In the car, we are close. Close enough for me to smell his freshly applied Old Spice. I put the car in reverse and we head out. Due to my poor peripheral vision, it is hard for me to talk and drive at the same time. Hae-in carries the conversation while I focus on the road. Fortunately, Dami doesn’t live far.
Several new homes are just beyond the Fish Market. I see the sweetest little white brick house with a black roof. Roses grow in the flower beds. Children’s toys are stacked by the porch. It looks like a real home. I am swept over by a wave of nostalgia for the time when I thought kids and a husband were a given. I didn’t fear the future then. I stop the car.
The front door of the house opens. For the first time I see Seo, Dami’s husband. He is tall and with thick unruly hair. His face is kind. Hae-in and I get out of the car. Together we walk to the front steps. In the doorway Dami’s eyes are so bright they are practically shooting out laser beams. She hugs Hae-in. I bite my lip. I want to hug Hae-in.
Inside, Dami’s mother greets us. She is holding the boys hands. They bow to us and we return the bow. The boys are so cute! Dami’s mother says, “I will bring them back at 9:00.” To me she says, “It is so good to see you Ye Seul.”
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“It’s good to see you too.”
She gives Hae-in a look and a nod. The boys hug their parents and they head out the door.
Dami says, “Well, that went better than I expected.”
Seo grins and adds. “No tantrum. That is a miracle.”
*
We are seated at the dining table eating kimbap and spicy chicken. The food is good. The conversation is lively. Dami and her husband are both talkers. I throw in a sentence here and there, but the whole time my brain is running down a swift and dangerous track. Every bit of me is reaching toward Hae-in. He is so close, so very close.
After the meal, Hae-in and Seo clear the table and then settle down in front of the TV with game controllers. Both put on head phones so we don’t have to listen to whatever war they are fighting. Dami rolls her eyes and takes me to the kitchen. The first thing she says, “Izzie, I told Seo not to do that.”
“Its okay.” Is it? I guess. Perfect men don’t exist in real life.
Dami and I wash the dishes. After we get them into the dishwasher, her voice drops low and she asks, “Was Hae-in your first love?”
I shake my head. “No, my brother’s friend Jake was. Good old Jake, he never even noticed me”
With a glance in the direction of the front room, Dami says, “Well, that is an affliction Hae-in is NOT suffering from. I caught him sneaking glances at you.”
I very much want that to be true, but Dami has always had an overactive imagination.