I cling to Hae-in’s middle as his scooter zooms down the road. I am breathless because of the speed, the wind and the nearness of him. We are on our way to the Buddhist temple where Neighbor Song’s family has worshiped for generations. It is also Auntie Ji An’s temple.

I see the tiled roof of the temple. We turn by some cherry trees and into the Temple parking lot. Suddenly I am thirteen again. It is evening, and I am with Auntie Ji An, Neighbor Song, Ajeossi and Hae-in. During the ride to the temple I sat squished between Auntie Ji An and Hae-in. Always, I am terrified of touching him for fear I might spontaneously combust. For the entire time we are in temple, I am beside him. I take every chance I get to sneak a peak at him and breathe the same air.

The scooter stops and I am back in the present. Hae-in helps me off the scooter. I thank him and look at the Temple. Thanks to the storm, it is missing few tiles. Some of the trees have sawed off limbs. I pray the inside is not damaged. We step inside the temple and I am greeted by the same peace that I feel when I step into an empty church. Buddha sits calm and serene. My thudding heart experiences a moment of peace. We kneel on mats and join the priest.

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I am a practicing Catholic and a Buddhist in my heart. To be part of this act of reverence speaks to my core. I do not sneak peeks at Hae-in. My whole heart is focused on gathering what strength I can to face tomorrow. If there was a way to stop time, I would. A sense of well being begins to grow in me. I am sure it will not last. Still I try cling to it.

When the priest concludes we stand. Hae-in touches my elbow and we head outside.

The sun slants rays through the garden. Above, stray clouds move slowly across the sky. Hae-in laces his fingers through mine. We are silent. I notice his palm is sweaty and so is mine. We are both nervous. Our time together is flying away.

The sun is headed toward the west. When it meets the sky line my last full day on Jeju Island will end. My throat grows tight. I struggle to keep my composure. Does Hae-in sense my sadness?