I scolded him.
“Yeah, I can never figure out how to use this thing.” He pulled his phone out. The screen had so many cracks running from one end of the phone to the other.
“Oh, my children! Why don't you have a screen protector or cover!? Are you trying to break it!” I yelled.
He tapped at his phone like a chicken mindlessly pecking at the ground to look for worms. Each tap causing a new crack to form and my anxiety to grow. “Oh, that? Yeah… the guy that sold it to me tried to charge me 50 credits for it, so I said no.”
“Please don't tap on it that hard! Touch it gently!” I yelled.
“Like this?” He gave it another tap. This time the screen cracked in multiple places.
I scratched my head unsure if he was messing with me, or if he was actually serious. Knowing him it was probably both.
I was done. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” I asked holding back tears at the torture of that innocent ether phone.
“I’ve decided to change the lineup. I think I’m going to have Isaac fight Sparky instead.” He said.
“What, why? Don’t do that to poor Isaac.” I said.
“No, it needs to be like that. I’m too strong to bring out the kids talent. The beef those two share will be enough to push the kid to his limits. Besides, even if you have a hunk of iron, it’s still not a weapon. You cant forge a good sword without a strong fire to heat the metal.” Explained the brute.
“What your doing is very dangerous. How do you know Isaac won’t burn up in the process?” I warned.
“Because, I was the one that raised him into the fine cultivator he is now. For nearly a week I managed to stuff all kinds of things into his empty shell. All that’s left is to melt it all together, peel the outer shell and shape the metal into a sharp damascus blade.” Explained Brutus.
Damascus was the act of putting nuts, bolts, and all kinds of random metal into an iron shell. Then melting them all into an ingot. Once you hammered it out and the blade cooled down. You’d end up with a very interesting pattern where the different metals fused together. The nuts and bolts were the lessons Brutus and The lore keeper put into him, while the fire was the trial ahead.
“Isaac is going to hate you.” I responded.
“I know… but I’m his master not his friend. My job is to teach and guide him. I don’t enable. I don’t get in the way. I simply push my disciples into the best they can be.” He said.
“Fine… but you better not throw me under the bus. This was your idea not mine. If you break that little boy, I’ll cut off your balls.” I threatened.
“Yeah sure. I bet you’ll be happy when he’s all teary eyed and curled up in your arms.” He retorted.
“Despite what you think. I don’t like seeing him like that. I prefer to see my children happy and smiling.” I responded.
“Oh, by the way. What do you want to do with the brat?” He asked.
“Yukio? What about her. She’s still doing her own thing. Wasting resources and being stubborn.” I said.
“Not exactly. She’s been training with Isaac and has improved rapidly. She even developed an advanced cultivation technique. Within a few months she’ll ascend and all without your help. Face it. You failed. You should let her change religions already. She clearly doesn’t like you. If you try to force her you’ll be no better than… him.” He said.
I felt frustration grow inside me. That stupid girl. Hadn’t she realized I was only trying to help her. If she keeps this up, I’ll have to start draining more of her quintessence. I won’t let her ascend until she stops being so stubborn.
She could have already left Chikū, if she’d just cooperate. What the hell was so important that she would refuse my help! Refuse my blessing! I’ve given her everything! Why can’t she just love me! At the very least be neutral towards me! She was like a moody ungrateful teen!
“Hey Brutus, do you think you can get your other disciples to show up?” I asked, as an idea bloomed within the vastness of my mind.
“Yeah, but why? Your not gonna do something stupid are you?” He asked suspiciously.
“I think it’s time I showed her what she’s missing out on. If we’re going to do this, then we’ll need a proper arena. Since I assume you got permission for Sparky from the dragon goddess. I’ll call her up and get the other disciples ready. You go fetch Isaac and Yukio.” I commanded.
He stared at me with clear disappointment on his face. Turning around he said, “Whatever. I need to go.”
The brute walked away. Then waved his hand over the portal changing its exit point. A moment later he stepped through leaving me there.
I really hope Isaac will be okay. He might be able to hide his emotions, but he has a fragile heart.
-Aku/Isaac-
Mr. Brutus had just hopped down from the roof. As soon as Zubu spotted him, her aura flared to life.
A moment later it ignited, going from a swirling cloud of pink particles. Into a raging ball of buzzing plasma. The air smelled of copper as she shot forward with explosive energy.
My instincts kicked in, causing me to run and hide behind a sakura tree. Mr. Brutus held a hand up, as Zubu slammed her aura into him. Her plasma seemed way more violent this time around.
It had somehow changed over night as the energy came off as more explosive and hungry. It made me wonder if adding different frequencies of your affinity could change it over time. If that was the case then couldn’t a cultivator completely change their affinity into something else?
I was getting distracted again. This was the perfect opportunity to study Mr. Brutus. Pulling a few strands of Qi I activated Qi sight to view the details of their sudden clash. The world peeled away giving way to the meta data underneath.
The pressure of his aura was focused from his palm holding the violent explosion that was Zubu from erupting. She was almost like a star being held together by the perfect balance of gravity and explosions. Expecting an injury I began to gather chicken soup aspects into my hand.
With his other palm Mr. Brutus spawned a golden brown rock. I wanted to put it in my mouth for some reason only for Mr. Brutus to crush it - along with my hopes - a second later, as his fist closed over the golden nuggie. That was a strange and cruel thing to do to candy. Mr. Brutus thrust his palm forward blasting a cloud of dust at Zubu.
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The powder slowly evaporated within her plasma, but not before hitting her in the chest like a shot gun shell. If I had a name for that attack, I’d call it Diamond Dust, or Rock Salt. Something told me I was the only one that liked to name their attacks.
Zubu's plasma dispersed as she was sent flying on a collision course with the tree I was hiding behind. I quickly created a platform in her path, but instead of making it a flat surface, I gave it the consistency of a pillow, catching her in it’s soft embrace. To do this I had to chain two platform spells together in order to get more dimensions out of the spell. It also increased the constructs durability.
With the cozy, cleansing, healing aspects I’d gathered, I used a concentrated version of my chicken soup aura to take care of any injuries the not-teen had. This would also make her feel a lot better. The golden light shot out from my palm like a flashlight engulfing Zubu in it’s golden radiance.
I then ran out in front of Mr. Brutus and held my arms up like I was trying to scare off a big old grumpy bear. “Don't hurt Zubu you big bully!” I yelled.
Mr. Brutus laughed. “That's new.”
Seeing the giant go from serious to giddy I lowered the pillow of air and ran to Zubu's side. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” I asked worriedly.
She smiled. “Thank you. I'm fine.” She Said, as she patted my head giving me a feeling of coziness.
“Kid, what about me? She attacked me first where’s my heal?” Asked Mr. Brutus a bit hurt.
“Yea, but you're really strong. Fighting back is like a baby being punched by their drunk uncle for crying!” I retorted.
Before I could get my own hit on Mr. Brutus, Zubu hugged me from behind pulling me into the air pillow.
“Zubu wait! I'm trying to defend you!” I complained.
She started giggling. “I know, I'm so happy!” She said before she began to repeatedly nuzzle and kiss my cheek.
“No! Stop it Zubu! I don't like that sort of stuff! My wife will get mad!” I cried.
She suddenly passed and asked, “Did you see enough?”
I stopped struggling for a sec to answer. “Yeah, a little. He isn’t actually made of rock. Mr. Brutus uses his pressure thingy as the ultimate defense.” I said.
“You’re so smart! Yes, you are!” She cooed as she nuzzled me some more while hugging me tightly.
“Come on, let me go! No means no!” I whined.
“Oh, shut up! You like it!” She gas lighted.
“Dam, you two were studying me? That’s cheating. You’re not allowed to work together.” Complained Mr. Brutus.
Since Zubu wouldn’t let me go. I might have to bite her. There was another way. I had no choice, but to undo the air pillow and drop both of us on her butt. The sudden drop cause her to scream, but most importantly release me upon impact.
I tried to quickly crawl away only to be grabbed by my hips and pulled back. “No! Please let me go!” I cried.
“No way bad children like you need to be punished!” She pushed me onto my back and held me down by pressing her left arm down on my shoulder. I squirmed trying to get away to no avail.
“Zubu wait! I know what you're going to do! Please don't do it!” I cried, as I kicked my feet trying to push myself away from her. I couldn’t find any traction as my feet slipped on the slightly damp grass.
She had an evil smile on her face before she pulled my pink top up nearly exposing my nipples. Then dove in and blew a raspberry into my tummy. I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
“No! Haha! Stop it!” I put both hands on my stomach trying to block her, but by then she started to tickle me! I broke out into even more laughter.
Eventually Lorie came out and called everyone in for lunch. Instead of letting me stand back up. Zubu lifted me into the air and threw my upper body over her shoulder while walking towards the dining room.
“Mr. Brutus help!” I threw both arms up hoping he would save me.
“That's what you get for helping the brat.” He said.
“That’s not fair! Can you at least bring Snowball. She’s over there.” I pointed to a tree where Snowball had fallen over due to a sudden case of the snoozies. “She’ll be upset if I leave her behind.” I whined.
“Fine.” He said before staying back to grab my support plushy.
I was eventually put down but that didn’t stop me from complaining. As Lorie served our plates she listened to my issues, while I hugged Snowball for comfort and protection.
Snowball’s dress was still so pretty. It really suited her figure. During sudden bursts of anxiety I found myself fingering the frills of her dress. Being played with so much had put me in a very fussy state. I wanted freedom, not to be constantly suffocated like a puppy surrounded by noisy cruel children.
“So you're upset that Yukio is being nice to you?” She asked.
“That’s not what I said! I just want her to respect my boundaries!” I yelled.
“Last I checked toddlers didn’t get things like boundaries or privacy. I wouldn’t want you to drown in a toilet after all.” Said Zubu.
“I am not a toddler! Tell her something Snowball!” I yelled.
Snowball began to insult Zubu only I couldn’t translate it without getting in trouble. “Wow Snowball! I can’t tell her that!” I said fearfully.
“What did she say!” Yelled Zubu.
“She used the N word a bunch! Like a lot! Like, like more than seven times! Also she said stuff about sleeping over at your moms house and eating her tuna!” I responded as vaguely as possible.
Everyone went silent for a sec. Until Mr. Brutus started laughing. He had such a deep chuckle. I had no choice, so I put Snowball over my lap and started to spank her.
“OW! Stop it! I regret nothing! Its all true!” Yelled Snowball.
“Bad Snowball! We don’t say things like that!” I yelled.
“You’re crazy.” Said Zubu.
I looked around the room frantically for fireballs. There didn’t seem to be any around. “Don’t scare me like that!” I yelled. What if I blew everyone up. Zubu might be annoying, but I didn't want her gone.
“Your fucking insane, piss baby.” Zubu laughed at me only adding to my frustration.
“Girls! Will you two stop fighting before I get the spoon! I don’t care who started it! I want peace and quiet at the table!” Yelled Lorie.
“Yes ma’am.” We both grumbled.
Mr. Brutus couldn’t help but continue to laugh at the situation. It was hard to believe how things ended up. Zubu was such a bully when I first got here. She still is, but now it was more playful.
I came here to grow stronger and ended up with a sister somehow. I’m older so that made me the big sister. I don’t know why she insisted on acting like she was the older sister. Just because I was fun sized didn't mean I was a child.
Today I got to eat some kind of chicken soup. There was chicken in the bowl and it was surrounded by vegetables. The broth was very watery. It had a good amount of oil floating around. I think I ate something like this before at a mexican restaurant. I guess Lorie was trying something different today.
Lunch went on as normal. There were a few words, but nothing significant. It was just another meal with my none blood related family. My grandma. My drunk uncle, My friend, and my annoying little sister… who kept stealing meat off my bowl and depositing more vegetables under the excuse that I needed them if I ever wanted big annoying boob’s like hers.
After lunch we all headed out into the courtyard on Mr. Brutus’s instruction. Even Lorie had joined us. Would I really have to fight him right now? Here on top of the mountain?
What if we broke the mountain? There wasn’t much room for us to go all out. Not with all of Lories trees around. Unless Lorie puts up her practice barrier again, but even then I had a feeling Mr. Brutus could break it accidentally. I could already see him turning the mountain into a pile of rocks.
“Kid, are you ready for your final test!?” Yelled Mr. Brutus. His voice reminded me of my high-school coach. Was it coach Teller?
“Nope. I need at least another 10 years, but that’s not really an option.” I sassed.
“Is this really necessary?” Asked Zubu.
“It is.” Said Lorie to my surprise.
“What, why!? If Isaac needs to fight someone as a final test then let it be me!” Yelled Zubu with the same energy as an over protective older sister… which she was not. Nor had any business being.
She clearly didn’t understand the situation. It couldn’t be her. “That won’t work.” I said.
“You little shit! Do you have any idea what this gorilla will do to you!? Even with a practice barri-“ She was interrupted by Mr. Brutus. “No barriers. Were doing it without safety nets.”
“Are you crazy! Why would you do that!?” She interjected.
I didn’t let him answer as I tugged on Zubu’s kimono like the child I appeared to be. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” I said calmly while smiling up at her.
“No! You don’t get a say! You’re nothing but a piss baby that doesn’t know any better!” She yelled, trying to scare me off. She wanted to bully Aku's child-like personality into obedience. Get her afraid and emotional to put me in a position where I couldn’t argue.
While Aku might have been frightened, my desire to improve and save my city, overpowered hers. I did not waver or back down. “You can’t protect me forever. I’m going to leave here soon and wouldn’t you rather I be prepared than show up on a battle field and die?” I said.
“Just… leave your body behind. We can give you a new one and you can stay here with me. Let that asshole Cosmo handle it.” She answered.
She sounded frantic almost in a panic like way. The logic was none existent. I wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.
Lorie interjected, “That was always an option. It would be child’s play for Cosmo to wave her hand and build you a proper body. You’ve already ascended meaning you don’t need to participate in the trial. You could stay on Chikū and ascend along with Yukio. The two of you could stay together indefinitely if you time it right. All you would need to do is let your original body die.”
“See! You can stay and I’ll make sure we have lots of fun everyday!” Zubu insisted.
Stay here? With my none blood related family. A functioning one that isn’t broken and won’t fall apart like the last? With a sibling that doesn’t hate me, a grandma that makes me delicious foods, and an uncle that’s fun to talk to and hang out with.
“I can’t do that. I love you Zubu, but I love everyone back in the new world too. Would you really be happy seeing me miserable everyday?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t let you! I’d make sure you were always happy!” She cried.
I felt loneliness from her. Digging a little deeper. I could see disciples arriving on this mountain. I saw her making friends. Then losing them after their ascension.
It happened again and again until she became so bitter that she stopped trying to connect with them and took on a more distant roll. She must have been so lonely. I was about to do it to her again. I was going to hurt her… again… but.
“If you could go back and save your family and friends, wouldn’t you?” I asked.
She went wide eyed. Pressing her lips together, she repeated the same words she told me on the night we spent out in the forest. “It doesn’t matter. Your still going to try. If it was me I’d do everything in my power to save them, even if I knew I’d still fail.” It was like she could feel what I was feeling. She wiped her tears away and seemed to calm down.
“Thank you for worrying about me. I know I can drive people up the wall some times.” I said.
She smiled and patted my head. “A little, but it was also a lot of fun. This was the longest week of my life.” With that she turned back to Mr. Brutus. “So what’s the point of this test?” She asked like a mother planning out a play date.
“Its not that hard to understand. I need to push the kid to his limit. No safety puts pressure on him, giving better results.” He responded.
Zubu clenched her fists. I stepped forward and stopped her before she could do anything crazy. “That’s why it can’t be you Zubu. I could never go all out against you. I’d never want to hurt you again. Not like last time. Not without the safety net.” I said.
“Yeah… I get it. hurting you is only fun when it’s a prank.” She said.
I ignored the confession and rolled with it. “Uh… yeah.” I took a half step away from her. “Besides, I really wanna punch him in his perfect beard.” I admitted.
“Alright then! It’s settled!” Said Mr. Brutus as he clapped his hands together creating a swirling blue portal beside the statue of Amaterasu. That flicker, was that Qi? It was so concentrated and dense. I feel like if I tried I might not have enough. Lorie did it with a spell though.
“We have people waiting so let’s get moving.” Said Mr. Brutus.
“Who’s waiting?” Both Zubu and I asked. Me out of anxiety and Zubu out of curiosity.
Lorie stepped up resting her hands on our shoulders. “Master Brutus has other students besides you two. They will be there to watch. It’s a great learning opportunity. You two are Master Brutus’s best disciples after all.”
“Really?” We both asked in surprise.
“Its true. Isaac, you’ve grown so quickly in such a short time. And Yukio, you learned everything on your own. Anyone else in your positions could not hope to have half the results you’ve gotten.” Said Mr. Brutus. I think that was the first time I heard him call Zubu by her name, and he even gave her a compliment.
“But… I’ve been stuck on Chikū for years. I have to be at the very bottom.” Said Zubu.
“Maybe, but everything you've learned was hands on. You might actually be a genius. You can even gather multiple specific types of aspects with only one gate open.” Said Lorie.
“Is that not normal?” I asked.
“On average cultivators in a similar rank and gate can maybe isolate 3 different aspects. You two were even able to play with frequencies.” Said Mr. Brutus.
“Whoa! I’m above average! I’ve never been above average!” I yelled in excitement.
“That’s enough of that. Let’s get going before the kid bleeds out.” Said Mr. Brutus before walking towards the portal. He stepped through it a moment later.
It was finally time. I felt nervous giving Snowball a hug, but Zubu pulled my hand away and held onto it making me feel a little better. The Aku in me wanted her to lift us up and swing us as we walked towards the portal, but I was just happy we were on good terms now.