Arriving at a pair of metal doors coated in gears and holes, the class stopped. Senior and Mel continued walking up to each door and pressed a hand into one of many holes. As they did this, the gears began to turn, and metallic bars started to retract.

“Security is our highest priority,” Mel explained.

“Anyone not authorised or who puts a hand in the wrong hole, boom, Lester has a fainting spell to clean up,” Senior added with a chuckle as the large doors finished opening themselves.

Behind the doors, all but Gunter gasped at the sight before them. Stretching out into the distance was a warehouse-sized room filled to the brim with machines and creations of every kind.

“Welcome to Lockeheathe Workshop,” Senior said as he gestured for them to enter.

Stepping in every sense was suddenly assailed. The lights from the ceiling were far brighter than they were used to and had a flicker to them. Every so often, the light would be blocked by what appeared to be a large floating balloon going around in circles. The aroma of metal and oils and the tingling of magic in the air was enough to liven even the most downcast and distracted class members.

“Now, Tasha, don’t touch anything,” Maxwell warned as he tightly gripped the elf’s shirt collar.

“Awhh, but they all look so cool!!!”

“It’s ok, have at it. Anything you could break was just poorly made.”

“I’m more worried she will get something to go on a rampage.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Junior can confirm we keep the rampagey machines in a vault, not the workshop. Anything here will only go on a bit of a tantrum at worst,” Mel explained, trying to reassure Maxwell only to increase his concern.

“OHHH, WHAT’S THIS?!!!” Alex said as he rushed over to a wall that was plain white.

“Sir, that just looks like a normal wall,” Daisy observed only for Alex to press his hand against it. Immediately the wall began to shift and warp as it changed colour.

“An alchemical experiment. That will display thoughts and create a portrait,” Senior explained as a fuzzy image of a humanoid in a suggestive pose began to take shape. Seeing this, Alex quickly retracted his hand before it could become any clearer than a blurry outline.

“Heh, got my missus on my mind; forget you saw that.”

“What about this one, sir?” Kline asked, holding up a spear.

“Ah, that one is a failure,” Mel said, lowering her head.

“How so?” Kline asked, examining the spear that would’ve put most blacksmith’s work to shame.

“It is meant to shoot forwards to twice its length and rotate at high speed,” Senior explained. “Go on, give it a thrust and see what we mean.”

Kline obeyed their suggestion and thrust the spear forwards. Being a spear user himself, his form was perfect from countless drills. Immediately the spear shot forwards and began to spin at a speed that it could’ve drilled a hole in wood.

“How is this a failure?” Kline asked as he retracted the thrust only to make the spear become a short spear. “You mean this?”

“No… the short spear option was also part of the design. I’m ashamed to mention this, but it only extended ninety percent of its original length. It fell short of the full double length.”

“BUT IT’S STILL GOOD?!!!”

“No, we failed our goals. So it is a failure.” Kline looked at the spear for a moment before looking up at Senior and Mel.

“Can I have it then?”

“Sure, we were just going to melt it for scrap. If you can find a use for that piece of junk, then we have no reason to stop you.”

“Wait, can we get new weapons?” Tasha asked, her eyes gleaming.

“If you can find anything here, sure, nothing on the house walls, though. Those would cost you a country to buy.”

“Senior sir… I heard from Gunter you do civil engineering to pay for your research. But if your successful creations are worth so much, why not sell one of them?” Maxwell asked curiously as he looked through a magnifying glass at a tiny magic circle carved into a coin.

“Selling a weapon from our successes would be shameful. We are creators, not arms dealers.”

“I see…”

“He means they haven’t been licenced. You need to prove your weapons are not too dangerous for the wielder. We make stuff only the most powerful people in the world could use,” Mel explained.

“And survive,” Senior added.

“WHAT… IS… THAT?!!!” Tasha asked as she ran up to what looked like a normal carriage, except it had armour plates bolted on its exterior and two long boxes along the length on either side of the body. Looking at the carriage, both Mel and Senior got really proud looks on their faces as they approached it.

“Young lady… son… all our son's friends and his teacher, we are proud to present to you the latest in Lockeheathe engineering,” Senior began in a very salesman-like voice.

“The one... The only… APC!!!” Mel added as they stood on either side of the carriage and made jazz hands towards the static carriage.

“APC?” Tahsa parroted, confused.

“It stands for Armoured Punching Carriage,” Mel helpfully explained.

“Punching?” Alex echoed.

As if to answer his question, Senior snapped his fingers, and the boxes on the side of the carriage opened up to reveal a quartet of metal arms, two on each side. Both pairs of arms flexed to show off non-existent muscles before trying to punch both of Gunter’s parents in the back. With the swift speed of someone expecting the strike, they moved out of the way.

“It is the latest in military technology. Ride it into the middle of the enemy and watch as it decks them in the face,” Senior explained, continuing his sales pitch.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“It will not tire, it will not bleed, it will fight till it leaves the enemy all dead!!”

The class circled around Alex as they watched the carriage continue to try and punch its creators, who were striking celebratory poses as they finished their pitches.

“So what do you think?” Senior eagerly asked as he approached Alex and the class.

“Why is it still trying to swing at us, Dad?” Gunter asked.

“Ah yes…” Senior suddenly looked down and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“It still has a few kinks to sort out,” Mel hastily explained.

“Is it something me or the chief could fix?”

“Oh no, it’s not a problem with the enchantment or artificing. It is a problem with the golem mind that has taken shape within the carriage itself,” Senior explained.

“What do you mean, Dad?”

“Son, when we said kinks, we more meant it asked to be whipped like the horses and not there’s a small issue with the enchantments.”

“Oh…ohhhhh,” Gunter said upon realisation.

“So it likes being whipped?” Daisy asked. “Who would like that?”

“You know any ironwood elves?” Mel asked, only to see Alex shaking his hands and head vigorously.

“If so, they are really cool people. But you seem a bit too pure to understand this one.”

“But I want to know what you mean?!!”

Bea walked up to Daisy and got her to crouch to her height so she could whisper something. Immediately Daisy’s face went beet red as she stood up and retreated backwards.

“There are people like that?!!!!”

“Oh, Daisy never change,” Bea muttered with a smirk.

As they continued through the workshop, every so often, the class would examine machines or weapons. The few that caught their fancy were added to their new growing collection. Only as they continued, Senior and Mel suddenly stopped in front of a small golem with a broom trundling up and down the aisle.

“Is that?” Gunter began only for Mel and Senior to bow towards the little golem.

“Mum, Dad?!!! Why are you bowing to McStabby?”

“That is honorary Sinful Lord McStabby to you,” Senior admonished.

“Honourary… you can’t be serious?”

“You know this golem, Gunter?” Bea asked only for him to nod.

“First golem I ever made. It was only to help Lester with cleaning, but me and my friends strapped a sword and held little golem fights,” Gunter explained with a nostalgic smile on his face.

“Why, though, is it an honourary Sinful Lord?”

“Lady Crozonia visited the workshop a few years ago, and McStabby still had the sword on… and well McStabby accidentally stabbed Crozonia.”

Gunter instantly paled. He knew Crozonia was eccentric, but harming the Dark Lord, the ruler of the continent, was a serious offence, whether it was on purpose or not. Being the golems creator could mean he would be held responsible.

“She admired the little golem and bestowed it the title of honourary Sinful Lord of Stabbiness.”

“That does sound like something her most august majesty Crozonia would do,” Alex said as he nodded. “Gunter, it is easier not to overthink this. Eccentricity becomes more prevalent the higher you go. Even his most august majesty Dark Lord Apophis, her most august majesty’s Crozonia’s father, did something similar,” as he explained this, Alex’s eye began to twitch in annoyance.

“He…he named a horse a duke at one point during his reign.”

“Apophis did that? Was he crazy?” Maxwell asked, having never encountered such an event.

“He more did it to insult the high nobles. Less, ‘I dun make mah horse a duke’ and more, ‘You guys are so incompetent my horse can do a better job’. Granted, when he cast awakening to grant it sapience, it did go on to prove his point.”

The class decided to press on rather than further dig into their homeland's increasingly bizarre history. They began to wonder why the Victors didn’t record this, only to realise their history books weren’t written by the order of Victors.

Arriving at the very back of the workshop, they came to a large object covered in a tarp. Mel and Senior both walked on either side of the object and gripped the cloth.

“We were going to leave this till later, but we can’t wait. I feel like a child just before winter’s gifting,” Senior said with a child-like grin on his face. With a unified heft, both pulled the tarp off the object, revealing a large ship.

The first thing the class noticed was the ship’s hull was plated in the same armour as the APC before. What was also noticeable was there were no paddles nor sails for the ship to propel itself.

“Is it going to be oar driven?” Kline asked, examining the ship up close.

“No, that would be against the rules,” Mel answered.

“Rules?”

“This beaut is for the Jormanganda Race. One of the rules is the river’s current is the only form of propulsion permitted. Oars onboard are to get back to land after the river spits you out into the sea.”

“She’s for the race?” Kline asked, his hand recoiling.

“SHE LOOKS SO COOL!!!” Tasha beamed as she hopped onto the deck and began whooshing around to various points on the ship to examine it.

“Yes, she is; we were going to enter this year.”

“Were? As in, not anymore?” Gunter asked.

“Yes, Junior. Our usual crews are all refusing to go on this ship.”

“Why?” Bea asked.

“Last few of our ships…errr… they fell apart in the river,” Senior replied with a nervous chuckle.

“So they don’t trust this ship?” Alex asked as he ran a hand along the hull.

“We even made new weapons for the second-half combat zone,” Mel explained, holding up a siege ballista with a crazy-looking bolt on it.

“This bolt we called the hull splitter was going to be a sure hit killer,” Mel added despondently as she fired the bolt into a nearby wooden ship hull that had been set up. The bolt lodged itself in the hull then a spring-loaded mechanism in the bolt head sprang open, forcing the hull boards apart.

“That looks nasty,” Bea observed as she paused in thought. “What would you say to us becoming your crew?”

“You would do that?” Senior asked, surprised.

“Would we?” Kline added, looking worried.

“Yes, I don’t mind,” Bea replied with a sure nod.

“Bea, are you sure you want to do this?” Gunter asked her in a whisper.

“After meeting your folks, I want to make a good impres… Ahem, I mean, I always wanted to participate in the race,” Bea replied hastily, correcting herself.

“Very well then, I will help Bea out,” Gunter said, stepping forwards.

“Ohh, sounds fun!!!” Tasha said as she hopped down to the ground. “I will join as well.” Maxwell exhaled a long sigh as he stepped forwards.

“She will fall overboard and drown without me there, so I guess I’m in.”

“I need something to get my mind off of stuff, so I will also join,” Daisy said, stepping forwards.

“I… I will join as well. I’ve been getting braver and braver, and this is a perfect chance. I might not even need that magic circle I picked anymore.”

As Kline said this, the class all jolted in surprise. They had entirely forgotten the magic circles they had picked at the start of their time with Alex. Looking at their teacher, they saw a smug grin that clearly said, ‘I didn’t forget; how could you?’.

“We can sort that out later… sir are you joining us?” Daisy asked.

“Oh, I was part of the crew the second Bea joined. If anything having you all there lessens the work for me.”

“PERFECT!!!” Mel boomed as she picked up the entire class teacher and all in a hug with her eight arms.

“We will send the crew list post haste!!”

“Class, we will not be participating to win. Anything beyond the Serpent's head Isle will become deadly. We will be with the funsters rather than the pros. We just need to prove their ship won’t sink,” The class nodded in acknowledgement of this one concession.