"did yoo say da fish?" Gob asked the White Orc, not sure he'd heard right.

"Here," said the Orc handing him the wounded form of Criff. "Put him in the ferry and defend him. I'll go and get Paula and send her after you. When she comes, have her start pulling the ferry across the lake while you go and get the catfish, Jangles, to escort you... the fish will know what to do."

Gob shrugged, actually wondering if the radiation had gone to the Orc's head, but Leőn and the Orc had immediately run towards Paula and Gurd, so he just ran quickly for the ferry jetty. Over the chaos of battle behind him Gob could hear a

thrummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

It was the White Orc casting his new ancientdarkradiance.

As he ran, Gob dispatched Groshnickes who tried to ambush him with flicks of his tail that were now becoming so instinctive he hardly even had to think about it. Even with Criff in his arms, he had no trouble barbskewering the creatures precisely in the forehead whenever they charged him. He even found himself wishing for a second tail so he could combine his various barbtail skills with his multifita. He straight away dismissed the concept as ridiculous, but then reconsidered...

wy shoodn i orways hav a tail? i hav too effereal powas... i unerstan how da effereal magik werks... iz lik wen i git big wiv mi toast or wen i puke da spida babeez out, i no wot dat feelz lik. an dis idea of an effereal tail, it feelz lik dat too!

And that was when it happened.

The nagging concept that had been hovering at the edge of his consciousness fell into place with a

click!

And in that moment, he skewered two Groshnickes simultaneously. One with his skill:barbskewer, and another with his own very first authentic manifestation,

emerged:etherealblessing(unaligned):phantombarbwhip

He had an ethereal tail!

He had actually manifested his own authentic magical power!

He was an actual Troll Mage!

The feeling was so incredible, so exhilarating, so…

"GOB!" shouted Paula from just behind him, knocking him out of his own mind as she violently pronged a Groshnicke on the end of her fishing spear, "Is that… is that…"

"crif iz aliv" he reassured her as she reached him.

"Oh thankyou," she wept as Gob, without stopping, kept running to the ferry.

When they reached it he bundled the boy into the centre, down low under a cross beam for the best protection available. Paula already had the chain in hand.

Gob skewered two more Groshnickes as they tried to clamber aboard. A third grasped Paula's shoulder in its scythes, eliciting a surprised shriek of pain, but Gob quickly lunged forward and bit on the arm with tuskybite, obliterating the limb and the monster in a shower of milky white gore.

The Groshnickes could swim, but not well. They didn't seem to need to breathe, as all Gob could see above water level was six flailing sets of scythe-tipped legs, with their heads and small torsos submerged. He leaned over the edge as they got further out on the water and swiped and skewered the swimming Groshnickes around them until the area around the boat was, at least temporarily, clear. But many of the creatures now sensed the ferry in the water and had started to turn, splashing and scything towards them from every direction, churning the lake in a steadily growing frenzy.

"yoo keep pulin da fery" he said to Paula once she had tied a rag tightly around her gashed shoulder, "i iz goin in der. i com bak in sec."

He dove over the edge before she could say anything in reply. He couldn't tell her he was going to talk to her pet fish.

As he dove down, the chaos of the battle above immediately quieted and muffled in that strange echoey way that sounds do under the water.

He swam straight down and flicked his tail strongly to go deep, quickly getting well below below the beasts, who all thrashed around near the surface. He was easily able to outpace the few of them who saw him and tried to dive down in pursuit. However they had no way of propelling themselves under the water as their bodies were light and their limbs too gangly to get enough momentum.

He found Jangles quickly. It was simply a matter of looking up from below to see the metallic white shimmer of the large catfish darting upwards with a powerful flick of it's body, chomping into a Groshnicke from below with it's thousands of pinlike teeth with a

Crunch!

that Gob could hear clearly even though muffled by the water, before diving down, turning, and darting up again.

how do i even tork to a fish? Gob asked himself as he swam towards it.

The fish noticed him and looked like it was about to dart towards him with it's rows of pincer fangs. Gob put both his hands up and shook his head, then pointed to the underside of the ferry as it slowly moved along on its chain.

He pointed to himself, then the ferry. Then he pointed to Jangles, and then the Groshnickes. Then he held up a finger, and made his other fingers swim towards his first finger, then pointed at Jangles, then at his wriggling fingers, then back at Jangles, then back up at the underside of the ferry.

The fish looked at him blankly.

Glubbbbb bllluurbl blublub glub.

It said.

However somehow, Gob was shrouded that he understood it... cood dis catfish hav a conec-shun wiv mi? he wondered:

(Seriously, strange-creature-who-is-very-poor-at-swimming, this is excruciating. Will you please just tell me what you are trying to say.)

gloobal.

Said Gob.

(oh.)

Then he received a prompt:

*tell the fish if it doesn't like charades it should just sod off and mind it's own business. (connection:irascibility)

he iz a bit krankee…

*compliment the fish on its whiskers. (connection:vanity)

dey iz good wiskas…

*ask the fish for help. for the good of criff. (connection:emotion)

mibby…

*ask the fish if groshnickes taste better than bogspawn. (connection:gastronomy)

dat iz a inerestin topik…

Garbel gerlug blooorbl glerb laaaaa.

said Gob.

(If you don't like my charades then just sod off.)

Glob glub gerlool blerbel blob.

said Jangles.

(Even though you are a strange-creature-who-is-very-poor-at-swimming, you are an even worse conversationalist. It isn't easy being a giant-mutated-million-toothed-catfish you know. The only person who ever loved me is the unswimmer-boy-with-the-repulsive-fishmurder-spear. You will pardon my irascibility. I am trying to protect the-only-remaining-source-of-purity-in-my-rapidly-diminishing-environment, and the strange-black-radiation-drenched-creatures-who-are-also-very-poor-at-swimming-and-also-very-ugly-and-taste-even-worse-than-bogspawn appear to be attacking it. They do not taste nice.)

BLER! BLARRRBBEL GLORB BLURBL! GLUB GLORBL.

Said Gob, with expression.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

(I AGREE! I BIT A FEW AND THEY DO TASTE HORRENDOUS. Also, the unswimmer-boy-with-the-repulsive-fishmurder-spear is in that unswimmer-transportation-coracle! he will soon be torn-to-shreds by the strange-black-radiation-drenched-creatures-who-are-also-very-poor-at-swimming-and-also-very-ugly-and-taste-even-worse-than-bogspawn)

glerb blar blarg.

Gob added, just in case.

(You have excellent whiskers.)

gleeeeeerb. Berlarglll garbl bloob.

said Jangles, rolling an eye.

(You are odd. But I don't disagree about my whiskers. They are indeed excellent. In fact I possess a nuclear affinity and I have developed a skill:whiskersofdecontamination. I sense great radioactivity from these strange-black-radiation-drenched-creatures-who-are-also-very-poor-at-swimming-and-also-very-ugly-and-taste-even-worse-than-bogspawn. The radiation may be their lifeblood. Watch me try something. Do not approach me. )

Gob held his place under the water as the great fish shot up. It swam a wide circle around the ferry, between it and the steadily approaching ring of Groshnickes who were now swimming towards it from every direction. Jangles completed the circle, then started another, then another. For every circuit that the catfish did, a pulse seemed to ripple out from it, and as Gob looked on, the fish's whiskers started to pulse with a glowing, pure white light.

The light spread out on the next circuit like a clean white whirlpool.

On the following circuit, a Groshnicke swam into the light and immediately stopped swimming. That was it. There was no explosion, no obliteration, no sound, no struggle. Gob was a bit disappointed if he was being honest... he liked loud noises and violent proofs of destruction.

But as more and more Groshnickes swam into the circle of white light, and just stopped, their bodies losing all momentum, Gob had to admit it was effective. Their spent shells started raining down towards the bottom of the lake, settling to the bottom in muddy puffs of silt.

The catfish paused and swam back to Gob.

Gellburlurlb blub glubglorrrrrbl blaaaar blor.

It said.

(My whiskers have successfully stalled the strange-black-radiation-drenched-creatures-who-are-also-very-poor-at-swimming-and-also-very-ugly-and-taste-even-worse-than-bogspawn. I will keep swimming in circles. You will return to the unswimmer-transportation-coracle and attend to the unswimmer-boy-with-the-repulsive-fishmurder-spear. When you return to the waterless-place-above you must force more of the creatures into this lake, and I will decontaminate them all. It was good that you came, strange-creature-who-is-very-poor-at-swimming. You will practice your charades though. They are bad.)

It swam away.

Berlerb!

Said Gob. The fish turned.

(Wait!)

Gerbl blurrb barblarbl breel?

(Do you not even like to eat bogspawn?)

Garbbbel bluuuurrb garlargl beeelerb blub gulb blergl glob glob.

It said, and swam away.

(You strange-creature-who-is-very-poor-at-swimmings are all the same. No appreciation for fine aquatic vegetation. Go eat a plant.)

----------------------------------------

As Gob resurfaced, he couldn't help but feel relief wash over him as the crisp clear noise of battle returned to his ears in stark contrast to the muffled underwater world.

He climbed over the edge of the boat.

"What happened down there?" said Paula in amazement, "I was getting ready to make a last stand, when all the Groshnickes just started dying!"

"iz da catfish. he az got nise wiskas."

"Jangles is doing this?!" she exclaimed.

"What's Jangles doing?" A weak voice came to them from the bottom of the ferry. Criff had woken up. He groaned. Paula sprang back into action, redoubling her efforts to get the ferry to the opposite shore.

"Hang on Criff, I'm getting you back to safety." she reassured him.

Gob could see ahead of them that a fierce battle was still underway on the island. There were dead and dying Groshnickes everywhere, but still more of them savagely assaulted the strongest of the villagers, who fought on beside Karl desperately. Gob could see Kylie's electric bolts slamming into the creatures too.

"i go ahed an cleer a way to da hal," Gob said to Paula before diving into the water again and swimming straight for the shore.

He climbed up onto the island and ran for the centre of the village, taking many of the Groshnickes from behind before they even knew he was there, killing them to the left and right of him using a combination of his barbtail, etherealbarbwhip and his tuskybite whenever he was up close.

"GOB?!" called Kylie.

"IS THAT YOU GOB?" he herd Karl shout as he continued to carve his way through the horde.

"YEP." Gob yelled back between impalements, "PAULA AN CRIF IZ BEHIN ME! WE GOT TA GIT RID OF AL DEEZ. CRIF IZ HERT... KARL! KYLIE WE GOT TO PUSH AL DEM GROSNIKS INTO DA WATER! TRYZ ME IT WIL WERK!"

"I'VE GOT ONE MORE TRICK UP MY SLEEVE GOB, I HAD AN EPIPHANY OF MY OWN THANKS TO THIS ADVENTURE... IT'S TIME TO PLAY MY NEW TRUMP CARD! SHUT YOUR EYES EVERYONE!" Karl shouted back.

Gob did, even though it was a strange request, and a moment later he heard and felt a

ppppppwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

It was a flash he could see even through his closed eyelids, and something like a physical shockwave passed him by.

There was a beat of stillness and silence, and then as if synced together, every single living Groshnicke in the area of the shockwave let out a

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Karl had been at the epicentre of an expanding bubble of bright radiant light, and around them the Groshnickes were suddenly careening out of control, as they were physically pushed away by the bubble of light as if it were some sort of barrier they couldn't pass through. The bulbous milky white eyes of the creatures who were exposed to it had ruptured, and with it any sense they had of direction or coordination. The bubble forced them away, crushing them against the walls of buildings, or pushed them outwards to the edges of the island where they splashed, blinded into the lake water, where they were soon attended to by Jangles.

The shrieks and the devastation of the Groshnickes on and around the island seemed to trigger a mass retreat even from the Groshnickes on the far shore, and a cheer went up from the villagers on the island.

Paula and weakly stumbling Criff made their way through the now body strewn but no longer Groshnicke infested streets.

"PAULA, CRIFF!" Karl exclaimed as they met, embracing them both, "Thank goodness you're alright. Go straight into to the hall so we can tend to your wounds."

It wasn't long before the White Orc and Leon joined them back on the island.

"wer gurd?" asked Gob.

"She left again," said Leőn simply, "Sorry."

"Thank you all for returning to help us," said Karl sincerely, "without you we would have been overrun."

"What has happened to bring them here?" asked the White Orc.

"I don't know." answered Karl, "We were having a day of celebrations and recuperation right here on the island, the attack came suddenly and savagely, and completely unexpectedly."

"da fish sed dat dere lifeblud is rady-yashun," said Gob to the White Orc, "mibby dey haz com lookin for de rady-yashun dat yoo took."

SHREE! SHREE! SHREE!

As if in answer to the question a strange unearthly, but incredibly loud barking shriek echoed across the swamp.

"What was that?!" exclaimed Kylie, as she flew over to join them, "I've never heard anything like it!"

"dat woz woz da big wun" said Gob, "me an gurd fite it in da templ befor da coor shut da door. iz very big an nastee."

"It must be the Queen that was depicted in the carvings we saw on the walls of the temple." said Leőn.

"If it is looking for the isotope, and it can somehow sense that I absorbed it those things will be following our trail until we destroy them too." said the Orc.

"If these beasts are anything like any other colony creatures, I'd guess that if you destroy the Queen, the others will lose their cohesion and disperse and gradually die out." suggested Karl.

They all looked at him, they all looked at each other. There was really no question in the matter.

"A question," said Kylie thoughtfully, "If Mr Thing said he was going fishing, where exactly would he have gone..."

----------------------------------------

"GURD!" Gob called out at the top of his lungs, "GURD! we need yor help!"

There was no answer from beyond the mist. He could see her den, but the whole area was eerily still and silent. A Groshnicke suddenly lunged at him from the doorway of her den, scything wildly. He dispatched it immediately with his phantombarbwhip not even breaking his stride as he ran inside the den expecting the worst.

It was empty. Gob breathed a sigh of relief. He still didn't know where to find her, but at least she hadn't been ripped apart by a horde of Groshnickes. He walked back out again.

Leőn and Kylie were looking at him in surprise.

"What was that!?" asked Kylie, looking incredulous.

"wot?" he asked.

"You just killed a Groshnicke by... what? Looking at it?"

"oh dat!" he remembered he hadn't mentioned his new manifestation to them since the battle for the island. In fact he had just used it so instinctively he hadn't even thought about it himself.

"i made magik! i woz finking abot mi tail so much an i woz sad coz soon if we go owt ov da swamp i don hav it anymor, and den i fort... wy i not hav it anymor? an den i werk owt how i cood mak wun and den dis!" he pointed at the air next to and slightly behind him. There was nothing there.

"iz a tail!" he said happily, "iz cald phantombarbwhip"

"You have manifested an ethereal spiked tail?!" asked Leőn, laughing, "That's actually... awesome!"

"fank yoo Leőn, dat meens a lot, comin from yoo!" said Gob.

"Wow!" said Kylie, "did you tell the White Orc? He'd be amazed!"

Gob, Kylie and Leőn had decided to go together to try and find Gurd. Gob was sure she would know exactly where Mr Thing was, and, well, he just wanted to see her again. The White Orc, unusually had decided to stay behind with Karl... "to discuss nuclear affinities" he had said, somewhat mysteriously.

"WOT AR YOO AL DOIN HEER?" A familiar voice called out. It was Gurd, only just visible at the very edge of the mist.

"gurd!" said Gob running towards her, but he slowed and stopped when he saw her demeanor. It wasn't welcoming.

"we need yor help..." he said, now unsure where he stood with her.

"i oredy help. i oredy tak yoo to mista fing. i oredy esplor da templ wiv yoo. i oredy fite da grosniks. wot help do yoo want now?" she looked upset and Gob didn't understand why.

"wy--" he began.

"DIS ISN HOW TROLZ WERK GOB!" she screeched, "DIDN YOR BIG TROL TEECH YOO ANYFING?"

"hiz hed woz chopd off..." said Gob looking at the ground.

She seemed to calm down a bit at that, "wel dat wood make it hard too teech yoo anyfing. Gob trolz liv by demself. trol hagz find a trol and den dey... yoo no... an den dey go away. den ten yeerz lata dey com ba an giv yoo da trollsporn an den dats it. yoo iz not spose to be heer. we iz not spose to be seein eech ova now! dat how trolz werk!"

Gob glanced at Leőn and Kylie, who pretended not to be listening.

"but, i lik to see yoo gurd. mibby i izn lik ova trolz." he said quietly.

She made a frustrated face at him, and said "wot yoo need help wiv dis time."

Gob looked up with a twinkle in his eye.

"You little sweet talker!" he heard Leőn whisper under his breath.