Chapter 2
The crazy cat lady
The hallway was huge. Not just tall, but wide. Big enough to fit a Toyota tundra on monster truck tires, with enough room left over for a foot long subway sandwich. That could be wrong, maybe more like a foot long with a bite taken out of it.
Wait, why a sandwich? Hmmm….. I’m hungry. Well… whatever, my measurements might be off. Everything felt to big compared to my avatar. I felt like Jack from that old fairytale. The one where he breaks into the giants castle to murder him in his sleep and steal all his valuables. Uh… to feed his drug addiction?
That didn't sound right. Wait, that's dad’s version. Mom said something about golden eggs… or was it a goose? Oh, forget it. The metaphor is stupid. Or is this what they call foreshadowing? Uh… no, that's where you hint towards a future event in a story. Crap! Am I going to be eaten by a giant?!
Hastily I looked around to make sure there wasn't a titan about to pull me into its maw. The coast was clear. I let out a sigh of relief before realizing how stupid I was being.
“Man, I really hate my imagination sometimes."
Living with my overactive brain was a lot like being trapped in a dream. Constantly shifting from pleasant to nightmarish. Sometimes I’d have a conversation with someone only to realize I’d only imagined it.
Other times I’d be convinced there was some kind of demon living in the shadows stocking me. There was also times when I’d do something only to realize later that I hadn’t actually done anything. like turning the stove off or washing the dishes.
It’s gotten me in trouble more than once. It made me wonder if I wasn’t imagining things right now. To be honest this whole situation felt like a fantasy story of some sorts.
Could it all be In my head? If it was the delusion would be broken by now seeing as I’m questioning reality. There was still the small chance this was all a story made up by my imagination. I just hope it was a story of adventure not one of horror.
Nowadays writers tended to put dark spins on these types of stories. I was either gonna become a slave, get framed for a crime, or get stuck in a high level area of death. Where I’d spend years trying to escape while losing my sanity. I wonder if I’ll get a harem?
I hope not. Alice wouldn't be happy about that. Not to mention harems tend to take a lot of energy and time to maintain. I barely have enough energy for one relationship much less a battalion of exotic women. All from varying backgrounds, and transparent over used mental illnesses.
Something like that was probably impossible for someone like me. I'm not much of a ladies man. Especially how I am now…. Oh God! What if I end up with a harem of guys or worse! What if I fall in love with some dude and join his harem! What if I get pregnant!
The image of myself as a pregnant man eclipsed my mind. I was being whisked away by a strapping young lad.
I shook my head vigorously.
“What's wrong with me! Like hell that would happen! Stupid brain!” With concussive force I slammed my head against a wall trying to rid myself of the nervous energy brought on by intrusive thoughts. The wall shook a little and I was disoriented for a moment.
“Oh shit!” I then realized my mistake and covered my mouth remembering I was supposed to be sneaky right now. A quick look around and everything looked clear. I let out a sigh of relief and continued on my adventure.
The walls were adorned with a variety of in-game items. From ancient relics, to high tech weapons, to ghostly ethereal armor. Nothing I could really use seeing as they were all on the aesthetic side of in-game items.
For example one of the swords had Jagged sharp fragments on the pommel of the blade, making it dangerous to maneuver. Another, a giant plasma bazooka was far to heavy.
Something like that needed a stronger race to even carry the dam thing. A human with high strength stats could do it but at the risk of mobility. Even something like the half giant race would have trouble moving around with that thing.
The real issue was it was meant to be one handed. The blaster was very front heavy. Simply just aiming was an issue. Most of this stuff was horribly balanced making it just plain annoying to use if not impossible.
Not just that but I didn’t think any of the armor here would work with my small frame. Normally I could just equip gear and it would magically change size to fit, but now that I wasn’t in-game the items were stuck at there default size.
This was made clear to me when I pulled a set of studded leather armor into my inventory. Then tried to equip it only to get a message saying it was incompatible with my body type.
Lucky for me the gear I had in my inventory was already fitted for my size. When it came to video games the cooler the weapon the more powerful it was. The issue was that the weapons ended up with many dangerous features to the wielder.
Nostalgia came over me as I walked down the hall seeing all the gear my guild had obtained over the years. I was being careful not to make to much noise seeing as I might not be alone.
Put simply I just didn't know how much of this world was like the game. Would I still be seen as a ruler, or was I just a random kid trespassing on royal grounds? There was no way to know without running into someone.
Was anyone else here from our guild? We were known as “The Raiders” In total there was eight of us. Ryhme, Mao, Luca, Clara, eco, Shadow, fish taco, and well me.
We were the rulers of the country known as Entropy. The name was generated by the game, seeing as no one could come up with a halfway decent one. Fish — short for fish taco — had suggested Mctacotopia as a country name. I shut that down immediately.
There was no way I would ever associate myself with such a ridiculous name. The other guild members agreed. There were a few other names, but none as bad as that particular one.
To be fair he may have been drunk at the time. Now one might ask how do eight players run a whole country. Well, in-game we are allowed to hire NPCs to take care of production.
It’s kind of like one of those mobile idle games. Basically you build using gold to buy structures like a farm. Then you hire farmers to run it and sell the crops. Upgrade, and repeat. Not really my type of game so I left it up to Mao.
I was technically a creator which was nice but I was more into farming materials for Mao’s builds. That man loves idle games. As far as I could tell our country has one of the best economies.
There are even country stats showing the population, and a few other things like deaths, crime, morale and income. Our current population was over four-thousand. We had six settlements one being the main city we are currently in known as Serenity, and the other five are small villages and towns.
It didn’t seem like much but most country’s ran a population in the hundreds. We were in the top ten for sure. Within the game world you could only ever have enough space for around a hundred countries, and the amount listed on the country rankings was sixty-seven.
That was due to some countries taking land from others, and destroying there guild cores. Once a country lost it’s guild core that was it. You could only get a new one by taking land from someone.
We tried not to do that since it basically made you a target. Just think, if there was a country next to yours that was amassing power, land, and resources. Not to mention the refugee players were flooding into your own country asking for help. Then wouldn't you want to team up with the other countries and beat the living shit out of them.
The Raiders never attacked first. We only attacked if you attacked. That was the rule. Sadly we’d gone to war with many countries and ended up with tons of extra land.
Eco was once apart of a country called Yippy. Once the raiders took down there guild core he asked to join us and after a talk with him and another much longer talk with my guild mates he was brought into the guild.
I came to a stop. There was a familiar smell wafting through the air. I knew it all to well. This was the smell of eggs and bacon. I was starving. Drool started to form, before I could stop it.
I pulled myself together. For all I knew this was a potential enemy. Perhaps even a trap. I activated stealth, an assassin ability that hid the player from mobs and other players to an extent. My body and clothes turned translucent.
To me I looked like a faded ghost. To others I was invisible. The only thing was, if you looked hard enough. You could see a feint blue shimmer when I moved.
The passage opened up into a dining hall. It was probably one of the biggest rooms I’d ever laid my eyes on.
The walls had the heads, and body parts of dead monsters. They were all boss monster drops. Each one gave the guild stat boosts.
The table was made of hard wood with a glossy coat of varnish. The chairs were large and fancy, adorned with gold and silver. The one at the head of the table was far more extravagant with its beautiful sparkling rubies and diamonds. For a moment I felt greed come over me.
Forget fancy chairs. I could pay thirty years of rent if I pawned that thing, or better yet. I want to build a super gaming PC! I’ll sit on a lawn chair if I have to!
At one end of the room was a fire place. In it was a raging flame pouring heat into the room. It was a bit chilly, so I was thankful.
The kitchen was through the double doors. both of which were wide open. I checked my inventory, and brought out a small holy dagger. Again, I still didn’t know what this world was like, so caution was crucial.
There was a low humming coming from the kitchen. It sounded female in tone. Maybe some kind of siren or witch. I imagined her cooking babies in a large pot.
Shakily I approached the door frame. I made a roll getting right up against one of the open doors — It was just like in the movies — I then peaked through the opening. Only to see a.… cat girl?
She had almond colored skin, and long black hair. Fluffy looking cat ears twitched on her head and a long black tail swished happily behind her.
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She wore a form fitting black ghee. Tight enough to show the outline of her curves, but loose enough to fight comfortably.
I put the knife away breaking stealth, and rushed in hugging her from behind. “Shadow!” My arms didn’t quite reach around her, and my face ended up in her butt, which was less than ideal.
She jumped, and turned her head to look at me. Her tail was stiff like a broom handle. “What! Ah… Master? Master!” she turned all the way around and hugged me. “Aww, your so small.” One of her hands landed on my head giving it a soft pat.
Never in my life had I ever thought a cat would be giving me head pats. This was like that time I tried mushrooms and the cat started talking to me in German. I don't even know German, or own a cat.
I pulled away from her. “I thought you were a monster.” That’s when I felt the tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. I’d been trying so hard to hold myself together, and now that I knew I wasn’t alone a kind of relief washed over me, resulting in emotional salty tears. I really hated being left alone to deal with things.
Shadow’s eyes were as exotic as mine. They glowed a bright gold with black catlike slits down the middle.
I was so enamored with them that I hadn't noticed what the cat girl was doing. “Are you alright?” She put her arms under my armpits. “Here sit." Then lifted me up setting me down on the countertop in the center of the room.
Behind me was the doors along with some cabinets. To my left side was the walk in pantry. To the opposite of the pantry was the walk in fridge. Last but not least was the twelve burner stove just behind my cat-like guild mate, along with all sorts of electric appliances. Such as the microwave, toaster, blender and so on.
Shadow’s action pulled me out of whatever novella I was having, and I managed a response.
“Despite what I look like, I am not a child.” I crossed my arms, my face falling into a pout.
she laughed in my face, hurting my pride even further. Then started pinching my cheeks, and pulling them apart. Her tail swished much more slowly almost as if she was trying to hypnotize me. “I know sweetie your a big girl." her voice was sweet like a loving mother but with a hint of mockery.
“What! Don’t say stuff like that!” waving my arms around I managed to push her away. Her ears drooped for a sec before perking up again. Her face expression going from surprise to full on blooming smile.
I knew she was messing with me but still. Somehow she made me want to cry even more. I’d much rather be fighting a witch boss right now than be treated like a toddler by one of my closest friends.
Except… something had changed in her. I could see it in her face. Once she realized I was actually upset her smile turned into something akin to concern. Where I saw mockery there was now genuine worry.
Her tail was still and her ears weren’t as erect as before. How pathetic did I look for her to look at me like that. I wiped the tears from my face. Something was off. Why was I crying for such mundane reasons? I wonder if it had anything to do with my brain chemistry being that of a kids? That might be something to look into later.
She stroked my head as if to comfort me. “It’s okay Master I’m here now.”
I on the other hand felt the need to yell at her, but… I let it go seeing as being angry would just make me look like I was throwing a tantrum. While my mind was that of an adult male it still needed to be translated through the body of a small child.
As if she hadn’t attacked me she asked. “Would you like something to eat?”
I was still rubbing my sore cheeks. I hadn't noticed how soft and plump my skin was until now. Honestly I was starving but I didn’t want to make her cook for me.
I scrambled whatever dignity I had left and in a cheerful bubbly voice I said “I can help.” My body was filled with regret soon after.
While trying to sound confident I ended up coming off as childish. I should have practiced speaking while in my room.
Maybe if I deepened my voice I'd sound more grown up, but it was to late for that. The damage had already been done. I felt the last of my dignity erode away.
Shadow gave me an are you serious look. “Oh sweetheart. I appreciate the offer but no you can't. You can barely see over the pan. Just sit there, and I'll get everything ready.” She patted my leg as if to comfort me but it did nothing.
I wanted to say something, but she had a point. It seemed that I was more useless than I thought. My character was severely nerfed. At the very least she knew I was willing to help.
I wanted to ask how she came to this world, but thought it was better to wait for when we were at the table. That was probably best.
She turned to attend the food. Her tail went back to happily swishing around. I felt the need to touch it. It looked so soft and fluffy. My right hand reached out and got a hold of it. As expected it was everything I could imagine and more. Not just soft and fluffy, but warm and firm.
It didn’t feel like a cats tail. It was to thick. The cat-like appendage could barely fit in my small hands. I wanted to nuzzle against it.
To bad for me I hadn't noticed shadows skin crawling or the hairs on her body standing on end.
“No!” Shadow quickly spun around slapping me on the left cheek. Her tail jerked away from me. I was in disbelief. Her ears were crestfallen while her tail squirmed anxiously. Her face displayed anger.
What the hell did I just touch. A second after the impact my skin turned red and started to burn, before I knew it my body started crying. Tears were streaming down my face. I sobbed uncontrollably. Regardless of how I actually felt my body seemed to do its own thing.
She's acting like I pulled on her tail plug or something. It doesn’t look like it’s coming from her butt.
Her expression of surprise and anger faded and she became flustered with a hint of concern. “Master, sorry about that. You shouldn’t grab my tail like that. It’s…. It’s very sensitive.” she gave me another head pat to cheer me up but like before I just wasn’t feeling it.
Eventually she realized the food might burn and went back to cooking. I sniffled quietly to myself and eventually calmed myself down.
It didn't take long for the food to be done. I hopped off the counter, and carried my plate out to the dining hall. Shadow followed with her own. She insisted that I take the big chair since I was the guild leader.
That seemed a little silly, besides I looked absolutely ridiculous sitting in such a big chair. She brought out a few books from somewhere in the castle, and had me use them like a booster seat.
I was more interested in seeing what was inside them so I gave them a glance. One book was about history of the world. It sounded like an interesting read. Another talked about herbs and potion crafting. I was never much of a reader but reading information on a new world got me excited.
I was also curious to see just how complex this world was. That was as far as I got before shadow stopped me and told me to eat first. As if in agreement my stomach growled along side her. Which meant I was basically voted out at two to one. I murmured “traitor” getting a strange look from Shadow.
The scrambled eggs were gold and fluffy while the bacon was perfectly crisp. It took me a bit by surprise when I realized I couldn’t stuff my mouth like I used to. The old me would have scarfed it all down in less than a few seconds.
The feeling of fullness was already starting to take effect. Maybe I should slow down before I get a tummy ache. Shadow and I got into conversation, and just like me, she had woken up in her in-game room. I figured as much. I told her my end of the story leaving out the part where I fainted.
“A bed made of foreskin! I forgot about that! Didn't you get it as a drop from killing the lich boss on level 72 Of the main dungeon?”
I nodded along swallowing my food so I could respond. “Yup. It gives a huge boost to Health and focus re-gen. Though it seems it only does it, if I sleep on it for at least four hours.
The system is different now. There didn’t used to be any requirements for furniture before we got sent here.” I felt a shiver run down my spine. The thought of ever having to lay on that ugly bed again made me physically ill.
As if remembering something, Shadow got all excited. “Hey master have you checked the guild tab?” she looked at me expectantly.
It hit me like a truck. How could I have forgotten something so basic! “You’re a genius!” I opened my guild tab. It looked like everyone was online, but scattered. Shadow and I were in serenity the capital of Entropy.
The next closest was Luca our mage. She was in serenity to, but she was at the mage college library. She often spent her time there completing special quests that permanently lowered focus cost, cast time, and cool down time for spells.
Getting everyone together was probably a good way to start finding out how to go home. Eco, our monk was in the main dungeon on level 98. That one would be hard to get to.
Usually the entry point for those levels was at level 95. Once you went in the only way out was death or you had to finish the dungeon.
He was in there by himself to train up the brawler class. Ryhme, our gun slinger was in a small village to the south called Pearlescent. It looked like everyone else was outside our borders. I ran this all by Shadow. She nodded along.
“Does chat work?” Shadow tapped at her own screen. I tried mine.
“looks like we can only talk to Luca and Rhyme. The others are to far away. Guess our phone plan doesn’t support long distance calls. Let’s open a chat room with them.” Shadow nodded and began the process of connecting everyone.
A moment later I received a chat invite. As soon as I accepted I heard the voice of two women. One cheery and the other sounded like it had no accent. Almost like I was talking with a machine.
Luca: Helllllllo everybody! Am I coming in clear? OH EM GEEEEEEEE! We’re like in the game guys! We were totally jamanjied!
Rhyme: Hello. It’s good to know I am not alone.
That was strange the text was written out in chat but I could hear there voices somehow. It’s like there talking into my head or something. My eyes met with Shadow’s. She crossed her eyes then shrugged. A giggle escape my lips and the system typed it out in chat for me.
Aku: tee-hee <3
I sat there in embarrassment. How could the system do this to me. I could hear Luca and shadow laughing on the other end.
Shadow: That’s a cute little giggle master.
Luca: Aww chief! I didn’t know you were actually a girl. How old are you? Do I need to give you the talk?
Rhyme: Captain your voice is rather pleasant.
Aku: ugh! Shut up you guys! It’s not my fault its the system! I swear it’s out to get me.
I felt my cheeks burning and all I wanted to do was run away and hide.
Shadow: Now, now don’t tease the master to much. Last thing I need is a another tantrum.
Luca: so the chief is a kid? I can’t wait to see her. I bet she looks cute. Since I’m nearby let’s meet up at the tavern around noonish, near the south entrance. I’ll be checking out the city till then. See ya losers.
Luca has left the chat.
Aku: hey get back here! Ugh, and you guys call me the child.
Rhyme: Luca is only fourteen. She most likely wishes to explore the new world.
Shadow: let her be. She’s maxed out her mage class I’m sure she’ll be fine.
Rhyme: I’d like to meet up with you all but I am currently In a bit of trouble. It seems our country has invaders. If you can, please join me in Pearlescent.
Rhyme has left the chat
Seeing as everyone had hung up I did the same.
Shadow quickly summarized our situation. “So in other words we'll need to get Luca first then Ryhme. Eco will probably be last since he's stuck in a hell zone, and everyone else is far off into the world. That's grate.” She sunk into her chair sighing. Her ears hanging low. “Master do you have any idea on how to get home? I have three little boys to take care of.” Her face was struck with worry. This time it wasn't directed at me. It was the kind of worry only a parent could feel.
“I know you do but I don't have the answers. You might not need to worry too much though. Why not have a little fun with me. Besides—" Before I could finish she interrupted me.
Her ears and tail shot up as she came back with. “Oh, sure! I bet this is lots of fun for you! What, you think your going on some grand adventure! My kids are at there fathers right now.” midway through her outburst she started crying. “What happens when it comes time for him to drop them off, and mommy isn't there! They’ll think I abandoned them! And you know Dale is just going to use it as ammo in the court room! He has been trying to get sole custody ever since the divorce!” That last bit pulled on my heart.
Adult problems are scary. I just want to play games. I have a wife waiting on me, and the others they all have people waiting on them to. These would all need to be dealt with and I wasn’t qualified.
Right now though, I needed to consul my guild mate who was currently balling her eyes out. I never realized just how instantaneous crying was. The build up was so short. It’s almost like a switch.
I sighed and proceeded in a serious tone. “Look at the in-game clock.” Shadow didn't respond. She continued to wale. It was no good, she wouldn't listen.
I needed to make her understand, so I made my way over, and showed her my own clock. It marked the time as 9:01 AM. She finally noticed. It hadn’t been a minute since we were logged in.
“That’s…. that's not right.” The absurdity brought her out of her funk.
Now that I had her attention, I needed to push on. “How long does it take for a day to pass in-game?” I gave her a moment to get her barring’s straight.
The question brought intelligence back to her features. She cleaned her tears, and came up with an answer. “Ten minutes… I think.” She clung to the conversation to keep herself afloat.
I corrected her. “It’s actually five minutes. What time do you think we're running on? In-game time or home world time.” It came to her slowly.
A bit confused. The gears in her head started to turn. Realization struck like a lightning bolt and her face brightened up. “You mean one day in here is only five minutes out there?!” astonishment erupted from within her as the absurdity of her situation came cascading down upon her.
I smiled and nodded. The idea of time dilation was just pure madness. I had been looking forward to seeing the look of fascination on Shadow’s face when she figured it out.
It was the same way I felt when I first came to the conclusion. “We’ve got time. Let's use it wisely. For now let’s find Luca, and Rhyme. Messages can still get through even if the others are far away so I'll have them start heading here.
As for Eco… we’ll need to go rescue him. He'll just have to wait. It’s not like we're in any condition to go after him right now. We don't even know if re-spawn is an option.” Shadow hugged me again pulling me into her lap in the process. Even her tail wrapped around me like a fifth limb. “Master your amazing!” I felt her lick my cheek.
I panicked. “Hey! I’m married! Let go!“ but she did not let go. In fact she held on like I was a god dam plushy. Was she actually a cat now!? She was actively trying to clean me with her tongue. Starting with my head. “Your so cute!” She started to nuzzle my cheek with hers.
“Why are you like this?! Your wasting time!” I wonder if Alice would forgive me. It wasn’t my fault.
“No way! We have like a million years to log out.” Her cuddles were getting deadlier by the second. I could feel her licking my hair. It was like a mother cat trying to clean their young and she didn’t even realize what she was doing.
“Um…. actually assuming from past interactions with you. Your kids get dropped off around five so…. we got…. About….” I counted the fingers on my hand over and over as Shadow watched in amusement. “One-hundred-eight days?” The cat girl was surprised at how fast I’d done my math.
Her face twisted in confusion as she tried to check my work. Unable to confirm my mathematic skills she took my answer as truth, and pushed me to the floor as she got to her feet. “Well what are we waiting for let’s get going!”
My butt hurt. She dropped me so hard my health had dropped by a single point. Tears threatened to spill. It tuck all I had not to start crying again. I made my way to my feet. “Okay so let’s get some gear. Is any of your gear still usable?”
“Most of it, yes. What about you?”
I deflated. Shadow hadn’t been nerfed at all. I really should have made an adult avatar. I’ll just have to play mage for a while.
“I’m in no shape to take on anything right now. I need to set up some mage gear. My old gear should still be in the guild armory.” This was going to be a long day. Shadow gave me a head pat to make me feel better, but it just annoyed me.
I suppose anger was a better emotion than despair. Anger got things done. We finished up our meal, and Shadow helped me find the armory. I managed to get my hands on my old gear. Along with a few other useful things from previous classes I had.
My mage gear was outdated, but it was also set to my size, and far better than what I was already wearing. I strode out of the castle wearing a Gothic black dress with black stockings and a pair of black boots. Cringe wasn’t strong enough to describe the feeling I was having.
It looked really cute in a goth lolita sort of way but I was going into public. I remember when this gear was the best in the game. Now it was slightly better than mid game gear. I’d almost forgotten the last part of my gear-set.
I opened my inventory and pulled out my so called weapon. It was a stuffed white cat plushy. The thing looked like a toy but it also gave a boost to intelligence and wisdom. Not just that but it lowered the cost of spells and let me cast two spells at the same time.
I looked out into the city. There were all sorts of businesses. From food, to clothes, to magic shops, and even a few tech shops. Tech shops were a rare thing in Entropy.
Our country had medieval affinity meaning it was more magic and swords than guns and tech. There wasn’t much danger here. Well, there was always normal players but now that this wasn't a game I'm sure everyone will work together… right?
The NPCs were very animated. They all seemed very busy. For some reason everything sounded louder than normal. Even the sunlight looked different, brighter even. I noticed colors seemed to really pop.
Maybe I really was high on something. I felt kind of silly standing outside in what was a pointy hat away from being an edgy witch costume. This sucked so hard.
I hugged my stuffed cat for emotional support. Back when I was little I had a similar stuffed buffalo I would carry around. It helped with my anxiety.
I really didn't like going out. Especially when there were so many people. My social anxiety while not as bad as it used to be lingered in the depths of my soul. My nervousness must have showed because Shadow gave me a half hug putting her arm over my shoulder.
“It’s alright master I’m with you. It's not fun running around as a ninja either but if your with me I don't mind. let’s get the band back together!” She held my hand, and strung me along. I was starting to rethink my life choices up to this point.