The Count's idea involved using Gob as a magical smuggler.

Over the last two hundred and twenty two years he had, of course, dug tunnels outwards from the cavern in all different directions to the extent he was able, testing the boundaries of the 'prison' the dwarves had made for him.

He asked Gob 'in vich divection' Goblin Town was, and took them through the most relevant of his tunnels to a point at which it stopped dead. The sides of the tunnel were natural stone that the Count had dug through by hand, but where the tunnel stopped was a shaped block the same as the blocks the original dwarf tunnel and shaft had been made of.

He showed them what happened if he tried to touch the stone block. He reluctantly held out a finger and poked it gently. Although there was no indication that anything about it was special, his finger sizzled and hissed, and he cried out in pain. There was some sort of something there that he couldn't even touch, let alone pass through.

"You cannot imagine how excited I vas ze day I got ze tunnel to zis point, und how devastated I vas to find out I could go no furzer." He said shaking his head "Ah but zat vas Vun hundved und tvelve years und ten monz's ago now. But I hev never recovered."

Gob touched the same spot with no reaction at all. The Count nodded sagely.

"I hev tried zis viz rats also" he said. "It is only affecting me.

"What is it?" asked Kylie intrigued, "you called it a barrier before, but it wouldn't be magical if dwarves made it…"

"You are correct. I sink," he replied hopelessly, "but I hev no vay to really know. I suspect ze dwarfies barrier is runic, und I suspect ze runes are attuned to sunlight, und oppose ze night affinity, because ze burning sensation does feel very much like ze horrible sunlight feeling. Und it is in every direction." He gestured in a circle around them,

"I hev tunnelled zis vay und zat vay, upvards und downvards. I hev a higher digging stat zan ze dwarfies by now I sink! But it iz alvays zere, stopping my tunnels. BUT!", he said it triumphantly, his index finger poking the air for emphasis, "I sink, in fact I em qvite sure, zat IF you are villing, IF you can put me into your inventory, zen maybe… MAYBE… IF fate is viz us, zen I will be able to pass srough ze barrier."

Gob was happy enough with that and nodded.

Kylie looked at The Count surprise. "In the inventory?!" she exclaimed.

"Living things don't go into inventories… oh." she stopped.

"Very good Frauline Kylz!" He had taken to calling her Kylz after Gob, "you got zere all by yourself!"

Gob hadn't caught on and looked at Kylie, confused.

"The Count is a vampire" she pointed out. He isn't technically 'alive'"

She looked back to the Count "Do you know of any vampire that's actually tried this?" She asked

"Vell… no."

"And you're really sure you want to?

"Absolutely Frauline. I em unlikely to hev more visitors in ze next two hundred and tventy—"

"Two years and four months, yes I know." she finished for him. "And fair enough. I think I'd take a chance in it too I'd I were in your position."

"Zere are maybe two problems:

I suspect ze dwarfies vould hev put some sort ov… back up in place. You know, een case I tried anysing… sneaky. Maybe zey put a debuff. Or a trick… like a transmogrification. Or a trap… like zat extra room full of dynamite you found! Ze dwarf Rune Wright's can be very tricky. But I sink ze main sing zat matters is, vell, YOU.

Vezer YOU are sure you vant to be helping ME… not zat I vant you to change your plans on my account, BUT," he was hesitant for the first time since they had met him.

Gob and Kylie both looked at him, waiting for him to continue. He took a bit of time, but awkwardly finished,

"But vezer… it's… ahhh… vezer it's… socially responsible. To be aiding un vampire in breaking out of un perfectly secure prison? Vezer you actually vant to help me?"

"yoo no eet me" Gob answered immediately "an iz fun to hav conva-say-shuns! so yoo is nic vampir."

"Oh bless your leetle cotton socks Gob. But I must protest. I em qvite a horrid vampire. I hev done some terrible, terrible sings. And I may do zem again. Or, I may go und find un beautiful tropical beach to bask in ze moonlight and live out my days. Probably not zough."

"i iz a trol…." said Gob simply, "so i don car bout dat sort of fing. an we iz frends. wot abot yoo kylz?"

"Well it's nice of you to ask Gob. but I'm your familiar… so I don't get a say. I'm not sure that you really understand this dynamic yet." she answered.

"i giv yoo say" he said back.

"Oh. Oh. Right." she looked perplexed, "I've been a familiar so long now I… I don't really know. I mean, we're lucky to have even got this far. If The Count wasn't here, we would still be stuck, or crushed, or eaten by cave bats. If the Count was here and wasn't friendly, we would be dead… well you would at least, you've already seen what happens when you try to eat me…"

"You ATE her?" said The Count to Gob incredulously.

"Twice actually." she grinned at Gob, "It was early on in our relationship, we were still feeling out the boundaries. He's a much better troll now, aren't you Gob?"

Gob growled and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Vell, Kylz," said The Count to her "Ze blood sucking murder batman vonts to get out of ze cave zat ze noble leetle dwarfies has locked heem in for…" he looked at her with a smirk, "hundveds of years. Are you cool viz zis?"

"Well, two years ago, no way. Not a chance. I was a self-righteous, naive, sentimental human teenager. Based on the only applicable insights I had then, which were angsty vampire romance movies, I would have said I'll let you out if you promise to become a vegan vampire. Or something. This world's not like that. The motto of The Realm is ALL MAY PROGRESS. But this Realm is a place ruled by powerfully lopsided, unbalanced individuals who oppress the weak for their own progression and call themselves 'noble' for it. How the High Council sees things, it should be more like 'all may progress who we say so'."

"Zen leetle has changed since I vas trapped" observed the Count.

"Yes, except based on what Gervais was getting involved with before I ended up here, I would say they're planning some sort of 'cleanse' to get rid of 'savage-kind' as they call it. I don't agree. If ever I told that to Gervais he just 'shushed' me. So yeah," Kylie said, feeling good about having her say and feeling confident about making a decision,

"We're cool."

The Count bowed to her. "Sank you Kylz, and sank you Gob. It is important, NO! essential for zis plan zat you vant me to come viz you. It's somsing to do viz fate, or maybe luck, or purpose, or feelings... it's complicated."

"so we go?" asked Gob

"Let's do it!" said The Count. He looked excited. And nervous.

They walked back up the tunnel to the great hall. The Count explained on the way that for this to have the highest chance to work, he would have to be mostly dead, which he was quite capable of doing as needed, and was definitely more effective when his coffin was involved. He led them to the dias at the end of the great hall and climbed into his deep black stone sarcophagus.

"It should simply be un matter of popping zis whole sing into your inventory and carrying me srough ze tunnel.

"ok. zap it kylz." said Gob.

"Vait!" said The Count, "Ummm... in case zis does not vork, I vould like you to know somesing Gob."

Gob looked at him intently.

"I sink zat zere is somesing important about vot ze voice has said to you: IF YOU'RE NEVER ALIGNED VIZ ANYSING, ZEN YOU CAN ALVAYS BE UNALIGNED VIS EVERYSING. I hev been sinking about zis a lot. Zis is much like an ancient cultivation practice. Zere vere powerful creatures zen - but fewer. Some elves, some ozers. Even vampires. But zese days zere seems no place for ze 'long road'... zere are many powers, but not greater powers. Maybe... maybe ze longer road is ze stronger road? Perhaps zis road is lost because alignment is so fundamental to 'straightforvard' progression. Perhaps vhat Ze Realm needs is ze right individual to come along to break again ze barriers of convention zat ze powerful few hev constructed. Or, perhaps zat voice is zat individual and has discovered somesing… und has been waiting for ze right troll to come along zat he can show it to. You hev a chance here Gob. To go so much beyond ze extents zat zis Realm vill try to put on you. Try to go zere. Try to never take ze easy road. Take only ze road zat leads to vere you know you need to go." He placed his hand over his heart.

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"I hev met many trolls… Vell, I hev, excuse me, eaten many trolls. Let me tell you Gob, zere are not many trolls like you. It might be zat YOU vill be able to show ze Realm vot it really means to be a… vot did you call it Frauline Kylz? Savage-kind? Indeed. Show zem ze balance Gob."

He lay down in the sarcophagus, and with a cheeky smile and a wave of his long spindly fingers said

"Ta Ta!"

With a

Grrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaatttte-thunk.

The stone on stone sarcophagus lid slid closed.

Pop! Zap!

It was gone into inventory.

"he iz in der?" asked Gob.

Kylie brought up the glowing blue shapes of the inventory.

"Yep, he's in there."

They made their way back down the tunnel, and reaching the end stone Gob

STCHAK! STCHAK! STCHAK! STCHAK!

the stone, sitting out sparks from his pigiron claws that were by now getting very strong. They broke through the stone quickly and Gob pushed through into the darkness of the tunnel beyond.

----------------------------------------

GERVAIS.

Announcements by The High Council were conducted discretely and on a small scale whenever the subject of the announcement was likely to be unpopular, contentious or politically sensitive.

Today's announcement had been heralded far and wide for days prior to ensure all the most distinguished guests would be present, and allow time for the significant preparations the city would need to make in order to accommodate the throngs of common people who would be attracted to the planned festivities. This announcement was not a discrete one. The High Council wanted a fuss.

Azure City, from above, looked roughly circular, having been built originally on the crest of a wide, gently sloping hill and then expanding outwards and down the hill as the population grew. Around the base of the hill ran the Skywater, named for its milky blue, mineral rich water that looked the exact colour of a bright summer sky. The local stone quarries produced a white chalky stone that gave most of the city a light bright appearance. Over the years the white stone buildings of the city had expanded down towards the water, covering over the original green grass of the hillside, so that now, on a clear day, when approached from a distance, the city on the hill gave the impression of a cloud hovering between azure sky above and azure water below.

At the top of the hill was a grand palace complex with five prominent spires that reached tall and straight towards the sky. The central spire housed the lodgings and throneroom of King Charlie VII, and surrounding it were the spires of the Bright College, the Barracks of the Heroic Chapter, The Administratum, and the Tower of The High Council. The spires each were a feat of exceptionally well aligned crafting; The Spire of the Bright College had multi-faceted walls and many angular mini towers branching from the main spire like forks of lightening expanding upwards into the air. The Heroic Chapter had blocky, sensible and outrageously large turrets. The Administatum was the most organised and symmetrical building The Realm had ever seen. The High Council spire was a powerfully straight rod, the tallest of the five spires.

The whole of Azure City was beautiful, well designed, amenable and most important of all, perfectly aligned.

Inside the most spacious, most gratuitous, luxurious and showiest of the spires, the central spire, King Charlie VII stood in front of a mirror, turning first to one side then the other in order to examine his profile from each angle.

"Does it look positively regal?" He asked no one in particular.

"Oh yes"

"Positively"

"Magnificent"

"Oustanding"

Answered everyone in particular.

"It's always important to look the part you know. I have a pivotal role today. I shall be introducing today's announcement."

"Oh, your Majesty tell us about the announcement!" asked a courtier excitedly.

"Well you know I can't possibly do that." answered the King still looking at his reflection.

He was telling the truth, though not in the way his courtiers thought. The fact was, the King of Azure City had no idea what the announcement was. The High Council was like that. It worried him. But not enough to worry about it.

He turned and strode from the hall out into the bright light, to address the rowdy crowd before him.

TAARAAAAAN TAARAAAAAAAAAAA!

TA TA-TA TA-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

HOOOOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAYYYY!

The trumpets blasted, and the crowds packed around the steps leading up to the Spire of The High Council cheered in delight.

It had been a fantastic day and the masses were in a festive mood. The weather was fine, warm and sunny, the markets had been packed with plentiful food, the taverns overflowing with drink. The City had funded civic decorations to ensure every street and square looked resplendant, as well as a wide range of activities, street performers and parades in the lead up to this moment.

And the great King Charlie was here. The people unanimously agreed there had never been a King who had done a better job of looking the part.

He wasn't an especially tall man, but what he lacked in height he made up for in style. Today he wore a seemingly simple suit of white cloth with gold stitching, but it was anything but simple. It was a triumph of MATERIAL and ASPECT Wrightship; it was sunlight, pure gold, silk, and wispy clouds crafted together in a fine weave.

When the sun hit it, which it did just at the right moment, the white material burst out with the most majestic radiance. For a moment it seemed that the King was five times the size of the real man, and five times as majestic and bright ans powerful. The vision elicited a wide

Oooooooooooh… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah…

from the crowd. He held his arms high, and spoke in a Mighty regalvoice that could be heard all across the city no matter where his citizens were:

"Citizens, welcome to Azure City on this day, one of the greatest of days in the history of our Realm"

HOOOOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAYYYY!

A mighty cheer went up from the crowd. He waited for it to die down.

"Today we hear from our esteemed Grand Chancellor about an exciting development in The Realm."

HUUUUUUURRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!

"Are you ready to hear it??!!"

YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

"Then let's hear it, for the GRRRAAAANNNND CHANCELLLLLOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR!!!!"

HOOOOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!

The crowd went truly wild, and a figure, much taller than the King, but dressed all in extremely dark blue stood from a row of ornate seats behind the stage and walked forwards, bowing low as the King stepped back and took his seat.

The new speaker raised one hand and the crowd became silent. The city became silent. The voice of the man who spoke was quiet and low, but still everyone could hear it however far from the stage they were.

"We have come to a time where this great City and this great Realm are under the threat of a great… darkness."

There was a collective intake of breath. A communal gasp. Some gentle confusion. The people, wide eyed, waited for more. There was no darkness that they knew of. If you had asked most of them, they would have told you life in Azure City, life in The Realm seemed to have been going pretty well.

"It is a creeping malicious darkness, growing beneath our very feet. So insidious that few among you would even know it exists."

He swept his hand dramatically across the crowd as he said it. A lot of people looked down to check if they could see any darkness beneath their feet. Those who looked wouldn't have said they could.

"It is the darkness of the savage-kind."

'Oh well yes', thought many; the savage-kind would be doing something like that for sure. Nothing was more pesky than a goblin after all, everyone knew that.

"So The High Council has taken it upon ourselves to DECLARE WAR on all savage-kind. No longer will the noble peoples of the realm permit lesser races to prey on them from the shadows. No longer will they steal our personal property or our taxation monies away for their own nefarious devices. No longer will the caverns of the deep be infested with savage creatures with malicious intent. We will make-safe all the deep places of The Realm for a Bright, Ordered future for ALL!"

King Charlie suddenly felt very nervous. Aren't WARS 'King things'? he thought to himself.

He stood and walked to the side of the Grand Chancellor. He felt like the crowd might need a little pep-me-up after that one. He took the Grand Chancellors hand, though the man seemed reluctant to give it, and raised both arms together.

Hoooooooooorrrrrraaaaaaaayyyyyy!

The people cheered loudly, because the speech sounded inspiring, and also as the King was obviously pleased with it. He looked so much the part up there standing with The Grand Chancellor. But they didn't cheer with quite the same gusto as before.

'Did he say 'WAR?', some thought to themselves, 'Was it really all that bad? Was peoples property getting stolen?' They hadn't heard much about that. Those goblins must be worse that they thought.

But the Chancellor wasn't quite done. He disentangled himself from the Kings hand.

"Today The High Council hereby issues an EXTERMINATION MANDATE. Any noble Warrior, Mage or Wright, or ANY ASPIRING COMMONER who wishes, may enrol here with The High Council to be issued a licence to enter, clear and cleanse all corners of The Realm for the Glory of all that is Bright and Heroic and Ordered. All the great accumulated untold FORTUNES of the savage-kind are fully claimable, minus a small levy, by the adventurer parties who confirm the completion of an assigned quest. There's also some fine print everyone should read, just apply for your official copy of the decree including addendums by close of business this afternoon."

Well this was quite sensational. The accumulated fortunes of the savage-kind? Weren't they all the spoils of that property that was being stolen, in the dark, from under their very feet? Any with only a small levy? Why even a commoner might become as wealthy as a prince with that sort of offer on the table.

The crowd suddenly forgot about WAR and could only think of what they would do with their newfound personal fortunes!

HUUUUUURRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

A renewed roar went up from the crowd. King Charlie VII waved and smiled. Outwardly. A strange sense of foreboding was rising up inwardly.

He would be sure to have words with The Grand Chancellor in private as soon as the festivities were over.

Though what was there to be done now? he thought. And then, Maybe I should form an adventuring party…

Gervais and Joss watched the proceedings from the window of his Tower, a small but not at all inconsequential protuberance from the side of the Spire of The Bright College.

"Well there it is." Gervais said "You are already pre-registered for the Jârvik Cavern quest, which will likely be the most profitable clear out in the history of The Realm. Is your arm up to the challenge?"

She smiled at him and flexed her fist,

"You bet it is mage. Fighting fit. Give the word, we'll ride out whenever you say so."

"Let your unit enjoy the festivities tonight. Just not too much. We leave tomorrow at first light."