Always
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It was early morning on the first day of the New Year. Xander and Faith were in his cozy kitchen; the aroma of buttermilk pancakes filling the air. The sun was just over the horizon, casting a warm glow into the room. Faith sat at the table, playing Xander’s harmonica while he cooked pancakes for breakfast, flipping them over with a practiced hand. After an intense night of lovemaking, the couple were starving, their ravenous appetites kept them up. But, despite his hunger, Xander wanted to talk.
As the fluffy batter sizzled on the pan, his thoughts were racing. He couldn’t shake the feeling of doom creeping up on him, and it was due to Faith’s words. ‘Fine! Let’s be together: You, me, and Buffy.’ Xander was certain he would lose something important if he didn’t act, but he was also scared of losing something if he did act.
The frustrated boy turned to Faith, who was casually lost in learning the harmonica, and admitted, “I don’t understand.”
Faith knew exactly what he was referring to, and casually replied, “You’re the one who said you want me and Buffy.”
Xander felt a pang of confusing guilt in his chest. He had said those words, but he couldn’t understand her response. It wasn’t just about him and what he wanted. Her needs were equally as important. If he chose Faith over Buffy, why would Faith choose him and Buffy? On top of such an unknown and frightening twist, it made no sense. Xander turned back to the stove, flipping the pancakes a bit too aggressively. He knew he needed to figure things out, to make a decision that would be fair to everyone involved. He simply didn’t know what that decision should be.
“I… I mean, yeah, I said that,” Xander nervously admitted. “But… I didn’t mean a…” He turned to her and genuinely asked, “Is it three-ple? Throuple? Whatever! I didn’t mean a relationship consisting of three people.”
Setting down the harmonica, Faith gave him a sympathetic look and said, “Look, you love her and I sort of have this ever-expanding crush on her.” Xander’s eyebrows raised in surprise to hear that as she finished, “So it all works out.”
He quickly asserted, “First, no, it all does not work out. And second, really?”
Faith took a deep breath and hesitantly admitted, “Yeeaaaah.” Xander got the impression that her feelings for Buffy might be more than a crush as she continued, “She’s been making my lady parts tingle for a while now, and I’ve caught myself staring a few times. Why do you think I don’t mind staying at her place?”
Xander was dumbfounded, calling out, “Really?!” Faith pointed to the stovetop and he cursed, “Shit!” quickly flipping a burning pancake, but it was already overcooked.
Faith was amused but also pensive as she continued, “It’s not full-blown love like you, Stud, but I have regular fantasies about her,” she confessed, almost breathlessly. “Especially after I accidentally walked in on her when she was getting out of the shower. Fuck me sideways, that girl’s fit!”
Nodding in understanding, Xander couldn’t help but agree, saying, “She really is.” Though, recalling that he hadn’t had a physical relationship with her in this loop, he quickly added, “Not that I’ve seen her naked or anything.”
Faith looked curious and skeptical as she asked, “Really? Not even your future self?”
“I don’t want to talk about that idiot,” Xander glumly returned, aggressively pouring a large amount of batter on the pan.
“Shit, now I really want to know,” she said with a smirk, but a look from him had her immediately surrendering. She rolled her eyes as she replied, “Fine. So, if anyone asks, we’re not dating.”
Xander brought two steaming plates of pancakes to the table and placed one in front of her. He grabbed the Tupperware of strawberries, the whipped cream, and a bottle of maple syrup from the fridge and returned to the table. “Faith, I really didn’t mean for you to take what I said like that,” he reiterated, setting the items down on the table. “I was just trying to be honest.”
Faith eyed her fluffy cakes eagerly before grabbing the bottle of syrup. “I know, but it’s still a good idea,” she replied, pouring a generous helping of syrup on her stack. “Truth be told, being in a relationship—like a serious one—with emotional expectations, and rules, and obligations… it doesn’t sit right with me. It actually scares the livin’ shit out of me, if I’m being honest. I’ve never done that, let alone seen anyone do it right. The last thing I ever want to do is blow up what we got.”
Xander moved his chair closer to her, locking eyes with hers as he exclaimed, “I want to be with you, Faith! You! As long as you’re you—the foul-mouth, leather-wearing badass Slayer—it’s impossible for you to mess this up.”
Faith fidgeted with her fork nervously before confessing, “That’s nice and all, but I still feel it.” She stuffed a large bite of syrup-covered pancakes in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully for several moments. Xander waited patiently, until she finally explained, “Every time I think about completely opening up… and trusting that person to not fuck me over…” To Xander, it appeared like she couldn’t quite catch her breath as she added with some difficulty, “Someone who also relies on me, like, emotionally… I get this feeling in my chest, like some big sumo-wrestling motherfucker is sitting on me, and I can’t shake it.”
Recognizing the early signs of a panic attack, Xander took her hand and used a gentler tone as he acquiesced, “Okay. Hey, it’s okay. That’s fine. You don’t have to say more. How about this: let’s put a pin in it. Buffy’s with Angel, right? So, let’s you and me date for as long as they’re together.”
“Do they break up?” she asked, raising her eyebrows hopefully.
Xander snorted at her anticipation before answering, “Nothing’s set in stone, but at some point, I assume so. In that timeline, Angel’s supposed to move to LA, and she doesn’t go with him.”
“And after they break up, we can bring Buffy in?” Faith asked, a buoyant grin spreading across her face.
“How about we cross that bridge when we get there?” Xander replied, smiling back at her.
They returned to their breakfast and she answered, “Okay, but I’m prepping her.”
Quickly growing nervous, he set down the bite he was about to take and turned to her, asking, “What does that mean?”
“Nothing crazy; just mentioning stuff to her,” Faith answered with a sly smile.
“Stuff like what?” he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.
“Don’t know yet,” she replied nonchalantly. “I have to be in the moment, but I just want to give her the impression that it’s okay if she wants to hug you, kiss you, or anything else with you. And you better not pussy out with some pompous moral superiority highroad bullshit either. I may lean toward the D, but I like my V too.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Xander remarked, “This is the most confusing start to a relationship I’ve ever been in. And I’ve dated Cordelia.”
“It’s basically my first relationship, so I guarantee you’re not as confused as I am,” she replied with a smile.
While they ate, he attempted to simplify the concept of a healthy romantic relationship, saying, “Typically in a relationship, the sole boyfriend and the sole girlfriend try to get to know each other, not just individually, but as a couple.”
“But I already know you.” Faith pointed out, as if that were obvious.
“Yeah, as a friend. Think more romantically,” Xander said, trying to get his point across.
“What’s the difference?” she asked whilst chewing, genuinely curious.
Xander paused for a moment, thinking of the best way to explain it. Despite a century of experience, he had only ever dated Cordelia; and most of the time, they’d hid their relationship. The one time he’d dated Buffy, he had always doubted her love for him because he couldn’t be sure if she was dating him just to save his life or because her feelings were genuine. So, it wasn’t as if Xander had a lot of experience being in an open and healthy relationship.
“...I’m not entirely sure,” he admitted. With a lazy shrug, he explained, “It’s technically everything we already do except we hold hands, go on dates, and kiss in public. That way, people know we’re exclusive.”
“Why would I care about that?” she asked with a quirked brow. “I know the only other person you hook up with is Cordelia.”
“I guess,” he hesitantly agreed. Xander took a moment to try and explain the concept of a committed relationship better. “…Hmm, if I were to break it down in a way you’d understand… I guess it’s like missing me and wanting to be with me, even when you’re not horny.”
The confusion on her face vanished, and her eyes widened. Faith nodded as she replied, “Oh! Now that I understand.” Xander snorted as she elaborated, “So, like, taking care of your morning wood because I want to, and not expecting anything in return?”
“Yeah, but we can have that feeling even without the sex,” he answered with a nod. “Deep down, dating is kinda like a promise that I’ll think about you when I make decisions throughout the day, and you think about me. If I’m out buying ice cream, I’d wonder if you want some too. If I’m looking at a college to go to, I’d think about how that decision might make you feel. If I see a pretty girl, I don’t flirt with her, because you’re my girl, and I know you won’t like that.”
Faith listened intently as Xander spoke, slowly beginning to grasp the concept of a romantic relationship. Though still unsure, she hesitantly replied, “…Okay. Okay, I’ll try. But… be patient with me.”
“You got it,” Xander said, giving her a reassuring smile.
——
Xander found himself swept up in the magic of his new official relationship with Faith. The way she smiled or laughed at his jokes, the way she moved in bed or combat, her no-nonsense attitude—everything about the beautiful Bostonian was intoxicating. He savored every minute they spent together, exploring all the fun activities that Sunnydale had to offer. Xander even heard of an indoor axe-throwing range from some of the guys at Wild Dinks, and couldn’t wait to try it out with her.
But, despite their wonderful time together, there were moments when Faith needed some space; not physically, but emotionally. It was in those moments that Xander’s heart ached the most, his mind filled with doubt. Sex was easier for Faith than holding hands. Raunchy jokes or cursing were also easier than saying “I Love You” or other words of affirmation. Xander understood why it made her uneasy, so he tried not to let it bother him. He simply remained patient, hoping that his unwavering love and support would help her open up in her own time.
“She’s worth the wait,” he told himself.
Cordelia was less happy about his official relationship. However, fortunately for her, Faith was one-of-a-kind and gifted the cheerleader three coupons for a free hookup with Xander. However, after using one on his birthday, he learned how much of a blessing and a curse it was. He was now Faith’s boyfriend, but Faith was seemingly fine with his and Cordelia’s casual sex. Caught between the brunette beauties was an awkward position for Xander to be in, because doing anything with Cordelia felt like he was putting his loyalty to Faith into question, and he didn’t like that.
After explaining to Cordelia that he wanted to stop having casual sex, she seemed to understand, but in a way that only she could. “Okay, fine,” she bemoaned. “…But I can still use the last two coupons, right?”
Xander snorted, shaking his head in disbelief as he said, “Unbelievable.”
“What?!” Cordelia demanded. “It’s not my fault she gave me three! And I used one for your birthday! Why should I have to be penalized just because you two suddenly want to be monogamous?”
“You can’t possibly think you were doing me a favor by sleeping with me!” he retorted, amazed they were arguing about this.
“It’s still pretty generous of me!” she sharply asserted.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure Gandhi would totally approve,” Xander returned sarcastically.
“I bet he wouldn’t be so selfish and would honor the deal.”
Shaking his head, Xander snorted and hugged the beautiful cheerleader, whispering, “Never change, Cordy.”
She hugged him back, replying, “As if perfection needs to change.”
Xander held her tight, all the while worrying about January 26th, the end of the year-loop. It was only a few weeks away, and he felt the constant pressure of that impending deadline weighing heavily on him. Sensing anxiety in him, Cordelia asked if he was alright. He assured her he was fine, but he knew it was a lie. He was far from fine, and the end of the loop was drawing uncomfortably closer with each passing hour.
“So is that a yes?” Cordelia warily asked, still hugging him.
He chuckled, answering, “Fine. Two more times, and that’s it.”
——
Xander had been steeling himself for days, anticipating Buffy’s Tento di Cruciamentum, the rite of passage Giles and the Watcher’s Council set up for her 18th birthday. It was an ancient custom enacted to test Slayers, force them to face their fears and weaknesses, and prove that they could persevere even without their supernatural powers. Xander had already seen the event in two previous loops.
So, for days, Xander fully expected Giles to inject Buffy with an organic compound of muscle relaxants and adrenaline suppressors, which would gradually weaken her powers until she had the physical capabilities of a common girl—not that Xander would allow that exercise in cruelty. However, to his surprise, Buffy’s eighteenth birthday came and went without incident.
Even on the days leading up to Buffy’s festive birthday party, he saw nothing to indicate she was being drugged and weakened. They simply had a party at her house, and despite how anxious Xander and Buffy were, it was nothing more than a fun night. Buffy expected her yearly curse of terrible birthdays to continue and Xander was expecting the same barbaric practice that happened every loop that lasted this long. But nothing did, and Xander wasn’t sure why.
A few days later, it was the 24th of January. Xander had two days before looping back, and he oddly felt numb. His mind couldn’t help comparing his final days at school with his friends to a death row inmate walking toward the chair. His stomach couldn’t hold down any food, and with no real power to stop it, everything felt so final. Willow approached Xander, Buffy, and Faith that morning and eagerly explained a spell she’d found that would be of tremendous aid to them.
“Giles is letting me cast a fairly intricate spell that’ll allow you to know where the others are by their weapon,” she excitedly told them. She asked if she could borrow their magical items, including Xander’s ring.
Though Xander felt uneasy without his trusty weapons and protective ring, he trusted Willow and wanted to support her advancement in magic. Thus, the fighters handed over their magical possessions without a second thought. Xander walked around school and work feeling so vulnerable, but at least he had his Armor Wear underneath his clothes.
As the ominous day of January 26th drew nearer, Xander felt a growing sense of unease with every passing hour. The brooding presence of Jack O’Toole around school only heightened his anxiety, reminding him of Old Man Xander’s adventure in his time, when he saved his friends from the homemade bomb, and kept it secret from them. Cordelia had given him the moniker of ‘the Zeppo’ during that time as well.
That evening, at Buffy’s house, Xander, Willow, and Buffy were by the driveway to see Joyce and Faith off. They were heading to take Faith’s assessment tests to enter high school mid-way through the year. Xander tried to push the looming dread he felt to the back of his mind as he waved at the car driving away. With Willow leaving to study for the intricate spell she was casting, Buffy and Xander found themselves alone for the first time in a while. They looked at each other, and Xander quickly felt the tension between them heighten, which helped him forget his persistent unease.
Standing by her front door, Xander watched her absentmindedly twirl a strand of blonde hair around her finger. He couldn’t help but wonder if her Slayer Dreams were getting worse, and if the weight of them was starting to take a toll on her. Xander knew Buffy discussed them with Giles, but she hadn’t brought it up to him. It made him wonder why she wouldn’t share her worries with him.
For whatever reason, Xander couldn’t figure out what Buffy was thinking, and thus he was surprised when she asked, “Want a PB&J?”
He smiled at the sudden drop of tension and replied, “How could I refuse such a delicacy of American cuisine?”
With a smile, Buffy walked into her home as she remarked, “Faith seemed nervous.”
“Yeah, but she had Willow’s help,” Xander replied. He closed the door behind them as he added, “I’m sure she’ll ace it.”
They were in the kitchen when Buffy asked, “How are you two doing?”
Her question caught him slightly off guard, and he momentarily contemplated the complexity of his relationship with Faith. Though he loved her to death, he struggled to articulate the thoughts swirling around in his head. Xander couldn’t help but feel like they were on different pages emotionally; not that he expected she’d need long to catch up to him. Xander imagined none of the girls around him would need nearly as much time as he had needed to mature. They weren’t as dumb and damaged as he was.
Buffy returned with the bread and peanut butter, noticing his hesitation.
“We’re… good. We’re good,” he answered. She retrieved the jelly from the fridge, and Xander took a seat at the kitchen island as he added, “She tends to need her space sometimes. It can feel like a lot to her, being in a committed relationship. But I think we’re doing good.”
Buffy nodded, understanding clearly written all over her face. She knew all too well how challenging relationships could be, especially when two people were in different places. Xander couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy at the thought of Buffy and Angel. From an emotional standpoint, they seemed so in sync, and he wanted that for him and Faith.
“What about you and Angel?” Xander asked, hoping to shift the focus away from his gloomy thoughts.
“We’re good, too,” Buffy answered, her voice slightly hesitant. She stared at the plates in her hands, avoiding Xander’s gaze. “Yeah… we- I mean, do I wish we could do more than kiss? Sure, sure… sure. But other than that, being with him is great.”
“Good. Great,” he responded, trying to sound nonchalant. The silence that grew between them was awkward, and he could feel the tension building. He wanted to ask additional questions, but he knew that her relationship with Angel was her business, and until Buffy asked for advice, he shouldn’t butt in. Instead, Xander changed the topic and asked, “Does Faith say a lot about us, or anything… weird?”
Setting the bottle of grape jelly down, Buffy chuckled, responding, “Uh, it’s Faith. Sometimes, I feel like she shares way too much.” With a knowing smile, she added, “I mean, you have to know girls talk, right?”
“That they do,” he warily agreed, wondering with trepidation what Faith had been saying. Before he stressed himself too much, he continued, “Moving on. Are you patrolling tonight?”
Getting a knife to spread the peanut butter and jelly, Buffy nodded. “I’m meeting Giles for some training later. Angel should be out there right now, and I guess Faith will want to hit something when she gets back.”
Xander huffed in amusement. “Guess I can patrol for a bit.” He hesitated a moment before asking Buffy, his tone serious, “Are you still having Slayer Dreams about me?”
Buffy’s cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as she set out the bread. She focused on her task as she answered, “Sometimes. But I don’t know that they’re important.”
“Oh,” he weakly replied, feeling mildly disappointed.
Setting down the jar of peanut butter, Buffy quickly reassured him, “Not to say you’re not important. It’s just that nothing’s happened yet, so it feels like there’s time.”
‘Except I don’t have time,’ he thought, once again recalling that he was slightly over two days away from looping back. His stomach turned so bad, he quickly lost his appetite. Slowly nodding, he asked, “Have you talked to Giles about them?”
Grabbing the jar, Buffy tried to open it as she said, “A bit, but I want to ask him more tonight.” She struggled to twist the red cap off as she said, “He’s been… busy… lately… …What the hell?”
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Buffy looked at the jar of peanut butter in disbelief. She was strong enough to bend a steel bar with ease, so it truly surprised her when the container refused to open. Xander smiled at the sight of her having trouble opening the jar of jam, and teasingly asked, “Having a bit of trouble there little la...dy…” The gears in his mind came to a halt as he finally realized what it meant. “Oh, shit!” he yelled, hopping off the stool.
His sudden outburst caught her off guard, and a concerned Buffy asked, “What? What is it-” But she was cut off by his urgent tone.
“We gotta go!” an alert Xander yelled, looking around the room and through windows, scanning for the slightest hint of impending danger.
Buffy moved closer to him as she asked, “Wait, Xander. Why?”
“Do you have- Shit!” he cursed. “Will’s got our stuff.”
Buffy’s confusion turned into growing alarm at the sight of the seriousness etched on his face. “What’s going on?”
“Grab a stake, or knife, or whatever, and let’s go!”
“Where do we need to go?” she demanded to know, her tone tinged with panic.
He extended his hand, and answered, “Will’s. I’ll explain why on the way!”
Buffy took it, and they ran toward the front door. They stopped at the coat closet and Buffy grabbed a stake and a squeeze-bottle of holy water from her jacket before stuffing it in her pocket. As soon as Xander and Buffy exited Buffy’s house, two figures dressed in black emerged from the shadows, each wielding a dart gun. In a flash, the projectiles were fired, hitting Buffy and Xander square in their center of mass. However, Xander was wearing his Armor Wear and the dart with the hypodermic needle at the tip couldn’t get through. It bounced off his chest with a mild thump and fell to the floor.
Xander quickly realized what was happening. It was the Watcher’s Council, trying to extract the Slayer for her rite of passage. Buffy’s weakness and the non-lethal attempts of attacking them easily confirmed as much.
“Xan…der?” Buffy weakly squeaked from beside him.
The dart was in her hand, but had obviously already punctured her chest, because she was leaning over as if she were going to fall. Xander caught her and immediately felt a sting in his shoulder. If he’d had his ring, he likely would’ve heard the dart gun from many yards away and had the enhanced reflexes to catch it. Instead, he quickly ripped it out of his arm and looked at it a moment before throwing it away.
Xander tried to pull Buffy toward his motorcycle in the driveway, but she had already lost her ability to walk. Seconds later, he was on his knees, which meant whatever chemical cocktail they filled the dart with was unique and powerful. Within a minute of watching Buffy first, and then himself drop to the floor, he couldn’t move, and after two minutes, he was unconscious.
Xander’s sluggish mind struggled against the effects of the drug in his system. His heart pounded in his chest as he tried to bypass the anesthesia and willed himself to move. Fortunately, he’d taken out the dart relatively fast, and when he opened his eyes, he was on the couch in Buffy’s living room, confirming he had lost consciousness. His body felt extremely lethargic and impossibly heavy, but he forced his head to turn and look at the clock. It had been twenty minutes already. Without his ring to do the heavy lifting, his mind would have to persevere on its own.
Xander gritted his teeth and forced his limbs to move, but they felt numb and pressurized, like being dangerously deep in quicksand. He even exhausted himself simply extending his hands to summon his weapons—hoping to God he didn’t hurt Willow because of it. After minutes without their appearance, he knew something was gravely wrong. Panic surged through him, but he was forced to ignore it. Buffy was in danger, and he needed to get to her before it was too late.
The drowsy teen stood upright, but it was a herculean effort. His legs felt like rubber, and he stumbled when he took his first step toward the door. He felt like he was walking through molasses, and every movement was a struggle. Still, he refused to give up, and eventually he reached the door, where he gritted his teeth and slammed his forehead against the sturdy surface.
The shock of the impact and the expanding bloom of pain momentarily cleared his mind and helped him focus. Xander rushed and stumbled outside. When he saw his bike in the driveway, he knew he had a dangerous decision to make. He didn’t have good balance and felt very weak, but he hoped the effects would clear with time. Xander rushed as best he could to his bike, but getting on nearly toppled him over.
‘Focus, focus, focus!’ his mind yelled at his body.
Xander’s heart pounded like a drum in his ears and he was sweating profusely, but he revved the engine of his bike and circled out of the driveway. Once on the road, he knew where he needed to go, and turned in the direction of the abandoned boarding house, Sunnydale Arms. The wind felt cold on his face and whipped through his hair as he navigated through the familiar streets of his town.
The world around Xander became a blurry mess as he sped down the paved roads. His surroundings faded in and out of focus, making it even riskier for him to continue driving at such a breakneck pace. But with adrenaline coursing through his veins, he pressed on, daring himself to go faster. He weaved in and out of traffic, ignoring traffic signals as if they were mere suggestions. Whenever his concentration wavered, Xander would touch the searing hot muffler with his leg, and the sudden pain jolted him back to awareness, keeping him on task. It was a dangerous game he played, but he was willing to risk it all to get to Buffy in time.
As he sped towards the abandoned boarding house, Xander’s eyes widened in shock as he nearly collided with a van that clearly had the right of way. He felt bad for nearly injuring someone else with his reckless driving, but at the mildly blurry sight of three or four large humanoid demons inside the vehicle, he could only wonder why they looked familiar.
‘The sisterhood of Jhe?’ he loosely thought, before his slow mind recalled the danger to Buffy’s life.
His mind was too garbled to think why the monstrous-looking demons were important. He simply pushed his bike to go faster and raced on to his destination. The abandoned boarding house loomed ahead of him, a foreboding sight with its darkened windows and crumbling façade. But Xander didn’t hesitate as he skidded to a stop in front of the entrance, letting his motorcycle drop to its side.
His heart pounding in his chest as he prepared to face whatever lay inside. Xander once again attempted to call his weapons to him but when nothing came, he removed the wooden dagger he stored in his bike, and clumsily rushed into the building.
“BUFFY!” he yelled, his voice echoing down the dimly lit, dilapidated corridors. The acrid scent of mold and decay filled his nostrils as the sweaty and exhausted teen called her name out again. “BUUFFFYYY!” he yelled, desperation and fear lacing his voice.
When he heard a crash, the uncoordinated boy ran toward the sound, his footsteps echoing against the decaying walls. The old building seemed to creak and groan with every step he took, adding to the tension and mounting sense of doom. Forgetting about his feebleness in that dire moment, he rammed through old double doors, shoulder-first, and felt the resistance of the old wood give way as he smashed through.
The room was a dilapidated mess, with many cobwebs draping the corners and a thick layer of dust coating every surface. The only furniture in sight was an old wooden table draped with a worn white cloth and a few creaky chairs haphazardly scattered around it. But all of that was insignificant compared to the gruesome scene unfolding before Xander’s eyes. Buffy was on the floor, battered and bruised, with a vampire looming over her, stuffing pills into its mouth before washing them down with water. The mess he made of the water spilling out the corners of his mouth and the sound of its throat gulping it all down turned Xander’s stomach.
Without hesitation, Xander rushed towards her, his eyes never leaving the long-haired vampire. The weakened Buffy crawled frantically towards him, her eyes locked on his for help. Tightening his grip on the wooden dagger, he reached her side and helped her up. Buffy winced in pain as she hopped on one leg, her left ankle clearly injured, likely twisted from her struggle with the vampire. As she couldn’t stand properly, she leaned on Xander as he extended his wooden dagger out, ready to face the creature head-on.
It advanced towards them, fangs bared and eyes flashing in rage. However, it suddenly began disintegrating into dust, and sooner than he expected, the vampire left nothing but a faint scent of ash behind. Instantly confused, Xander turned his gaze to the battered girl in his arm.
Breathing heavily, Buffy gravely joked, “He really should’ve checked the label before drinking that holy water.”
“Must’ve been a bad year,” he dryly quipped, but nothing about what happened next felt humorous.
The room was suddenly filled with the sound of shuffling footsteps as three cloaked acolytes of the Watcher’s Council and two burly men in street clothes stormed into the room. Xander and Buffy stood frozen, their eyes locked on the group of five menacing vampires that stared back at them with hungry, unblinking yellow eyes. Xander’s mind raced as he scanned the room, his eyes darting from the main exit to the only other door behind them. However, before the teens could make a move, the vampires moved with deadly grace, their bodies coiled like taut springs as they surrounded Xander and Buffy immediately, cutting off any hope of escape.
The lead vampire casually stepped forward, dressed like one of the acolytes. He inspected the scattered remains of his fallen kin with a grimace. “Looks like you killed my sire,” the one in charge said. He then turned his attention to Xander and Buffy. The vampire’s yellow eyes glittered with a dreadful darkness as he took a step closer, his gaze locked onto Buffy, and added, “But killing a Slayer on my second night as a vampire ought to more than make up for it.”
Xander tightened his grip on the wooden dagger, bracing himself for the imminent attack. However, upon hearing his friend’s labored breathing, seeing how bruised and bloodied she was, and realizing her ankle would hinder her combat capabilities, Xander knew she needed the weapon more.
Without hesitation, he extended the wooden dagger to her, his eyes flickering to all the vampires surrounding them. Buffy had her hand outstretched, not for the dagger, but to summon her magical weapon. However, just like Xander’s weapons, Slaymore was either incredibly far away or being blocked somehow.
“That won’t work,” the vampire in charge said with a sinister grin. “The Council went to extreme lengths to keep those weapons away. Dug a deep, deep hole, and put ‘em in a foot-thick, magically enhanced chest. It’s why those old windbags were so late throwing this party for you. So, try as you might, you won’t be getting your weapons back; at least, not before we kill you.”
With more feeling, Xander could tell his connection with Dreadnought was still there, only it was having difficulty breaking through an obstruction to get to him.
“Kill ‘em,” the leader ordered, and his goons eagerly complied.
Five vampires against two weakened humans… Xander knew running or splitting up were not viable options, and neither were any other strategies since the vampires charged right away. Xander forced the dagger into her hand, grabbed the nearest old and dusty chair, and swung on the closest vampire. The chair didn’t break like he’d hoped, but it knocked the blood-sucking demon back.
Xander’s instincts kicked in, and he let his body react without letting doubt hinder his movements. However, he was so weak he couldn’t evade or slip punches, thus he put his guard up, and every punch to the head was like getting shoved hard. He kept his balance, but he felt like a ping-pong ball, bouncing around between three vampires, being batted left and right. His only saving grace was his Armor Wear dulled a lot of the strikes to his stomach.
Xander attacked their footing, groins, and necks in a desperate attempt to stave them off while praying for a miracle. However, he was so slow and weak, his attacks seemed to be no more than a mild inconvenience to them. The first time he countered with an elbow to the face, the vampire slowly turned its furious yellow eyes on him. It returned a punch so hard Xander was knocked to the floor.
Through it all, he heard Buffy’s grunts as she was hit, and Xander was desperate to get to her—to save her—because he refused to give up. Despite the pain, he kept moving, using the numbness from the brutal blows to his advantage, striking back with greater force. But there were just too many vampires, and they were both too weak.
With a swift kick to the chest, Xander flew back, hitting the floor and rolling with the momentum. He felt like his heart had stopped beating, but with practiced ease, he rolled onto his feet, ready to attack. Inescapably, vampires were on him before he could do anything else. They held him by the shoulders, and he managed a blurry glimpse of Buffy—bravely fighting off her two attackers with the wooden blade—before the vampires sank their fangs into his flesh.
“AGGGGH!” Xander yelled in pain.
“Xander!” Buffy’s yell was cut short with a hard punch across the face, making her hair whip as her head spun.
Xander’s vision blurred as he fought to stay conscious despite the rapid blood loss. Fortunately, the vampire in charge ordered his men to stop, saving Xander, if only for the moment.
With glee, the lead vampire said, “Let’s make her watch while we kill her boyfriend!”
The group of vampires chuckled approvingly and moved Buffy and Xander close together. The teens were on their knees, facing each other, and only inches apart. Nearly his entire vision was of Buffy’s bloody and bruised, yet beautiful face. And he imagined it was the same for her. Each of their arms was firmly held by a vampire, ensuring escape was impossible. Xander could only think of summoning Dreadnought, because if he couldn’t hold his weapon soon, he knew that night would be the last in the loop.
One acolyte asked the leader with concern, “What about Travers?” He looked around the room as he slowly voiced, “We need to go before-”
“Before what? They’re all old men!” the acolyte in charge yelled. He turned his gaze to a corner of the room before yelling, “They can see us right now, and do you know what? He knows there’s nothing he could do to stop us! Fuck you, Travers! And your disgusting Tomato Mint Teas!” he cursed, raising a stern middle finger.
Xander’s heart ached at the sight of Buffy’s injuries. They were both battered and bruised, with sweat and blood dripping down their faces. Their limbs felt heavy, and their breaths came in ragged gasps. Buffy’s beautiful face was a mess of cuts and bruises, her blonde hair was matted with blood, and Xander was certain her body ached just as much as his.
Her half-lidded eyes met his, and for the briefest moment, the world around them faded away, leaving only the two of them suspended on the brink of death. Xander’s eyes were filled with pain and regret, and he wished he could have done more to protect her and his friends—been a stronger shield. With a quivering bottom lip, Buffy’s striking green eyes held a deep sadness, and Xander could see she felt guilty for dragging him into the perilous life of slaying.
But amidst the pain and regret, there was also a deep love, a shared bond that had been forged through countless battles and hardships. They didn’t need to say anything. Their eyes said it all: that no matter what the future held, they would face it together—as one—because they were bound by love and friendship.
The second vampire acolyte confidently suggested, “Maybe we should go across the street next?”
“Good idea,” the leader said. Turning his glare to the top corner of the room, he yelled, “You hear that, ya miserable old bastard! If you’re not gone by the time we get there… free buffet boys!”
The vampires whooped in joy as Xander continued to summon Dreadnought, though he felt too weak to do anything but look into Buffy’s greenish-blue eyes. Xander had nothing left, as his life force ebbed away. The pain in his head and body was nearly intolerable, and he struggled with every breath. As the world around him slowly faded into darkness, he was either looping back soon or, God willing, finally dying.
Her eyes sparked with tears, but also with a fierce determination that he had always admired. Xander knew he was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness, so with all the strength he had left, he whispered the most honest words he could muster.
“B-Bufffy,” he stuttered.
“Xand… er,” she whispered.
Blood made his tongue slip as he added, “N-No matter wh-wahat… I’ll al-alwayss l-love you. Alwayss-”
Three pairs of fangs sank into his flesh and a tearful Buffy yelled, “XANDER!”
The dying teenager barely heard her cry over the destruction of aged and decrepit walls bulldozed by his Dreadnought before his weapon slammed into his outstretched hand. Feeling the cooling sensation rushing through him like a second wind, Xander called upon lightning to rush along his blood and up their fangs into their brains. It hurt him like being cooked alive, but with all of his other injuries, his brain was so near to done, nothing mattered.
When they all dropped, Xander barely noticed a second weapon exploded through the wall, but he didn’t think he called Hellguard. The sword slid into Buffy’s hand and, with three fluid circular swipes of her sharp blade, she sliced through the hand holding down her arm, the same vampire’s neck, and finally the last vampire’s head in a second.
With renewed strength, Buffy scrambled over Xander’s trembling body to reach the three groaning vampires before they could regain their mobility. She gripped Slaymore tightly and swiftly dusted the first two. As Buffy finished off the last vampire, a sweaty Giles burst into the room, clutching a leather pouch, Hellguard, and Blood/Lust. Buffy reached her injured friend as Giles slid across the floor, coming to a stop beside Xander.
Despite gripping Dreadnought, Xander lay barely conscious, his heart beating erratically, and his breaths coming in ragged gasps. With steady hands, Giles quickly pulled Odin’s ring from the pouch and slid it onto the injured boy’s finger. Immediately, Xander felt more relief, but he couldn’t fully open his eyes yet. His magic was helping him heal the most critical injuries first; concussions, blood loss, internal bleeding, and nerve damage.
Placing a trembling hand on his chest, Buffy shook him as she yelled, “Xander, wake up! Please, wake up!”
Giles placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, stating, “Buffy, he has his ring and Dreadnought.”
Slowly, Xander’s breathing steadied, and his ragged gasps were replaced by deeper, calmer inhales. His skin, once a sickly white, slowly regained some healthy color. Buffy’s eyes never left his face, watching as life slowly flooded back into his body, and she let out a sigh of relief. Without thinking, her hand grasped his, their fingers interlacing with an unspoken understanding: they’d made it through another close call together.
The pair had been through so much together, fought side by side against the forces of darkness, and survived. In that moment, they knew they could always count on each other, no matter what horrors they faced. With a flicker of a smile, Xander squeezed Buffy’s hand, acknowledging their bond. They were more than just friends. They were each other’s safe harbor in a world made of chaotic storms.
At that moment, the High Watcher, Quintin Travers, and his remaining acolytes walked into the room. The elderly Englishman walked over to the dusted remains of the vampires and lamented, “Such loss. Blair, Hobson, you will be missed.”
As the elder Watcher turned to Buffy, Giles stood and demanded they bring aid. “Xander is a civilian and in need of emergency medical attention.”
“A civilian he may be,” Travers admitted with his gravelly voice, his eyes flickering with interest as he eyed the teenage boy. “But his creations are truly one of a kind; ‘otherworldly’ is what our alchemists concluded. You’ve discovered quite a talent, Mr. Giles. He will aid us well in our war against the forces of evil.”
Giles clenched his jaw, eyes burning with anger as he hotly contested, “He is not yours.”
Travers simply arched an eyebrow, replying, “Not yet.”
“Not… everrr,” Xander groaned, surprised he even had the energy to voice that.
“Xander!” Buffy yelled, moving close to inspect him all over. “Take it easy. Just rest.” She tried to help him up but found it incredibly difficult with her own injuries. Giles told her to let him rest longer.
“Congratulations, Miss Summers,” Travers complimented. “You passed. You exhibited extraordinary courage and clearheadedness in battle. The council is very pleased.”
Buffy narrowed her eyes at the man, still furious about the dangerous test he had subjected her and her friends to. “Do I get a gold star?” she asked sarcastically, eager to express her disdain for the Council’s actions.
Attempting to appease her, Travers nodded and replied, “I understand that you’re upset-”
“You understand nothing,” she snarled back. “You set that monster loose, and he turned three of yours and two civilians before nearly killing us!”
“You think the test was unfair, but evil is as evil does,” Travers replied smoothly, unbothered by the collateral damage.
Her anger palpable, Buffy threatened, “I think you better get out of town before I get my strength back.”
“We’re not in the business of ‘fair,’ Miss Summers,” he said, trying to educate her. “We’re fighting a war.”
“You’re waging a war,” Giles corrected. “They are fighting it. There is a difference.”
Annoyed by the interruption, Travers said, “Mr. Giles, if you don’t mind-”
“The test is done,” Giles interrupted. “We’re finished.”
“Not quite,” Travers gently asserted, as if his authority was beyond question. Nodding to Buffy, then Xander, he stated, “She passed. And he has left quite an impression.” Looking at Giles, he finished, “You may not have.”
Neither Giles nor Buffy knew what to say, but Xander asked, “Whaaa’s... that m-mean?”
To Giles, the stoic and unyielding Travers explained, “The Slayer isn’t the only one who must perform in this situation. You may have devised all the necessary precautions to ensure the viability of this test: employing a close friend of theirs to relinquish their enhanced weapons, scheduling Miss Lehane to be away, and neutralizing Miss Summers’ allies. However, your frame of mind throughout this entire affair seemed rooted in a wholly emotional sentiment. I’ve recommended to the Council that you be relieved of your duties as a Watcher.”
Shocked, Giles retorted, “On what grounds?”
“Your affection for your charge has compromised your ability for clear and impartial judgment,” Travers coldly answered. “You have a father’s love for her and that is useless to the cause.”
Giles couldn’t quite meet Buffy’s eyes, and he nervously repositioned his glasses. Buffy blinked when the truth of this registered in her mind, and subconsciously squeezed Xander’s hand. A dazed Xander weakly whispered, “Aawwww.”
Travers continued, “You are relieved of duty until further notice. Pending the results of an inquiry, it would be best for you not to have further contact with the Slayer.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Giles declared, his voice thick with defiance.
“No, well, I didn’t expect you to adhere to that,” Travers responded, his tone filled with derision. “However, if you interfere with the new Watcher or try to countermand his authority in any way until your fate has been determined, you will be dealt with. Are we clear?”
“We’re very clear,” Giles replied, though his face was etched with a mix of betrayal and disappointment. Xander didn’t approve of the way Giles had lost his job, but he knew the Watcher’s Council wasn’t a significant loss.
Travers turned to Xander and said, “We’ll be in touch.”
“Please don’t touch me,” Xander feebly replied. “I’m a minor.”
Travers shook his head, confused, opening his mouth to reply but finding no words to refute touching a minor. When he looked back at his acolytes, they slanted their gaze away and the leader ordered them to prepare for departure.
Buffy smiled before telling Xander, “You’re already eighteen, remember?”
“Oh, yeah,” he huffed, matching her smile. “That was a good birthday.”
To Buffy, Travers repeated, “Congratulations, again.”
“Bite me,” she snapped back.
Travers shook his head as he left the room, muttering under his breath, “What colorful children.”
——
Giles drove Xander and Buffy to her home—where Joyce, Willow, and Faith were already waiting—and the Council was nice enough to transport Xander’s bike there as well. They both stumbled into a bathroom to shower the blood, sweat, and grime off before their friends treated their wounds. Buffy and Xander sat on the living room couch, the adrenaline had long worn off, and they were both incredibly exhausted and sore.
Faith insisted they sit next to each other to make it easier to treat their wounds, and the teens were too fatigued to put up much resistance. They slouched on the couch with blue ice bags on their throbbing heads as Faith treated Xander and Willow treated Buffy. They were pressed so close together, Xander could feel the rise and fall of Buffy’s chest with each breath she took. Mrs. Summers prepared snacks for them, and the entire time, Xander and Buffy were explaining what had happened. Cordelia and Oz didn’t arrive until midway through the story, but enjoyed the snacks as they listened.
“I can’t believe Giles would lie to me like that,” Willow wailed, pacing back and forth, her expression a mix of anger and hurt. “To me!” the irate redhead exclaimed. “How could he? And to use the sanctity of magic to spin his web of lies! I feel violated!”
“So, how did you manage to kill Kralik?” Oz asked.
Having already heard the story, Joyce happily stated, “Oh, she was very clever.” At a pleading look from Buffy, Joyce course-corrected. “You go ahead and tell it, dear. You tell it better,” bringing a loving smile to Buffy’s face.
Willow continued to vent her frustrations, asking, “But when you say he was suspended, do you mean, like, fired indefinitely?”
After a stiff yawn, Xander lazily asked, “You’re not cruising past that concept anytime soon, are you?”
“It’s just- you both could’ve died!” Willow cried loudly, throwing her hands up. “And I was the one who took your weapons away! He made me complicit in your attempted murders!”
“I’m sure he didn’t want to, Will,” Buffy softly said with certainty.
“And he got our stuff back in the end,” Xander added.
Cordelia remarked, “He may be suspended, but it’s not like he’s going anywhere. He’s still the librarian.”
Oz reached out for his girlfriend and Willow took his hand. She sat down by her boyfriend as she mumbled, “Okay, but I’m writing the Council an angry letter; such anger!”
With an approving grin, Faith encouraged Willow. “You tell ‘em, Red.” And the redhead smiled, enjoying her nickname.
Despite the seriousness of the night’s events, Buffy injected a bit of humor, stating to all, “The important thing is…” Buffy yawned and finished, “I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror.”
Xander, already half-asleep, added, “There you go. A bright side to everything.”
After quickly explaining the rest, the exhaustion was too much to bear and Xander went into a deep sleep, with Buffy joining him seconds later.