...So Grug in prison. Not way Grug wanted to enter funtime island. But Grug good at fixing problems, very ugh-daptable."

Grug lit a match with a flick of his gnarled thumbnail. His face was hard-edged in shadow, the weak light leaving his surroundings a formless mass.

Grug inched along in the dark, cursing quietly as the match burned down to his fingertips. He struck another, then resumed speaking.

"So Grug do only thing that prisoners do. Only natural, and Grug an innocent man, though Burlies tough folk, may have paint out on. Grug escape. Now could ask Grug, "why go, Grug innocent, they free on good behavior."

Grug say ptooey, Grug busy merchant, not time in schedule for law speaking yap-yap. It moral of thing, if Grug stay, it like Grug real guilty, and Grug good at what does, only break law when not get caught."

"Grug suppose all wanting to know where Grug is. Grug use old Speaker's trick, because Grug not sure Grugself, normal to not dig while talk."

Grug spat on his hand, before gently rubbing it into the nearly formless wall , until watery light started to leak through it. Grug repeated the process several times before peering intently through the now translucent wall. He sighed gustily in disappointment.

"Grug over dumpster outside, not even half of way to studio, this escape no good, have to try another way. Remember, Grug expert merchant, not try this without Bouldercorp Grugging insurance unless you merchant. Next time Grug bring snack too, not even little skinny rat up here."

Grug turned towards the opposite wall, balled a callused fist, and firmly smote the wall on the other side. The 'wall' exploded outward in a shard of glass, and Grug deftly slid out of his newly created exit.

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[Grug. You know that the insurance doesn't cover intentionally damaging the building because you got bored of the documentary 'prison escape' intro.]

"It okay, Grug know guy with more clear-walls. Let's go to studio, have show to shoot regular."

The glass and gaping, jagged hole in the narrow conduit sat silently reflecting the receding back of Grug and Banou. They would not be salvaged today.

"So, get to real story again. Grug and Burlies in hoosegow, clank, da pen. All sad, naked, sand in itchy places. Guard and fat guy yell for long time, but just pick noses until leaves. After leave, cave instinct kick in."

[Cave instinct?]

"When member of Grug tribe get trapped in cave, cave brain make look for any way out, no matter what. So to make short and sweet, Grug and crew tear place up. Flushing water fountain? Pulled out. Metal door? Chewed on. Licked floor to check for weak spots. Turn out bad-smell tube go through floor under water fountain, so Grug and Burlies break bed and fountain, make dig tools.

It slow work, take whole hour, but after, Grug find no more floor in hole. Nice, sandy dirt and reedy plant hair instead. Grug and Burlies just start pulling hunks and arms full of stuff, throw against door until door hidden by pile and team down into ground over head. Under floor, Grug and Burlies keep shoveling out dirt, just going, see stuff in walls, shinies, old bones, more bad smell tubes.

Grug notice little later that dirt start clumping wet above head. After that, Grug and Burlies build conference room, send Nugzub back for chair pieces and top for table. Grug open meeting, ask if think out from under prison. Ignuz say should, and brothers agreed, but Hergrub say that may be under water, might drown in tunnel. Some others agree, and in end, all come to agreement to follow Grug's choice. Grug business sense tell him time wasting, so he say dig up.

[You built a conference room underground in an unventilated tunnel below a wet roof to discuss whether or not to dig through it? I'm not sure what OSHA would say.]

"Grug not care, that what UNGA for. UNGA better organization anyway. Anyway, Grug started dig up, and dirt got wetter, like mud. Grug keep digging and digging, until water falling on them until big splash and then noise like stepped on by Roc. Grug and Burlies find selves get sucked up through hole someway, Grug flung through dark tube, faster, faster Grug go until with POP, Grug go into air like bird."

[And that seems like a good place to stop today, Grug.]

"Why? Grug still got another half sun before Grug need to go."

[Because YOU own the building, and I have been informed that it's raining by the producer, and the only person who can sign the paperwork for the work order is YOU.]

"Grug have fun ONE time, be hip, cool, up with times, and what happen? More work."

Grug strode away muttering vociferously under his breath, snapping his fingers for a pen as he exited the studio.

[This has Banou Tzimitzkes and Grug Quicktalker with the Cave Report! See you again soon!]