Bbbbbbblllllllllerrrrrrrrrrffffffff!

Gob had stuck his head back through the hole between the rocks and blown a raspberry at the scorpion to try and taunt it into striking with its tail and missing him.

Swwwwwwiiiiiiissshhhhh-chak!

It struck as expected, but it didn't miss him as Gob planned. The bulbous stinger lodged deep into his left forearm.

GROOOOAAAAARRRRRRCCCHHHH!

He cried out as an intense and almost blinding agony shot up his arm and then down the whole left side of his body.

Gob was quick to take what he could of his turn though, and reflexively stchakked the thick chitinous tail with his right arm, his claws breaking through the creatures carapace surprisingly easily, lodging deep in it's soft flesh.

That didn't go as planned either, and instead of debilitating it, Gob was yanked bodily out of his hidy hole and flung around in the air above the scorpions body as it flailed around in pain and anger. As he was wrenched around, he himself screamed with the intense agony of the poison that surged through him, stinging and spreading down his side. He felt like he was starting to lose control of the whole left side of his body.

He wouldn't be able to take another hit like that, he had to end this now. There was one more thing left he could do. The carapace wasn't that strong, so with a last ditch effort, clenching his eyes shut against the pain of the poison, he leaned in close to the big stinger and bit into it as hard as he could.

Tuskybite activated and the stinger exploded in his face, showering him with ice as he dropped to the floor.

"CECI! NOOOOOOOOOOO--" Gob turned his head to the tamer who looked hysterical, right up to the moment he also exploded into ice shards.

Gob could hardly move, the pain from the scorpion sting was making the left side of his upper body twitch and shudder, it felt like something was burning him from the inside. The muscles on the left side of his face felt loose and droopy and he could only see a blur through that eye. With his right eye he saw movement at the back of the cave, so he tried to struggle to his feet.

He got up awkwardly, and stood there, lopsided, squinting with his right eye. He wasn't in good shape, but this also wan by even nearly finished, and it wasn't getting easier!

"Well wot 'ave we 'ere den boyz?" it was another Orc, but where the first Orc had been a dumb brute, this one was more like the Orc soldiers from Goblin Town. Smaller than the brute Orc, but still bulging with toned muscle, dressed in decent quality armour, and reasonably clever. The 'boyz' he had spoken to climbed up onto the rocks, two of them, and smiled at him evilly. The three Orcs jumped down confidently and strode forward a few steps, the Boss Orc reaching behind his back to pull out his axe, and the other two drawing short swords from their sheaths.

"Looks like an ugly goblin boss, what we worried 'bout 'im for?"

"Looks like a goblin, don't fight like a goblin" said the other.

"'Cos it's a troll," said the Boss, "and don't you mind 'e's small, 'e just killed Cecilia."

"O thank der Zog's," said one of them, "that beast was creepy as—"

"Cut it out and focus." the Boss shut him down, "My point is, he's not bad wiv dem claws, and keep an eye out for his jaws. Mark my word he'll get an extra strike on you wiv dat tusk if you git close enuff."

"Gob", said Kylie, she held up a finger "one swig."

He nodded.

"I'll take him Boss, you wotch." one of the orcs said.

"Naah Brorc, we all take dis one togeva, I get da feeling he's got the chop on us, so we best be ready to counter whatever 'is best is."

Gob stood where's he was and let them come to him. He wasn't sure he could take a step forward without falling over anyway, though the initial agony of the scorpion venom seemed to have was passed, and the partial paralysis effects were beginning to recede.

They came right up to him, so the three of them surrounded him, looking down menacingly.

"Oright little troll man, here's how dis gunna go. If ya got da chop on us, mind you make it good. Cos unless you can crank us all three in one turn, yer a ded troll."

Gob pulled out his flask raised it.

"To Krunch" he said quietly, and took two swigs.

He glanced at Kylie and she rolled her eyes shaking her her head and raising her hand palms up in a helpless gesture as she did.

"To who?" said one of the Orcs, but the Boss ignored it and said

"LOOK SHARP!" and jumped back in surprise because Gob shot up to be suddenly the same size as they were. He grinned at the startled Orcs.

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The Boss recovered quick enough though, because he swung a mighty two handed axe blow at Gob.

CHANG!

Gob blocked with a claw, even clenching the axehead in his hand, not letting it go. With his increased overall body stats, it didn't do much damage to him... it hurt a bit, but Gob was enjoying this to much to let it show. He smiled a sharp toothy grin at the boss who hadn't been able to pull the axe back and was still holding on to the shaft, his face betraying his horror.

Gob turned to the next Orc with the short sword.

He waggled a finger at it. "Mind you make it good!" he taunted. With an angry growl the Orc double slashed him in quick succession, but neither made much of an impact on Gobs Toast imbued shagpilehide, and Gob just took it with a creepy taunting smile.

The third Orc decided to run for it, which brought the sequence back to Gob.

Stchak!

The third Orc exploded into an icy mess as Gob clawed him in the back as soon he turned.

STCHAK! the second Orc exploded too.

Gob turned finally to the Boss, who was still right up close to him,

"yoo beta keep a eye on deez jawz!"

"Noooooooo!" Was all the Boss could manage as Gob leaned over and bit him, activating tuskybite. Gob shrank back to his normal size as a shower of ice shards cascaded over him.

He felt… OK. He had the headache, but it wasn't debilitating, and he was still standing.

"You good?" asked Kylie

"i fink i good!" he replied.

"Good!" she replied, pointing "Because you should probably take a look over there."

A great fat creature heaved itself over a boulder and flolloped into the centre of the cave. Gob was pretty sure it was a Goblin, but it was a Goblin like nothing he had ever seen before. It towered above Gob, three times his height with pale sickly green skin.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

It was so fat that it had rolls of flesh in layers on top of each other, and out of the fold between each layer oozed a disgusting yellow plus that stank like rot. It's legs were thick and stumpy, with flat deformed elephantine footpads, but it's arms were the opposite: long and gangly, with thin sinewy muscle and wobbly loose skin hanging down under the biceps.

Despite its large size though, it's head was still the size of a normal goblin, with intelligent beady eyes and a malevolent face framed by wide pokey out ears. It wore an ornate golden crown with a green gemstone set in the front. The crown was too big for it and sat lopsided and loose, but glowed with an eerie green light.

crood magik, thought Gob.

"Well if it isn't the little goblin-troll everyone's talking about!" it said in a surprising eloquent and friendly voice.

"A heavy little hitter they're calling you back there..." he gestured over his shoulder. "We've got you down for high initiative, a decent charge rebuff, two claw hits per turn, a bonus bite attack if in range, with a pretty nifty bit of gear on that tusk of yours, and an instant growth potion in that flask of yours. I've never even heard of that one before. Are we done? Is there anything else you've kept back that you can throw at me?"

Gob shrugged. "i got a magik neon fary dat shoots litnin bolts an fire."

"Gob, you leave me out of this!" she called to him from the back corner.

"Oh hee hee hee! She's a tetchy one!"

"I heard that."

"OK, well let's see how you do against my Skisnik… that should flush any other skills out!" the great creature leaned back slightly.

"OI SKISNIK! GET OUT 'ERE!" He turned back to Gob, "just you wait until you meet my personal body guard skisnik… he'll be a fine little challenge for you! Shame though, I might have liked to battle you myself and I'm pretty sure Skisnik will finish you."

The green gemstone in the kings crown pulsed.

Skisnik hopped lightly over the rock and stood in front of the Goblin King. He was a tiny short thing, shorter even than Gob, wearing a dark grey robe with a hood that only the bottom half of his shrivelled up face pointed out from under. His eyes were two glowing points of green shining out from under the hood.

He looked hobbled and bowed and ancient, one hand pressed into the small of his arched old back and a walking stick in the other, and Gob would have well and truly underestimated him if it wasn't for the fact he had just seen the Goblin jump lightly over a rock. The minute he saw him Gob knew exactly what he was… he'd met many like him in Goblin Town. In the Mages quarter.

"Yesssssss o mighty mighty King, O mighty might mighty King" he gibbered, "what would you have me do for you today O Leige, Leige, mighty Liege"

"Git 'im." said the King, pointing at Gob with an evil grin.

"Careful Gob," said Kylie, "this will hurt, but it will help you learn how to fight a magical enemy."

"uhh kylz, how do I fite a magikal enemi?" he said, unsure where to go.

"How did you fight the elementals?" she said.

"no very well." he said.

"You got this!" she called.

Like many Crude Mages, Skisnik had a strange, demented sort of a vibe coming off him. He skittered about with a strange sideways gait, never taking the two green glowing points of his eyes off Gob, but never standing still either. Gob was ready for some sort of fiery or ranged attack to come from him, but nothing did. So he just stood there, grinning and swaying and skittering side to side, and Gob waiting.

Eventually the King beckoned him, "Well, come on then little troll, you've got the chop don't you? Why don't you come on over and hit him with your best shot? Come on, hit him with your best shot! Fire away!"

Eventually Gob just decided to pounce at him as fast as he could and tried to stchakk him with one claw. The Mage blinked out of existence, reappearing behind him, and Gob's swipe met nothing but empty air, throwing him off balance.

"HAW HAW HAW!" the big fat Goblin King guffawed, his whole body with all its rolls of fat wobbling, "He's nifty that Skisnik, isn't he?"

Gob didn't hesitate this time, he tensed and with all the speed he could muster lunged at him again with the other claw, but the same thing happened: the Mage disappeared and reappeared behind him.

"Yor tern" said Gob resignedly, panting from the short but intense exertion.

Immediately the Mage was right up in his face.

"poof!" he whispered, and this time disappeared in a puff of green smoke which lingered around Gob making him cough and splutter.

The smoke made Gob's eyes sting and his throat burn. His throat seemed to close up, making it hard to breathe. He choked and gagged as he slumped to the ground, crawling backwards to get out of the poisonous gas's range. He took a deep breath of fresh air once he was clear of the noxious cloud, but the Mage had another trick up his sleeve and he poked Gob on the stomach with the end of his stick. Gob wasn't sure what the effect should have been, because the force of whatever it was, was entirely negated somehow. Gob had an inkling of 'how' because his tummy lurched uncontrollably and he nearly puked right there on the spot. Gob put one hand on his tummy and the other over his mouth. That felt like a spider baby tummy buff.

"Oh here we go!" said Kylie happily.

His reaction certainly startled the Mage who went skittering back to the King.

"It's got a magic shield! A magical shield! Magical! Magical!" it was dancing up and down on the spot excitedly.

"Well good then, you know what not to do next turn." the King replied soothingly.

der no gon bi a nex tern thought Gob.

He thought he had figured something out.

The King had appeared BEFORE the Mage, and for all his taunts about Gob's initiative, it seemed to Gob that actually, between his obviously high level, and the Magic Crown probably giving him some sort of expensive total initiative bonus, THE KING probably outclassed him in this case;

The King was trying to trick him!

The King's first 'turn' had actually been to summon his Mage. That meant the Mage was actually more like a piece of gear than an opponent… a thrall? Gob would never have thought of that other than his recent experience with the tamer and the scorpion. He guessed that's what this training room was doing: teaching him how different opponents might work.

Gob decided he was going to try to ignore the Mage and go for the King, to take them both out together!

He pointed at his eyes and then pointed at the Mage, using the classic I'm watching you gesture.

"HAW HAW! 'ERE WE GO 'ERE WE GO 'ERE WE GO!" sang out the King, having a great time, now leaning back casually, his elbow propped against the big boulder behind him. He'd found what looked like a large greasy chicken drumstick and was chewing on it messily, fat running down his chin.

Gob pulled out his flask. This was going to take four swigs.

"TO KRUNCH!" he yelled, and drank.

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He shot up to a size that was a full head taller than the fat King, took two long strides forward and

STCHAK! STCHAK! CHOMP!

Slashed twice across his fat belly rolls and bit down on his head, crown and all.

"Oh dear," winced the King painfully, surprised, still grasping his drumstick, "looks like my game is up then!"

It wasn't up though. The two giant slashes had definitely done him harm, his fat rolls hung open flapping down with some entrails lolling out, but he wasn't dead by any means. The tuskybite had chomped down on the crown, and though it was mangled, and in fact partially embedded in the Kings skull from the obliterative pressure, the green gem on the front, though cracked, still glowed with a weak flicker. It must have had some powerful save magic built into it.

shood av bit iz nek, thought Gob belatedly.

The Mage was suddenly in Gobs face again.

"poof!" he whispered, and another cloud of noxious gas assaulted Gob.

He ignored it this time, his much larger, stronger lungs seemed immune to it, but he was distracted just long enough to miss the fact that the King had charged him and was slashing down towards him with a gigantic, mean looking curved sword blade.

Even in the King's damaged state the power he put behind the sword strike was epic. Gob tried to dodge but only partially deflected the strike, the sword bit hard into this collar, slicing a deep gash down through the right side of his chest. The pain and shock caused him to stagger back and fall into his back, with a resounding crash, blood streaming out of the wound and pooling on the floor. He didn't feel like he would be able to use his right arm.

The King wasn't done though, it seemed like he had another attack yet, and bellowed as he rushed forwards to bring his sword down in a final stab into the wounded troll on the floor. The world seemed to slow down to Gob, he saw the King coming, and all he could do was try and roll to the side. As he did, his foot got under the kings elephantine footpad, which it mashed with a

Crunch!

but also caused the King to lose his footing and stumble, tripping awkwardly sideways and landing belly to belly right on top of Gob with a wet squelch, his sword clattering away to the back of the cave and his rolls of fat enveloping Gob's own tummy in a putrid wobble.

The weight of the fat Goblin bore heavily down on Gob's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He felt nauseous, his tummy wrenched, he couldn't breathe and couldn't move. Except to open his mouth and

PUKE!