On the sofa, I sit wedged between Auntie Ji An and Hae-in. Auntie Ji An is pressed up against me. I am trying very hard not to make purposeful contact with Hae-in, though I am curious how touching him would feel. While Auntie Ji An’s eyes are riveted on the TV screen watching the real Gong Yoo, Neighbor Song is in the camp chair crocheting. I think she has her hearing aids turned down or off. I am trying to watch the TV, I absolutely love Park Bo Gum, but I am too distracted to focus on him. My mind is racing with stupid questions like, If I do touch Hae-in and I do feel something, will it be just because I am a love starved on the rebound desperate woman? I’m giving myself a head ache.
Finally, the movie is over. Auntie Ji An has her usual Gong Yoo glow about her. In a daze she stands up and twirls. She hugs herself and says, “In my next life, I will marry Gong Yoo.”
Neighbor Song remembers her hearing aids and turns them up. “What?”
Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
Auntie Ji An doesn’t repeat herself. She just smiles. To me she says, “I’m heading back. See you later.”
God, she is so obvious.
Neighbor Song gets up and tells Hae-in, “I’m worn out. Heading for bed. See you later.”
Both women spontaneously disappear. I don’t know what to do.
Hae-in stands. I stare up at him unsure of him and myself. I feel like I am thirteen. I feel like I am going to throw up. Good God, I think too much, feel too much. He asks, “Want to go for a walk?”
I very much do but I can’t seem to find my voice. With heart pounding I manage to nod. I stand up so abruptly I loose my balance. His hand grips my elbow and rights me. We are so close he could kiss me. Do I want him to kiss me? Fear gushes through me.I’m too raw to risk any kind of rejection, present or future.He releases my elbow. I mumble, “Thanks.” My mouth has gone dry. Moments are racing and dragging at the same time. He takes a step back from me. I literally feel his warmth leave me.He goes to the door and I follow. Like two nervous children, we step into the night.The gravel of the drive crunches beneath our feet. We hit the pavement of the road. Silently we pass from one circle of street light to the next. It feels like going from one island to another. We are headed for the lighthouse. Its beacon strobes the surrounding area. Light, dark, light, dark.