The rest of the training was actually pretty standard, it was just testing what my powers could and could not do--and a lot of paperwork. There was also some makeup and trying to make my body and powers as appealing as possible, which was apparently pretty hard since I was neither particularly physically stunning nor were my powers extremely nice to look at--but they made it work.
I did ask why we were paid in popularity rather than in what type of jobs we actually did, and the reason for it is apparently a stupid law that was set up a long time ago. When magical girls first showed up, it was believed that to encourage them to do good things they should be paid on how much the public likes them--that and the competition triggers a bunch of different emotions that might empower the magical girls in question. The issue is that with TV and eventually the creation of the internet, it encouraged magical girls to put a lot of money and time into marketing themselves rather than helping people.
The law is stupid, but it's been widely adopted into popular culture, so no attempts at removing the law have been successful, most of the other countries have that law too. Apparently the entire world banded together when the forces of chaos showed up, and had to agree on some worldwide laws, most of them were related to magical girls and how to deal with the invading force-- now how everyone agreed to make all of this a popularity context is beyond me, but I'm sure they had their reason.
"Alright, how do you like it?" Jack says, gently turning my head towards the mirror. I blink a few times, this doesn't even look like me--which I know doesn't mean much since I change bodies all the time. My hair is shorter and combed to perfection, there is makeup, but it's really hard to notice unless you've seen me without it, my skin feels super smooth and my lips aren't dry at all.
"Wow, I thought makeup would be a lot more...slutty? But this looks great!" I say, turning my head around, appreciating each and every detail of my new face.
Jack sighs, "People think makeup is always stuff that makes you look like some horrid doll--stop moving around so much." He readjusts my head again and cuts a few more hairs. "But in reality, it's about making the ugly part of your face less visible and the beautiful part stand out more."
"I guess. I don't like changing the body I've been given, but this isn't too bad."
"Religious reasons?"
"No, it's more like...it feels like cheating? I don't enjoy standing out too much."
Jack chuckles, "Not the best job for that, I'm afraid. If that makes you feel better, you'll be at the bottom in the magical girl leaderboard, but you'll still be a celebrity."
"What does that imply?"
"People will latch on to you 'before you were cool', they like having their main girl be 'underrated'--whatever that means--so that will be your initial fan base. You can also try to stay under the radar and not attract attention, that means less money, but also exponentially less porn made of you."
"Come on." I push up my chest a little, it's not quite flat, but it's nothing to write home about either. "I'm not that hot, even with the makeup."
"How naive of you to think that will stop anybody." He rolls his eyes. "At least your transformation has been toned down a little, but the tentacles are definitely going to spark people's imagination."
"Ha..." That image is a pretty uncomfortable one, not because I'm being sexualized and more so because it's her image being defiled. I'll definitely stay under the radar then. "Anything else I should know?"
"The rest should be handled by your agent, you really should only worry about doing your job and keeping up your persona."
"My persona huh..."
I look at my reflection again.
Cute, I'm cute. I see a woman like that on the street, and my first thought is, 'she's cute'. If my bland looking face can be made cute without really changing my body, then I wonder if I can change who I am without losing my true self, that must be possible right?
I wonder if I can be cute on the inside too.
*****
The ride back to the orphanage was pretty uneventful, I can go on the internet with my phone, but it's pretty slow here. It's funny, I don't think I've seen anyone with phones or computers around here, maybe electronics are just very expensive and no one here can afford it.
The young boy that always kicks me out of the bathroom runs up to me when I enter the orphanage, "Yo! Miss Leave! You finally took a shower!"
"What- No! I mean yes! But not just that." I do a peace sign and wink. "Am I not cute now?"
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"Yeah! And you don't smell like horse dung anymore!"
"You're really not letting that go, are you?" I slap him on the back of the head lightly, "Do you know where Frustration lives? I need to ask her something."
"The metal chick? I think Amaris knows, I heard they used to know each other. She should be in her room."
I thank the boy and make my way to her room, I never went there before, actually. I know a couple of times at her door and wait.
"Y-yes?" I hear a quiet voice behind the door.
"It's Leave! I just finished my magical girl audition thing!"
I flinch as the door is yanked open to reveal Amaris in her pajamas and a stupid grin on her face. "It's great! That means- Ha!" She looks down at her clothes, and breathes a sigh of relief. "I thought I was still in my underwear for a second, U-um...Come in! We can't talk about a lot of this stuff in public." She ushers me inside and closes the door behind her. "You look great! Better than I do right now..." She lets out an awkward laugh.
"Ho come on you're cuter than me," I try to pinch her cheeks, but she steps away before I can breach any more of her personal space, "I'm here because I heard you knew Frustration, do you know where she lives so we can arrange the city destruction thing?"
"The...?" She looks at the wall, tapping her cheek. "Ha! The...yes, that."
"Yeah? The whole reason why I became a magical girl, remember?"
"Uhm, yes, that's why. S-sorry, I just got out of bed and uhm...do you...want to talk about it?" her gaze lowers to the floor, "If- if that's okay with you, I mean."
"Talk about what? The plan?"
"Ha, I meant...the first test, most people...I know it's personal but I- I think, uhm..." She taps her cheek faster, I can barely hear what she's saying anymore.
I walk past her and sit down on her bed, I tap the empty spot next to me a couple of times, and she quietly sits on the other side of the bed, as far away from me as the bed will allow.
"It made me think about a lot of things," I say, deciding to stare at the roof. "But I still don't feel quite right, it's like I know what to do but I don't feel strong enough to do them, does that make sense?"
"The first test is always...special, isn't it? I remember it comforted me in a way that no one else did, even though I know so many people care about me. I- I feel so guilty about not being able to accept people's love sometimes and-" Her voice is shaky, but she continues, "I'm- I'm sorry this is about you, it's just I couldn't tell anyone because...confidential things. W-why does it not feel quite right for you?"
"I...I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. It feels like everything's going to change soon, and I don't know if I can take that step just yet, it's hard in a way I can't explain."
"Where does it come from...y- your power, I mean? Mine is from...I don't know, a- a lot of things aren't going well for me, but also I feel like I shouldn't complain because I'm so lucky, so- I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense, am I?" She's crying, trying--and failing--to hide her tears as she turns her face away from me, but her sobbing can be heard clearly from here.
"Luis called me a piece of shit, and I couldn't stop crying for an hour," I say bluntly.
"Huh?" She faces me again--she looks more confused than sad now. "That doesn't sound like him."
"I don't think it was the insult that did me in, it was a bunch of things that just accumulated and I just kind of...broke, I guess. It's okay to cry sometimes, as long as you try to make things better." I wince at my own hypocrisy, I never did try to make things better, did I? Do I deserve to cry then? Maybe I don't, but what does it even mean to deserve something? I certainly don't deserve all that power, or that immortality.
"S-sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend- and a normal job, and a bunch of friends. And I could just...I don't know, do things and have fun and...just be a little bit more selfish." She forces a strained smile. "But I always have so much to do, so many responsibilities. Even though so many people in the orphanage like me, it doesn't feel like...I don't know. It doesn't make me feel better."
"What about Frustration, was she not a friend?"
She scoffs, "She just does whatever she wants--if anything, she makes things worse. So why does she look so much happier than I am? I'm doing the right things, aren't I? Luis too, he's constantly working and not getting much in return, but he's always so calm and collected. I wish I could be like them."
"Maybe you could try talking to Frustration again, you know, communicate. Communication is important, a...friend I had used to say that a lot."
"I don't...I- I always get angry when I see her, I don't think I can..."
"Alright, screw it. I'll do something I really don't want to do, and then you'll HAVE to talk to her, how about that?"
"Wh- what?"
Hyper Communication
UNIVERSE COORDINATE: -1056S / -12L / 50N
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TARGET: SVENTLINARITIKELD
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MESSAGE: Sorry for lying to you, turns out I can communicate between universes, are you doing okay? I'm not doing too good, but I'll manage.
"Alright, message sent! Your turn now!" I point at her dramatically.
"B-but I didn't even agree to anything, what are you- eek!" She squeals as I pull her into a hug and lift her up from the bed.
"I'll hug you tighter if you don't talk with Frustration, you don't have to become friends again, just talk."
"B-but I don't- stop, it's- ha- okay! OKAY!" It only takes a few second for her to give in. "Wh-what's wrong with you? Who even does that? Why do you even care if I'm no longer friends with her?"
"Why do I care?" I smile. "I guess I don't really care, I'm selfishly using you to make myself a better person, and for that I need you to feel better about yourself, simple isn't it?"
Her face goes through every emotion imaginable, fear, confusion, anger--and finally--laughter. After laughing for what feels like hours, she finally regains her composure, "Alright," she says, "but if anything goes wrong, this was your idea, okay?"