I hear Hae-in’s scooter head for work. If my window weren’t boarded up I would be able to watch him go. I yawn, check my phone and am instantly saddened by the fact I have only two more days before I leave. Tomorrow Hae-in has the day off, and the next day he will be taking me to the air port. And then, I will be gone.

It has only been 26 days since I met him. Him. The seventeen year old heart throb that I pined for. I remember when I left him that summer. I was happy to be going home, but I missed him so much. It was quite a while before I got another crush. Even longer before I had an actual boyfriend. Hae-in is not my boyfriend. He has not said he liked me. I don’t know if this is because he is quiet and not super verbal, or if what we have is in the moment and doesn’t have any future. Such thoughts plague me. My question is, do I leave it open ended and not specifically defined, or do I take the risk and express my feelings? What do I want? I want Hae-in in my life daily like he is now. In two days he won’t be daily in my life. Long distance relationships are difficult. I am just now healing from Jason. Maybe I should just let things be what they are…only I don’t want to.

My brain starts its usual interrogation. What if Hae-in decides to settle on Jeju? What if time and distance kill the way he feels or I feel? Then it does. It just does. There are no guarantees in this life. Am I really ready to start another relationship at this point in time? What does being ready look like? Feel like? I start drowning in my own questions and struggle to pull myself out. I have so little time left. I don’t want to waste whatever remains.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

After breakfast, Auntie Ji An, Gong Yoo and I head for the beach. The sound of the waves crashing against the pilings and the shore are sweet, calming music to my soul. Auntie Ji An asks me, “How are you?”

“Confused.”

Gong Yoo tugs on his blinged out leash trying to sniff something beyond his reach. Auntie Ji An tugs on his leash and asks me, “About what?”

“Hae-in.”

She nods and smiles. Not a single bit of advice is given. I ask, “What do you think?”

“You will figure it out.”

“Gees, that is helpful.”

She smiles again and says, “I aim to please. Just don’t think so hard. Let it take its natural course.”

“But I don’t know what that is.”

“Of course you don’t. That’s how a natural course works.”

“That’s not helpful.”

She chuckles and says, “Oh but it is.”

I frown at her and she laughs out loud.