Grug entered the now familiar room, this time carrying a new bag, its rich leather distended by the hidden contents. He sat down in the plush leather armchair, reaching again into his snack pocket and withdrawing several small pickled fieldmice tied together like sausage links.
"Want some? Grug make excellent pickled mice. Share one or two with Banou."
[I...I think I'm fine, Grug. Thank you though. Resuming our interview, I believe you were talking about the cavewomen coming to your defense?]
"Lucky break that was. Grug was surprised when he could move again but Grug is tough. Grug asked later why cavewomen help him. Speaker told Grug that it none of Grug's business and hit him in head with bone of old hunt. This time, Grug decided to think about it hard, come up with reasons.
Cavewomen not any nicer than Cavemen to Grug normally, Grug had to steal from all to live over years in hard winter time. So Grug made a test, see if "none of Grug's business" was really the answer. He went to Big Cave, which was a part of Big Rock. Then Grug went to Big River, where the hide wash and fish hunt are. Next, Grug went through the edge of Dark Forest, to where the gather of the cavewomen is in Sunny Meadow."
Grug shuddered and put the last two fieldmice back in his snack pocket.
"Never got over not liking Dark Forest. Brother Bear, Sister Wolf live in Dark Forest, but they not good siblings very often. They not like Grug taking rabbits and squirrels and honey either.
Anyway, Grug went to the Meadow, talked to gather-folk. They tell Grug same thing as hide washer and fish hunters. Grug was disheartened, nobody was telling Grug anything. After that, Grug wandered back on his way to Big River, until Grug ran into Mugberta."
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[Mugberta? Who was she?]
"Mushroom catcher. She about as popular as Grug before only-shiny days, since she brought back bad mushrooms one time. Big mess, people licking floor of cave, cave painters painting picture of Unghred sideways, looked like spotted hippo."
[What happened next?]
"Grug asked her same question, she say they help Grug because if Grug not making only-shiny on a rope, nobody else in tribe can make them. Only Grug knew how. Grug ask 'why only-shiny so important, can't eat, can't throw, can't cut.' Mug say it make them feel special, and that worth giving extra hunt for."
Grug leaned back in his chair, steepling his thick fingers.
"That was when Grug learned the next rule of sell. 'Have person who tell what real reason for situation is.' Not short, not cute buzzing word, but true. My nook in Big Cave was full of hunt and gather and other food, so I tell Mug, 'No more gather mushroom for tribe, Grug give hunt to you, you follow me and tell what real deal be. We have deal?'"
[What was her answer?]
"She step on Grug foot, grab his ear, and say she want half of Grug's hunt and gather. Grug tell her no chance. She kick Grug in knee, Grug pull her hair and call her boar sow. She trip Grug and splatter his Red-Water over his face, make hole in his head. Grug say one in four, no shiny, knees her in belly. She say one in two, first dibs, and half shiny. Grug threw her off, but Grug head was fuzzy, because Grug offered one in two, with one in four shiny."
Grug looks down modestly, toying with his magnificent beard.
"That be how i met my first mate and best employee. She tumbled my nook and made bedrock quiver. What woman was she, good days we had. Passed to Great Spirit Rock last hot summer. Took Grug til last cold winter to figure out how she beat me, canny mushroom gatherer."
Grug smiles fondly, before reaching down and opening his bag. Reaching within, he pulled out a massive sheaf of stone tablets, each with graven pictures of an imposing, gloriously rotund cavewomen with a rat's nest hairstyle .
"You keep these, use for documentary. Interview done for now, Grug go visit Mug headstone."
[Well folks, I guess thats all for today! This has been Banou of Channel Big Rock, reporting live, interviewing the CEO of Bouldercorp, Grug Quicktalker. Signing off!]