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The Academy of Sloth
Meet the Parents: Ironwoods

Meet the Parents: Ironwoods

July 20th, year 024 Angels Descent

The class, with two of their teachers, were en route to the Ironwoodlands. They had been on the road for a few days as the Ironwoods themselves were at the far west of Greed’s domain, and the gate was more central to the region.

“So, you kids ever been to the Ironwoods?” All but Tasha and Alex shook their heads to indicate no.

“I’ve apparently only been once when I met Elissa’s father… at least that’s what my journal said… memory is still hazy for me… Yuu, you’ve been here a few times, right?”

“Yeah, when master got tired of me making machines that destroyed buildings, he threw me to the elves to ‘play’, as he called it.”

“Any advice? Elissa hasn’t really talked about her home much, so I’m kind of in the dark myself.” The class focused their attention on Yuu, who held her hands to her hips and puffed her chest with pride.

“Of course, young one, I shall educate you as you do your students. After all, I am an expert in interacting with Ironwood Elves!!”

“Yuu… you are like a few hours older than me; I wouldn’t call me young?”

“Silence, young one!”

“So what should we do then? Are there any rules like for courting an Ironwood elf?” Maxwell asked, glancing at Tasha.

“Well, first off, ignore Tasha,” Yuu said bluntly. “Second, a big thing to remember is there are three clans of Ironwood elves. First are the worker folk; they do the everyday stuff. The second is the warrior clans; they are self-explanatory. Finally, there are the outside clans.”

“Outside clans?” Bea repeated.

“Oh, I’m part of that!!!” Tasha said, beaming a smile at everyone.

“They are clans not taught the normal ways of Ironwood elves. This is so they can actually interact with the outside world and not cause a diplomatic incident.”

“Uh… what do you mean?” Daisy asked, only to follow Yuu’s gaze towards Alex.

“Oh yeah… Elissa is part of the Warrior Clan, and the first time I met her, she gave me a friendly little bump to the chest.”

“That sounds cute,” Daisy muttered, thinking of all the times she had seen the pair be so lovey-dovey.

“Cute bit was when he flew through three walls and shattered his spine.”

“WHAT?!!!”

“Yeah, the warrior clan greet people they consider as friends with a full-force punch. It’s why their warriors are weirdly durable and able to endure considerable pain,” Yuu explained, glancing at Tasha, who had learnt such a skill from Elissa herself.

“So first rule, you see any elf with a weapon, flip them off, stick out your tongue and be as rude as possible. The second they think you are a friend, you will suffer for it.”

“My brother has been brought here?” Daisy muttered, feeling a pang of panic about her brother receiving such treatment.

“Oh, don’t worry; Elissa will keep them safe.”

“So, will they treat the Big Chief like a friend?”

“Oh yeah, certainly… this one, however,” Yuu said, gesturing to Alex.

“I’m technically rather hated by the Ironwood elves.”

“Why? Aren’t you marrying their princess?” Daisy asked, shocked.

“Well, need I remind you her brother took an arena full of noble children with high-ranking lords hostage to rescue her? They adore Elissa. I’m just the human bastard who stole her away.”

“To be honest, sir, from what Miss Yuu has told us, why don’t they just kill you?”

“Blunt question Maxwell but a thing to remember Elves live for a very long time. They see me more as a short fling that’ll last a few decades, maybe a century or two. After which, I’ll die, and she’ll move back.”

“And you’re ok with this?”

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“Maxwell… a thing you’ll learn when you find the one… you will never care what the world thinks so long as you can be with her,” Alex replied as he looked out the window wistfully.

“We’re almost at the first town,” the carriage driver announced. “I ain’t gonna take you any further.”

“Good, we can get some rest in a real bed,” Kline grumbled.

Stepping out of the carriage, the class came face to face with their first experience of an elf settlement. They had originally had the image of what had always been written about elven homes. Buildings entwined with trees. Great structures as if moulding nature itself.

The image before them was an entirely metallic set-up. Every building was coated in metal plates and had countless spikes. Worse still was the severed monster heads resting on each building's roof.

“Big Chief?”

“You won’t get much rest outside the Ironwoods capital. This region is infested with monsters that attack every night.”

“Why would they settle in a region with monsters?!!!” Kline cried out.

“The majority of their population are warriors. Where else can they get a good fight?” Yuu replied.

“So Miss Elissa had to fight every night since she was a child?” Daisy asked once again, feeling worry begin to bubble up.

“You didn’t?” Tasha asked, looking perplexed. “Everyone around here, regardless of clans, learns how to fight monsters from when we first can walk. Only the warrior clan focuses on it and gets all the fun.”

The class decidedly ignored Tasha’s comment and chose a fortress-looking inn for where they would rest for the evening. Though they weren’t certain how much rest they’d get, especially after seeing the monster head hanging near the entrance. The innkeeper welcomed them with open fists, only to be rebuffed as they had been instructed to do.

“Fine, here’s your keys, you ungrateful pieces of crap!”

Throwing the key at the class, they only barely dodged as they lodged themselves into the wall behind them. A wall they couldn’t help but notice had numerous holes from past throws of the keys.

“Me and Yuu are gonna settle in at the tavern and have a few. You can get some rest,” Alex said as he sat at a table, ignoring the baleful glares pointed in his direction.

“Come get us if you need help,” Yuu added as she ignored an elf actively punching her in the face.

The class settled into a large room with bunkbeds enough for the whole class and their teachers. As they rested, trying to clear away the fatigue of a long journey, the hours began to pass.

“So Tasha… what are your parents like?” Maxwell asked, looking up from his spot on a bottom bunk.

“They are rather boring. Daddy works as a clerk in Hades seat. Mum works as a monster cleaner.”

“Monster cleaner?” Daisy repeated.

“Yeah, the dead bodies of monsters we slay we display on our buildings to show how strong a monster we beat. Well, after a while, they go icky and need cleaning. Mum handles that.”

“So, the really big monster head we saw near the entrance?”

“Yeah, means the guys here must be really strong.”

“I’m starting to wonder what I should fear more, the monsters or the elves,” Bea muttered as she snuggled on Gunter’s chest.

“Not sure what you mean… but I’m sure my family will love Stampy,” Tasha proudly took the small creature out of her travel bag, where it proceeded to munch on a piece of plant she offered it.

“Kwooooon!!!”

“I’m more wondering what they’ll think of me,” Maxwell muttered to himself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“Sparky… come on, boy, I got some snakkums for you,” Daisy said as she held out a piece of travel jerky for her duck-sized dragon. The small creature poked its head out of her travel pack and snatched the dried meat before retreating.

“He’s been rather scared lately,” Daisy muttered.

“Probably the field of danger here,” Tasha replied as she scratched Stampy’s long neck.

“Danger field?” Kline echoed, looking nervous.

“Can’t you feel it?” Tasha asked, looking confused. “Try to feel the aura.”

Relaxing, the class focused their senses, and that was when the pressure began to rise. They had been able to ignore it so far as it had become more like background noise. It was nowhere near as bad as when their instructors pressured them directly. But it was enough to cause minor discomfort.

“What is that, Tasha?” Bea asked.

“That is, um… it's all the monsters' aura getting spread across the woods.”

“So what we are feeling is…” Kline began before trailing off with a look of horror.

In one of their lectures with Alex, he had taught them you can increase the density of aura in an area by focusing and compacting it, but the problem with that is it reduced the range. Another option was you could increase the number of people releasing aura. Experiencing this pressure from a vague distance meant the numbers must be considerable or very strong. Likely both from what had been described.

“Why in the hell would people live here?!!!”

“Well, the trees were the original reason,” Tasha replied, oblivious to how nervous Kline was starting to become.

“The trees are really big, and iron whatsits grow through them. That’s why they call them ironwood trees. Also, my ancestors liked fighting and making friends, so here they could do both.”

As the class began to ponder who unhinged and crazy Tasha’s people must actually be, the entire inn violently shook. Jumping from their beds, the class immediately went into action mode and rushed down the stairs to find several of the inn’s staff rushing out the front door with weapons.

Looking around, they found their teachers relaxing with drinks, still having a friendly conversation as if they were oblivious to the dangers outside. Running towards the pair, they stood at the ready.

“Oh hey kids, me and Yuu were about to grab a deck of cards. Want to join in a game or two?”

“Sir, the inn is under attack!” Daisy shouted indignantly.

“And?” Alex replied, tilting his head.

“We should help!” Maxwell answered as if stating the obvious.

“Why?” Yuu answered this time. Both teachers looked confused. Ignoring the cries for help and pained screams coming from outside.

“Because, sir, you have the power to help!!!” Daisy shouted.

“And that makes me beholden to them? Daisy, I gained this power to ensure my freedom to do what I wanted. It may seem callous, but just because I have the power to help does not mean I or anyone else are under any obligation to help.”

“Big Chief, please help!!” Gunter pleaded.

“Sorry, but the dork is right. We may have the strength to help resolve many situations, but people do not grow if someone else solves every little thing.”

“Kids… this is a lesson you will need to learn someday… You can’t help everyone, and in reality, you shouldn’t. You will either run yourself ragged or become someone else’s tool. Gain power to ensure freedom. If you kids want to help, you can go and help. But me and Yuu here will be starting a professional game of snap.”

“Fine, we will go out and help them!” Bea shouted indignantly as the class stormed out of the tavern and out into the town.

The sight that greeted them was one of abject chaos. There were already a few collapsed buildings, and they could see people running around in a panic. Down the road from their inn, they could even see the remains of one of the attacking monsters.

It was a giant beast about the size of a two-storey tall building. It was covered in boney plates that, even from how far away they were standing, looked needlessly thick. While its tail looked like a massive boney club, the kind used by giants.

“Earthen Drakes… Armoursauses, if I had to guess,” Maxwell said, looking at the remains.

“What can we do then?” Bea asked as she channelled her energy into bringing out her possession summon.

“We can spread out in teams of two. One enhancer and one projection and focus on the small fry,” Kline suggested as he fired an accurate shot that took the head off a small turkey-sized lizard monster.

“Ok, Kline and Tasha, you go that way. Gunter and Bea, you go to the south. Maxwell, you and me will head east,” Daisy declared. Maxwell hesitated for a moment looking at Tasha before nodding. With their plans decided, the class split up to face the attack.

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