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Capitalist Cave- The Rise of Grug
12.Emergency Medicine for Grugs- On the Road again

12.Emergency Medicine for Grugs- On the Road again

[Coming back to where we left off yesterday, you were talking about charging through the Hill-House valley and out the other end after breaking up the Bellowers. What did you do next?]

"Grug and Burly Riders leave valley and have to slow down, mammoths get too hot, stop run and go to nearest water to cool off. Which good and all, but Grug and others still on them, not so good. Grug and riders pull bag and stuff off and fall off like that thing fall, on butt, cavemen well padded."

Grug points at a boring motivational poster hanging in the industrial blandness of the beige wall. It pictures a particularly large koala and the words "Know your Koal-ity".

"Grug and others get everything in time, but in unfamiliar country, so Grug make some Riders stand and look while Nugzub go get mammoths to get out of water. Grug look at map, know little about area beyond here, but know two way out. West, Grug go into different, long valley with Big-Heads villages, or other choice, South into flat land full of grass that Speaker say have people and hunt.

Grug thunk about West, but remember that Big-Heads Grug tribe smash probably from that valley, and they be missed by now. Now Grug not want get eat after uncomfortable questions not answered right, so cross off list. Grug thunk about South, not seen flat land like that before, but know that no Big-Heads that way, so Grug decide that way to go, spend little bit drawing way back so not get lost.

Nugzub still not back after while, so Grug go with Shagbuh to see what keeping him. Not halfway to creek, Grug come upon Long-Snout herd coming his way, wet and happy. Grug look around, no see Nugzub, but tell Shagbuh to take beasts back to camp. Grug think worst, Nugzub stomped or something, but turns out he just got used as toy by Long-Snouts."

Grug threw his shaggy head back and laughed uproariously.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

"He hanging, ass over pot on branch of tree, soaked to bone and look like he lose headbutt contest with billy-goat. Grug reach up, grab foot, and he fall to ground with thud when Grug pull. This first chance Grug get to try Speaker home remedy for waking on his own, so Grug excited a bit."

[Home remedy? Hopefully he was okay, some home remedies are kind of out there.]

Grug looked offended at the seeming questioning of his medical practices.

"Hmph. Grug tell you then. Grug reach into special sealed pouch for special marbles of Reek-bird dropping , famous for smell. Grug put marbles in nose, but Nugzub not wake. Grug take more serious measures, go over to creek for big rock and then lift to exactly one and half Grug heights, and drop rock on stomach. You should have seen marbles fly, many Grug's heights into the air before hitting in Nugzub nose as he yell like stubbed toe on granite.

He wake up, so Grug drag back to camp and throw on Long-Snout, now group behind Grug schedule, so Grug take lead, others follow. Grug decided to press on into night, just in case Bellowers follow, not know until later that all gone from the area. Burlies all grumbled, but Grug say leader best who walk quietly and carry big club. Waste time with whole business, let Grug tell you, not see even a Roc or antelope, just rock and tree and bush, little stream, need more good cave, Grug think. When Grug sto---"

An aide, prim and proper in beige businesswear and a burgundy tie ,strode over to Banou's chair, interrupting Grug's account. He spoke urgently, darting glances at the slightly miffed caveman. After a few curt gestures and inaudible words, Banou stood and straightened her blouse, looking disconcerted.

[Sorry Grug, I'll need to be the one bowing out today, family emergency. I hope you understand. ]

"Grug understand, you have Grug Sourberry phone number, give Grug a call if Grug can help in any way."

[Thank you, Grug, I'll remember. ]

As the two leave, Banou in the care of the aide, the now-familiar recording plays out tinnily in the background...

[That's all for today, folks! This has been Banou of Channel Big Rock, reporting live, interviewing the CEO of Bouldercorp, Grug Quicktalker. Signing off!]

With a barely audible mechanical click, the room is dark and silent once more.