The Kings dark face didn’t waver. He gave them all a long look, then seemed to make a final decision.
“Were it under any other circumstances I’d lock you in this prison and hand you over to him without hesitation. I’m bound to the High Council's decrees and this Kingdom doesn't need a diplomatic situation. There's no way word of the demise of a phase arachnid doesn’t make its way back to Gervais. It probably already has. It's probably why he’s here."
"I will go now to meet Gervais. While I’m meeting him, my honoured guests will mysteriously slip away during dinner. I will have no indication of how they escaped or where they went."
"Indeed." said the White Orc simply.
He turned on Gob, and his pent up infuriation was let loose. "Why the COUNT?! Of ALL the things! ALL the things you could have asked for. Why that? Why HIM?"
"we iz frends" answered Gob.
"You're FRIENDS?!" the King sputtered, "You're friends with an ancient deadly vampire count who has been locked away in an inescapable prison for over two centuries? What, did you go there and have a nice chat and a cup of tea with him and break him out?"
Gob nodded "but no tee. he is ony eeting ratz and spidas now."
The King actually blanched, noticeable even in the dim red light of the prison.
He let out a breath, shook his head slowly and rubbed his face.
"You know Troll, for some reason I can't even fathom, I actually believe you. You've just got a very strong sense of.. something... about you... I don't know..."
"FATE!" they all chorused together. Except Leőn, who just shook his head in disappointment.
The King looked around at them strangely before he continued,
"You know this sounds like it would be a story just as interesting as the tale of you defeating the phase spider... except that you don't want to EAT this one, you just want me to hand him over to you to... what exactly? Unleash him back onto my people? I can't abide it! I don't even want that disgusting Count in here under lock and key! It creeps me out that the thing is in our Kingdom at all... and in my own halls! He just turned up here, unexpected, assumably because my Grandfather was an obsessive TrapWright who bore the deepest grudges of any Dwarf King before him and wanted to be sure the creature couldn't waggle his way out of it like he probably has been doing for millennia! No! You've pushed me into a corner that I can't manoeuvre out of. I'll grant you that I can't destroy it, and I WOULD if I could, but what King would ever GIVE AWAY a legendary heritage enemy who has destroyed thousands of his Kin... to a TROLL?"
"A King who found the ultimate solution is who." said Leőn quietly, stepping forward, his head down thoughtfully. The King looked at him questioningly.
Leőn looked up at the King with a mischievious glint in his eye.
"What would befit a King more than to entrust the disposal of his Kin's GREATEST enemy to the same hero who rid him of it's other greatest enemy? It makes perfect sense, and you even have the means at your disposal right now."
Leőn handed him a quill pen, which the King reflexively accepted.
"You need to formalise it as a Quest. What about this: Gob must "Deliver the Vampire Count into... let's say... eternal... preservation." Who would deny you? Your own people wouldn't: On completion of the Quest you have rid them of the enemy of their Kin. And you are still as good as your word: you promised Gob anything, and you granted it. By the way, you should never offer a Troll whatever he wants again. It could actually have gone so much worse even than this."
"Careful Elf. You have my attention," he pointed the feathery end of the pen at Leőn threateningly, "but don't lecture me in a prison under my own halls."
"Fair." said Leőn.
"But what of Gervais and the Chancellor?" the King queried, stroking his beard and absently flicking the quill against his cheek.
"You've heard the Decree I take it?"
"Of course."
"Do you think the High Chancellor is fool enough to raise a diplomatic ruckus out of your very sensible and circumstantially supportable decision to rid the Dwarf Kingdom of a VAMPIRE? Entrusted by the oversite of an Elf, and a Bright Fairy and their party? On the contrary, it should be an EXAMPLE of you upholding the High Council's declaration! They want to CLEANSE the deep places of the evil under our feet! In fact, you should pen a letter and GIVE it to Gervais and entrust HIM to deliver it in person to the Chancellor boasting about it! You even formalised it through the Spheraxis with a binding Quest! They'll be able to verify that."
The King considered that, and nodded. "You know for an Elf you're quite dark."
Leőn bowed, "At your service your Majesty."
"And what about Gervais?"
Leőn shrugged and smirked, "Feed him, lodge him, and send him back to Azure City with his tail between his legs."
The King gave Leőn a look through narrowed eyes, then turned to Gob. "Do you agree to deliver the Count far far from here, to... what did the Elf say... into 'eternal preservation'? Will you accept this Quest, knowing the implication on your own personal progression if you fail it? I can't even define for you what 'eternal preservation' is... the Spheraxis will determine if and when the Quest is complete."
"iz good. i can do woteva it say." said Gob.
"Do you have a token?" asked the King solemnly.
Gob looked at him blankly.
"Your scroll, Gob. Give the King your scroll." said Kylie
"wy?' said Gob suspiciously.
"Because he's going to do a King thing" said Leőn.
Gob handed it over to the King who unrolled it and, leaning against the stone wall, wrote on it with a feather quill pen he pulled from somewhere:
Quest:Deliver the Vampire Count into eternal preservation. Signed Domain:Thunderguard(1752)
"Only a ruler with a Domain:(>1500) can bestow Quests" said Leőn as the King wrote it. "You should know it's binding."
"i git it." said Gob. "where ze cont?"
The King led them to the furthest corner of the prison, disarming the rune grid as they went. On a raised dias, surrounded by an even more complex rune barrier was the Count's sarcophagus. The deep black of the stone didn't reflect any of the red light of the rune barriers. It was just solid black.
The King took a deep breath and disarmed the barrier.
"Don't wake it," he said with a shudder, "Just take it."
The sarcophagus disappeared.
"Is he in there?" Kylie asked Gob.
Gob checked:
Loot: +1arcanevampiresarcophagus
"he in der" said Gob.
The King, looking very nervous, led them back out into the passage. The guard had returned, and with him now was another Dwarf. He was a particularly short, thick individual with a jet black beard and a large set of goggles that looked as thick as bottle glass. His eyes looked extremely large, and he beathed fussily.
"This is Rubikus." said the King, "He’s my Royal Master TrapWright. He is a genius. He builds the most fiendishly difficult traps, and also dismantles them when my explorer teams go exploring. He’s going to accompany you to speed you on your way to the Mountain door. Believe me when I tell you you'll never get through it without him."
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Leőn looked unimpressed, like he was going to say something but thought better of it. Instead he took a deep breath then reached out a hand to the King, who took it and shook it reflexively.
“I never thought I would say this, and I may deny it later, but you are a fine King. Your Kingdom Under Thunderguard is impressive, and well might we Elves do to understand you a little better. If you should find yourself in the Darkwood, call out my name and you’ll find friends. Suspicious, dubious ones, but friends nevertheless. Also, your dessert platters are to die for. And I stole three barrels of the wine you served me.”
The King, clearly surprised, patted his arm as he shook it. All of a sudden his affability returned to him. “May I never find myself in any forest ever for any reason!" He boomed heartily “But my thanks, you and your party have done us Dwarves such a great service, and Ho! but we never know where this life will take us. And the wine was an unwanted gift from the personal cellars of Cianzar, the High Elf Prince of Rhiannar. I don't drink the stuff anyway!"
The King turned and nodded to the White Orc who had been unusually quiet most of the time they had been in the Dwarf Kingdom. The White Orc nodded back.
The King turned to Kylie. “Look after this one.” He gestured to Gob “There is indeed a strong whiff of fate about him.”
“There's a strong whiff of a lot of things about him.” she answered with a smile.
The King finally turned and bowed again to Gob “Take care Troll. Remember, the Thunder Mountain owes you a debt, and we don’t forget, even to the ends of the ages. Also, if that Vampire ever returns I will personally hunt YOU down.”
“yoo iz got da bezt food i eva eet. i come bak wun day for dinna.”
The King laughed “Thats the sprit! And, you’re always welcome! Ho!” and with that he turned and walked away up the passage.
Rubikus simply said “Follow me” and lead them along a side passage into another downward sloping passage beyond.
----------------------------------------
“Well," said Rubikus, "there's physical traps, you see they're the ones everyone's expecting to find, you know, blades and crushing and fire and acid and collapsing floors, crushing ceilings, and whatnot. Really they're beginners traps of course, simple triggers, runic protections or weighted stones. I mean every dungeon has the physical traps, it's a sort of right of passage, pardon the pun, but then you've got the mental traps, and that's where they get a little more advanced, and a little more interesting, and they're a bit more of a challenge of course, as you told me already, young master Gob here figured out one of my first favourites, the 2x2 Rubikus cube, I designed that mechanism myself when I was but a young apprentice, very smooth very light on the perception of movement, is got an anti momentum counterbalance and a rotational gravity array built in, I put that together stone, runes and all... my Master was very proud of me at the time for that one, “Roob” he said, because he used to call me 'Roob' you see, many of them did back in the day, afore I was made the Royal Master TrapWright, because a Royal Master TrapWright can't be called 'Roob', so it's all very right and proper Rubikus now, though it makes me think more of being in trouble in my younger years that does than being a Royal Master TrapWright, though I suppose I've gotten a bit used to it now, it having been about fifty year since I was made the Royal Master TrapWright you see, but “Roob” he said back then “Roob, this counter-momentum-anti-gravitational mechanism is a work of mechanical genius my young apprentice, 'You Roob', he said ‘You Roob, will go far with your traps’ he said, and I guess he was right and all, me being made Royal Master TrapWright after all that and he was a very old Dwarf by then but he still came to the Grand Ceremony of Mastery and he was there in the front row proud as a TrapWright could be of his apprentice, mark my words he was, and he was right too because the real challenge in traps isn't the physical traps and it isn't even the mental traps, the real challenge for the TrapDwarves, that's our collective common name that is, TrapDwarves, just differentiate us a bit from the TrapWrights of the other Archetypes you know because Dwarves aren't the only peoples that be making traps as you no doubt understand, but we do like to set ourselves apart for the quality and the ingenuity and the efficacy and the complexity of our traps of course, but no the real challenge is in the SPIRIT traps…”
They had been walking now for hours straight, and the Dwarf had not stopped talking once.
Leőn had disappeared ahead at one point and Rubikus had paused his monologue just long enough to call him back to warn him that going off ahead wasn't the best idea ‘on account of the traps’. Not that Gob remembered seeing any. He had been expecting more swishtings and ker-thumps, but unless Rubikus was doing something none of them could see him doing, the only drain on their collective health had been his droning voice.
Leőn had since retreated back down the passage, dropping behind them far enough to be out of earshot to ensure at he couldn't hear the Dwarf's constant rambling. Leőn had very good hearing though, Gob doubted he could be far enough away that it was working.
Kylie appeared to be asleep on Gob's head, although he had never known her to sleep before, which may have been a pretence on her part or else a testament to the ability the Master TrapWright had to lull potential trappee's into a state of comatosis. The White Orc had been walking along reading a book. ‘Researching ethereal anti-matter glands’ he had said.
“Here we are then” said the dwarf, stopping walking and talking abruptly. Kylie stirred and the White Orc looked up from his book.
“This” whispered the dwarf with a bow “This is my magnum opus. My piece de resistance. My most fiendishly difficult trap.”
He cleared his throat loudly and stood up straight. “THIS is a spirit trap.” He seemed to be waiting for some kind of acknowledgement. Leőn caught up with them "Oh thank the heavens, please tell me we're here!"
"We get a lot of unsavoury intruders from the mountain passes, and it's a long way away from Thunderguard," said Rubikus,
"You can say that again." said Leőn.
"I said we get a lot of unsavoury intruders from the mountain passes, and it's a long way away from Thunderguard," repeated Rubikus.
Leőn rubbed his face to prevent himself from saying anything. The White Orc chortled.
"What I mean is, the trap needs to be robust, low maintenance and failsafe. And, well… effective. Only a Dwarf of Thunderguard can pass through unaffected, there are powerful runes in here that will read you like a book and turn your soul inside out... or would if I didn't fiddle with them a bit. I wrote the runes myself as you no doubt can imagine. They're very, very strong. The exit from the Dwarf Kingdom to the mountain pass is just through there.” he gestured to a door at the end of a very short corridor only a few steps away from where they stood. “Now, I can dismantle the trap enough to let you through, BUT it is still going to be a little… screwy.”
The White Orc looked at the Dwarf hard. “What do you mean by ‘screwy’?” he asked suspiciously.
Well, look,” said the Dwarf, “You'll get from here to there unharmed, no doubt about it. But it will be… strange. You'll feel strange things. I call it the ‘Spirit Mirror’, I came up with that name myself mind you, I think you'll all appreciate it, once you've had a go through... don't worry mind, I've turned it right down low for you. So it's only going to be a little bit… wiggy.”
“A little bit wiggy?” said Leőn “Why can't you just turn it off for a couple of minutes Dwarf? Aren't you the Royal Master TrapWright?”
“Well, my good Elf, these runes don't really work like that… it's...ah... well, it's complicated.”
“Try me, Dwarf!” said Leőn, eight hours of repressed boredom starting to bubble to the surface.
Gob stepped forwards into the short passage.
He walked to the door and opened it, buffeted by the freezing cold air and sleety snow of the mountain pass. He seemed to be OK. He turned and waved to the others, but the passage and the door were gone.
He turned around again, confused and came face to face with… himself.
Himself but bigger!
The mountain pass was a narrow trail carved in to side of the rock of the mountain, teetering on the brink of a deep precipice, the bottom of which was lost in fog and sleet. Across from him, only partially obscured by the clouds was another mountain ridge. His other self stood there, across the chasm, looking smug, his hands on his hips, nearly as tall as the mountain itself.
“HA! HA! HA!” He laughed at himself with a great bellowing rumble that shook the mountain slopes, “LOOK HOW SMALL YOU STILL ARE!”
Gob fumbled with his inventory and pulled out his flask, nearly dropping it as he tried to unlatch it hurriedly. He would prove to himself how big he could be!
He took a deep swig and felt his body swell to be bigger than the him across the valley. He leapt across the chasm, landing with a crash that made the mountains rumble and an avalanche start to cascade down the mountain below him. But the other him was gone. He looked around. Back from where he had just leapt, up above the mountain pass, at the peak of that mountain, he stood.
A version of him twice his already incredible size.
“HA! HA! HA!” He laughed at himself with a great bellowing rumble that shook the mountain range to its roots, “LOOK HOW SMALL YOU STILL ARE!”
Gob swigged again and grew even greater and mightier, with a great lunge he jumped to the peak of the mountain, smashing the solid rock of the summit with a resounding
Crack!
But he was gone. Gob turned to see himself astride the mountain ranges, one foot on the grassy slopes of the Realm and the other on the barren wastes of the Shadowlands beyond.
“HA! HA! HA!” He laughed at himself with a great bellowing rumble, that caused an earthquake on both sides of the mountain “LOOK HOW SMALL YOU STILL ARE!”.
Gob drank again and as he swelled, he also placed a foot upon the Realm and another in the Shadowlands. But he was gone. And now he caught site of himself in the sky, standing upon the moon with his hands on his hips.
“HA! HA! HA!” He laughed at himself with a great bellowing rumble that shook the planet, “LOOK HOW SMALL YOU STILL ARE!”
Gob drank and drank, and lifted a gargantuan leg to step onto the moon. He turned to see himself in the great beyond. A celestial creature of the cosmos, treading upon the galaxies. He was back! He was in the void, just as he had been only yesterday, striding through eternity--
And then he was back shivering on the mountain pass, looking back through the door. Kylie was giving him a questioning thumbs up signal asking if he was OK? Leőn was still bickering with the Dwarf. His tummy heaved and he suddenly had the sick feeling again. He gave Kylie a weak smile and returned the thumbs up. She flew forwards.
He suddenly had to reach out and catch her. She collapsed in tears in his hands screaming "I CAN GET BACK! I CAN I CAN I CAN! I'M NOT DEAD IM NOOOOOOOOOOOOT DEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAaaaaadddddddd…"
The White Orc came next. He stepped forwards looking like his usual stoic self, however only an instant later threw himself out of the door with a savage snarl. He bared his sharp teeth, his red eyes flicking around him dangerously, crouching in a wild and aggressive stance looking as though he would rip to shreds the next living creature he saw. Startled, Gob covered up Kylie protectively, but it didn't come to that. The Orcs eyes widened as he looked down at his own hands as if they were covered with blood but turned them over and back again realising where he was. He breathed out a long rasping breath and slumped down with his back to the stony face of the mountain.
Leőn strode out casually. They all looked at him in surprise. Kylie, who had now recovered somewhat asked “Are you… OK?"
Leőn smirked “Well, I tried to manipulate and swindle my other self, but I'm much better than I am at knowing what I'm up to. I never stood a chance against me.”
Rubikus looked out from the doorway “See? That wasn't so bad then, eh? What did you think of my Spirit trap, it's pretty good craftsmanship isn't it? If I do say so-” Leőn slammed the door on him.
There was a muffled “Humph. You can't please those Elves can you, just like my old master used to say, ‘Roob' he used to say, ‘Roob, look out for them Elves’ he used to say…” the voice shuffling away down the tunnel.