"Grug skip feast talk, day not one of Grug's best, spent in hole filled with salt-water up to nose. Instead, Grug talk about Grug big boat."

[I thought you hated boating, Grug. You said saltwater boating was your worst enemy.]

"Grug do hate it, but Grug love trade more. It Fishchuck Bear-Brother fault, as usual. "

[Bear-Brother? I've never heard you use last names really before. ]

"Grug create that too. It bit of revenge Grug take on Fishchuck while laborers work on Big Boat. He take other revenge too, but Grug tell about that later. Anyway, Grug feel better by next day after Shellgather find and rehydrate poor Grug. Grug sitting on front of Fishchuck house eating soup, when Fishchuck come and sit down.

Grug still irked from way he treat master trader like Grug, and ignore him. He pick teeth with fish bone, look pleased as punch, watch Geddafigs do shaman magic for Sea-Folk children."

[Ooo, what kind of magic?]

"Simple stuff, make dead crab walk around again, nose-steal trick, make many rock from one and toss in circles, make stone-candy into shiny yellow rocks. Waste of good stone-candy if you ask Grug."

Grug mimes throwing salt over his shoulder.

"All hokum, shaman magic. Speaker say so, and Speaker smartest person Grug know other than Grug. Party trick for hunt and free hides."

[Getting back on topic...]

Grug nods, shaking loose his introspection on the finer points of shamanic practices, as well as 3 beetles and one very confused hamster from his beard.

Banou quickly snatched the small rodent, sending an aide scurrying out of the room with it before Grug could recover it.

"Hey! That part of Grug light post-show lunch, give back!"

[I'll buy you something, Grug. Trust me, this is way better for ratings. Light lunches notwithstanding, lets get back on track.]

"Fine. Grug sit ignoring big bearish lug, and he start to tell Grug story about village in middle of salt-water on small patch of land that even more plenty and friendly than his. Grug not say anything, but he go on, say how much pretty ladies, wonderful caves, much tasty food and hunt, rare hides, much special fruits and rocks to find. Grug tell him that all Drug droppings and Roc feathers, no land float on water."

Fishchuck laugh, say been there before, find beautiful Shellgather from there and bring her to his village after live on island for long time. Grug still think he blow smoke, but Fishchuck go inside, bring map of rock and water and stars. Grug ashamed to say Grug greed and naughty ways got him in trouble here."

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[Oh? Why would you say that?]

Grug blushes crimson, twiddling with the ends of his beard.

"Fishchuck have more than just weird map, he have drawing of thing he saw, talented drug he be. Fishchuck drawings of pretty ladies and loot he see get Grug in so much of bother Grug have to excuse himself. Grug end up needing to go in salt-water to cool off."

Banou chuckled joyfully while patting Grug consolingly on the back.

[You poor thing, I bet you were fired up with determination to get over your hate of salt-water boating after that. I can only imagine what Mugberta would have said if she'd found out you went to an island to carouse with carefree, sensuous island girls and discover "wondrous caves" all on your own, while she stayed at home bossing your company, swollen like a balloon.]

Grug paled significantly, looking up at Banou in shock.

"You a psychic, Banou? Grug not even tell you that. Please not read Grug mind, Grug already suffered enough from Mug. But Grug get ahead of story. Grug come back, all fire up and ready.

Fishchuck laugh at Grug, say it not possible to get to island with boats of tribe, too small boat and too far from the village. Grug snap back, say he build bigger boat. Fishchuck laugh again, say too far to row with big heavy boat and only Burlies to push, Sea-Folk need to gather for winter, is almost time for fish-dry and fish-bury.

Grug get real steamed, tell him he has way to make boat move without row. Fishchuck say Grug not know way to go and no Sea-Folk able to go with as guide, needed here. Grug realize being led by nose with angry feelings, and ask teaching on star map and food for Grug journey and care for Long-Snouts while gone, as payment for rough treatment. Fishchuck think for a minute, look very thunkful, and say okay, spit in hand and stick out hand. Grug spit in his hand and shake like pro diplomat Grug is.

[So, you talked yourself into it because Fishchuck made you angry enough to not care about the danger.]

Grug hung his head and rapped his knuckles on the table.

"Took Grug years to realize Grug was played, Fishchuck amazing chief. Grug end up agreeing, but still mad, so go off to preserving pit where leftovers of Grug mighty steed on water was. Grug get fit of pique and make much Grug-Water on shark, so when gone, Fishchuck eat and make weird face because of bad taste, make Grug chuckle. Little did Grug know, that how some tribes actually do their fish-dry."

Grug sighed mournfully.

[What, Grug?]

"Grug had to eat that shark on way home for weeks, sneaky Fishchuck. Grug spend next week looking for very big tree, smaller big tree and thick young trees for Grug idea. Grug notice that thin hides in wind tied strong, can pull out wood post back at Big Rock on high hill, lost lots of good pillow hides that way. Grug use big tree to sit Grug and Burly Riders, smaller big tree same hollow, for dried hunt and jerky and roc egg and fish, many bag of water for trip, then small thick trees for sticking together whole thing and for posts to tie hides to. Grug spend week after that having all wood get ready for the plan while Grug figure out how to get to stay together.

Fishchuck save Grug, show unpatented technique to stick together parts hard and dry with little wood peg and hammer rock and super-secret Whisker-Seal and squirrel squeezins "glue". Take another couple week to get all parts to fit, hides trimmed to fit, add biggest oar stick in village for turn-maker, and cover whole boat in glue.

But after all work? It done, and beautiful even if made by rookies. Grug and riders push down rolling logs into water, and with entire village come to see, Grug and Fishchuck shake hands and Grug tell Riders that it time to go. So we go, into Great-Water, lubbers all."

[And so, on that rousing note of exploration we leave you, dear viewers. Check in with us next time to find out the fate of Grug's extraordinary voyage over the Deep Blue Sea! This has been Banou Tzimitzkes and Grug Quicktalker, and this has been your Cave Report! So long!]