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Chapter 44. The First Moments

Chapter 44. The First Moments

Hae-in and I are on our way home. As I drive passed the park, Hae-in asks, “Want to swing?”

I always want to swing. “Sure.”

I park and we get out of the car. The night is warm. The air is tinged with salt. Waves crash against the pilings. I go to the swing, fully expecting to propel myself. Hae-in asks, “You want a push?”

“Sure.”

With his hands just below mine on the chains, he pulls me backwards. For a moment I feel his breath on my neck and then he pushes me up into the sky. The stars come closer. And then I am falling backwards. He pushes me forward again. All I have to do is relax into the movement and I soar. I am going so high. He steps away from the swing and watches me. He is smiling and so am I.

I begin to loose momentum, and I let myself. I put down my feet and stutter stop my flight. I step out of the swing and go to him.

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With his left hand he touches my hair. A good bit of it has wriggled out of my braid. Softly he says, “I’ve always liked your hair.”

The word “always” sticks in my brain. Always? I tease, “Even when I was a kid?”

“Mmm. When you ran it fluttered behind you. I thought it was magic. I wanted hair like that too.”

I step closer to him and ask, “Am I another reason you grow your hair long?”

He laughs, “Yes, you are.”

These small connections we share are strands that have woven into our adult lives. I tilt my face up. He comes closer. I feel his breath. I close my eyes. His lips make contact with mine. The sensation that travels through me has a depth I haven’t experienced before. His arms encircle me. I wrap my arms around him. My heart is thudding in my chest. He pulls away. Sheepishly, he looks at me and smiles.

I run my hand up the back of his neck and push his lips back on mine. The first moments of discovery are always the sweetest. It’s not a feeling I want to let go. The kiss is good and so satisfying. There is magic in meeting the heart beat of another. Time stops, or so it seems. Joy rushes through me, pushes me under and then absorbs me. This is better than I imagined it would be. I let joy rise within me, refusing to question it, or quantify it, or worry where it will lead, if anywhere.

The sound of voices halts us. We release each other. A group of teenagers are out on the pier. Their young voices fill the night. Hae-in puts his arm around me and we head back to the car.