-Isaac-

You ever wonder why pigs can’t fly? Buffalo’s can fly so why not pigs? Okay so maybe there’s a few hurtles there, like the lack of wings, but if Darwin has taught me anything it’s that stuff can grow wings over time. Why stop at pigs? What about dogs and turtles. Lions, weasels, sharks… actually forget that last one. Not everything should be able to fly. Let's take a strep back.

What about chickens? They have wings, but for some reason they can’t fly. What’s the point in that? Is it because they’re fat? Buffaloes are pretty big, and they can still fly. I bet their wings are huge. Buddy has small wings, but I like to pretend their just folded up, and when they’re open they’re huge.

You know, if you think about it humans can fly too. They might need airplanes to do it but they’re technically flying…. What if I put a chicken on a plane? I bet it would be super happy. I could imagine it looking through the window and flapping its wings in excitement. It’s not quite the same as actually flying yourself. Like the difference between a guy on a motorcycle and a guy on a bicycle.

The motorcycle might be faster and cooler but it’s not the same thing. In which case it would probably be best to build the children some kind of augmentation. It’s got the wings. It just needs a little more thrust. Like a little jetpack or something. You don’t want to go to overboard with it otherwise you’ll end up with little chicken terminators.…… chickenators!

I looked around. What was I doing here again? Oh yeah! I was looking for that soul gate thing. It feels like forever since I came into this cave. I pulled out the compass and surly enough it pointed me deeper into the mountain. At least I think it did. I was so distracted with the whole chickenator thing, that I forgot which way I’d come from. I chuckled. That is such a me thing to do.

I continued to make my way through the crystal passageway. By which I mean the inside was made of pure crystal. The walls and ceiling glowed with different colors as if responding to my presence. I ran my hand along the walls and watched as the light trapped inside followed my fingers.

There was a soft tingling sensation at my fingertips. It was similar to static but less aggressive. The whole thing was strange. I wasn’t sure what this stuff was, but it felt familiar. Not in a, I’ve been here type of way, but more like a, I’ve seen this before. It reminded me of the stuff I use to cast spells, only less power and more… substance. Focus without the focus. More cloudy in nature.

I could still hear the centipede outside making its way into the cave. It was a bit hard to believe. Could it really follow me down here? It was a pretty tight space. That didn’t stop it from trying to force its way in, like the first time Alice let me do butt stuff with her. The cave seemed to shake as the monster thrashed inside its walls.

the fear of it collapsing on top of me was ever present in my mind. I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell I got here. I was playing games not that long ago. Now I was in this horrible place. My body was still small but growing. I think I was the size of a 14-year-old. Around the age I met Alice, just before my growth spurt. I took a sip of the hot tea in my canteen and felt my body warm up.

A small drop of it landed on the ground causing lights to be produced. Like fireflies they rose up and out of the crystal. The air was full of swirling molts of multi-colored light. It was beautiful up until I tried to touch it and felt my skin start to burn. “Ow!” I heard the centipede thrash even harder at the sound of my pain. I looked back towards the noise.

“You leave me alone you big bully!” My voice echoed down the crystal walls. The beast actually responded. “Let meeee help you s-s-sweetie!” Its voice was so disturbing. It almost sounded like it was gargling broken glass in its mouth. I ignored it and went back to admiring the pretty lights. This stuff was like fire only alive and vicious.

How do you go from a solid all the way to a plasma? It skipped like two whole states of matter. Now that I think about it, this isn't uncommon. Ice on Mars turns directly into a gas when it melts, but this is different. Maybe it’s because the crystal is energized by the tea? Kind of like a flammable gas. This was making my brain hurt. I didn't have any stats boosting my intelligence, so using my brain was annoying to work with. It was like downgrading from a PS5 to a PS1.

The light quickly vanished, and the cave went back to its dim glimmering self. It wasn’t as freezing in here as it was outside but walking such a long distance through snow and ice had left me cold down to the bone. Usually when I got like this, I would run my cold hands under Alice’s shirt.

I chuckled at the minor torture I put my wife through. She always hated that, but for me it was revenge for stealing the blanket in the middle of the night. God, I miss my wife. She would absolutely love the new world. If only she was Isekaied too. It would be so epic to explore it with her.

Geez, if Luca could hear me say “epic” she'd call me an old grandpa. I hope I can get back there. Somehow the deeper I went the warmer it became. Originally, I thought the crystal stuff was ice, but really it was more like hard glass.

I squeezed through the ever-closing walls, as they became narrower the deeper, I went. I was starting to get a little closter phobic. If I was still missing an arm, I could easily make my way through.

My wife always tells me if I had no arms or legs, I’d be a better dancer. Jokes on her, she dances even worse than I do! With me all you have to do is feed me a few beers and I can bust all kinds of moves. The worm, the cabbage patch, the robot. I can dance the shit out of the robot!

“Ow!” There were parts of the cave that seemed to scratch me. It was getting harder to move forward, but lucky for me after 20 minutes of struggling the passageway opened up. I finally managed to find the end. Unfortunately, while it was the end, it was also a dead end. No gate in sight.

The only thing here was a hole in the ground. I took a look careful not to fall in. It was dark and I couldn’t see the bottom. If this was the game I would simply jump down and use a feather falling potion to negate the fall damage, but it wasn’t. This was… well, it sure as hell wasn’t real life, and far from any game I’ve ever seen.

What would dad do in this situation. If dad was here, he would tell me nothing is impossible. Dad would have also brought rope with him and his rifle. I could try to walk along the ceiling with my boots, but that seemed like a hard thing to do, and if it goes wrong, I’ll just die anyway. I could die to the monster, but I didn’t want to give it the satisfaction.

I looked back to the way I came. Maybe I can negotiate with the monster. I’ll give it my body on weekends, and I take it the rest of the time. Then again, if it’s willing to torture me all day and night I wonder what it’ll do to everyone else. I’d like to see it try doing that with Shadow. She’d have it over her knee before it could screech. This is dumb. I need to think realistically.

I could reform the canteen into something else. Aku said I’d need to do that in order to open the gate, but if I mess it up then I might not have enough power to break the gate open. That’s how she made my current gear. She’s had way more practice with shaping energy then me. I wasn’t confident in my ability. When I tried to make stuff, the items I created had very rough shapes and fell apart the moment I lost focus.

There was no way this was the end. There had to be a way forward. The sparks of light were dancing around me. Inside the walls it looked like a bunch of pixels moving around. They all seemed to move along the walls and circle around the hole.

I don’t think that stuff had the best of intentions for me. It did nearly burn my fingers off. This whole time it was trying to nibble on me. Yeah, there was no way I was going in there. At least that’s what I thought until I heard the centipede screaming behind me. “Isaac! Isaaaaaac!”

“Yeah, screw it!” I hopped into the hole and was instantaneously surrounded in darkness. The feel of free fall took over as I dove into the abyss. What I wouldn’t give to be a cat right now.

Eventually, I was able to see something. It looked like a giant crystal cavern. The only light was from the crystal and glowing water. The entire thing seemed to light up at my presence as if I had activated motion sensor lights throughout the whole cavern. I held my breath as I fell into the underground lake.

It sure as hell didn’t feel like any water I’ve ever seen. This stuff wasn’t even wet. It was warm and soft. It felt like I was surrounded by warm syrup. Some of it got in my mouth and it was disgusting. Not only did it burn my tongue, but for the brief second that I still had my taste buds. It tasted like rotten milk!

I dragged my way to shore doing my best to not breathe this stuff in. my eyes were in serious pain. I pulled myself onto the crystal and took a breath only to cough. My lungs were on fire!

My eyes felt like crumpled paper. My skin started to harden as if I was becoming crystal. I couldn’t see anything. I pulled out the tea and guzzled a bunch of it down. My eyes started to heal, so did my tong, but my lungs continued to burn as if whatever was in the water had made it inside. I felt heat raging in my chest. I vomited and coughed whatever substance was eating my insides and it burned my throat as multi-colored lights flew up and out of my mouth. It took a minute, but the pain slowly went away. Even the crystal forming around my body had peeled off into tiny shiny flakes.

“What the hell is that stuff! I looked it over. The water was a swirl of colors, just like the crystal around us. This entire place was made of the same stuff. It was almost like the area had no texture. As if it was in the shape of a cave but it hadn’t loaded in the surface images.

This place was so deep down there was no way I was getting out. Well, I did have the wall walking boots, so there is that, but still, to find that hole I went down would be a nightmare. What if I fall again?

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Don’t think about it Isaac. Let’s just focus on the task ahead. I pulled out my compass and saw that it was going crazy. This thing was more lost than I was.

I got to my feet and decided to explore. The first thing I noticed was the glowing lights that seemed to be floating in the air. It was like when I dropped the tea on the ground only these lights were drifting much more slowly.

As I walked the crystal under my feet lit up with different colors. They seemed to almost dance under my feet as if wanting to play with me. They were like excited children running around the waiting room at a clinic.

For a second it almost looked like they wanted to attack me. As soon as I thought that the little lights rose up out of the ground surrounding me in a swirl of color. I got scared and they came at me. I felt my skin burn as they crashed into my body like hot embers. “Shit! Go away! Leave me alone!”

As if listening to me they pulled back and gently orbited around me like radioactive snowflakes. Were they trying to trap me? I tried to walk forward but I was blocked in. “What is going on?” unable to move forward I sat on the ground and thought for a sec. I wish I could go home.

I imagined waking up in my gaming chair and seeing Alice’s face as she came home from work. Thinking about her always made me feel better. I opened my eyes and saw…. The lights had reformed themselves into Alice’s face.

Could it be…? I focused and opened my palm. The lights gathered at the center of my open hand. They didn’t burn. In fact, they felt right at home. This feeling was familiar. Its like magic… right? I didn't have a hot bar, but I know the shape and feel.

Focusing I imagined the magic circle for the fire ball spell. It was the only one I could truly remember. The spell circle was simple, and the artwork had been set as my desktop wallpaper for almost a year now. Surely enough the little lights formed the magic circle only it was slightly off. The shape was right, but it didn’t feel right.

For starters there was a lack of power. The spell circle looked good, but it was also the wrong color. It also didn't feel the way fire magic feels. As soon as I thought that the lights cycled themselves until they were all a dark red. This felt right.

It even felt a little warm, but it was still missing something. Usually there was a soft hum to this thing. It’s like the plumbing was there, but it was lacking water to build the pressure. I had no way of truly knowing, so I couldn’t activate it. The circle seemed to have some power moving through it, but it was more akin to that tiny bit of juice left over in a Capri Sun. There just wasn't enough juice to do anything.

I gave up and the light scattered. “Yeah, right! Magic wasn’t a thing in this world. That’s like trying to get the cops off you by mounting a PS2 controller onto your steering wheel and entering a cheat code from GTA. I still remember the code too. R1, R1, circle, R2, up, down, up, down, up, down.

Did this stuff actually have free will or was it just reacting to my thoughts. Maybe I can use the lights to communicate with my subconscious. This place was part of my mind after all, so maybe that's what I needed to find the gate. Instead of trying the impossible I went for the next best thing.

“Show me the gate… please.” The lights happily danced around me moving back into the ground. They lit a path leading me towards what I assumed was the gate. That’s helpful. I can’t wait till I get out of this place. This entire journey was a nightmare.

I need to hurry with that monster behind me I don't exactly have all day. Why couldn’t Aku give me something cool like the master sword, or a grenade launcher. That would be so cool. I’d honestly take a sick or anything I can use to whack that stupid bug. Like a really, really super ginormous boot! Or like a big can of demon bug spray. I’d settle for a flamethrower really.

Aku said weapons were a bad idea since the centipede was designed to eat through anything and everything. That’s why I lost that sword and my arm along with it. Speaking of eating, I wonder if shadows made lunch yet. I could go for a cheeseburger right about now. There was no actual hunger, but I still got cravings. I pulled the canteen out and took another swig of the warm tea. It was no cheeseburger but being taller made it worth it.

While I did want to go back, I also didn’t want to be short again. Actually, I was still kind of short right now but not as much. Being short was the worst especially after you've known what it’s like to be tall. The only thing worse than that was not being able to pee standing up. Do you know how annoying it is to go from peeing freely to having to secure a toilet every time you want to sprinkle some lemonade! It’s almost as bad as losing the ability to walk. Well maybe not that but similar to it.

It didn't help that Aku had a small bladder. I’ve heard that women had smaller bladders. Combine that with being the size of a literal child and you got yourself a recipe for disaster. There were a few times when it was close and let's not forget the double accidents which were totally not my fault.

I really hated having to ask for help when I can’t reach anything. Or people having higher strength just because they’re bigger than me. If only I could still be a berserker. Maybe then Shadow would respect me. The lights formed a familiar cat girl that looked oddly like an angry Shadow scolding me.

“What’s that Shadow? It’s bed time? Take that!” I pretended to swing a sword. The lights formed a giant great sword cutting Shadow in half. She reformed behind me. “And that! ka-pow!” I spun around delivering a scissor kick to the copycat causing the lights to scatter like shattered glass. The lights even spelled out the word “ka-pow” midair like I was in a comic book.

They reformed into a copy of Shadow that was begging for forgiveness. “Yeah! Bet you didn’t see that coming!” My arms feel to my side as guilt started to settle in. “Uh…. I’m sorry.” By the end my imagination had taken over and I started to feel bad about actively trying to hurt Shadow. I don’t actually want to hurt her. I just don’t want to be bossed around so much. The copycat stood up smiling and ruffled my hair. Wait…. who am I apologizing to!? “Stupid brain!” I bonked myself on the head with both hands wrapped tightly into fists.

I went back to following the lights. Despite my previous corrective bonk to my brain I still managed to day dream. The best part about this world was having a dick again. Though, I haven’t really gotten a chance to abuse it. There hasn’t really been a good time to do it, also it might actually be illegal. Was touching your own 14-year-old penis illegal? As a general rule, if you have to ask then it probably is. Then again, was anything really illegal? I was literally in an entirely different world. Still, I don’t feel comfortable doing weird stuff like that.

I’ve actually been drinking a lot of tea in hopes of needing to pee, but that doesn’t seem like a thing here. Probably because this is all in my head or something. At least I hope that’s the case. I noticed Aku didn’t have a bathroom.

Which leads me to believe she might have been going in bottles. I’ve done that before. Back when my brother and I were scared to go to the bathroom at night. Dad made us share a room. That way he would have a place for the man cave. The only thing he put in there was a cooler, a TV, and a lawn chair. Now that I’m 39 it makes perfect sense. Though I would have gone with a state of the art desktop.

The lights around me seemed to get denser the closer I got to the gate. Up ahead there was an even stronger light. The little lights on the floor started to act more excited as they twirled around like plastic bags in the wind. The compass was still freaking out. I put it away.

“That’s got to be the gate.” Right as I said that the sound of screeching chalkboards sounded above followed by the collapsing of crystal. In fear I ran for the gate. The lights below scattered in all directions as something large fell into the cavern.

I did not dare look back. I already knew what it was and if I could only get to the gate then all of this would be over. Why the hell did I waste so much time! I swear I have the attention span of a 90 year old goldfish. All I had to do was open the gate and this world would reset in a blaze of creation, taking that thing with it.

“Isaaaaaaac!” it screeched after me. I could hear its body land on the crystal cutting up its surface as it pulled its long body forward. I picked up the pace not wanting to get eaten by that thing.

I pulled the canteen out. Aku told me in order to break through the seal I needed to use pure energy, and in order to do that I would need to convert my canteen into a weapon capable of channeling quintessence.

This would only work with the canteen since it was an actual source of power. Like a hole in a tent allowing water to come in from the rain. I focused on the canteen. The item itself was just a cover. Deep down it was really a ball of raging power, continuously catching more and more energy as it poured through.

I felt it. The singularity inside. With a thought the canteen melted in my hand and start to change its shape. Not just its shape but its mass and weight. The centipede screeched just as my newly formed hammer hummed to life. It lunged at me, but I spun around, knocking it upside the head. A pulse of kinetic energy was unleashed causing the crystals around us to convert into more light. With the explosion of power, the centipedes entire body went left from the impact, slamming itself into a crystal pillar.

The hammer in my hands started to fall apart. I had to refocus it to get its shape back and it didn’t quite hold the same design as before. The power in it felt somewhat drained. It had about two more hits before all the power it stored was spent. “What will it take to kill that thing!” The hammer glowed brightly as the power it held came rushing to the surface. It was now or never.

I made a run for the gate. The gate was only a few more feet away. The monster screeched my name as it began to follow me again. If I had to hit it again then there was no way I’d have enough power to break that seal. I could feel it about to snatch me up. I held the hammer above my head ready to strike, but right as I was about to reach the gate it bit down on my hood, yanking me up into the air. “No!” I was so close!

Now falling over the monster I got to watch as its mouth expanded into infinity. Row after row of jagged teeth grew around an abyss. The hammer lost its shape as terror rampaged through my entire body. It was about to swallow me whole. Was this really it? Was I really not going see my wife again? There had to be something I could do! I refuse to get the bad ending! “I refuse!” That's when I remembered something.

The way the crystal reacted to the tea. To the quintessence. “All it needs is power!” I held my hand out towards the demon and focused. All the lights of the cavern rushed over not only helping to slow my fall but forming multiple magic circles over the entire body of the centipede. This whole time they weren’t reacting to me, they were reacting to the quintessence in my body, in the canteen! “You guys want power right! Well take it! multi-fireball!” I drew quintessence from the hammer and fed it into the magic circles.

They only needed a spark. Each one lit up and started pulling power in from every other light in the cavern. Each of the runes lit up one after the other. The magic circles formed their own low yielding fire ball and every fire ball exploded simultaneously. The monster cried out in pain as its body was torn from the rapid explosions. The flames coated its black chitin and the thing started burning alive. “How do you like it!” I was in freefall as the lights used to suspend me in the air had lost the meager power they had and turned to dull crystal.

If I could just not land on my head this will all work out. If the centipede can’t die, then I should be okay. Still landing on my head would probably make opening the gate really hard and I don't exactly have my canteen anymore. Seriously, what I wouldn’t give to be a cat right now. Shadow would probably laugh at me. I had to roll in order to land on my feet. My right leg broke on impact, the broken bone piercing through my leg.

The pain was awful, but I crawled my way to the gate. It’s not like I haven't felt pain before. Looks like mom really was making me better. I had to drag the hammer with me, but I managed to get there. The gate was a beautiful glowing crystal blue. After those fireballs eat through all the quintessence, the gate became the only light in the cave. Aside from the burning centipede that is. There was definitely some serious power on the other side. I got onto one leg and lifted the now greatly reduced hammer. Oh man, I hope this is enough. The hammer glowed humming with power.

” it’s over!” I slammed the hammer down on the seal releasing every last ounce of power into it. The crystal blocking the gate lit up and started to crack disintegrating into iridescent light. Not just the seal, but the entire cavern was now being converted into beautiful molts of light as the energy from the hammer spread out over the cavern. I fell on my side unable to hold myself up anymore.

That’s when I noticed. The seal was still there. It was cracked and a lot of its crystal mass had been converted into light, but not completely. I didn’t have enough power left to break through. “Crap. What am I supposed to do now.” There had to be something I could do.

I thought back to everything I've experienced so far. There had to be something. What were the rules to this world? As far as I could tell it was all about power. Power equals mass. How did Aku gather energy? She did it overtime. “Oh, what about…” if power equals mass, then mass should equal power.

E = MC²

I put my hand down on what remained of the seal and looked within myself. There was a little bit of power there. It was extra, but it still wouldn’t be enough. I needed more. I needed to give it everything and beyond that. Focusing, I poured the energy into the seal and watched it crack as bits of iridescent light rose into the air.

I then started to cannibalize my spirit and fed it all into the seal. My body glowed brightly as a pillar of light escaped my core. “Take it aaaaaalllllllllllllll!” My body started to rapidly shrink. All my years were being poured into the gate. In a matter of seconds, I went from a 14 year old all the way to 9, then 5, and finally 3. Lucky for me the seal finally had enough. Thank God, I was about to start feeding it my memories.

I thought I’d given it a lot of power, but it was nothing compared to the flood of rushing quintessence coming out of the gate. It was absolutely beautiful. It’s almost like the in coming power revived the crystal. As if the entire mountain was starving for energy. Maybe even the entire world.

Before I could forget I did what Aku said and started to absorb the energy into my body. Immediately I grew to my normal adult size and when it felt like I could hold no more something started to change within me. There was so much power. Way more than I could ever need. It was finally over, I was safe. All these years of being tortured and hated by that demon. All the stupid nightmares and the crippling emotions that ran through me. They would all vanish, and I would finally, finally be whole. I felt tears run down my face.

This whole time I’ve lived with the fact that I would always be broken, but now I didn’t have to struggle anymore. I no longer needed to pretend to be other people or hide behind a screen. I could finally just live. The reset will wash over this world and make it whole again. It’ll erase all other entities. All but Aku that is. At least that’s what I thought. The centipede was supposed to vanish upon ascension, but we were wrong.

I watched in horror. There in front of me the centipede stared into my eyes as it also sucked in the massive influx of power. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I used the power I gathered to push forward slamming myself against the monster to try and stop it, but it was too late.

Everything was consumed by the glowing hot white energy. Me, the monster, and the world. It was all so bright right before my vision went dark.