Inside the house, Gong Yoo, Auntie Ji An’s chihuahua greets her. He is cream colored and his tail is wagging so hard it almost knocks him over. He is all kisses when she picks him up. He is a cutie. Suddenly he glances my way and bares his teeth. A low growl rumbles in his tiny chest. Auntie Ji An says, “Be nice.” He gives me a dirty look and turns away. Auntie Ji An says, “Don’t mind him. He’ll warm up to you.” She looks me over and says, “Someone could use a nap.”

Due to lack of sleep, jet lag and crossing too many time zones, I feel like crap. “Yeah, I think so too.”

“I fixed up the room you always sleep in.”

”Thank you.” I go down the short hall to the bedroom. It hasn’t changed much. Blue curtains still flutter in the windows. There is a pallet on the floor with a cheery crocheted afghan.The sound of rain fills the room. I stow my duffle bag and backpack in the wardrobe. I lie down on the pallet. It feels good. Just as my eyes are about to close, I hear the click, click of tiny toenails. I peak out. Gong Yoo sits in the door way. His eyes are fixed on me and they are not friendly. Is he going to be like this the whole summer? Maybe I should assert myself. I lean up on my elbows and say, “Shoo, Gong Yoo!” He gives me a side eye but doesn’t budge.

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*

When I wake up, afternoon sunlight spills into my room. The rain has stopped. Gong Yoo is curled up asleep in the doorway. The instant I move, his eyes pop open and he glares at me. I ignore him and get up. In the dresser mirror I see my reflection. I do look bad.The last few months of poor sleep and a waning appetite are showing. I want to look like myself again. I want to be myself again. I still want Jason. It still feels like if Jason came back I would be all better. But, would I? Through the open window comes the sound of someone whistling Led Zepplin’s “Stairway to Heaven.”

I look out my window, it’s Pony-uh I mean Hae-in taking out the trash. I watch him lift the lid just the way he used to, with the bag held at arms length. For the first time I see in him the seventeen year old boy I knew. I step back from the window. He puts the trash in and quietly sets the lid down. As he turns in my direction, I duck, just like I used to when I was thirteen. In the door way, Gong Yoo is startled by my sudden body drop. I am too. Gees, what am I doing? I remain where I am until I hear Neighbor Song’s back door slide closed.