I wake up. I can hear the city wake up too, doors opening, merchants setting up shops, breathing...

Breathing?

I turn to the snoring sound, and I see Eda sleeping with a serene smile. I study her smile, I don't often get the chance to see her smiling for that long. There are a lot of different smiles, so maybe I shouldn't learn to smile in general, and instead find the right smile for me specifically. I should ask Eda when I get the chance.

I try to grab one of the book on the bedside table, but Eda is unfortunately in the way. I stretch myself to be as close as possible to the books, and-

I lose my balance and fall on top of her. I can feel her, I want to get closer again, closer. I tear myself away from her before I get overwhelmed by this feeling again. I lost control once, I don't want it to happen again. It's something to let your feeling decide things for you, It's something else when it starts affecting others.

Eda stretches and lets out a long yawn, seemingly oblivious to my presence.

"Cayden...told you to not wake me up like thi-" Her eyes widen as she registers my presence, she lifts the blanket and her face goes red when she sees what's under it. "O-okay. Not a dream then. U-uh, wow."

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Y-yeah. I just have to deal with the consequences of my actions now. Ho boy, it's just- I wasn't really thinking straight last night, got swept up in the heat of the moment and... guess I have to live with it now."

"Consequences?" I stretch my arm past her to finally get the book, she makes a weird high-pitched sound even though our bodies don't even connect this time.

"I... you know, I have to choose what I want our relationship to be and... Ho no." She facepalms. "Cayden probably noticed I didn't come back to my bed last night, so I'm sure he got worried and checked your room to ask you where I was. So he probably saw the both of us...in the same bed...together."

"We could just explain to him what happened, to avoid misunderstandings."

"He's not going to misunderstand anything, that IS the issue. I..." She buries her head in her hands. "What am I saying? Why would that even matter anymore? He was never interested in me, it's not going to change now." She sits up, lifting the blanket up to hide her chest. "Screw it. I'll just...I'll uh, if that's okay with you, we can start... I- I mean. Y-you know..."

"I don't."

"I'm saying that...do you want us to start dating? If it doesn't work out, we can still be friends after that, I-I think. I can't promise I'm still not feeling some stuff for Cayden but- I'm just making things worse, I should stop talking." She starts nibbling her fingernails as her gaze fixate on the door, as if she's seriously considering bolting out of the room right now, even if it means going out without her clothes.

"What does dating implies?" I ask.

"Ha...stuff like holding hands...kissing...uhm, c-cuddling." She plays with her hair, unwilling to take her eyes off the door as she says this. "Gee, what am I getting all flustered for, I'm the one who egged you on last night and I can't even deal with the aftermath."

She suddenly wraps her arms around my waist as she buries her head in my chest. There's not much separating our bodies anymore, I can feel her warmth, her skin against mine. It's comforting, different from what I assumed was the lust I felt last night--if lust is like hunger, then this feeling is like being full, content, it's nice. Is this what happiness feels like? Was this truly what I chased this entire time?

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If that's happiness, then I'll make sure to protect it at all cost.

****

There's a dungeon somewhere in the forest next to the city, but it migrated very recently, so we aren't sure exactly where it is. It's apparently very dangerous to navigate the forest without a guide, so Cayden said he hired one to help. Speaking of Cayden, he hasn't really made any comment about Eda and me, so

After half an hour, the guide finally shows up to the meeting spot. A guide that I recognize.

"Ho, for fuck’ sake," the green haired guide says, who was also the librarian that I often took books from. "You again."

"Aren't you a librarian?" I ask her.

"I take a lot of jobs, I need the money." She spits on the ground, not hiding her disdain in the slightest.

"Why?"

"Mind your own fucking business."

Eda loudly clears her throat. "We're paying you, so the least you could do is not be rude. We just need your help to find the dungeon, and then we can go our separate way, alright?"

The guide grumbles, but doesn't object. "My name's Cel. I'm just telling you my name because some plants around here like to take the form of people and bait you into getting closer. They are very bad with names though, so if you're not sure if someone's real just ask them their name, they'll always get it wrong."

Cel gives us a few more tips on exploring the forest, and it makes me glad that Cayden thought of hiring a guide. Trees will sometimes swap places with other trees to trick people into going in the wrong direction; the grass might burrow into the ground and turn the dirt into quicksand; a few flowers will explode if they are stepped on--everything here wants to trick or kill you. And despite her rude disposition, Cel is very reliable; she always points out when something is dangerous, and we have yet to be hurt by any of the flora of the forest.

We search for the dungeon for the entire day, Cel says that there are only a few spot a dungeon could hide in, and we already checked most of them, so we're very likely to find it tomorrow. But we still have to set up camp and rest, the forest is not dangerous if you don't move, so sleeping is pretty safe.

I set up the bonfire and cook some chicken rice. It's been a while since I've prepared something that isn't a monster of some kind, but if Eda bought ingredients, then I might as well use them.

I give everyone their bowI; I expect Cel to make some mean comments about my food after eating it, but she actually asks for a refill the moment she's finished with her bowl.

Eda stares at Cel as she eats her fifth bowl of chicken rice. "You eat a lot for someone so...thin."

"Not thin by choice. Gotta save up money for college. Food's expensive." Cel mumbles as she takes another bite. Eating food has made her a lot more agreeable than before, although that's not saying much.

Cayden butts in, "College? What kind?"

"Architecture." She gulps down the last of her bowl and asks for yet another refill. "There's no system class for architecture, so you need to do a lot of studying instead of relying on skills. I think people are too fucking dependent on skills, this is why technology takes so long to advance, we only think of how to use skills instead of their limitations."

As I give Cel another bowl, it makes me realize how much I relied on skills for cooking, I still do some things manually, but the results are always inferior to what I could make using skills. I do enjoy the numbers though; they make everything so much clearer, instead of relying on an approximation of what someone can do, we have an objective value attributed to everyone, so I think the pros outweighs the cons.

After we finish eating, we set up the tents for the night. We almost trigger a few explosive flowers in the process, but thanks to Cel, no big accident happens. Cel had her own tent, she said she'd rather sleep outside than sleep near any of us.

I go back to my own tent, pulling out a few books I brought with me from the library. They are all about love, and I'm not sure if I need them anymore--then again, I still don't fully understand love, so extra research couldn't hurt.

As I consider which book to open first, Eda enters my tent without warning, something I thought you weren't supposed to do, but maybe only Lexia is bothered by that type of thing. It only occurred to me recently that what people find acceptable may differ from person to person.

"Can I uh- sleep with you? Not in a weird way- Unless you want to- I mean-" Eda fumbles over her words, using a lot of 'err' and 'uhm' before she finally forms a coherent sentence, "Can I sleep next to you? I kind of miss being near you."

I nod, unsure as to why she was struggling so much to ask for something so simple. My sleeping bag is conveniently big enough to hold the both of us, although it'll be a little cramped with two people. She keeps her clothes on as she slips in the bag with me.

Her warmth is as nice as it was before, although I didn't expect her to leave Cayden's tent like this, surely he'll notice this time, right? Or maybe she doesn't care what he thinks anymore, I really can't tell what's going on inside her head.

I put down the sociology book, and go to sleep with Eda. I'm overthinking it, I should just enjoy what I have.