Panic
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Having sex with strangers hid a simple fact from Xander. Strangers, no matter how beautiful, don’t mean as much as personal connections. Leaving these gorgeous women when he looped didn’t carry the same weight as it did leaving Miss Calendar. The dark-haired teenager had no expectation of waking beside these beautiful strangers the following morning and he couldn’t claim to know them like he did his gorgeous teacher. Xander knew enough about them to bed them, so when they disappeared in the morning, he didn’t feel as though he lost something meaningful. The depth of their connection to him was little better than smiling at a stranger.
After frequent visits to Jenny’s bed, it became so clear how much he wanted to see her the following morning; how much he wanted to see everyone the following morning. However, clearly, Jenny wasn’t going to do that for him. Absent another solid goal, Xander decided to try Casanova on Cordelia.
It took some prep work to give the legendary playboy enough time with the social Queen of Sunnydale without interfering with Buffy and Willow. Xander alerted Angel to come by earlier. He dropped Giles’ name to Ethan so that he’d relocate the bust of Janus to a secondary location. And the teenager ‘accidentally’ ran into the catsuit-wearing Cordelia on the street to move her away from the worst of the night’s chaos. Xander gave Casanova as much time as possible to make some magic happen, however, no matter how many loops he dedicated to this mission, it was clear Casanova’s game would not work with the cheerleader.
Cordelia simply knew Xander much more personally than Ms. Calendar did and loathed him as much as he did her. Her opinion of Xander made it impossible for the gorgeous brunette to be persuaded by Casanova and submit to his dubious tactics. Even when Casanova would hurt Xander’s body, it had no effect on her.
She only winced before asking, “Is this how you get all the girls? Cuz I gotta say, I read about you, and this is pretty pathetic.”
If her blunt honesty and rebellion of decency weren’t enough, Cordelia also had a boyfriend and explicitly proclaimed she wasn’t the type of girl to be unfaithful. She hated cheaters and that impressed Casanova so much he always bowed out.
Xander couldn’t bring himself to unleash Casanova on Willow. She was just too close to him, and in so many unmanly ways, he didn’t think he could handle knowing that side of his best friend without her remembering it as well. Xander didn’t think he could have the memory of her moaning under him, then see her the next day and act as if nothing monumental happened.
Xander felt similar reservations toward Buffy, but not exactly. He’s had the biggest crush on his personal hero since he first laid eyes on her on that sunny first day of school; the one and only time he used a skateboard to travel to school. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to have a sexual relationship with Buffy. She’s his number one. However, to then to wake up alone and Buffy be unable to share the same memories with him… for it to be so one-sided, made him feel sick. That’s not how he wanted to be with Buffy.
But even so, he tried it one time to be sure.
With some relief, both Willow and Angel quickly interfered. Casanova’s silver tongue could only do so much against an angry vampire boyfriend with super-strength. Think about the other times Xander’s tried to steer his friends away from Ethan’s shop, Buffy was never alone. Willow, Buffy, and Angel all worked together to stop the curse and help the possessed Xander. In the end, he simply decided ruining the image of his blonde hero wasn’t worth it.
Xander meandered around town, looking for beautiful women to pass his ever-repeating time with. Casanova managed to seduce another three beauties within the two-hour time frame out of the eighteen that he tried. Xander then mimicked the playboy with them to the same result. The day would then repeat, and no one but him would remember. It was truly beginning to sink in that nothing he did would ever matter, no matter how insane. And it was scaring him more with every loop. To avoid this building anxiety, Xander searched for more questionable excitement.
His mind’s thought process was a simple as, ‘I want stuff I can’t afford. Might as well just take it.’
Xander tried to rob a bank without using a gun, but quickly found he detested the look of terror on people’s faces, as if he was actually going to hurt them. The frightened old lady trying to withdraw money from her account begged him not to kill her. Her trembling cheeks and the wrinkles of her face felt dramatic as she looked at him like she believed he would kill her just for the money. That hit Xander hard. Though it was a rush escaping the authorities, by the next loop, Xander decided on victimless thievery.
He enjoyed using the Soldier costume’s knowledge to sneak into the armory of the nearby military base. Firing rocket launchers into the sky was a cheap thrill, but anything to keep himself from falling into total despair. He needed excitement like his parents needed a drink, and that scared him more.
Xander found he enjoyed stealing cars from three of the six car dealerships in Sunnydale, specifically the Dodge dealership. Since he didn’t have a driver’s license, taking the car out for a test drive and never returning wasn’t an option. However, he used half a dozen loops to memorize the names of key employees and pretend to work there. He then returned the car to its parking spot after someone else had test-driven it. The salesman simply thought he was a new hire and took care of his customer.
Xander would drive out of car lots with some of the fastest sports cars they had; Ford Mustang, Mazda RX-7, M series BMW, Porsche 911, Nissan 300ZX, Chevy Corvette, and his absolute favorite, the Dodge Viper GT. The cherry-red 450hp sports car was an absolute thrill ride and easily made him forget his worries as he raced it everywhere around town. Xander especially loved it when the police chased him. After a few crashes, he quickly swayed Ethan to make a race car driver costume. Though Xander’s muscles weren’t accustomed to the G-force of drifting, the resistance of the steering wheel at sharp turns, or manual shifting, he at least knew the concepts of professional racing.
It was due to one high-speed chase that Xander ended up in Los Angeles. There wasn’t a lot the thrill junkie could do in the single 24 hours he had to move around, but in his Dodge Viper, traveling at 170 mph, he could speed southeast to LA in less than an hour. At those speeds, the sports car was so aerodynamic he worried more about an updraft launching him into the air than he did State Troopers chasing him. Fortunately, he knew where they all were by the third loop.
When he reached LA, he knew of one thing he absolutely needed to do. In Tinseltown, home to the mind-numbing world of movies, TV shows, and beautiful actresses that he loved so much, Xander needed to use Casanova on one or two of the most beautiful actresses in America. The teenager had a picture of Kelly Kapowski in his room and beat his noodle to her often. There was no way he wasn’t going to look for and find the studio where Saved By the Bell was filmed. The thrill alone would hold his interest and his sanity.
Scouting the large Universal Studios with its high walls and security at every entrance, Xander first scaled the high walls. When he was caught, he did as he’s done so many times already, and pretended he already worked there and simply lost his name badge. He was being escorted out of the lot, but there was plenty of time for Xander to hunt for the info he needed.
The clean-shaven, potbelly security guard chuckled before revealing, “If you actually had an ID badge to lose, you’d know to go to security and have them issue you a temp.”
Far too experienced duping people, Xander acted insistently as he replied, “But I’m new, though. I just needed to get inside and talk to my supervisor.”
As they’re walking to the exit with the sun beating over them, the large man demanded to know, “What production?”
“Saved By the Bell,” he answered.
“Who on Saved By the Bell?”
“Jeremiah,” Xander guessed. “Goes by Jeremy.”
“Oh, yeah?” the large guard quirked with a snicker. “Stephanie had a sex change and goes by Jeremy now, does she?”
Xander didn’t balk at being caught. He continued the lie to get more out of the man. “Stephanie? Who the hell is that? Jeremy runs the crew on Saved By the Bell.”
“There ain’t no Jeremy,” the guard hotly insisted. “Stephanie in Admin runs all the crews on the lot. If you don’t know her, or Ken Moore, who handles new hires, then you’re just lying to sneak your ass on the lot. I’m being real nice here by not calling the cops. So either tell me the truth or you’re leaving in cuffs.”
“Call Jeremy,” Xander insisted. “He’ll tell you I’m new. It’s Halloween, and I came out because he said someone called out and I could replace him. Come on, man. It’s like, a ‘Who-You-Know,’ kinda thing.”
“How ‘bout this then,” the heavy-set guard began. He pointed at the security booth and said, “I’ll call Donavon, who handles every… What are you supposed to be on the crew? PA? Lighting? Set? Props?”
Xander recalled that a PA was essentially a gofer for the actor and answered, “Production Assistant.”
“Fine,” the man said. “I’ll call Donavon, who clears everyone on the set of SBB, and if he hasn’t heard of a…”
“Xander,” he replied. “Xander Harris.”
“If he hasn’t heard of you, you’re sleeping in a cell tonight.”
“Fine,” Xander replied, shrugging. “Call him. I want this cleared up as much as you do.”
Xander only needed names and titles, and his talk with Donavon over the phone added more than enough information. Fortunately, the production was short-staffed on the holiday, and in the following loop, Xander walked up to security and requested a temp badge. When they had no record of him, Xander easily name-dropped Stephanie, Ken Moore, and Donavon, as well as the name of the person who called out. He was issued a temp ID and entered the studio lot without the worry of being kicked out. Whatever it took to get near Kelly Kapowski, Xander did it, because her supreme beauty was worth it.
‘Hers is the real face that could launch a thousand ships,’ he thought excitedly. Having seen Helen of Troy through Achilles’ memories, he could easily say that for a fact. Women back then looked very different than they do now. ‘Thank God for showers, razor blades, and salons,’ he gratefully reflected.
When Xander finally got close to the actress Tiffani Amber Thiessen, he learned, to his surprise, Ethan’s Janus curse had a range limit. He didn’t turn into Casanova at six pm. Xander recalled traveling to Las Vegas, Texas, and even New York, but since he wasn’t wearing a costume for those trips, he simply assumed the curse worked everywhere. Fortunately, the crew can work in Halloween costumes so it wasn’t weird that he was wearing one. The challenge didn’t deter him, however. The drive to keep away from despair was what mattered most to the hormonal boy.
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
Xander started the way Casanova always did, by reading her expressions and getting a reaction out of her. He was direct in one loop and observed what she did; showed his desire for her in the next loop, then observed; overheard other conversations about her; or lied to her; all to see how she responded. He’d strike up a conversation about her likes and dislikes, tried to narrow down her humor, and little-by-little learn more and more about her until he could thoroughly impress her upon their twentieth first meeting.
“Hey, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he began when they’re introduced. “I just have to say, I really enjoy your positive vibe. The days on set can run pretty long, but when you see a bright smile, it can feel easier.” It was a friendly enough greeting, and all he wanted her to do was keep him in mind.
Her clumsiness allowed him to catch her the two times she nearly tripped on the many electrical wires on the floor. The three jokes that got her wondering about him were all laced with flirtation.
“I did have a girlfriend, but we broke up,” he glumly explained to her. They were in wardrobe between set-ups. “She borrowed my shirts and sweaters all the time, but the second I wear one of her dresses, suddenly we need to ‘talk.’” Tiffani snorted at the unexpected direction of his retelling, and when she looked at him curiously, he simply smiled and winked before leaving Wardrobe to replace his radio battery.
In the Hair & Makeup trailer, the ladies were on the topic of love and relationships. When asked about his type, Xander expressed to Tiffani and the dressing room, “Uh, I guess my ideal girl would have a special combination of inner and outer beauty, but more importantly, she has to be too naïve to know she’s way out of my league.” All the ladies laughed while Xander eyed the stunning actress with a hint of knowing in his eyes. It made her smirk.
In Tiffani’s dressing room, after he helped her go over some lines, she asked Xander what he was dressed as and the teen casually answered, “Casanova.”
“Oooooh, really?” she cutely replied with amusement. Despite how hypnotic her alluring face and batting eyelashes were, Xander kept his great appetite for her in check. He’s done this far too much to mess up again. She leaned forward and slanted her head, making his heart skip a beat, before she asked, “Think you’re that smooth, do ya? Well, come on then. Gimme a line.”
Pretending to be suave in front of one of the most beautiful women in the world wasn’t easy, however, he just managed to play his aloofness along and ask, “Really? You sure you can handle this? I’m Giacomo Casanova; number one player in all of history.”
“Sweep me off my feet then, smooth talker,” she teasingly shot back with a playful smile.
With Casanova’s insight, Xander knew they were already flirting and could hardly believe it, however, that didn’t mean the deal was done. He could still mess up and turn her off. No matter how many wins he racks up, all it takes is one loss to lose it all. Xander’s already gotten this far three times, so he knew to ask, “Alright, but I’m going to need a picture of you first.”
Knitting her brows in confusion, she asked, “Why?”
“So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas,” he easily delivered with a knowing smirk on his face.
It wasn’t his best joke, but it made Tiffani instantly laugh at the half cheesy, half unexpected pickup line. She held her sides before smacking him on the shoulder. To her great surprise, a confident Xander swiftly picked her up princess style. Startled, she squeaked as she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and looked at him. Xander knew to relay with his eyes first that safety was paramount, and she was never in any danger of pain… only of pleasure. He then smoothly answered her curious look.
“You said to sweep you off your feet,” he easily reminded her, making her attempt to restrain her smile and failing.
Xander leaned in near to her full red lips and waited. It took her a few seconds to make the leap, but in this loop, she finally did and leaned the rest of the way. When they finally kissed, her soft, full lips against his was a feeling of pleasure so powerful, it completely made him forget all about his cursed time loop. Xander could forget his problems and only focus on turning the sultry Tiffani into a quivering mess by the end of the night.
He spent the next three dozen loops perfecting his mastery of Tiffani Amber Thiessen’s sexy body. With kissing, Xander discovered she loved a hot, demanding kiss, filling her oral cavity with his tongue and sucking on hers. When he did it just right, it would make her forget herself and want more. He could rub her taut belly as they made out, and in a few loops, he discovered how sensitive her lower back and hips were. She loved when he massaged the dimples just above her ass.
As he picked up more and more of her sensitive spots over her clothes, she would be so aroused, he could slip his hand under her panties’ waistband. As he made out with her in her trailer, his right hand cupped her dripping sex before his fingers expertly played with her pussy lips. Melting from the touch of his warm digits, Tiffani groaned in his mouth and let Xander overpower her. Through their kiss, he could tell her mind devolved to little more than her desires, and he was happy to fulfill them as his hand moved inside her to caress her hot, wet entrance. She broke their kiss to rest her head on his shoulder and he massaged the base of her skull because she had a sensitive scalp while he fingered her to completion.
“Oh, Xan- Xander,” she moaned, banging her feverish head against his shoulder at the overwhelming bliss threatening to wreck her body. “I’m gonna- AH! MMNNnn… I’m gonna cum! HUAAH! You’re going to make me cum!”
They could both feel her insides squirming and shuddering for ten long seconds before she bit his trapezius as ecstasy exploded from her womanhood, shooting undiluted bliss up her spine and into her brain. Her body spasmed from her waist outward as her orgasm didn’t subside for a full minute. He kissed her gently, which she happily returned, and eventually, they found themselves in her three-bedroom house.
It took Xander five to seven loops to learn the intimate secrets of her pink treasure with his tongue and hands. Grinning like a loon, Xander grasped Tiffani’s flush and shivering hips, ready to finally stuff his giddy manhood in. She was still recovering from her previous orgasm, but the teen positioned his raging erection against the celebrity’s dripping sex. Gazing adoringly at the naked beauty under him, he then pulled her in as he impaled her tight pussy with his man-meat. Tiffani moaned loudly, arching her back as her cunt widened to accept his eager cock into her.
“HOLY SHII… You feel like heaven on earth,” Xander groaned, eyes closed as he relished in the bliss of her hot, dripping, tight pussy.
Her tightness made him wrap his arms around her thin waist before slamming into her, thrusting deep into her young belly. Tiffani gripped the expensive sheets of her king-sized bed as her legs wrapped around his ass. His mouth locked around her large left bosom, sucking on the pert nipple as their bodies glistened with growing perspiration. Again and again, Xander’s near six-inch jack-hammered into Tiffani’s tight, slick vagina, hitting her g-spot better than she ever expected. The surprise of how well he knew her body magnified the strength of her many orgasms, and the stunning actress felt another massive pleasure coil ready to snap.
“Xander!” she yelled. “AHH! AA’M GOING TU- KUUHH- CUMMMINNNG!!”
Xander slammed balls deep and her hot pussy shivered around his cock, gripping him tightly as she orgasmed mightily. Like she was one giant erogenous zone, her love tunnel exploded with ecstasy. When she realized the hot jelly filling her baby chamber was his potent seed, her eyes rolled in the back of her head as multiple orgasms ravaged her boneless body.
After learning how to give her multiple orgasms and pass out for the night, Xander only repeated the roller coaster event another dozen times before he started feeling that dark cloud again. Waking up alone in his disgusting room, having memories he couldn’t share with anyone, losing every achievement with every loop, it made Xander’s chest tighten and his breathing shortened. Rather than submit to the vile feeling following him, he shook it and moved on from the insanely gorgeous Kelly Kapowski to other actresses he’s fantasized about.
It hurt Xander to his soul when he learned that X-Files and Power Rangers were filmed in Vancouver. Scully and the Pink Ranger were frequent visitors of his fantasies, and it would’ve been another fantasy come true. Fortunately, Baywatch was filmed on the beaches of LA, and Married with Children was filmed in Hollywood. Xander could not resist fulfilling his fantasy of having copious amounts of sex with CJ, Caroline, and Kelly Bundy. He couldn’t find their look-alikes in Sunnydale, but nothing could ever compete with the real thing.
Getting near to CJ, Caroline, and Kelly Bundy and turning them into a quivering mess by the end of the night as it did with Tiffani. Fucking sexy actresses he’s longed for since his parents sat him in front of a television to keep him quiet was amazing for dozens of consecutive loops. It wouldn’t surprise the hormonal teen if he spent at least a year with them. Sadly, like all the other girls he’s bedded, the stunning actresses never wanted to do anything too crazy, because from their perspective, it was their first time with a boy they just met. Other than a few minor variations, they’d always do the same things before forgetting the experience and him entirely.
And of course, there was never a tomorrow.
When Xander thrusted his rock-hard 5.9-inch tower inside four of the most beautiful women in America—women every boy in his school would kill, literally kill, to be with—and felt empty inside, he finally had the panic attack he had been desperately trying to avoid. He didn’t care if he freaked Pam out. He couldn’t take it anymore and simply broke down.
He couldn’t stop himself from yelling, “I need to get out! I need to die or stop or move forward, or anything but repeat the same day over and over again!” He turned to the panic-stricken Pamela as he yelled, “Even demons and vampires get to die!”
The busty blonde backed away slowly, clearly fearing for her safety. He must’ve sounded like a lunatic to her, but he didn’t care. Xander simply dropped to the floor and cried as he whined, “Why do I have to suffer more than soulless, blood-sucking murders?”
Xander had another panic attack when the police showed up and ended up at the hospital. Staring at a different ceiling, though still cleaner than his own, a heavily medicated Xander felt hollow as he traced back through everything that’s happened to him. As much as he loved sex, it was clear getting out was far more important. If he didn’t, he feared he truly will lose his mind. Escaping the time loop was his only thought repeating in his mind until exhaustion finally allowed him to sleep.
In the very next loop, a haggard and desperate Xander continued what he was trying to do before discovering the supremely appealing distraction of women; attempting to escape the time loop. He dressed as Sherlock again with additional precautions to get answers out of the genius. Xander handcuffed the great detective in a motel room of the Motor Inn with the looping problem plastered on the walls to see if he could shed even a sliver of new light on solving his never-ending agony.
The raven-haired teenager wrote everything he knew: The secret phrase only Sherlock would know so the man didn’t waste time doubting him; the time loop that started when he woke up and ended at 3 AM; the seven deaths that automatically triggered being sent back; the Halloween costumes and how that explains why the only face in the mirror isn’t his face; how no distance traveled seemed to matter; And how mundane of a teenager he was. He even wrote down a warlock mentioning how unlikely someone would go through the trouble of using such unimaginable powerful spell simply to put someone so uninspiring in a time loop.
After a dozen loops of always adding as much information as he could, the flustered Sherlock ultimately reasoned that he needed more time and data to draw up any meaningful conclusion. Xander duct-taped more, likely useless, data on the walls—bios about his friends, explanations of how magic works, some theories on time from a magical perspective, and summaries of different tomes. Xander delayed the Janus curse for as long as possible to give the genius detective enough time to provide solutions.
When even that failed to provide any answers, he once again tried to convince Ethan to make a Batman cowl to be a different great detective, but no amount of begging, confession, or coercion could move the Englishman to stitch up that ‘popcorn rubbish.’ Xander had no choice but to rely on Sherlock. He was a brilliant man and picked at every detail from twenty different angles, but even after twenty more loops with him handcuffed to a chair in a room with the entirety of the problem taped all over the walls and ceiling, Sherlock Holmes couldn’t figure out how to break the time loop without more information.
“I need more,” he would yell. “More time and more data!” Which was impossible for Xander to provide without escaping the time loop in the first place. That, or dressing up like an older version himself…
“OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH,” Xander screamed with his hands clapping his cheeks. As the stunning idea barreled to the forefront of his mind like a bull through a china shop, he yelled with widened eyes, “HOLY SHIT TWIZZLERS, BATMAN!!”
In the very next loop, Xander conned Ethan into believing he was being bullied by his friends because of his frequent mistakes and stupidity. The incredibly desperate teenager played Ethan like his life depended on it, and explained how he wanted to dress up as an older version of himself in hopes it’ll help him feel wiser for a night. With a sympathetic smile, Ethan presented the young teenager with a white wig, a cheap cane, thick-framed black glasses, a red bow tie, matching suspenders, and a ‘Hello, My Name Is,’ name badge with the name Xander Harris already written on it.
The raven-haired teenager wore the costume with bubbling excitement. He set the stage so the curse could last for as long as possible, and waited in his room for the moment of truth. As soon as the clock struck six, Xander freaked out to learn he was blind in his left eye.