The last time I saw Hae-in I was thirteen years old. Mom and I were staying with Auntie Ji An that summer because, my mom and dad had hit a rough patch in their marriage. I was terrified my parents were getting a divorce and I would have to live in Korea forever. I missed my dad, I missed my dog, I missed my friends. I even missed my older brother.

The Hae-in I remember had a burr haircut, he was skinny, he was seventeen and beautiful to my thirteen year old eyes. My angry, frightened heart latched onto him hard. Whenever he came out of his grandmother’s house I literally followed him around like a love sick puppy. Even then he had been quiet and kind. He didn’t encourage my attention, but he also didn’t chase me away. If he had…I don’t think I would have survived that summer.

Auntie Ji An’s laughter pulls me out of the past. She says, “So you do remember him.”

It was too late to lie to her. I nod and whisper, “Please don’t jog his memory. Let thirteen year old Lee Yi-seul stay in the past.”

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My aunt puts her hands on her hips and says, “Well, I have to introduce you. What do you want me to say?”

I honestly don’t know. A little yellow VW beetle is making its way to the airport entrance. It’s Ponytail man, I mean Kim Hae-in.

He pulls up. Auntie Ji An takes the front seat and I crawl into the back seat with my duffle bag and backpack.

Auntie Jin says, “Hae-in, you remember my niece, Lee Yi-seul.”

I glance at the rear view mirror to gauge his reaction. In the mirror’s reflection, I meet his eyes. He doesn’t seem put off by my identity. He smiles and says, “I thought you looked familiar.”

Great. I do my best to return his smile. On the plane he didn’t look familiar at all. He doesn’t look familiar now. I wish to God he was still just Ponytail Man. The fact that once I was practically his fan girl stalker makes me cringe. I feel embarrassment creeping to my face and traveling through every cell I have.

His eyes dart back to the road. Auntie Ji An who usually carries on an animated monologue about whatever pops into her head, doesn’t even start one. This behavior is odd, but I am grateful. I am currently too embarrassed to risk any trips down memory lane.