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-Isaac age 12-
How come some people call soccer football? And how come some people call football soccer? I asked dad this once and he said it was because we already had football so the name had to be changed.
I also asked my teacher Ms. Martinez about it and she said soccer is actually called association football but the brits gave it the nickname soccer. It was later adopted by the Americans to differentiate American football from association football. My teacher also said soccer was superior because of how elegant it was and that American football was too barbaric to be called a sport.
Dad said my teacher is full of shit and that soccer was for losers. He then asked me what else my teacher was teaching me and started talking about pulling us all out of school and home schooling us on how to put up drywall. He had recently put a hole through the wall in the living room after his team lost.
I like soccer. It takes skill to control a ball with your legs. For the longest I didn't want to tell dad I liked it, but then I did. He said that was good. I thought he would be disappointed, but he told me never to be afraid to say what I liked even if the other person hated it. After that he told me how stupid the game was then later bought me a soccer ball.
I like soccer, but I can also see how satisfying it would be to tackle people to the ground. That actually sounded cool, but I didn’t have the mass to pull it off myself. If I tried to tackle someone I'd just end up bouncing off.
Whenever there was a strong wind Dad would always tell me to put rocks in my pockets so that the wind wouldn't carry me away. I believed him when I was six and would often have rocks in my pockets out of fear. That stopped when mom washed my clothes and heard them rattling around her brand new washing machine.
Sometimes I’ll watch football with my dad. I like watching people get knocked down like lions hunting gazelle. One time I watched this one guy just zigzag back and forth only for this really big guy to hit him like a truck. After that I couldn’t help but want to see more.
I didn’t really understand the game. Well. Kind of. I just wanted to see people get knocked down. Seeing my dad cheer for his team was also kind of cool and before I knew it I too had a liking for the sport.
A ball flew at me hitting me In the forehead. I fell onto my back as the ball bounced off only to fly over a fence and into someone’s backyard. My first thought was “ow” My second thought was “someone had to go get it.” Which was far more painful than any ball related injury.
Actually taking a baseball to the balls was pretty horrific compared to sneaking into someone’s lawn. Dad says since I’m a helpless little boy that doesn’t know any better; I can basically do whatever I want since I’ll be tried as a minor. Still… I don’t have the guts to try something like that.
I looked to my so called friends. There were four of us. It was Wesley, Pablo, my brother, and me. We were playing soccer in the ally behind our house and now the ball was gone. The same ball dad had gotten me. The one I was responsible for.
“It’s your turn shit head.” Cain said looking at me. Shit head had become my nickname about a week ago, but they only called me that when it was just us.
I looked over to the yard it had gone into and felt my body go stiff. Mss. Robertson no problem. The Rosenstein’s fine, but this house? Hell no. “But guys… that’s where the witch lives.” My body became heavy at the thought of going in there. My legs felt like wet sand bags.
“I knew shit head was too chicken to hang with us. Cain your brothers lame.” Said Wesley.
Cain sighed, “let me go talk to him.” Cain approached me wrapping his arm over my shoulders and guiding me away from the group.
“Isaac if you don’t do this those guy’s are going to think you’re not cool and you won’t get to play with us anymore.” Whispered Cain as he stuck my head into a choke hold. It was kind of painful.
Cain always put me in strange choke holds. He says it’s to motivate me to become stronger. Sometimes he grabs my hands by the wrists and squeezes them really hard. It hurts a lot and one time he even managed to dislocate righty.
I had to go to a doctor after that. He didn’t get in trouble because I told mom I’d fallen down. She believed me like always and Cain was safe, but he got mad at me for lying. Not because I lied, but because he hated the idea of owing me one.
That was ridiculous! I did it because I love my brother and didn’t want to see him get in trouble. I thought telling him that would make him happy, but all it did was piss him even more off, and he twisted my sore wrist for being an idiot.
“But Cain that’s the witches house.” I complained. He didn’t seem to care as he started to actually choke me. I could feel his arm press against my throat putting pressure on my Adams apple.
“Yeah, so!” He swung me side to side like I was a rag doll. “That’ll make you even cooler when you actually bring the ball back! I’ve done it before you'll be fine you big baby.” it was starting to really hurt.
I couldn’t breathe and I was starting to panic. Which was the one thing you weren’t supposed to do in a stressful situations! The more I tried not to panic the more I panicked!
He wasn’t going to let go until I agreed to it. With the last bit of air I croaked out an, “Okay.” He finally released me and I was able to take a breath.
Cain then punched me in the chest causing pain to radiate all over my ribcage. It really hurt! I Was on the verge of tears, but I didn’t want everyone to call me a cry baby, so I held it in.
“You better not get caught, or I’ll get in trouble. Don’t go crying to mom either. Mommas boy.” His words hurt almost as much as his punches, but it was to help me get tougher. At least that’s what Cain told me.
Cain looked back to the guys and said, “He’ll do it!” They cheered and made their way over. Before I knew it they were praising me like I’d won the lottery.
The house had a tall fence all around it and the only way to go inside was to go through the conveniently missing fence post. The entire fence was super old. The sun had baked it over the years and some vine like plants looked like they were holding the whole thing together.
I peeked through the hole only to spot what looked like a garden. My brother had gone in there before and it always made me so nervous. Like he would be swallowed up by the witch.
Everyone knew this place as the witch’s house. It was very old and had been built using gothic architecture. They say that sometimes at night you can hear the witch whistling. If you hear it you should run. The whistle is some kind of hypnotic spell that makes you walk into the house. Everyone that goes in disappears forever.
Cain says there was once this kid that went in there 20 years ago and somehow escaped after 7 years of being trapped inside, but for him time hadn’t moved at all. What if this was like some kind of warm hole into another part of the galaxy or something. Where you go through and it feels like only a minute has passed, but really it’s been years!
That didn’t make any sense though since Cain had gone in there a few times already and he was fine. Maybe he was just messing with me. I’m not sure. One time I thought he was messing with me when he told me my puppy died, but then mom confirmed it.
I looked back to my brother. Both Wesley and Pablo had the biggest grins on their faces. “Go in already!” Cain shoved me into the fence and I was stabbed by some of the loose nails that were jutting out of the wood. Pablo and Wesley laughed. I didn’t cry. Instead I squeezed through the hole.
My fear and anxiety had gone up a notch as soon as I entered. At the time I thought it was my gut telling me this place was cursed, but really it was only my fear and adrenalin giving me heightened senses.
Slowly I made my way through the garden. It was actually a really nice garden. There were all sorts of flowers, vegetables, and even a few fruits. There was a peach tree back here and even some tomatoes. Wait… are those carrots?
“ew!” I cried. I covered my mouth. This is the lair of a wicked witch indeed. Anyone that can spawn carrots deserves death. Death to the witch! I then noticed some small black looking berries. They were rounded and looked yummy. I tried some and was met with pure sweetness. Maybe the witch wasn’t all bad.
This place was so strange. It was like I’d walked into another world. Had I somehow entered another dimension? I’ve read about parallel worlds where things are completely different. Like right now there could be an Isaac in another world that likes to eat his boogers…. I'm I going to have to kill him?
I looked around for a weapon. There was nothing but plants here. Maybe I can poison him with one. I gave the plants a closer inspection. I bet I could kill him with a carrot! I’ll have to sharpen it first, now where can I find a knife?
You know, I’ve never realized how easy it was to grow stuff. “hmmm…” I hummed. Maybe it wasn’t that easy, but seeing that someone could do it themselves without needing a farm, or big equipment was so cool.
The smells coming from the garden were so sweet. I’d almost forgotten I was in a witches hut. There was a few bees around, but I wasn’t scared. As long as they didn’t come too close that is.
That was when I notice a white box sitting on the ground. It had a lot of bees on it. They were going in and out. “Is that a bee hive!? I’ve never seen one! That’s so cool!”
“Yes, I suppose it is… coool.” The voice came from the back door of the house. I turned to see a very old lady. She was like a million years old! This must be the witch. Crap!
“I’m sorry please don’t eat me!” I was so scared I couldn’t even run away. My body was the perfect size to fit in a caldron. Dammit! I should have waited for my growth spurt before coming in here. It’ll be any day now.
I thought she would lunge at me. Maybe use some kind of spell, or summon a demon to chase me down, but instead she laughed. “My goodness! Eat you? I don’t think so. With my teeth I can barely eat meat. Much less children. Besides, a little thing like you. Your nothing but skin and bones. Do your parents not feed you?”
For a witch she seemed kind of human. Where were the warts? What about the pointy hat? Her skin wasn’t green either. She was so…… disappointing. Actually, now that I look at her… this was just someone's grandma! I want my money back this was a total scam! Crap, I felt kind of bad now. I should be polite like mom said.
“My parents feed me fine ma’am. I’m just kind of small.” I fingered my hair as I now realized I had to speak with this lady. I’d rather be eaten by a witch than talk to someone. Priorities.
“I see. You do know you’re trespassing?” Her voice was very croaky; like she had a frog in her throat. I fought back the urge to croak back in her froggie language.
Instead I nodded. “I’m sorry ma’am. I only came to get our ball back. My dad will get mad if I don't.” I stared down at my feet to avoid her gaze.
She pointed at a broken pot. “That one over there.” Next to it was our ball. The flowers inside were still attached to the dirt. Its roots seeming to hold it all together even though it’s home had been destroyed. It's like the dirt hadn’t realized the pot was broken yet.
My heart sank. “Ah! I’m so sorry!” I ran over taking hold of the clump of dirt then made the whole thing sit up right. The blue flower petals were a little bruised.
“Well… you certainly feel sorry don’t you.” She approached from my side. “But are you sorry for hurting my flowers or are you sorry you got caught?”
Even if I told her I felt bad about the flowers she probably wouldn’t believe me. So instead of apologizing and trying to convince her, I worked to correct my mistake. “It doesn’t matter. How do I save them.” I looked up to the old woman. She eyed me curiously. I noticed the corners of her mouth start to curl up.
“Well, isn’t that something. What’s your name? Mine’s Martha.” Croaked the Wrinkly frog lady.
I got a little nervous. “My name’s Isaac, but my friends call me shit head…. Um I mean I’m Isaac.” I hope she didn’t think we were weird. All it takes is a whisper and the entire town will know.
What if everyone starts calling me shit head? That's how people turn into things. They get called one thing and they become that. That's why this Martha lady kind of looks like a witch. I don't want my head to fill up with poop! That’ll smell so bad! Mom wont love me anymore and I’ll have to go live in an orphanage where all the other kids will beat me up because I smell like duky!
“Hello, are you okay?” She looked worried as I fell out of my delusional state. I cleared my throat and said, “sorry. I’m good now.”
She blinked a few times before moving on. “Isaac, so you are a boy. I wasn’t sure. Go grab another pot out of the shed over there.” She pointed to a corner of the property. The aforementioned shed was man made, but not well made. It was mostly comprised of sheet metal and rebar.
The whole thing looked to be welded together and had started to rust in some areas. The metal roof had been covered in a plastic tarp. It looked like there was a few holes there from when the rain rusted through the metal.
There was a few garden tools inside along with some other things like mulch and an old push mower. It wasn’t hard to find the pots. I got one that was about the same size and carried it out.
It wasn’t too heavy. Martha helped me put the clump of roots and dirt into it. We even added some mulch, soil, and water. I pushed it over to the spot it use to be, then carried the remains of the pot over to the trash bin.
“Are the flowers going to be okay now?” I asked worriedly. This was the first time I nearly killed another living thing. Was I a murderer? If I hadn't spaced out then maybe the flowers would be okay. This was at least a misdemeanor. That’s like 2k in fines, and six months! I’m too small to go to jail! I have a little butt! I’ll have to shave my head and join a gang! I don’t wanna get a tattoo! “My body is a temple!!” I yelled.
Martha looked at me strangely. I acted like it never happened and just reiterated my previous question. “Are the flowers going to be okay?”
She stayed quiet for a second before taking the out I had handed her. “They’ll be fine. Plants are very resilient you know.” She had one of those old lady smiles on her face the kind that highlighted her wrinkles.
I finally relaxed. “That’s good. Did you do all this by yourself granny.” Granny felt like a good nickname.
“Granny! Well, I suppose I do look like a grandma.” She sighed. “Yes, I did it all by myself. It takes time to do things at my age, but I have all day, so it keeps me busy.”
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“I see. Do you need anymore help? I can do stuff. Watch!” I did a quick cartwheel to show off how active I was. It left me a little winded, but I was very proud of it. It had taken me an entire week to learn how to do it.
Dad says I should always help old people if they need it. Granny was a nice old lady so I wanted to help her.
“Well, since you’re a nimble little guy there are a few things you could help me with.” She seemed to ponder something as she looked around the yard.
That day I forgot all about my friends and helped granny with her garden, along with some of the house work. She was very grateful for all the help. She said it was her son’s job to help her, but that he hadn’t shown up in over a week. Apparently I did in 3 hours what would have taken her 3 days.
She even had me organize her medicine into some little box thing that had different sections for every day and time of the week. I freaked out at how many pills she had to choke down every day but that's just what happens when you get old.
As a reward for all my hard work she let me try some honey and even gave me a jar of the stuff to take with me. I've never tried honey before and I can confirm it was delicious! It was so sweet and had a flavor similar to nuts. It was the best thing I'd ever tasted.
I wanted to eat the whole thing when I got home, but mom said I was only allowed to have a spoonful.
Cain wanted some too. I was happy to share, but he wanted the whole thing. In the end he got a spoon full and mom hid it somewhere we couldn’t reach. I gave some to Julia too, but she wasn't as impressed.
That summer I came by every day to help granny and keep her company. I even let her meet buddy, but for some reason she couldn't stop laughing. I didn’t really hang out with my brother that much and it seemed to really bother him. When summer vacation ended I would only come by for an hour after school.
It turns out bees don’t sting as much as I thought they would. As long as you were gentle and had a calm heart you should be fine. I did get stung a few times though, but that was okay. It was worth it to collect the honey. It turns out granny liked to use it in her tea.
When she told me she only collected the honey twice a year I felt bad. At first it was because I thought I’d taken all the honey, but it turns out that one hive made over 30 pounds of honey a year. That was a lot of tea.
She also showed me some jars of crystallized honey that had basically turned into candy. It was so good! I wanted to eat the whole thing but had to stop myself.
At one point she showed me this really cool fairy tale book. Only it was different from regular fairy tales, or at least the stories were. They were darker and kind of scary. It was called Grimm’s fairy tales. Granny said they were the original fairy tales before they were watered down for the newer generation. Apparently she use to read them to her son. Now I got to listen to them everyday.
She later read me a book about king Arthur. When I learned about the sword Excalibur, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Granny says that the name Excalibur means to cut steel.
I was so inspired by that story that I would often swing a stick around in my back yard pretending to wield Excalibur. I didn’t dare let Cain see me in fear of being made fun of. I think mom saw me a few times but that was okay. Mom’s a really nice person.
Granny showed me all kinds of books. The wonderful wizard of Oz, Alice’s adventures in wonderland. Of mice and men, and a few others. She had lots of books and I loved all of them.
Like the books on Greek mythology or Norse mythology. She also knew some stories about this guy called the monkey King. Granny knew a lot about old legends. Did you know that there’s this huge snake thing that lives in the ocean. It’s called Jormungandr. Hehe, it’s name sounds funny.
There's also this lady with snake hair that turns people into stone! Oh, and there's this cool guy that fights a giant snake with eight heads. It's crazy how many legends involve snakes.
Mom invited granny over for dinner a few times and she would always praise me and tell everyone how helpful I was. I guess it made me kind of happy to actually be useful to someone, but at the same time I felt like I didn't deserve it. I would even try to play down my involvement, but granny said I was too humble.
My family loved me, but they never needed me. Sometimes it made me feel more like a pet. Something they could adore but never see as a reliable person. Sis liked to joke that I was no longer going to grow and that I would stay little forever.
That actually gave me a strange nightmare where I caught my sister slipping a potion into my food. A potion that would keep me from growing any older. That dream gave me so much anxiety that I rarely ate and when I did I made sure to serve my own plate.
It's like my apatite would vanish the moment my brain fed my anxiety and my anxiety would feed my brain right back. My hunger levels were nonexistent.
During our dinners together Cain kept telling granny about my blunders. Lucky for me she dismissed them and said I was doing my best. He later beat me up for being so smug. It was my own fault for getting cocky. I hadn’t realized how self important and annoying I was being.
The next day Cain didn't let me visit granny he dragged me over to our friends and they took turns making fun of me for helping an old lady. Those guys were a bunch of goofs. This was just how guys were right?
They tore each other down and kept everyone humble. This would only make me stronger. However, It got to be a little too much and I started crying. That’s when they abandoned me and I was finally able to go see granny.
Even though I wiped away my tears and made myself laugh, granny still knew. I told her I had fallen down and I guess she believed me. I didn’t want to go home that day.
Instead I used the old push mower to trim the yard. It took forever and my body was screaming. I kept pushing it as I felt something grow inside me. It was anger, but it wasn't any ordinary anger. Nothing like the fleeting flares of rage that I’d felt before.
It was cold and all encompassing. Like a black tar pit growing in my chest. I didn't know what to do with it so I used it by feeding it all into physical labor. Even though my body hurt I kept pushing that dam mower.
It got dark and I managed to finish. I laid there in the freshly cut grass, it’s smell working it’s way into my nose. That pit in my chest was still there, still festering like sticky exposed meat covered in flies. It was full of anger and frustration. All the things that I once suppressed had gathered in that one spot like a poison.
I didn't want to see granny right now and instead started to cry. That seemed to help with the hole, but not by much. Eventually dad came to get me.
-Isaac-
granny. I haven't thought about her for years. How could I have forgotten. She was in my life for a very short time, but she showed me so many things. The mythology and stories I learned were such a massive influence on my mind. Instead of my imagination creating horrible nightmares to torture me, it instead started to create fun adventures within a living breathing world. To bad it couldn’t last.
I felt the echo grow in power as the pain of that day revealed old wounds that I hadn't seen in a long time. Wounds that had been long forgotten.
-Isaac age 12-
A few weeks passed. I had been ignoring Cain the entire time. He was the least of my worries. Granny got sick. She said it wasn’t that bad, but that she needed to stay in bed for a bit. Mom helped me make her some soup. As I was heading out Cain stopped me in our driveway.
“You going to go feed the witch? You should just let her die already.” He laughed. My brother could sometimes say things as jokes even though they were more hurtful than funny. “That bitch is like 100 years old. You should stop wasting your time. Come on! Let’s go play with the others. I hear Wesley just got his hands on the new Nintendo 64 and a copy of Mario 64.” He said that last part as if he was offering me drugs.
My little brain nearly exploded with excitement. I wanted so bad to go play with them… but… I also knew they wouldn't actually let me play. Video Games was the only real thing I was good at and those guys usually kept the controller away from me.
Besides, I was more worried about granny than getting to see and not play a game I’d later get on my birthday. “Sorry…” I shook my head while hugging the container full of soup. “I can’t right now. I still need to get granny her soup. There’s also a bunch of stuff I need to take care of. Like tending to the garden, and besides, I need to make sure granny is okay.”
My brother’s malicious smile faded away like a psychopaths façade being uncovered. I felt like he was about to do something, so I blurted out, “Mom made the soup!” My eyes closed as I expected him to knock the container down or hit me.
Instead he turned around and said, “Whatever.” He then ran off disappointed. I let out a sigh as I had just dodged a nuke. I hadn’t realized just how stiff my body had become as the meager muscles I had relaxed.
I headed to grannies using my nervous energy to move faster. By the time I got to her front door most of that energy had been expelled into the world.
Granny was grateful for the soup. She ate it slowly on her bed. I wish I could do that. Mom never lets us bring food into our room. Especially not after that half eaten sandwich under Cain’s bed. There were so many roaches. I guess when you’re an adult you can do anything you want.
As a reward she read me a story about this kid named Tom sawyer. He reminded me a little of my brother except this guy was kind of smart. At some point granny got tired, so I let her rest while I took care of everything else.
After organizing and giving the house a sweep I got to tending the plants. Once I was finished I said goodbye to granny and told her I'd bring her some food later. She thanked me and I was on my way.
One day after school I looked for granny, except I couldn’t find her. I asked mom about her and she said granny had been taken to a nursing home where they could take better care of her.
I couldn't believe it. I didn't cry, instead I just said, “Okay.” It hadn't quite hit me then that I was never going to see her again. Her house was later sold by her son and the garden had basically been destroyed.
I managed to get my hands on one of the flower pots and brought it home. It was heavy and my hands started to hurt along the way, but despite the pain and how long it took. I brought them into the back yard.
They weren’t the same blue flowers I saved before, but they were the same type. Granny called them “forget me nots.” Apparently giving them to someone means that you will always remember them. This wasn't the same situation, but these were the flowers that brought granny and me together, so maybe the meaning still stood.
These little guys hadn’t bloomed yet and it wouldn’t be long before they did. Maybe I can find granny and give them to her. I could only hope. Granny said they have another name “Myosotis.” Which means “mouse's ears.”
It’s called that because of the shape of the flower petals. I didn’t know what mouse ears looked like, but now I did. I learned more from granny than I ever did at school. Ms. Martinez should let her teach the class instead.
I took really good care of the flowers. Just like granny showed me. They actually managed to bloom and I cried for her. Sadly I hadn’t found her. The new owners of her house didn’t know anything about her, or how to contact her son.
They gave me the number of the realtor, but they said they couldn’t give me any information. Mom tried to find granny too by calling up a bunch of places, but she said they also wouldn’t tell her anything.
Dad gave it a shot and I thought with his police background he might find her, but a few days went by and he avoided the question. I think mom stopped trying too or maybe she never looked in the first place. They both looked really sad and at one point mom hugged me for a really long time. I think she wanted to say something but couldn't.
Then one day I woke up to water the flowers, but couldn't. I walked out back just in time to watch my brother knock them over, and start to stomp them into the ground. For a moment I couldn't feel anything as the sea of my emotion fell dead silent.
He turned around to face me a disgusting smile on his face. “You were being to girly again, so I got rid of your stupid flowers. Me and the guys have been talking and we think you need a more manly hobby. I won't have any brother of mine embarrass me.” Said Cain.
I was speechless. How could you do that to grannies flowers? The one I’d been growing for her. How was I supposed to promise to remember her if the forget me nots had been destroyed?
That cold dark anger came back. That time I got really mad, but I didn't explode. Instead my body started to walk up to him. Not in a threatening way, but more like the type of walking you'd see in a zombie movie. As if an invisible force was dragging me forward pulling me along like a puppet.
Before I could make it he spoke again, “What are you going to cry? Go cry to mommy you little mommas b-“ He didn't get to finish as I punched him square in the face. The punch was so hard that he fell over nose bleeding. Without even thinking about it my body got on top of him and I punched him again and again until finally Julia stopped me. Cain lost a tooth that day.
That's when I started to cry. I didn't care that I was going to get in trouble, or that Cain would be mad at me. The only thing I cared about was retribution, justice, and vengeance. I didn’t protect him from mom that day. Even dad was pissed at him.
Cain didn’t talk to me much after that. We even had to be separated when for whatever reason he decided to punch me every time he saw me. He kept talking about how he was stronger than me and how he could kick my ass whenever he wanted.
It didn't matter to me. For whatever reason I just didn't care. He could hit me all he wanted and I wouldn't feel anything. That only served to piss him off even more. In the end Dad’s man cave became my room.
Being alone was different. It was quiet and calm. I didn't feel restricted and I could actually relax for once. My ability to talk with people got better, or at least I could do it for longer now. It was strange. I was like a battery that needed to be recharged. My room had become a charging station of sorts.
Despite how much of an asshole he was; I still loved my brother. He wasn’t a bad person he was just jealous and for that I could forgive him.. Honestly, I don’t know what I was going to do with those flowers. Granny was nowhere to be seen. They would have died eventually. It just really pissed me off to see them go like that. The disrespect was too great and in the end it meant nothing.
Granny was still gone.
-Isaac-
I wanted to stomp Cain into the ground. I wanted him to feel what they felt, but that was then. The anger had gone back to where it had been and it took with it the sadness and everything else. I wasn’t happy or sad. I just felt empty.
I guess there was one strong desire I had and that was to be able to visit granny, but I was never given any contact info. She never told me she was leaving and the son never showed his face.
That frog lady was most likely dead, but for whatever reason no one would tell me. I wasn’t stupid. I could see it on there faces and I never got to say goodbye because they thought I couldn’t handle the funeral. They thought I was too weak.
Well I remembered her now. I might have forgotten over the years, but I remember her now. I'm going to find her grave some day and give her those flowers, but first I need to get out of these stupid flashbacks. I need to take back my life.
I stood there in that fake ass room as quintessence began to poor in from all sides. I closed my eyes as it washed over me in a blaze of pure white. Instead of letting it blow me away to the next memory I held my ground and pushed forward. A moment later and I found myself in a black cave.
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It was dark, cold, and wet. My feet were immersed in a black liquid, similar to ink or oil. These clothes… they were the same gear Aku had given me, but made to fit someone larger. My body had changed. Thanks to the influx of quintessence, it had grown to its adult stage. This wasn't a memory like before. I was back in that rabbit hole.
Back in that world within my mind and soul, but this place wasn't somewhere I recognized. It was large and spacious like an underground cavern, but not the same one I was in before. This place was probably deeper. Unlike the glowing crystal from the last cavern. This one was void of light.
The only light here was the faint glow my body gave from all the quintessence I had gathered. There was so much of it inside me. I felt like I was about to explode. Does that mean it worked? I wasn’t sure. There was still something happening. I could feel my body undergoing some kind of change, but only on the inside.
The last thing I remember before the flashbacks. I was fighting that thing and then all those childhood memories came rushing in. I didn't get to finish that thought as I heard a cough from behind me.
Startled I turned around. Before me now stood a girl with long black hair, wearing a black dress. That girl wasn’t there before. She seemed familiar somehow, but I wasn't sure why. Her red eyes landed on me. They glowed like that of a beast hiding in the darkness of night.
A flash of something, old remnants of scattered memory buzzed to life, but there wasn’t enough fragments to create a fully fledged thought. Instead I got a static like picture and the distorted sound of a giggling girl followed by a horrific scream cut off at its crescendo. Clawing, crying, begging, but for what?
It was brief like a whisper in the wind leaving me with a sense of dread and mild curiosity. The girl glared at me. She looked like she wanted to strangle me. I took a step back out of a sense of self preservation. For whatever reason she laughed as if she had played a prank on me.
“To think someone like you was in charge this whole time. You really are filth.” She said that last word with so much hatred and venom. Whoever this girl was for whatever reason she really didn’t like me.
“Who are you? Are you the centipede?” I asked taking a step closer to her. That one step seemed to put her on guard, so I stopped there not wanting to provoke a fight. I don't know why, but I knew this girl had some serious power. Maybe she had guzzled down a bunch of it the same way I did.
She sighed then sat on the wet inky floor. “I'm no one.” The girl sounded so sad all of a sudden. Not sad but defeated. Like she couldn't muster up the strength to actually care about anything.
Something about this felt wrong. This girl didn't feel evil. She just looked depressed. Like a high school kid that listens to too much Linkin Park. Were there more alters I didn't know about? If there were Aku never mentioned them. That seemed kind of messed up considering the reset was supposed to erase all other entities.
Now wasn’t the time. I approached the girl who seemed to be making silly faces as she stared at her reflection in the dark puddle. My movements created ripples over the surface distorting her reflection. She frowned then glared at me again.
“Go away!” She yelled, lifting a hand and causing a rock to fly out of the dirty water. It struck me in the head causing me to grunt in pain. I ignored it.
“I just want to help.” I pleaded.
“No! Fuck you! You've done enough.” She cried.
“I haven't done anything!” I retorted, but this only served to make her even more angry.
“Shut the hell up! It's all your fault! You traitor! You monster! You did this to me! You took away any change of happiness I ever had! You locked me in here! Don't you dare try to be my friend! Not after what you did! I trusted you and you… you…” She broke into tears. “Please just go away……… Stop hurting me.” She started whaling like a child waking from a nightmare.
“Hey, its alright. I can help just trust me.” I took another step towards her, but she didn't like that.
“leave me alone! She waved a hand and I felt my body get thrown into the air. Dark tendrils reached out from the black water wrapping themselves around me and dragging me down into the depths.
“Why don't you relearn your mistakes! Maybe you'll finally remember this time!” She cried as I sunk into the inky black darkness.
Black sludge was seeping into my lungs…. I felt pain and sadness. Self hatred and so much anger. The black sludge was burning my very soul. Eating away at the innocence that made up its fluffy membrane.
Memories flashed through my head. Some were mine, others not so much. My memories seemed to come to the surface as other memories raced In to combine with them. It was almost as if my entire soul had been missing hundreds of puzzle pieces and were now reunited. Just like that a lot of things started to make sense.
You know what…. I think my brother really did hate me, and my sister might have been more selfish than I remember her to be. This was all wrong! That’s not how it happened!
It was….. oh….. I see now.
So that’s why.
The echo grew once more as old emotions seemed to reawaken deep within me.
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