The Princess led Gob and Kylie to the second floor of the palace. The entire level was one clear, open room with a flat ice floor, a high flat ice ceiling, flat ice walls and no windows. The space was just a big white featureless box.

"Now Gob, what do you most need to progress?" she asked him.

He thought. Then held up three clawed fingers, counting them off as he listed his faults,

"free fings:

"wun, i haz to control mi Toast blessing cos it dosn last long an den i hav long rucovory time.

"too, leon sez i haz to practis mi clos fitin an mi saves cos i iz bleedin lotz.

"den free, i haz to practis mi reedin coz i iz not good wiv my lettaz."

The Princess smiled fondly "Well, let's start with number two first, because Leőn is correct; close combat skills, and especially saves are foundational, and if you get really good at that kind of fighting, you may not need your blessing to last as long. As for reading, this isn't the place. I have a library for that, you're welcome to it anytime you like."

"wate, der foor fings," said Gob quickly, "i juz find ot i haz a new family-er. i haz eferel faze spida babeez. dey liv in mi tumi, but i can only spawn dem by pukin. so i need to practis mi pukin." He patted his tummy.

The Princess' eyes widened, and her brows creased with shock. She stared at him intensely for a moment. He felt a gentle, respectful connection.

She glanced at Kylie, her face questioning.

"Don't even ask." said Kylie.

The Princess made a strange face at Gob, "You only get more fascinating the more I get to know you, Gob... Ok then, are you ready?"

"redy fo wot?"

She smiled like a crazy Elf, "Oh, you're going to love it." Then turned and walked out.

As soon as the door closed behind her, another opened across the opposite side of the room, and a line of the serving golems tromped in, identical to the ones who had given them dinner the night before. Once they were all inside, they stood perfectly still in two rows of ten and the door closed.

The icy floor, the walls and the ceiling started to ripple, and rocklike shapes rose out of all the flat ice on every side of the room, as intricate and detailed as the trees and creature sculptures they had seen in the dining hall. Unlike in the dining room though, once the rocks had formed, they flickered and darkened as colour spread over them, moving from one side of the room to the other, then up the walls and across the ceiling until the room looked like... no was a cave. The rocks were varied to include scrabbly gravel, uneven rises and falls in the floor and a range of boulders, some small, some bigger than Gob was.

The ceiling had become curved and irregular just like a cave roof and even had stalactites dropping from the ceiling. All done, Gob couldn't be sure that they weren't actually in a cave… it was entirely convincing. Except that it still had two strange rows of white golems standing across the back.

But now they started to change. The tall, straight ice golem figures slowly began to melt and shrink, deforming into short lumpy shapes before disappearing out of sight behind the rocky terrain.

Gob watched with fascination as it all unfolded.

"Gob, get ready!" Kylie warned him, predicting what would come next.

"fo wot?" he asked, still not really comprehending what was happening here.

There was an orange glow behind one of the boulders, and a flame brandished on the end of a wooden stick rose over the top, followed by the creature that was holding it as it scrambled up onto the rock to get a better vantage point.

It was a Goblin fighter dressed in rusty chainmail with a chipped but still vicious looking axe in one hand and the flaming brand in the other. He pointed at Gob and Kylie,

"DER DEY ARE LADZ, LETZ GIT 'EM!"

from behind the stone there was a

fiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiwwwwww

fiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiwwwwww

and two flaming arrows zipped through the air and with a

thwak! thwak!

Lodged themselves in Gobs belly and shoulder.

AAAAAAARRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAR!

yelled Gob in pain and angry surprise, then

"DAT HURT YOO PUKY GOBN!!"

But it was no good yelling at them, they were flinging themselves over the boulders now, careening forwards towards him, weapons raised and yelling their battle cries,

GUT DA TROLL! GIT 'IZ CLAWS!

SELL 'IZ BLOOD FER POTIONS!

The first three got to Gob while he was still trying to pull the arrow out of his belly.

Kylie showed to him over the din: "GOB, REMEMBER: LOOK FOR WEAKNESS, USE 1ST TURN INITIATIVE TO CRITICAL HIT IF YOU CAN, COUNT YOUR ATTACKS, STACK YOUR SAVES!"

He did.

He pulled the arrow out of his belly and jammed it's spiked head hard into the eye of the first Goblin, then sliced across the belly of second with his other slicehook. Both creatures exploded into shards of white ice immediately.

The third Goblin was right behind it, but out of Gob's first-turn reach. It taunted him, crazed and chittering,

"IM GUNNA CUT YA IN TWO YA FILFY CAVE-PIG!"

In turn, it flew at him with a rusty short sword that it swung at his middle in a wide sweep. Gob got inside the sweep and shoulderbarged him with a knobbly shoulder sending him flying backwards into two more goblins who were close behind him. One of them must have landed on the other's blade because there was another explosion of ice, the others tumbling into the floor in a heap.

CRUNCH!

A spiked-club wielded by another Goblin smashed him painfully on the shoulder

"TAKE DAT ONE YA DOG-EATER!"

it taunted, as yet another tried to slash at his other side...

"IMA GUNNA GUT YA TROLLY!"…

He successfully blocked the slash with his claws.

But there were more pouring over the rocks, and Gob looked like he was about to be overwhelmed.

"REMEMBER THE BAT CAVE GOB; USE YOUR ENVIRONMENT! FIND THE HIGH GROUND!" Kylie called out encouragingly.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

She pointed towards him and a bolt of lightning flew out from her finger and electrocuted the spiked-club goblin and the side-slash goblin who were immediately on him, giving him a little breathing room. They flashed and spasmed and exploded in white sprays.

"FANKS KYLZ," he called distractedly as he jumped sideways and scrabbled up onto a decent boulder, "DEEZ GOB'NS IZ BIG TRASH TORKERS!"

"COME DOWN 'ERE AN' FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" The next Goblin to reach him at his new high ground yelled up at him. Gob stchacked him right in the face for that one,

"I IZ NO MAN!" he yelled back, but to no one in particular, his offender having already busted into shards. He was getting the hang of this and starting to enjoy himself now.

The next attackers to approach him seemed slightly different. They were still obviously Goblins, but the look their eyes was grimmer and more determined, their armour and weapons were better maintained, and their trash talk was more on point. They were higher level Goblin Fitas.

"YER SMALL AN WEAK TROLL, YER GUNNA LOSE DIS FIGHT" said the first as he ran towards the rock with a sharp dagger clutched in each hand. It dodged Gobs initial claw swipe with exceptional speed and agility.

Gob was still surprised at how quickly it had managed to dart out of the way when he felt a gash on the arm he had just swiped with and a quick second across his thigh

it got mi! he realised. He hadn't even seen the attacks coming. It was his turn and he hesitated.

"DIS WUN IZ KWIK!" he yelled to Kylie

"GET DOWN ON HIS LEVEL SO YOU CAN USE YOUR EXTRA BITE! GET THAT TUSKCAP ON!" she coached.

He'd forgotten all about it, and tapped it up out of his inventory as he jumped down and tried to stchak the Goblin on the head. It dodged again, but this time he followed staight on with his tuskybite, biting down on the surprised Goblin's arm. The cap surged and the sly Goblin burst apart in an icy shower. The next Goblin to attack looked identical, and had already got within contact range before Gob's next turn, and he had already used all his available attacks, meaning he couldn't do much more than just tank the two slashes to his belly,

Gob's shagpilehide held in his important bits for now.

intrestin dat i stil got mi shagpilehide an slicehooks coz i feel like i iz in a cave he thought detachedly. The subterranean illusion was good, but it was still an illusion. He'd have to remember that.

"Y'AINT KWIK ENUFF TA GIT ME, TUSKY!"

He repeated the stchak/stchak/tuskybite move on the taunting goblin who then exploded in an icecloud, proving that tusky was in fact quick enough to get him.

There was an unexpected silence; for now there were no other Goblins. The caves were clear. Gob stood up straight, looking around.

The next creature to scramble over the rocks wasn't a Goblin, but a chunky Orc. He was quite a bit bigger, with big lumpy muscles, all the more prominent due to wearing nothing but a ragged loincloth. It didn't look like a particularly intelligent Orc, and moved a fair bit slower than other Orcs Gob had met, but it towered over him, nearly twice his height. Gob took a moment to consider him, knowing he had initiative. This guy was big and looked like he had extremely high toughness and constitution. Although Gob could easily outmanoeuvre him, a hand-to-hand confrontation would be a drawn out battle, and he'd be able to give Gob a serious pounding. The Orc looked like he was alone for now, but how long would that last? Gob had a twinge of inspiration. It was time to try some save stacking!

"OI FATTY FAT ORC!" Gob yelled, picking up a stone and flinging it at him.

"Don't you think that was a waste of a turn Gob?" said Kylie.

"woch dis!" he answered, "COME ON FATTY BOI!"

The big Orc bellowed back at him angrily: "I GUNNA RIP YA TO SHREDS BABEE TROLL!"

"I think you just made him angry." Kylie commented.

WWWAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!

The Orc bellowed again and charged.

Gob knew his best rebuff given the thing's size was his bodyfrow. He wouldn't be able to kill it by throwing it though...

But his inspiration was this: what if he combined his twoclors skill with his bodyfrow skill? Usually during the bodyfrow his hands were gripping his opponents shoulders or body right up until he kicked it over his head... but he didn't think gripping then the whole time was actually necessary, just kind of habit. He was pretty sure he could let go of them as soon as he engaged with his legs… What if he could rake his slicehooks down the attackers belly as they passed over the top of him as an extra attack? Excited, he tried it.

The Orc was bellowing as it charged, and it was too big to change course once it had committed. With perfect timing Gob caught the beast by the shoulders and dropped to his back. As he felt the weight shift to his legs, he snatched his arms away and tried to slash at it's underside as he flung it back.

It kind of worked.

Well actually it did work, because the Orc exploded into icicles. But it had been clumsy.

The Orc had actually grabbed his shoulder too, which Gob on reflection realised happened often, he just hadn't really considered it because the grip was always broken as soon as his assailant realised they were airborne. Snatching his arms away had upset the balance of the throw and instead of being flung a good distance he had kind of flopped sideways and over. However, as ungainly as it might have been, one of Gobs claws had definitely found purchase. He'd successfully given the Orc a deep slice right down the middle. Obviously enough to kill it.

skill:bodifrow>slicyfrow

"Well done you got a skill progression! Woot!" said Kylie.

He'd just need to refine the details a bit further.

He jumped up quickly for whoever was coming next, but again there seemed to be a reprieve, the cave was silent.

"That throw was interesting" said Kylie.

"iz new skil!" said Gob excitedly.

"Tell me later." she replied "Twenty golems came in, but you've only killed nine!"

"nyn?" said Gob. It felt like more than that.

There was a scuttling sound, and a strange orange head popped up above the rock at the back of the cave. It was eyeless and shaped like a sharpened teardrop, and it's neck was segmented and arched. More of the creature scuttled to the top of the rock.

Gob realised what he had seen wasn't a head at all. It was a pointy tail that a spider-like beast held up over the top of it's body. It didn't seem to have much of a face at all in fact. The long tail thickened through the middle, multiple segments making up the main body and supporting eight spider-like legs, but then the body just seemed to stop bluntly, and two beady little eyes and a relatively small set of mandibles looked as though they had been jammed onto the front.

While the face may not have been too threatening though, the two enormous claws each side of it looked perilous. They were mounted each side of the body on massive jointed arms that looked like they belonged to a weightlifter.

"Oh Gob... thats a scorpion." warned Kylie, "Watch out for that sharp tail spike, it's poisonous like a spider fang. I don't think it will paralyse you though, I think they just cause intense debilitating pain."

The scorpion didn't attack, it just stood still and menacing at the top of the rock. Another Goblin hopped over then. This one was unarmed and even mostly unarmoured, but he had a very confident, malicious grin on his face as he casually jumped down off the rock and strode forwards to the middle of the cave.

"Well yer did fair ta git dis far little troll-fiter, but it's da end of da road now. Dis 'ere is my Cecilia. She's very well behaved as yer can see. She's a good girl is Cecilia. But, she's a bit 'ungry, so I promised her a bit o juicy little troll. She does like to play with her food. Have fun!"

He raised his arm and clicked his fingers.

The scorpion scuttled forwards incredibly fast while the goblin tamer cackled behind her.

Gobs first reflex was to pull out his flask to Toast.

"Save it Gob, you're not even halfway!" said Kylie quickly.

"i no git harf way if i iz eeten!" he shot back.

But he put it away anyway. He didn't know if he would have initiative against this creature, it looked fast. And, he wasn't sure who's initiative he was up against… the scorpion's or the tamer's? Were they two attackers or one? The tamer didn't look like a separate threat.

Gob decided to treat them like a single enemy, and treat the Goblin's little pre-chat and his finger click as the 'attack', but how was a Goblin beating him on inititative? If it had inititative high enough to strike against him first it must be using some sort of stat formula based on his own intelligence and the scorpion's high speed, agility and dexterity… with maybe a combination of their perception. It must be a special stat formula shared through connection.

That would mean he was about to cop a stinger. So he decided to see if his skill:run!! could be used as a debuff. The only thing he could think of was to somehow force the scorpion to strike at him and miss.

"HA HA HA!" cackled the tamer from the other side of the cave, "RUN LITTLE TROLL, RUN AN' HIDE AN' SEE IF MY CECI CANNA FIND YA! ALL SHE WANTS IS A LITTLE PLAY MATE!"

Gob did run, as fast as he could, and he did hide as soon as he saw a good spot. Across the cave there was a slight rise to the side of which two boulders sat next to each other, one much bigger than the other, the larger one leaning against the smaller. At the base was a small gap between them, which Gob dove for, sliding through on the scrabbly gravel to the other side of the rocks. He turned quickly and stuck his head back through the hole.

SNAK!

A giant claw snapped shut in front of him, and would have got him too, except that it ricocheted off the rock because the claw was too big to fit through the hole Gob had just dived through.

SNAK!

It tried again with improved precision, but Gob had reflexively jerked back from the first attack, so wasn't where the scorpion was expecting him to be for the second attempt.

Gob had analysed the creature at first glance for attack style, and figured it would get two claw snaps followed by a strike from that dangerous looking prong on it's tail.

wun mor den! thought Gob. All he had to do now was get it to strike him with it's tail and miss.

how can i taunt a scorpee-on? he thought.

Bbbbbbblllllllllerrrrrrrrrrffffffff!

He stuck his head back through the hole between the rocks and blew a raspberry at the thing.