[So Grug, we've spent most of our time talking about your company so far, but no company reaches the heights yours has without running into competition. Tell us about how you reacted when faced by a new competitor. ]

"Grug face many challenges along way, many of even Grug's best workers try to beat Grug at own game. Grug remember one group of not-cave people, with big, thick head, wide body, but quick hands that tried to run Grug out of business.

[Neanderthals? You mean you met them? What were they like?]

Grug scowled ferociously, before spitting into his palm vehemently and rubbing it on the carpet, then stomping on it relentlessly.

"Worse than Grug can tell. They seem good, be good friends and mash-water buddies sometimes. But inside? If hungry, big-head people eat own younglings and even try eat Grug a few time. You should have seen Mug, she so mad she headbutt one hard enough it pass out mid-swallow on Gnartha's youngling , start swinging by leg like club.

They smart behind dumb face though, watch well, good hands, make best foot-bags and no pelt wraps."

[Foot bags?]

Grug points at her feet, enclosed by sensible business shoes in cream patent leather.

"Foot-bags. That how they try to beat Grug, force out of business during long-winter. But Grug start at beginning. Last couple long winter not be too bad, like long spring, but that one get cold, feet start falling off on hunter out all day in snow. So Grug went to Rockert cave to talk about what do. Rockert tell Grug his feet feel better when cold when he put in fur.

So Grug go out to Thinking Rock and ponder how to make foot hides, since Grug not know about foot bag then. Grug try wrap hides around foot with rope, but rope keep falling off hide. So Grug thunk some more then wander over to Dark Forest. Grug feet in snow under trees, got cold fast, so Grug was leaving when he saw Big-Heads with foot-hides! Grug run over, and ask old one of Big-Head people if can teach Grug to make foot-bag, as they call.

Old One, Ngrymth, tell Grug he teach for youngling and hunt, live in forest, have forest for tribe. Grug say "No way!" Grug looked at tribe of Big-head people, saw very fit and fat, not need hunt from Grug."

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Grug looked askance, thumbing his nose.

"That when Grug realized Ngrymth up to no good, try to muscle in on Grug territory. So Grug made a cunning plan."

[What did you do, Grug?[

"Thank you for asking. Grug went and got 3 bucket of mash-water and brought to Ngrymth and friends. Left saying busy with gather. Grug went home and waited for Mash to kick in. Wasn't long before Grug heard crash and bash and Hunter yelling. Mug come and get Grug, tell Grug go to Speaker home in Big Cave.

Grug went, place was big mess, bones everywhere, hunt and shiny-only stolen, 3 youngling missing. Hunters hooting and howling for blood, gatherers getting spears and sling ready, big to-do. Grug think fast, smell opportunity and way to fix problem of foot falling off.

Grug step to front, say "Crazy Big-Heads tear up Grug workshop, steal mash-water and hunt, take Mug shiny-only on rope, must punish Big-Heads! Fight off Big-Heads before steal all younglings and take Big Cave from Big Rock tribe!" All cheer, stamp foot on floor, do war-dance, then run out of cave on trail of Big-Heads."

[Grug. Are you telling me you started a war of extinction with a Neanderthal tribe to steal their shoes?]

Grug smiled widely in a toothy grin, staring into Banou's eyes for a long moment before nodding affirmatively.

"Best three buckets of mash-water Grug ever spent. All Big-Heads coming onto Grug territory dead, Grug have many foot-bag to sell and research, and Brother Bear and Sister Wolf not come out of Dark Forest all long-winter. When Grug take foot-bag to Mug and Speaker and they tell Grug to add only-shiny button, Grug make killing, and learn how to make with punch-bird Big-Heads bag-maker had in wrap."

Grug reaches into his snack pocket and pulls out a brightly colored red bird, tightly wrapped in thin cord with an exceptionally sharp looking straight beak. The bird seemed to be perfectly content in its bound state, whistling pleasantly while Grug demonstrated it's hole punching ability on the side of his chair, much to the producers dismay.

[Property damage aside Grug, is that bird covered in cat hair? Don't tell me you ate a housecat this morning in addition to starting the first trade war.]

"Grug not eat cat. Grug eat Mug-recipe Puma nuggets. Fur full of roughage and texture. Good for you. Want one?"

Grug pulls out a furry, fried nugget of meat, and holds it out to Banou. Banou eyes, normally stoic and placid, go wide, rolling into her head and with a sigh, she fainted straight away. The producer and cameraman rush into the set to retrieve the fallen interviewer, while Grug stands so close to the running camera his nose touches the lenses.

["This be Grug Quicktalker, signing off for Big Rock, Good night! Remember to eat your tasty Puma Nuggets!"]