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The Academy of Sloth
Lesson #13: First Aid

Lesson #13: First Aid

The class had returned from their eventful spring break and were taking the regular lessons while looking forward to their next lesson, with Alex wondering what it would cover—even wondering if today would be a guest lecturer day.

Arriving at his classroom, they burst in to find him casually leaning back in his chair, his feet on his desk with a book in his hands. Lowering the book to look at the arriving students, Alex casually took out a pocket watch and checked the time.

“Wow, must’ve gotten absorbed in the book. Welcome, class; we have a quick fifth-period lesson, and this one will be one where I duck out, but I have got a guest to join us to instruct you for sixth,” Alex explained, gesturing to the back corner of the classroom in the blindspot of the doorway where a bedraggled man was sleeping.

The class, though, knew better than to judge based on appearance considering this was the trick Alex had pulled on the very first day, appearing like a homeless beggar only to unveil his secret test, which they had thankfully passed.

“So, who is he, sir?” Maxwell asked, taking the lead.

“His name is Hadean Careniff.”

“Never heard of him?” Daisy muttered, glancing at the man.

“Be surprised if you had; I met him in a bar last night.”

“You… Sir, please tell me that is a joke?” Maxwell asked, scowling at Alex, who held his hands up in surrender.

“No jokes here, just pure solid facts. When have I ever lied to you?”

“When you abandoned us to the sewers?” Bea pointed out.

“Ah, but I never said I’d be with you. You kids got to learn to stop assuming stuff. You especially Bea, I thought they bred that mindset into you, Blackgates? Has my gold coin trick from your first lesson really been forgotten?” Alex asked in an over-dramatic fashion.

“So what is his speciality?” Maxwell asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

“Fire magic,” Alex replied with a grin. “I got the old ruined arena booked out so you kids can go hog wild. I expect to see pillars of fire from the council room.”

“I shall reserve my opinion till he has woken up and taught us something.”

“Fair enough. Ok, first things first, to your starting positions,” Alex said, gesturing to the doorway. Going to the spot where they always started their lesson, they all got ready for the pressure. Alex gave a knowing nod to Daisy as he began.

The pressure was unlike anything they had experienced before. It was far more intense than the pressure Crozonia had given off in the throne room. Each of the class were struggling to stand, and one of the windows closest to Alex began to show cracks.

“T-this is too…much, s-sir,” Kline stuttered out between gritted teeth as he inched forwards. The pressure was so great they couldn’t even keep their heads up to look at Alex, who was just relaxing in his seat, radiating pure pressure.

“I can’t stand much more, chief!” Gunter grunted as he edged further.

“Woah, I heard you were spartan, but this is outright abuse,” a cheery voice said as the class heard footsteps approach them. Soon Maxwell found himself looking at a pair of well-worn boots.

“You ok, kid?” the cheery voice asked. “Yo Alex, were you always this scary?” the voice asked as he spun around, and the class heard the footsteps approach Alex.

“Shut it, Haddy; they need to get stronger and fast,” Alex shot back.

“But you are gonna break ‘em. Sure, pressure makes diamonds, but it can also make dust.” With that plea, the pressure vanished, and the class looked up to see the bedraggled man standing in front of Alex glaring at him eye to eye. Approaching the pair who were locked in a staring contest, the class were curious as to what was going on.

“I wouldn’t approach kids,” Alex warned out the side of his mouth.

“He’s right, kids; this is intense!” Hadean said as he kept his gaze locked and unblinking. The class could even swear they could see sparks flying between their eyes.

“Hey, Alex just came to check you hadn’t ‘forgotten’ your council… What are you two doing?” Yuu grumbled as she entered the classroom.

“We were doing our soul exercises, and Professor Hadean asked him to stop being so tough,” Tasha helpfully explained. Yuu just sighed, rolled up the bundle of drawings she was carrying, and bapped both men’s heads.

“HAH, YOU BLINKED FIRST!!” Hadean laughed as he fist-pumped.

“I call foul. That was outside interference!”

“What were they doing?” Daisy asked.

“Staring contest, the loser has to capitulate to the winner's demand,” Yuu explained.

“But they are adults?”

“Daisy, they are also boys. The weird thing with those things, even the ones centuries-old are immature,” Yuu said with a sigh.

“You’re one to talk short stack. How goes the giant golem building, aye?” Hadean teased, only to get gut-punched by Yuu.

“Don’t forget the meeting,” Yuu said, turning to Alex.

“Yeah, it’s why I got Haddy here. He’s going to teach the kids fire magic.”

“Haddy?” Yuu turned her gaze to Hadean and then back to Alex. “I know we got stuff going on but turning children into people like him is insane even by your standards.”

“Hey, calm down, Yuu!” Alex said, holding his hands up defensively. “He is getting them to smooth out edges to their casting and technique. Nothing absurd like some of the stuff I’ve told you he can do.”

“He better,” Yuu muttered, poking Alex with the rolled-up drawings. “Otherwise, I will have a legal reason to dump more of my council work on you.” With her warning given, Yuu left the class and closed the door.

“Fun as ever, I see,” Hadean groaned as he pulled himself up with Alex’s desk.

“She’s only like that with you, you know?”

“So, class, today's fifth period will cover the basics of first aid,” Alex declared as he gestured for Hadean to return to his seat.

“First aid?” Tasha repeated.

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“Yes, Yuu told me you lot kind of panicked and weren’t aware what to do when Gunter there got hit by the bolt. It took Yuu giving direct, sharp orders for you to get out of the stunned ‘oh crap’ mindset and help. So we’re going to drill the basics of injury triage into your heads.”

“What do you know about the body of all mortal beings?” Alex asked as the class settled into their seat.

“They are weak?” Tasha suggested.

“No… well depends on where you stand. But no, all mortal beings are big bags of blood, bones and organs. Injuries happen when one of these three are not the way they should be.”

“This is kind of obvious, isn’t it, sir?” Maxwell asked.

“Yes, but never gloss over the basics. What you may think everyone knows may not be known to everyone. Hell, in some cases, common knowledge is lost entirely.”

“Like what?” Daisy asked as she eagerly scribbled her notes down.

“Secondian Mortar. The recipe is written down but doesn’t work like old and already set mortar. That’s because there is something that was so common sense to them they didn’t bother recording it.” The class nodded, understanding the concept with that example.

“Ok, class, let's use an example we all became familiar with. What should you do when someone is hurt with a projectile?”

“Yank it out?” Tasha asked.

“No, Tash, Yuu even said not to do that because… Sir, is it we leave it in?” Bea asked.

“Yes, because we are big sacks of blood, bones and organs. A hole will mean we leak one of those. If the projectile goes in far enough, it might’ve hurt another of those three. So we avoid moving it as best as we can because it is like a cork in a wine bottle keeping it in.”

“Why did Yuu yank it out then?” Tasha asked.

“From what she told me, it had only pierced the surface, and she could heal the skin, thus keeping everything inside. But if it had gone deeper, she wouldn’t have pulled it out,” Alex explained, to which Tasha nodded.

“Could we use healing magic as we slowly remove it?” Daisy asked.

“Depends how good a healer you are. Do you know the physical strengths and weaknesses of multiple races? Do you know the right amount of pressure to apply?” Daisy just shook her head.

“No… These are things healers need to know. It’s why healing is still a specialised field. There is no one fix-all spell in healing. You use the healing spell geared towards the internals of a titan on someone like Bea; then you will kill them as it’ll grow titan organ parts.”

“T-that… that sounds terrifying,” Kline muttered, looking at the pair.

“Indeed, it is why healing magic isn’t taught to students who are not going to specialise in it. I will teach you some basic triage spells, though, that can seal cuts and the like as those can be generalised.”

“Why’s that chief?”

“Simple skin, whether you are an elf, werebeasts or even a titan like yourself, has no real difference in structure. The only difference, though, would be if we used it on a cut on your hand, that sliver healed wouldn’t be armour skin.” Alex said, gesturing to each of the students as he did.

“The spell you’ll need is as follows,” Alex went up to the free chalkboard and began writing magic script.

“KNITAS, COLATIVAH, DERMIS,” Alex read each word aloud as he pointed to it.

“An essential thing to remember is clean the wound before you chant. Anything in the cut can end up healed over, and you will need to cut it out.”

“Gods, that sounds gross,” Bea said grimly as she wrote down the chant.

“Sure is little miss. It is even how mages first discovered the drawbacks of implanted mana stones,” Hadean added from his spot at the back.

“Haddy, you will have your turn,” Alex said, shooting a scowl Hadean's way, who returned to his reclined position and pulled his hat down over his eyes.

“Anyways, this is how you deal with open wounds and minor scrapes. Don’t use it for anything unnecessary, though,” Alex warned.

“Why not?” Tasha asked.

“Its mana cost is very high. You are actively trying to warp the body of another with your mana. So their mana responds and blocks it. It is actually that blocking mana that causes the healing phenomena. So it’s important not to use it on anyone mana-out.”

“I’ve always wondered what would happen if a mage could remain conscious and cast a spell when mana-out?” Maxwell asked as he continued taking his notes.

“Oh, we know the answer to that question. Some mages with iron wills remained conscious and tried another spell.”

“What happened then?”

“The spell cast,” Alex replied.

“He’s not telling you everything,” Hadean shouted from the back.

“It’s called suspense, Haddy. Now shut up, or I will shut you up!”

“Try it, you big dork. You can’t be so tough without your big sister to protect you,” Hadean replied with a smirk.

“Hey, Haddy,” Alex said as he held up his right hand and began making a cranking motion with his left, only to raise his middle finger slowly. Hadean tipped his hat up a bit to glance at the gesture. “I got something for you,” Alex said, removing the middle finger and throwing it at him.

“Now shut up!” Alex shouted, taking out a fresh middle finger from his pocket and locking it into place.

“As I was getting to, before fire-in-his-loins, Haddy over there interrupted. They did suffer a very bad backlash.”

“W-w-what kind, sir?” Kline stuttered, feeling the intense glares of both men as he was caught directly between the pair.

“I’ve already told you mana is excess soul energy created, and that soul energy is your life force. If there is no mana, there is still life force.”

“You don’t mean…” Maxwell began before trailing off.

“Yes, you surrender lifeforce and are hit twice as bad. The higher the grade, the worse the cost.”

“I can’t even imagine what it would look like.”

“Maxwell, I’m sure you could. An imperial seal's punishment syphons your soul energy in punishment. Me nearly bleeding out just beginning to mention something is roughly equivalent to a grade five spell cast after mana out.”

“Gods…”

“Anyways, you kids all got the chant written down… Tasha?” Tasha nodded, holding up her notebook, which had half a page in infantile script, only to suddenly change into a highly precise script.

“I started making proper notes after I found my notebook, for some reason, thrown behind my bed. I think one of the little kids in the dorm got their hands on it. It’s just a name written over and over with love hearts. No idea who, though; as you can see, it looks like they wrote it with their mouth.”

“Per…Perfect. Next first aid spell if bone mend. It has similar issues to the skin healing spell. You have the added issue of making sure the bone is set right. But we can go into detail on that in a future lesson. An important bit to remember is that bone healing is a patch fix at best. Something to get you able to move to reach a real healer.”

Alex approached the board. He had written the skin heal chant and removed one of the words, and added a new one.

“The chant is, KNITAS, COLATIVAH, OSTEOSIS. This one, as I said, will only do a patch fix, don’t rely on it. This one also has an even higher mana cost than the last one, as you aren’t affecting the surface but the internal structure. Be warned; even experienced healers can go mana-out casting this one.”

“If the person's mana can defend against spells, how did you ignite a set of lungs, sir?” Daisy asked.

“He did what?” Hadean shouted in shock.

“I read into him when the call out for students for his class first appeared. He became Sloth’s apprentice because he ignited the air inside a monster's lungs, killing it.”

“Such a brilliant idea… Why didn’t I think to do that?” Hadean muttered to himself.

“Because you like to be flashy and showy,” Alex replied.

“Shush, I’m trying to work out the mechanics of your spell.”

“Anyways, to answer your question, I did have to overcome mana resistance. For both the air alteration spell and the ignition.”

“GENIUS!!” Hadean cried out as he took a pocketbook and began scribbling notes.

“But only the same resistance of a surface healing spell. As lungs, stomach, oesophagus so on are all exposed to the outside; the mana considers them exposed surfaces and has less resistance,” Alex explained.

“Dammit, if it’s air alteration, then I won’t be able to… Wonder if Rozoic will teach me?”

“Haddy, please will you-” Alex’s plea for Hadean to quieten down were interrupted by the bell ringing, indicating the start of the sixth period.

“Off to the council meeting with you. I will show these kids a good time,” Hadean said as he quickly rose and began ushering Alex out of the classroom.

“Wait, kids, I have homework for you; it’s in the envelopes on the desk,” Alex cried out just as Hadean slammed the doors back closed and turned to look at the class with a grin that would’ve put Alex to shame.