Grug wandered through the densely packed cubicles of Bouldercorp's Legal division, the hum and grunting of the industrious gorillas cheerimg him immensely. He continued to the far end of the floor, where a bout of intense brachiating had erupted in a spotless conference room. The sound took him back, the days of his own youthful bellowing seeming just like yesterday as he stood by the door of the conference room in a reverie of memories.
Authoritative grunting drowned out the cacophony as H'uh'aw'ook, his newly appointed Director of Legal Affairs, noticed his arrival. The elderly gorilla bowed deeply, smacking the heads of those slow to follow his lead.
"H'uh'aw'ook, how go getting stay removed? Doing show today, need go/no-go before crew come."
H'uh'aw'ook motioned the rest of the gorillas to their seats before deftly signing with a rapid-fire patter of empathetic gestures.
(Head Chief Grug, arbitration hand down final verdict. Show permission to go restored if comply with the condition of judges. Don't ask H'uh'aw'ook to get around it, he already tried. Beating up other lawyers not working either. )
"Get on with condition, suspense making Grug stomach gassy. Not have time to beat bushes."
H'uh'aw'ook nodded, resuming his signing.
(Grug not talk about anything else on island, especially who you see there and what they doing, wearing, not wearing, no talking about how you not allowed to talk. Make up some reason you got off quickly. It is not the truth, but that's how Grug get around this. This come from very top.)
"Grug not like lying. It not suit his upright moral stance of virtuous business Grug. But Grug good to his people, not put all crew out of job and disappoint Banou. So Grug agrees, under duress. Grug think of something, Grug promise it'll be better than truth."
H'uh'aw'ook nodded sagely, resting a consoling hand on Grug's shoulder and bumping his head into Grug's. Grug strode away towards the elevator, heading for the studio below. Behind him, the cacophony resumed in full vigor.
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Banou sat much as she had yesterday, nibbling a croissant amid the hustle and bustle of a stage set before showtime. She beckoned to the producer, and with a resigned look, the harried man made his way over.
"Any news about the stay? Grug hasn't come by yet with news, and anytime I call Legal, all I get is heavy breathing and the crunching of sunflower seeds."
The man looked conflicted, but unbent enough to speak.
"Mr. Grug called a few minutes ago and says he's on his way down to start the show. Word on the vine is that the arbitration is done and the stay was lifted on receipt of Mr. Grug accepting the conditions."
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[Conditions? What Conditions?]
Grug, entering the room with a purposeful stride, reached his chair and plopped down.
"Grug not get to talk about who he drink and sleep with on island, or what else Burlies did, we fast forward to end of stay."
[I can't say I like the control from above implied, but I think that may be the best choice. You know how people can get.]
"So, we ready to get things started?"
[Definitely, let's get this thing started. ]
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[Welcome back to the Cave Report! This is your host, Banou Tzimitzkes and my co-host, Grug Quicktalker.
We resume our story in a very strange place for a caveman to end up, a modern pool! Grug, will you continue from there?]
Grug nodded graciously and steepled his fingers.
" Grug and Burlies felt like choked down half the pool. When we looked around and saw the people and security, Grug made executive decision. Grug run/swim/choke like crazy with Burlies following for edge of pool, head for forest on other side of wall that not look too tough. Security running after us, try to lay hand on Nugzub, but he pick up guard and toss in pool and keep running.
After that, Grug put head down and charge wall with Burlies, breaking through wall with only light headache and bump on head. Grug run for what feel like hours, but probably only half hour."
Grug grimaced guiltily, smacking his noble paunch with a gnarled hand.
"Grug drink too much mash-water those days, make Grug fat and slow for caveman. Burlies make fun of Grug huffing and puffing, but eventually we lose security in depths of forest, thanks to sky getting dark and angry, spit rain. Free to rest, Grug and others sit around fire and talk plans of what next. Some want to try fight, some to leave.
Grug consider for a long time what to do, then remember that boat alive but damaged. Tell everyone about boat, and point out how trees can be used to fix boat, have enough food to get back but need more mash-water and water. Group decide to do little of both plans. First, Grug and sneaky Burlies would sneak into pool place ,and strong Burlies would start cutting trees in deep forest to fix boat and Nugzub lead rest to sneak and get boat.
Whole thing decided in 5 minutes, Grug not have anything to do for hours except pick nose and comb beard. Grug was very grateful when dark fall and most of wood is already ready for boat-fix."
[So, how did they cut down trees with no tools, and then, how did your mission go?]
"You know big rat with huge teeth and fat, wide tail?"
[A beaver?]
"Yes, that thing. One of Burlies, his name Chaknum, he raised by those. Teeth like hard granite, he chew tree down and others hold and help let tree down quiet and pull branches off. Grug mission wasn't as good and easy. Grug and 4 sneak Burlies get to town, see tons of security in pool place, so Grug have to change plans,and Grug goes to big building with food in windows instead. Grug knock on windows for long time, but place dark and empty.
So Grug break window and loud shrieking noise start right away. Grug knew time was short, so all rush inside and fill every bin can hold with food and drinks, but not much mash-water there. Grug hear shouting down street and wail of sirens, so get everyone and rush out. Grug spare you all details,but eventually got away. Grug was thrilled to see everything ready in the camp and boat almost ready to go right in time for a feast. Burlies ate and kept watches while others worked and Grug supervised from comfortable tree bed until things were ready for escape.
[And that seems like another good stopping point for our program! Final thoughts, Grug?]
"Grug not sleep while supervision happening, Grug just resting eyes. Want to make sure everyone knows. "
[There you have it folks! We're wrapping up today's episode of Cave Report, but we'll be back soon. This has been Banou Tzimitzkes and Grug Quicktalker, signing off!]