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The Endless Isekai
-INF + 14. Love Geometry

-INF + 14. Love Geometry

Lexia sits down next to Cayden on the forest ground. She stares thoughtfully at the bonfire before letting out a heavy sigh.

"Level fifty, huh? I'm halfway there..." Lexia mutters. "I'm levelling up way faster than I thought." I give her the plate of sashimi I prepared; that last fish we fought was massive enough to give us food for at least a week. I hope the next monsters we fight are smaller, there's only so much I can cook before it rots. We end up having to sell half of the things I prepare--the four of us just can't eat it all fast enough.

"Because you're siphoning our experience from every battle," Eda adds. "I know you're doing a lot of damage, but that's just ridiculous."

"I towld you," Lexia says with her mouth full. "I tshek ninetshi pershent of the ekshperiensh, and you tshek ninetshy pershent of the gowld, itsh a fair trade!" Lexia spills chewed up fish on her clothes as she's speaking. Cayden wipes the stains on Lexia with a napkin--but he stops at a spot who is in a location he seems unwilling to clean, and he shyly hands her the handkerchief.

Eda's hands dig into her legs as she clears her throat loudly enough to get Lexia's attention.

"No. It is not, in fact, 'a fair trade'. Experience is a lot more valuable in the long term than whatever gold we get. If it wasn't for..." Eda trails off as I give her the last plate of sashimi. "What are you smiling at?" Eda snaps at me.

"I'm trying to smile more," I reply, unsure of what I've done wrong.

"Sorry!" Cayden raises his hand, as if he's asking a question. "He wanted to learn how to smile, so I...told him to force himself to smile until it comes naturally?" He says the last part like a question, as if he's unsure of what he even said back then.

"Cayden, why would you- Okay, James? Stop smiling, if you force yourself it'll look wrong."

"How can I smile naturally, then?"

"I don't know, okay? Why don't you ask Lexia? I'm sure she's...she's.... DAMNIT!" Eda grabs her head as she screams internally. Cayden and Lexia have a worried expression on their face as Eda breaks down in front of them. "Breathebreathebreathebreathe." Eda inhales a long, deep breath, letting the air simmer in her lungs for a while before slowly exhaling it.

Lexia gets up. "Are you oka-"

"I'M FINE!" Eda winces, as if she's surprised by the volume of her own voice. "I'm just...having a bad day, sorry I- I'm going to sleep early, I'm very tired." Eda picks up her plate and hurries back to her tent.

Lexia is about to follow Eda, but Cayden stops her. "Sorry, Eda gets like that sometimes. It's not anything you did, she just has...moments. It's better if we leave her alone."

"If you say so..." Lexia sits back next to Cayden. Everyone is quiet now, I have no idea if it's because the meal is bad or because of what happened--I'm conflicted as to what I would prefer it to be. But I think the meal was made worse by Eda; I've learned that how you feel can affect the taste of what you eat, which ruins all the hard work I've put into my cooking.

This scene feels familiar actually, like when Lexia stormed back to the tent. But this time Eda took her food with her, so I have no excuse to go back here.

Wait, excuses? Since when did I need excuses to do anything? Why would I even want to see her in the first place--No, I don't want to see her, it just reminds me of when I talked to Lexia that one time, that's it.

That's not it.

I feel like I should go to Eda for some reason, but I can't make sense as to why. It's not a visceral reaction, my body isn't moving on its own or anything, it just feels like what I should do. If I weigh the pros and cons, Eda is more likely to dislike me for bothering her when she wants to be alone, but if I don't, I might regret it later. I don't want to live with more regrets, so the choice is obvious--even if it turns out to be a bad decision, at least it won't be one caused by my inaction.

I get up, taking my plate with me as I follow Eda's footsteps. Cayden lightly protests, saying I really shouldn't bother her when she's like this, but he doesn't really try to stop me. I can hear branches crack beneath my feet as I get closer to the tent; it's far enough from the bonfire that I can't even understand what Cayden and Lexia are talking about back at the bonfire, but not so far that they dissapear from my view. Eda insisted we put the bonfire far from our supplies--just in case it started burning everything around it, but I have a skill that makes bonfires rather safe to use, so it's kind of unnecessary.

I hear Eda's shaky voice from inside the tent as I approach, "Cayden, I'm really okay, you don't need to... You can stay with the others if you want, don't worry about me." It doesn't sound like Eda at all. Is this really her? Can someone really change that much in a few seconds, or was this always what she was like? I can't see her since I'm still outside the tent, but I assume she still looks the same.

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I shake my head. No, emotions makes you do things that aren't necessarily a good representation of who you are. I do not fully understand people, but I take people's words at face value when they tell me something, it is the best I can do. So if she tells me she is okay, and that I should not worry about her--then I will comply. Even then...

"It's not Cayden, I just felt as if I should talk to you." I sit down next to the tent's entrance. I've spent enough time with Lexia to know that entering without warning is a bad idea. She could be doing something very private in there that she doesn't want me to see--like writing a private diary, or practicing a hobby they are bad at.

"You...ho," she sounds disappointed. "It applies to you too, you don't need to worry about me either."

"I wasn't worried about you, I wanted to talk to you."

"Well...now's not a good time, I'm tired, remember? I don't feel like talking."

"If you're tired, that means you aren't okay."

"What? N-no it just means I'm exhausted, I'll be better after a good night's sleep."

"So, why aren't you asleep?"

"B-because you're...!" She laughs meekly. "So that's why Lexia called you annoying, huh..." Her head pops out of the tent's entrance, a strained smile on her face. "You win, come in."

I enter the tent. There isn't much here, two sleeping bags, a couple of books on the side and a half-eaten plate of sashimi next to them. The tents are only a temporary resting place, so it makes sense that there wouldn't be much to comment about here--yet I expected more since I've never been inside Eda and Cayden's tent before, but it's not too different from Lexia's tent.

We both crouch down, so our heads don't bump into the roof of the tent.

Eda isn't wearing her robe; she only has a light gray shirt on her, and shorts that expose most of her bruised legs. It's weird, I don't think I've ever seen Eda without her robe, so it feels as if I'm looking at a completely different person. It's as if her robe gives her the persona of Eda the priestess, and without it, she's just Eda the person--does that make sense? I don't think it does, clothing doesn't change who people are, only how they look.

"So, why did you want to talk to me?" she asks, staring down at her half eaten meal.

"I don't know, I just felt like I should. And if I don't do something I feel like I should be doing, then I'll regret it later, and I don't like that." I try to scan the tent for anything interesting, but my eyes always end up back on Eda. But I don't know what part of her I should be looking at, her face is the obvious choice--but she's staring at the ground right now, so I can't make eye contact with her; staring at her legs doesn't feel right either, and her chest...

I instinctively snap my head upwards, as if my body knew the answer better than my mind did. It's the same warm shiver I felt back when I first met Lexia, I'm still not sure what this feeling is, it's not bad, but it feels too weird to be called good. And It's not consistent, it only shows up when I'm in close physical contact with someone, but I didn't feel it when I was carrying Lexia, so there's clearly some other factor at play. It doesn't really matter though, it's not a feeling strong enough to make me act differently, so I'll figure out what it means later.

"You just felt like you had to talk to me, huh? I guess it really can't be helped then, otherwise you'll just bother me all night long..." she raises a finger. "If we have to talk about something, then how about Lexia, how do you feel about her?"

"I don't feel anything out of the ordinary for her--I don't get why it matters to you and Cayden. If it was Lexia asking how I felt about her it would make sense but-"

"Wait, Cayden asked you the same thing?" She stabs her food with a wooden fork extra hard. "Of course he did. Cayden falls in love very easily, you know? He has a very soft heart. It doesn't take much to impress him, he's had lovers before, you know? But they always left him behind. I'm always the one at his side in the end, so..." She trails a finger along her bruised knees, pressing it hard enough to leave a white mark behind. "I just don't think...someone like Lexia deserves him, that's all."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not entirely sure if I understand what you're trying to tell me."

"I'm telling you..." She blushes, barely getting the last words out of her mouth. "I'm jealous, okay?"

Silence. She keeps stabbing her food without taking a bite; I'm not sure what to say--apart from more questions, but I think that would annoy her. I need to process what she told me into something workable. She's jealous, and she mentioned Lexia and Cayden, she also mentioned lovers. Eda and Cayden have been friends for a very long time so...

"Romantic jealousy...?" I tentatively ask.

She nods, her face even redder than before. "I know it's bad, but I just can't help it!. I- I'm really trying to be a good friend, but every time I see him with her I just-" her hand grasps at the empty air in front of her. "It just makes my blood boil. But I can't tell him why I feel like this, I just feel like I'm screwed no matter what I do."

"Why can't you tell him?" I take a bite of sashimi, I'm kind of sad she's not finishing what I cooked, but I suppose it would make talking harder--I just hope she'll eat it later.

"Because he doesn't feel the same way about me! And if I tell him how I feel, then he'll just think I was with him because of some crush and not... not because I'm his friend."

"Shouldn't you stop loving him then?"

"What?"

"If you've been his friend for a very long time and he hasn't been interested in you romantically this entire time, and you don't want to tell him that you're interested in him, then you should just stop and enjoy his company as is." I nod to myself. This makes a lot of sense, I'm better at this than I thought I was. I only remember romance from books I read when I was still on earth, those memories are very fuzzy but I still have some random trivia from that time.

"What are you talking about- I love him damnit! I can't just turn that off! That's the entire problem!" Tears start welling up in her eyes. "I just don't know what to do..."

"Do you know why I wanted to learn how to smile?" I ask. She shakes her head. "It's because I saw you smile once, and I wanted to do that too. But if you aren't smiling then it'll be harder for me to learn that from you." I put my hand on her shoulder, she's surprised, but she doesn't push me away. "I don't know how to help you, but I do want to make you smile again, so we can just talk until we figure out a solution."

"I...!" She wipes her tears away, and a quiet laugh escape her lips. "As much as I hate to admit it, I feel a little bit better now that I told someone. So I guess... I guess it can't hurt to try." She pokes my cheek. "Just make sure to stop me if I complain too much, okay?"