Banou Tzimitzkes sat placidly in her desk chair, looking over a sheaf of notes and drinking from a large cup of coffee decorated with a stylized picture of Grug holding a giant coffee bean over his head, The words "Boulder Brew" in blocky red letters below his feet. Ratings were good, engagement was as usual not an issue, with a unpredictable maverick like Grug around, it was more likely he'd need to be shut up rather than made to speak.

A different logo in the stack caught her eye, and she repressed a sigh. Legal, afraid of Grug, resorting to planting notices in her mail. Typical.

"What's it going to be this time? Excessive references to alcohol? Eating on camera? Vandalism? ...Well, that one was warranted, yet somehow it is fine that someone tried to assassinate him...No use putting it off any longer. Survey says!"

Exploitation and Licentious Use of Non-Consentual Descriptions of Certain Employees by Means of Audio Format Free-form Storytelling in Non-Extraditable Unfederated Private Holdings....and so on it went in three pages of densely packed type, skipping to the end, she reached the fourth and final page, containing the complainants.

...And by signing, do solemnly swear that this is both true and valid....

What followed was an impressive assortment of government, industrial, and entertainment figures.

And scribbled on the blank back of the signatory page, Legal had scribbled, "He doesn't have to apologize, just get him off the island. Posthaste. Some stories aren't worth this particular kind of publicity. Signed in hopes of a peaceful relationship by..." and the signatures the entire legal staff of Bouldercorp marched down the paper in neat rows.

[Wow Grug, you do sure get some interesting places...]

"Grug do what? Grug only went to toilet, make Grug-rocks. Nowhere special. "

[Looks like your little reveal of the island of hedonistic nudists ruffled some feathers back in Bouldercorp headquarters and the Capitol, not to say the least, Stonywood.]

"Legal make fuss? Let Grug see paperwork, see what idjits come after Grug this time."

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Grug graciously accepted the papers, whisking a rather dainty pair of pince-nez glasses from a hidden pocket and settling them on the edge of his wide nose. Grug spent the next few minutes in a visually unimpressive but nearly infuriating series of grunting, farting, nodding, and clicking his tongue as he carefully perused the entire document from beginning to end. With a nonchalance only seen in certain species of duck, he shoved the entirety of the notice into his mouth while massaging his throat until, with a celluloid belch, he sat down and asked for a cup of water.

[Is that, "to hell with you", " message received", or "I'll be handling this personally and at the earliest possible moment"?]

"Grug read it, Grug know what to do. Watch first master ever was at work, Banou."

Grug motioned with his glass towards a clean-shaven caveman dapperly dressed in an elegantly tailored silk suit, who was accompanied by what appeared to be a elderly gorilla. They both approached, anticipation clear on their faces.

"Buhz, take care of usual suspects in Capitol, use good food this time, not expired Iberico like last time. Sod-knockers in businesses, pass out the special goodies, you know, stuff from Dr.K. Softhead Big-Heads in Stonywood, give them usual Long-Snout package express delivery, all love that."

"Also, fire all of Legal. Grug pay for protection, not notices."

Grug bowed before the gorilla, who bowed even deeper in reply.

"H'uh'aw'ook, I'll be accepting call to negotiate contract soon, welcome to Bouldercorp."

The gorilla bowed deeply once more and grasped Grug's forearm in acknowledgement before gamboling out of the room.

Grug subsided back into his chair with a weary flatulence.

[Grug. Forgive me if I'm losing my gourd here, but did you just assign bribes to about a hundred of the most powerful people in the world, breaking at least 3 laws, in front of a roomful of witnesses?]

"Five actually. Banou not counting the vandalism of public road and destruction of state property by private citizen. Grug handled it, Banou just watch."

[I heard nothing, Grug. I must've gone temporarily insane. But what about the big monkey, and firing Legal?]

"He not monkey, H'uh'aw'ook is Eastern Mountain Gorilla, Gorilla beringei, totally different. He great lawyer. He bring him and whole troop to take over, Bill not doing job, so Bill and Bill's people gone, fact of business."

[I guess that means we're not doing any filming today? Given they've filed an injunction and your Legal team and you need to go wrec--- I mean see the judge to request a stay?]

"See! Grug business acumen rubbing off on Banou, Grug go give judge what four and get show out of red tape. Tell crew to go home, I pay for today, no worries."

Everyone slowly filtered out of the studio, leaving Banou, overcome by events, still sitting in her chair. And all through the building could be heard the rhythmic percussion of head meeting desk.