Chapter 15
Shadow
-Shadow-
In my opinion the name Shadow is the ultimate assassin name. Just think about it! Who is the number one person you trust the most in the world. Your wife, husband. Maybe your kids, or a close friend.
Your so wrong, because it’s your shadow! You trust it so much that you don’t even notice it. You trust your shadow the same way you trust gravity. Well some might trust gravity. I don't. Gravity says I weigh 156 pounds when I know for a fact that I'm more of a 145. Anyway most people just don’t think about their shadow.
It’s always by your side watching you, following you. It’s seen you at your worst and your best. It’s known about you from before you were even born. It’s been hiding for thousands of years within the shadows of your ancestors waiting just for you.
Your Shadow is far smarter than you. It knows everything about you and more. Yet for some reason you never take the time to learn about it. Even if you tried you could never stalk your shadow in the same way that it stalks you.
You’ve only ever glanced at it a few times in your life not knowing the dangers it poses. It knows the horrible things you do and can easily destroy your life with a sentence. Not even that a single word is all it needs.
It's by far the most dangerous friend you’ll ever have. Shadows do not sleep. They do not eat or take brakes. They only ever watch and wait. They calculate and plan meticulously. Waiting for the moment when your at your weakest so that one day they might take your place.
When they do decide to take your place not a single person will know. Not even the people you thought knew the most about you. Because a shadow knows you better than even you know yourself.
That’s where my avatars name comes from. In middle school and high school I was obsessed with my Shadow. It started with a thought then grew into an obsession.
I used to draw people and make their shadows out to be monsters. Like the shadow was their true selves. I Especially loved the part where they expected it to be a normal portrait only to see eldritch abominations. Their reactions were priceless.
Some people loved my drawings. My middle school art teacher told me they were beautiful. While my high school art teacher called them childish and uninspired.
Most found it interesting until they realized all my drawings had the same theme. I also did most of them without permission so I got a lot of angry people asking me to destroy my art.
They usually backed off when I told them I wasn't drawing them I was drawing their shadow. That usually made them uncomfortable. You don't mess with crazy. I didn't care what they thought of me they were all basic.
Their gripe was usually because they didn’t like the way they looked in the picture. A lot of people were to shallow to see the beauty in my art. Well at least that’s how my middle school teacher put it.
Shadow wasn’t just the name of my avatar it was also my online name. That name has served me for a very long time, and I have no desire to get rid of it. I like to think that my online persona is my shadow and the me out in the real world is my actual self.
My guild mates all call me Shadow, but my real name is Holly Whitlock. I don’t think I’ve ever tolled anyone that online.
In my whole life I’ve only ever dated one man. I’ve also only been divorced once and married once. His name’s Dave. He is both a sweetheart and a demon sent to make my life hell. Dave might of gotten replaced by his shadow at some point.
He was always so energetic and driven. It’s what drew me to him. The only thing he was interested in was building his future.
He was really into his career in construction. With his own company he made far more than enough to take care of his family.
There’s something really attractive about a man driven by work. A man with a dream. A burning desire to build something with his own two hands.
I especially love it when he would do work around the house and his muscles would get wet from the sweat. His ass was like… I don't know do kids still say bootylicious or was that never a thing?
I mostly stayed out of Dave’s way and supported him however I could. Sure you might say it’s sexist for a women to be a stay at home wife, but it’s not like I had any dreams or a passion of my own.
I still drew stuff but it was only ever for fun. I never wanted to turn my hobby into a job. Doing that would turn it into work and that would suck.
I was happy and that’s what mattered. It wasn’t cooking and cleaning that made me happy. That was just what needed to be done. What I truly wanted were kids.
I used to babysit all the time. The money was not that grate but I got to look after kids. It was such a fun job. All I had to do was play with them and send them off to bed before their parents got home. It came so naturally to me.
Sure I could have become a teacher but I was a high school drop out. Also I was never good at that sort of thing, especially math. Any math, like algebra, geometry, calculus, or that confusing physics stuff. No thanks.
Now that I think about it teaching little kids didn't require advanced math. It wouldn’t have worked out either way. Those kids wouldn't actually be mine.
The reason I dropped out was….. several reasons. One is because I skipped classes a bunch and spent most of my time smoking pot in a small clearing behind the school.
Another is because I had very few credits to speak of. Then there’s the time my parents found out about my smoking habits and decided to no longer support me financially.
You could say that’s child abandonment since I was only sixteen. I didn’t feel like reporting anything or seeking help. Foster care is an absolute nightmare.
I didn’t live with them at the time. The school I was going to was far from home so it only made sense for them to let me get an apartment with some roommates. It was one of those fancy schools you have to pay to go to. All my roommates smoked pot. That’s actually where I got into it.
When I had to get a job my weed consumption dropped dramatically. When I quit my job due to a mandatory drug test I quit smoking entirely.
Failing a drug test would make it hard to get hired again, so quitting before they could test me was the best option. Learned that from my old bestie Alisa. That’s how she lost her job.
I was to paranoid to try synthetic pee. I also wasn’t sure if a detoxification kit would work. Those things could sometimes fail and they cleaned you out so well that the doctors could tell if you used one.
I got a job as a secretary of sorts at Dave’s start up. He was twenty-six at the time and I was seventeen. Best part about it was he was so green that I didn’t even get a background check. A lot of our workers were from over the border if you know what I mean.
He did a lot of construction work in his dad’s company and decided to start his own. The company consisted of a handful of workers.
I got to know Dave fairly well and around my twenties we started dating. At first in secret but after about a year we outed ourselves to the rest of the employees. To which they revealed to us that they already knew. Apparently we weren’t as sneaky as we thought.
The company grew and eventually we got married. Those were honestly the happiest days of my life. Our coworkers pitched in for a celebratory barbeque. We had fajitas. I got to say these guys were some serious drinkers. There was so much beer and they just kept buying more.
You know, If I had to pick the happiest day. It would have to be the day my kids were born. I had no idea I could love something so much.
It was like the light of the sun was outshined by these three little bald monkey’s. I would do absolutely anything to keep them safe. I loved then more than my husband.
I grew up in a house of girls. I was not prepared for the amount of energy those three had. Think Master but without a shred of sympathy or empathy.
Dave Jr was the first to be born. He beat his brother Tyler by two minutes. Cody took a whole hour to come out after Tyler. He was also born with a few complications and ended up staying in an incubator for his first month.
It was hard to look after two babies by myself so my sister Tanya helped me out for the first month. That just meant she took care of one baby and I took care of the other. We’d rotate daily.
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The day she left was the day Cody came home and I ended up crying my eyes out trying to keep them all from doing the same. People complain about one baby. That’s nothing. I could take care of one baby in my sleep.
Dave helped when he could. When he wasn’t working he changed dirty diapers and fed baby after baby. He would even take a baby with him into work as long as he was only doing office stuff.
He never complained once. In fact I don't think there was ever a time when he didn't smile. He was so tired but he loved our boys so much. He was such a proud father.
Thinking back he did so much for us. If only things hadn’t gone the way they did. Maybe we wouldn't hate each other now.
I hate him for making me out to be a monster. He hated me, because of my parenting style.
Dave had no right to make me look so bad! I’m a grate mother! He said I bullied my children! I’ve been nothing but kind and sweet to them.
My boys are very sensitive so they cry on a daily basis. The only reason they don't cry in front of their father is because there afraid of him.
Evidence of child abuse he called it. He brought their soccer coach onto the stand so he could tell the judge my behavior around my children.
The coach said I belittled my children in front of their teammates. He said I did it on purpose so they would get bullied and come crying to me. Could you believe that!
Even their teachers came out and told the court about how I wormed my way into their classrooms just to embarrass them. Like what the heck right! Parents are supposed to embarrass their kids! That's totally normal!
My poor little ones are always being bullied and they always come straight to their mommy because they know I'm the only one that will keep them safe.
The court doesn’t understand that. That's why they gave Dave primary custody. Meanwhile I’m only allowed to see them on the weekends.
Even then he brings them over so late and picks them up so early. He says it’s because he lives so far. it takes him three hours to drive to my house and back.
I didn’t have a choice. My new job forced me to move one town over. It's not fair! Children should be with their mothers! Dave is going to ruin them! He hasn’t spent as much time with them as I have! He doesn’t know them like I do!
Why just last week Cody was attacked by an older boy at the park, and what did he do. Instead of crying like a normal human being he shrugged it off and kept playing.
That's so unhealthy! He should of clung to me! I could of made it better! Now my son is suffering alone. All because their father is teaching them to be strong.
What happens when they finally break? No, I won't let that happen. When I get back I’ll help break them down that way I can help them heal.
Otherwise if I let that pain build up they’ll end up like Master. Poor Master. Her parents failed her, but that's okay. I can take all that pain away.
Now she has another chance to be fixed. I just have to keep chipping away at her armor until she finally breaks down. Then I’ll help her rebuild herself.
I’ll show Dave that my parenting methods are the correct way of raising kids. Not that macho stuff he keeps spewing out.
It’s been at least five minutes since Master locked herself in her room. I’m a bit worried.
Luca was here with me. Master wasn’t answering me. She hasn't said a word since she went in there. I gave the door another knock.
Desperate times. “Master! Open the door. If you don’t open up I’ll make you eat a whole plate of carrots.” No answer. I was sure that would get a reaction. Master hates carrots and will go to grate lengths to avoid them.
Now I’m not saying Master was suicidal but I was starting to think she might of done something.
Luca turned to me. “You don't think…. Chief might… you know…. Do you think she’s okay?” She was a bit anxious. Her weight shifted from one leg to the other.
If even detective Luca was thinking the same. Then we had to do something. “Stand back.”
Luca moved a whole five feet away from me. Before I did anything I called out to Master one more time. “Master! I’m gonna kick the door down! Please get away from it!” there was no answer. It couldn’t be helped. I took a step back then kicked the door right next to the nob.
I heard and felt it crack. I gave my next kick a little more power and the door flung open. Wood splinters went flying. Who cared about the door. It can be fixed.
What I saw was a huge mess. There was underwear all over the floor. The room was so mismatched. Master must really hate symmetry. This room was way to ugly to be accidental. I absolutely hated it.
Right now that wasn’t important. At the center of the room was Master. It looked like she’d fallen over. I panicked.
Rushing over I checked to see if she was okay. She was fine just unconscious. Her breathing was slow. Almost like she was just sleeping.
Luca examined the room. “looks like Master slipped on some underwear and hit her head. We should give her a potion just in case.”
How do I feed a potion to a sleeping person without them drowning? Wouldn't an IV drip be better? Maybe like a butt chug? Nah that’s an awful thing to do to Master. I also don’t have a funnel.
I wonder if I can get that apothecary place to make me a potion but put it in a suppository. Yeah…. That could work. For now let me just make sure she's okay.
I gave Master’s head an inspection. There was no bump so that was good. No blood to speak of either. It was almost like Master ran around a bunch. Tired herself out. Then fell asleep on the floor. Reminds me of my boys.
I picked Master up. She was so small and petite. I was afraid of hurting her. I wish I had a little girl. That would be nice. That’s what I wanted originally but with three boys I don’t think I’ll be having any more kids any time soon. Not to mention I kind of need a man for that.
Simply finding a sperm donor wouldn’t do. I wanted a traditional family not a burden. Raising kids by yourself can be done but it’s to big a task for my liking. What happens if I have triplets again. I’m not taking the chance.
I leaned Master against my chest holding her up by her bottom. I also made sure her dress was folded under her to prevent any flashing.
Master had actually flashed quite a few people now. I never told her anything because I was sure she might implode if she found out.
I figured she’d get better at skirts eventually but it hasn’t happened. No one really cared since she was just a kid but still. Some lessons might be in order.
Master weighed the equivalent of a bag of flower. It was like carrying a toddler. She made such cute and soft breathing noises. I don’t know what it is about Master but she always left me with the urge to hug and cuddle her.
I read somewhere that heart beets are very soothing to children. Not that Master was a child but…. I mean her ear was on my chest so maybe it would help her have a nice dream. One can only hope.
Luca was staring at Master’s bed. The poor kid had gone pale. “This bed needs to be thrown out and burned.” She had a point. I put my free hand on her shoulder and lead her attention away from the bed.
It didn’t look like Master was gonna do any redecorating. I guess it would be my job to fix this place up. Just like my boys. That was okay though.
“I think I’ll take her to my room for now. We can talk with her once she’s feeling better.” I headed towards the door only to see Boner there. He startled me a little. I almost dropped Master.
He didn't notice the bed which was a good thing. Right now wasn’t the time for him to freak out. Last thing we wanted was for our new hires to think we're some kind of murder cult.
“Is everything alright? Just what the hell happened?” He wasn’t actually concerned. In fact he looked defensive. Like he was ready to fend off an attack. He seemed to have followed us with caution in mind.
Why was he here now? He was late. “Everything is fine. Master had another…. Episode.” Now he was curious, so was Luca. It’s not like they didn’t know about it. Well I guess they only knew about the one in the lounge. Should of picked my words better.
It’s better I tell them instead of them speculating. I don't need awful rumors to be passed around about Master.
Masters past needed to stay secret. At the very least they should know about the nature of the episodes. I sighed. “Alright, just don’t tell Master I told you anything.” I looked to them both. They nodded.
“last night when I went to the restroom I found Master crying in the hallway in front of her room. She was acting strange. Like a kid but….. different.” I didn't know how else to explain it.
“Different how?” said Luca. She was ready to prod and poke me. I had a feeling she might not respect boundaries but that was okay. She didn’t need to know the details just the bottom line.
I paused for a bit not sure how to answer that. “Like…. he wasn’t all there. Usually he’ll act like a child but his words will have a hidden meaning to them. Like someone faking stupidity.” Luca and boner looked at me strangely. Should I have worded it differently?
I continued. “For as far as I could tell Master was an actual kid last night. She didn't fight me on anything. She trusted me and did everything I told her. It was strange, I could tell she was hurting. My mother instincts kicked in. You know when you’re a parent and you see a kid crying you just have to help.” I hope I didn’t give anything away.
“It’s chief we’re talking about maybe she was just pretending to be a kid like usual.” I could see what Luca was saying but it wasn't that.
“No, even when Master acts like a kid she still has some semblance of her adult self. This was just a scared little girl crying about monsters. Like she had a bad dream. In the morning it was like master didn't remember it. To me it almost felt like her personality was cut in half.” When it did happen I didn’t feel like teasing her. I just wanted to help.
“So what are you saying Isaac has multiple personalities?” Boner was skeptical. He eyed Master like she was going to attack him. If Master wanted him dead he'd be dead. There was no need for so much hostility. Then again master almost nuked half the castle so…. No Master wouldn’t do it. There had to be a reason for all this.
“It’s actually called DID or dissociative identity disorder. It usually happens when someone has a traumatic child hood. It’s a way of coping with trauma. One of the personalities breaks off and takes on the burden of the trauma, while the other continues to live their life burden free. I would say its possible, but this doesn’t feel like DID. Chief is a mess weather he has another persona or not.” Luca was a smart girl.
It was a bit over my head but what I understood was Master was suffering from something else. As to what that might be we have no idea.
Boner scratched his head. “I’m no psychiatrist. I got no clue what might be wrong with that not-child. All I know is he is dangerous.” He wasn’t wrong, and he had a right to be angry. I’d be mad to if someone almost killed all my friends. Well, Master almost did do that. I shook my head.
Okay think it through. Master was about to kill everyone. Me included. That's a fact but…. “While that might be true you didn’t see the look of terror on her face when it happened. At the time I wasn’t scared about the fire balls. I was worried about Master. I don't know what she saw…. But it had to have been something awful for her to do that.”
I held Master close. If Boner tries anything I’ll cut him down! I don't care he is nothing to me! I wanted to hurt these guys from the start but Master was insistent on having them work for us! In the end I followed Masters lead. It might have been a mistake.
Luca put her hand on my shoulder. “Whoa there. Let's not start cutting throats just yet. Your saying Chief hallucinated something?”
I nodded. “I guess? I mean you should of seen her face. I’ve never seen anyone look that scared.” It was like that in the hallway to. Only there wasn't any fire balls. How did Master manage to make so many? I know Snowball let's her cast two of the same spell at once but I don't think it let's her cast that many.
So…. what happened then? The point when Master started seeing things. That seemed to have nothing to do with that DID thing. What did Master even see to make her want to nuke everything?
Just then Master said something in her sleep. It was so low that it was impossible for any normal human to make it out. I wasn’t human though. Boner was to low level and his class gave very little experience to perception.
Lucas class was the same and she was a human. She also wasn’t next to Master when she spoke to me.
Master said “Centa” What that meant I had no idea, but maybe it was important.