[So Grug, we've been focusing on your origins mainly, can you tell us about how a new hire at your company would go through the first day of work?]

"Sure Grug can, Grug and Mug very proud of work train program. Grug tell what it like at beginning, Bouldercorp hire same as Big Rock do now."

Grug leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling and stroking his beard.

"First thing do at training is size test. Need check to see if can fit any of old helmet on head for Roc herder job. Liner expensive, chisel granite not easy cutting."

[Isn't that dangerous?]

"Cuttgha, cut liner for us, say it okay. In field though, we start take out of hunt pay first few herds after Mug test out. Old helmet too small? Make herder act weird, make head funny shape. Old helmet too big? Fall off on toe, then UNGA say he not able to work no more, his toes gone.

If not for Roc-herd, Grug train for finding only-shiny in deep cave and Big River, get reeds, make rope. Grug company also provide class in health. That because Grug ask Mug one day where all workers be going and not coming back. Mug say that they eat only hunt, no mushrooms or roc egg, then they explode after week or two. Grug ask why problem, Grug did same and was still hungry enough to eat rocks, and Grug not explode."

[You were eating...rocks? Like actual R-o-c-k rocks?]

"Were tasty, but only certain kind, Grug has one if you want see one."

Grug reached into his snack pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a lumpy, grey-brown rock of about palm size and hands it to Banou.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

[Grug? This is a potato. These aren't rocks, they're a root vegetable.]

Grug shrugged idly, accepting the potato back graciously, before taking a large bite and chewing thoughtfully.

"Grug always wondered why other rock not taste as good. Grug find these in rock holes where he get shiny-hiders from, so thought were rocks. More Grug know, as kids say. Anyway, Grug ask Mug help him find way to stop explode of workers, UNGA getting mad and Grug spending all time do OOK papers for family."

[OOK papers? What are those?]

"Outside, Overhead, or Killed benefit paper. Cost Grug bundle to get tribe council on side with, hunter have to hunt more and some hunter don't like Roc eggs for hunt pot."

[So, what happened with Mugberta's test?]

"She find if stuff po-ta-toe in craw, punch worker in head until swallow, he not explode, he go and have a fruitful Grugging session. Also, if no po-tae-toe available, Nungle Root work too. She test that on me, hurt Grug craw something awful, good thing Nungle root taste okay."

[How did you adapt that to training?]

"Was pretty easy. Grug stand in front of new guys. Grug look at them, say "Grug not want root shoved in throat again, so Grug here to tell you about root-eat. Good for you. Keep hunt from making you explode. Many good-feel stuff in it. Workers eat root or Mug shove root in craw, very hurtful. You now official workers for Grug, go to work or Grug and Mug whack with Roc-stick." Grug would get standing applause every time, they say great speech. Never had explode workers after that."

[So it was all on the job training by their coworkers? You didn't give them classroom training?]

"Grug horrible at Roc-herding and the gatherers much better at rope teaching than Grug, so Grug outsource. Mug too busy in office and workshop to train dumb know-nothing rookies after first ones. Grug checked up on many companies on Rock-puter, even Banou's. Looks like Big Rock steal training page from Grug book, might need to talk with Banou's management about trade secret steal."

Banou appeared both mortified, amused, and slightly perturbed. She blushed and attempted to respond several times, before sighing and putting a hand on her forehead, before covering her eyes.

[...And that's all we have time for today, folks...This has been Banou of Channel Big Rock, reporting live, interviewing the CEO of Bouldercorp, Grug Quicktalker. Signing off!]