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The Academy of Sloth
The Fundamentals of Fundamentalists: A Singularly Enlightening Dinner

The Fundamentals of Fundamentalists: A Singularly Enlightening Dinner

Johan arrived in the Hades Dining suite, where he was set to have dinner with representatives from Sloth’s Domain. Entering the room, he was surprised to see far fewer people than he had been expecting. Seeing only Sloth, Alex, Yuu and Elissa there to greet him alongside several guards and servants.

“Ah, it is a pleasure to meet you again,” Johan said as he went up to and embraced each of the representatives, continuing on past them to hug each of the guards and servants, pausing only briefly with a familiar half dozen set of servants.

“The pleasure is all ours,” Sloth replied as he gestured to the table.

“I have been told we have a real treat of roasted Hell Bear.”

“Oh, I do love that meat… If I recall correctly, the spices the bear naturally eats infuse into its flesh, causing it to be spicy?” Johan eagerly said as he sat down.

“That is the case,” Alex replied as the assembled people sat down and watched the servants work as a team to bring out a large platter with a whole roasted Hell Bear.

“Have you been enjoying your time in our humble little school?” Sloth asked as he carved off a slice for himself.

“I’d hardly call it humble. I dare say this place deserves its distinct modifier of ‘The’. I believe there is no other place of education that can compare,” Johan replied as he graciously accepted a plate carved by one of his guards.

“My class can’t help but speak positively of you,” Alex said as he began drenching his food in hellfire sauce.

“Oh yes, they are positively delightful. If I could, I would scoop them all up myself…. You sure that is enough sauce?” Johan jokingly asked, gesturing to Alex’s plate that was now overflowing with the hot sauce.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot myself there. It is easy to be away from the fairies sometimes. I’m sure you can understand.”

“Oh yes, tis a lovely state of mind,” Johan agreed as he settled down.

“No sauce for you, m’lady?” Johan asked, looking at Yuu, who had her own source of food that was decidedly not from the Hell Bear.

“Yuu can’t stand anything spicy. A single ground peppercorn is enough to get her to pass out,” Alex explained.

“Alex?!!! I told you that in confidence…” Yuu seethed as she looked appropriately embarrassed. It was a great source of embarrassment as her entire family were great lovers of curry, and to be the sole exception was awkward at mealtime. Let alone her sheer durability; having such a weakness was none too enjoyable.

“Don’t worry; I shall keep it to myself. Priests often hear confessions that they will take to the afterlife with them,” Johan reassured as he took a sip of wine.

“My gods, this is a fine vintage.”

“It is the first batch from a vineyard I established during my time as Gluttony,” Alex explained as he noticed movement amongst a group of servants with familiar shapes and sizes. Wordlessly gesturing to one of the guards present, he continued his conversation with Johan.

“I have a question, if I may Lord Johan,” Alex began.

“Please, just Johan… I am like you and rose from commonality; even after decades, I find such titles disconcerting.”

“Ok, Just Johan, I have a question,” Alex repeated, which caused Johan to snort in humour, causing a spurt of wine out of his nose.

“Apologies,” He said as he wiped his mouth.

“I was hoping you would explain the fourth house of the pure divines.”

“Ah yes, the excerpt I read did only mention them in passing,” Johan said with a knowing nod.

“Tell me, who do you think they might be?”

“I suspect they are the foundational house,” Sloth suggested.

“That they are; it is upon their backs and labours that the other houses can even exist. Their word is respected by the three that followed,” Johan said with a confirming nod.

“You mentioned Gravtess was the only one allowed to affect their domain. Forgive me if I am wrong, but Anubis and Tyr once mentioned that Gravtess is a true binding force of all reality. So are the first two pure divines somehow related to that?” Elissa asked.

“Oh my, you have contact with gods yourself? Have you ever considered becoming a priestess? With the gods you named, having two pantheons in contact with you means you could even become a bishop.”

“No, thank you, I am content being on friendly terms. I’d hate to be a god botherer.”

“Ha-ha-heh… Indeed god botherer is a good title for our lot. But to answer your question, yes, they are the binding force.”

“Please enlighten us. Otherwise, we will be grasping all night,” Alex said impatiently.

“Indeed… very well, the fourth and silent house is the House of Space and Time. The house, unlike the others, consists of three pure divines.”

“Didn’t the void only shake twice, though, when the one above all shattered?” Sloth asked.

“Indeed it did. The first was the Divine of Space, in which the chaos resided. Then the twin pure divines, Lord History and Lady Fate. Lord History oversees the Akashic Records and keeps track of all that has happened. While his sister weaves the fates of all beings, even those in the divine realm, with very few exceptions.”

“Ah, so that fellow was a pure divine,” Sloth muttered.

“YOU HAVE MET A PURE DIVINE?!!” Johan exclaimed as he rose from his seat and rushed over to Sloth.

“Please tell me what was he like?”

“Rather angry when I last saw him,” Sloth replied.

“Angry?”

“Yes, I was checking out a book from his library, and he was none too pleased.”

“You mentioned exceptions to Lady Fate’s influence?” Elissa asked.

“Yes, they are known as Singularities,” Johan replied as he recomposed himself while returning to his seat.

“Never heard of a Singularity,” Alex muttered as he stroked his beard in thought.

“You haven’t?” Sloth said, surprised.

“My foolish apprentice, surely in all the texts you have read, you have come across the term. It is taught to all high nobles, so they know to look out for one.”

“I was taught it,” Yuu added.

“I wasn’t born a high noble master,” Alex rebuked.

“But you have read all the texts. Samson should’ve taught you this….”

“Oh, maybe it was when I fell asleep during his lectures. He does drone on, so I fell asleep while running an automatic animation spell on my body to keep taking notes.”

“You…” Sloth trailed off as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Unicorns birthing unicorns…” he muttered to himself repeatedly.

In the corner of the room where half a dozen individuals dressed in the ceremonial servant's garb that included large drape-like clothing and hoods and masks. Clothing meant to represent them not being present.

“Maxwell, do you know about Singularities?” Tasha asked.

“Yes, I was taught about them,” Maxwell replied with a nod.

“Excuse me, but I have been asked to escort you away,” the guard Alex had given a wordless gesture to said as he approached the class.

“Why?” Daisy asked imperiously.

“Lord Alexander has gestured that you seem to be a likely disruption.”

“I say, what is going on over there?” Sloth asked.

“My, is that?” Johan began as he looked at the six distinct body shapes.

“I apologise, Just Johan; it seems my students were intent on attending without an invite.”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Oh, don’t apologise; please come join us. The more, the merrier,” Johan said, gesturing to the empty seats at the table.

“Now, where were we? Oh yes, Singularities. A Singularity is an era-defining being. Someone whom even fate cannot control their thread of fate. One prime example I can think of would be the founder of your glorious nation,” Johan explained.

“Lord Hades was a Singularity?” Alex asked.

“Yes, quite a powerful one at that. Singularities you see are truly free of the loom of Fate. Say you were in a tunnel with only one route ahead; which way would you go?”

“Straight ahead or backwards,” Daisy offered.

“Exactly, these are the defined paths that Lady Fate has laid out for you. A singularity, however, could turn left or right and make their own tunnel.”

“Are they common then?” Alex asked.

“Oh heavens no… well not typically… As the name suggests, there is meant to be only a singular example every few centuries. Having more than one would incur the wrath of the House of Balance as they would destabilise the existence.”

“Though I fear we are in for an era of great change.”

“What makes you say that, Mr Johan?” Bea asked.

“In my communications with the gods, I have been told that there have been many Singularities born in the same year.”

“How many is many?” Sloth asked.

“A dozen,” Johan answered with a chuckle.

“A dozen?!!” a few voices exclaimed in unison. The prospect of twelve beings that could shake the world alone, let alone the possibility of them working together, shocked many.

“That is on top of one that was meant to be this era’s Singularity. So we have thirteen beings that could shake an era, all moving around this world simultaneously. It is this strange outcome that caused the divine realm to send the blessed angel Vespasia down to us those twenty-four years ago,” Johan and all the servants and guards from the theocracy lowered their heads in reverence.

“I have met one of these Singularities already, you know?”

“Oh really?” Alex asked, looking more and more eager about this unknown part of the world revealed to him.

“Yes, a young man about your age from the Dune Sea. That boy’s power to tell the truth terrifies me,” Johan admitted.

“What is it then?” Sloth asked.

“He has the gift to persuade anyone,” Johan replied.

“So he has a silver tongue?” Alex joked.

“Silver is too cheap a material to describe his skill. I’d say the most precious metal, Divinium, would be better.”

“He’s that persuasive?” Yuu asked.

“He is currently in the midst of a meteoric rise to the seat of the Sultan of the Grand Bazaar. Such a feat alone is impressive, considering how sly and skilled those merchants all are. I have even heard he sold sand to the nomads of the deserts.”

“So… Is it like charm magic?” Alex asked, emphasising the phrase charm magic.

“I can say it is not. I will admit I am a poor study of magic that is not of the holy school. But his gift is not magically altering a person; it is always saying the right thing to persuade the person naturally. That is why it is terrifying. Even soul strengthening wouldn’t resist him.”

“So, do you know anything about charming spells?” Sloth asked as more of the adults at the table focused their gazes on Johan.

“No, I am rather inept at magic as a whole. Most I can manage from normal schools is a spell to alleviate travel sickness.”

Seeing what had been a friendly conversation begin to warp into what started to resemble an interrogation, the class were left confused, especially as two of the greatest mages in the school were leading this pointed discussion.

“That’s ok, tell me; Just Johan, my class told me you have manasight… Is this true?” Alex asked, changing the path of attack.

“Oh yes, tis a wondrous thing to have, is it not?”

“Tell me, Just Johan… have you ever looked in a mirror?”

“Heh, surely you jest… I plucked my eyes out when I turned twenty and have not needed a mirror since.”

“Maybe he actually is unaware then,” Alex muttered towards Sloth, who nodded in agreement.

“Do you have a divine blessing, Just Johan?” Elissa asked. “Tyr said that the people who know many gods will often be given one.”

“Alas, I have not, for all the pantheons I am connected to, I am bereft of blessings. I am even the only Cardinal in the theocracy without one.”

“Why don’t you just ask for one, then?” Tasha asked.

“Oh, I have, young lady. They all seem reluctant to do so; many even dodge the question entirely,” Johan replied, looking melancholic.

“Master, does the flow look the same to you? Like a swirl around his mouth?” Sloth nodded.

“What are you on about?” Johan asked, looking confused.

“Just Johan, you do, in fact, have a Divine Blessing. A terrifying one at that.” In response, Johan looked utterly baffled.

“No, I really don’t. I have never had a god bless me,” Johan reiterated.

“My Lord, I think it is time we left. They seem to be trying to torment you, and it is clearly causing you distress,” Lobates said as he stepped forwards.

“I am not some young blood at this, Lobates; I am a veritable veteran at this. So I won’t be leaving. Alexander, please explain your meaning?”

“Yes… from my and my master’s manasight, we can see the swirling of a divine blessing,” Alex explained.

“Perhaps it is an unconscious one, and he is genuinely unaware of it?” Sloth suggested.

“Seems likely. Serena herself was unaware she had a blessing till it activated, and hers has a far more visible outcome.”

“This would also explain why he can’t get other gods to bless him, which should’ve been a relatively easy task for a cardinal. He already has a blessing from a god, and they are reluctant to incur this god's ire,” Sloth explained.

“This… It feels like the scales from my eyes have just fallen, and I can see once more pardon the euphemism. I now know why the gods were never willing to bless me,” Johan beamed.

“Please tell me, you two can see the nature of my blessing, yes?” The pair nodded, as did Yuu and Elissa.

“Yes, we can see what it does,” Yuu began.

“What does it do?”

“My Lord, I strongly suggest we leave; they are trying to poison your mind with lies.”

“To put it bluntly, your blessing is brainwashing,” Alex explained to the shock of the majority of the room. Hearing Alex’s explanation, Johan quickly recoiled back into his seat as he began to have a sickly pallor about him.

“Johan, your words are laced with your rather potent mana, and this enables you to sway the hearts of people positively inclined to you. Add that to your genuinely amiable personality and kindness; you are the perfect weapon to sway the masses.”

“This also explains why I find speeches to large crowds exhausting,” Johan looked down at his shaking hands as he continued to turn paler and paler. The guilt was already beginning to overwhelm him.

Contrary to widespread suspicion, Johan was one hundred percent sincere. He was kind to a fault and had as much evil in him as a rather boisterous puppy. He is the kind of man who’d make saints feel cruel.

“Only people with sufficiently trained soul strengthening would be able to hold out against you. Even someone with sufficient training, in the end, could be worn down. That is why my class, after repeated exposure, began to sing nothing but your praises.”

“Wait, sir… we were being brainwashed?” Maxwell asked, shocked by this revelation.

“Yes, you had resisted the most as you were on guard, but it doesn’t matter how on guard you are if everyone around you is speaking positively; you will eventually think a little positively, and that is enough for his blessing to engage.”

“My Lord, we must leave now before they say anymore,” Lobates said as he took Johan by the arm to drag him out of the dining room.

“Lobates… you knew?” Johan asked, looking heartbroken at his bodyguard's knowledge of his blessing.

“Forgive me, my lord… I did… All the Cardinals know of your blessing and its effect. It is part of why you were selected for the seat of Benevolence. But due to your kindhearted nature, it was decided you could never be aware of the gift as you would refuse to use it in such a manner. It is your kindness that even makes you the perfect trump card against these beasts and monsters.”

“Please do not speak of them in such a manner. They are mortals under the gods… same as you and me.”

“This is exactly what I mean… We must go now!!”Lobates insisted as he harshly dragged Johan out of his seat, causing a loud snapping noise to ring out. All present froze at Johan’s ashen face somehow went a shade paler as his arm was now bent at an unnatural angle. Lobates was equally frozen at the sight of what he had done; he had committed the gravest sin for a bodyguard, which was harming your own charge.

Seeing what was going on and confused and conflicted by the swirling mass of new information and feelings, Maxwell snapped. He charged toward Lobates and delivered the strongest punch he had ever delivered. Fully utilising a partial transformation to change only his arms muscles into a wolven arm.

The punch collided with Lobates’ helm and crumpled in the face plate. A loud crunching noise rang out as Lobates’ nose broke. Looking at the stunned crusader guard who let a handful of teeth drop out from his helm Maxwell felt the beast within beginning to overwhelm his senses.

Maxwell transformed his hands into claws and moved to slash at Lobates, whom his bestial blood demanded be laid low. However, as he was midswing, Johan manoeuvred himself between Maxwell and Lobates. Maxwell watched don in mute horror as it was already too late; he felt his claws slash through Johan’s robes and flesh.

All at once guards from both sides drew their weapons. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Though I don’t know why anyone would bring out a knife when everyone is so tense.

Maxwell seeing his blood-soaked claws, came back down from the high his bestial form gave him, and he only connor. He knew this was bad, very bad. In front of many witnesses, he had attacked the bodyguard of a diplomat and then the diplomat himself. A bodyguard who, from their own perspective, was only trying to drag their charge to safety. This was a free casus beli if there ever was one.

“Please, no more violence,” Johan sputtered, looking worse for wear.

“I agree no more violence is needed,” Alex agreed, placing himself between Maxwell and the many armed guards of the Theocracy.

“Perhaps it will be best if you return to your quarters to rest. I will personally send the best healers we have.”

“This is all a ploy to assassinate my Lord, isn’t it?!!!” Lobates screamed with a whistle due to his now missing front teeth. “I will keep my Lord safe from all mongrels and monsters from this-”

“Lobates… please don’t speak about them like that. I’m sure the boy didn’t intend me any harm,” Johan weakly murmured.

“I think it better we take Alexander up on his suggestion and leave to recuperate. Let cooler heads prevail,” Johan insisted. Lobates seeing the seriousness on his lord's face, exhaled a sigh and looked at the rest of the guards who sheathed their weapons.

“We will return to the Temple Maximus Ambulatio; I don’t trust the rooms these people have given us. We will also manage the healing ourselves,” Lobates said, unwilling to concede any further. Johan seeing this weakly, nodded.

The Dark Continent side of those present watched as Johan, now supported by several women wearing tight-clad black bodysuits, left to return to their walking church. Alex let out a deep breath, not realising he had been holding it the whole time.

Turning to look at Maxwell, he was shocked to see how ashen Maxwell looked. He was even shaking.

“Maxwell, you ok?” Alex worriedly asked, only for Maxwell’s eyes to roll back into his head and for him to collapse unconscious.