July 11th, year 024 Angels Descent
It was the day for the race to start, and the racers were all making their final preparations. Over the previous day, Yuu had won the fight to make modifications to the Trouser Surprise. All while Alex and Senior struggled to break free of the steel bars she had twisted to tie them up.
Over the previous day, even more, competitors had arrived. The strangest of the new arrivals was a long kayak piloted by nearly a hundred gnomes. Each Gnome on the Kayak had a wooden panel the size of a standard tower shield with a bonus panel on their backs.
The other and by far the weirdest arrival was a man who showed up in his trunks with a swimming cap on his head. At first, many of the crowd had tried to convince him to stop. It was certain death to enter the river in anything that didn’t float. But he had ignored them and even put a hefty bet down on himself to win.
“ALRIGHTY THEN, LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND BEINGS OF INDETERMINATE DISTINCTIONS ARE… YOU… READY?!!!” An announcer's voice echoed over the port area where the contestants were waiting.
A near-deafening cheer went up from not only the crowd watching the start of the race but also the various teams. Even the class joined in the cheer. The only ones not pumping their fists in the air were Alex and Senior due to them being tied up. They still gave their own little attempt at a fist pump.
“PERFECT GLAD TO HEAR YOU ALL BEING SO SPIRITED!!!” It was as he responded to the cheers the class finally saw where he was standing.
A platform made out of several flying golems, a rare golem was floating above the river and moving around in a sweeping motion as if letting the announcer take a good look at every one of the competitors himself.
“NOW, WE WILL CHANGE THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE THIS YEAR!!” This announcement caused a stir among everyone present.
“Normally, your position in the starting lineup would be decided by the order in which you arrived. This year, however, to let the people who got caught in bandit traffic, we will be using the old-fashioned draw method. Can we please get a representative from each team to head up to the platform?”
As he said this, his floating platform gently glided down to the ground landing with a soft thud. Hopping down, the announcer took out a jar and waited for the representatives to arrive.
“Who should we send up?” Kline asked as the entire class just looked at him as if the question was necessary.
“No, guys, I don’t want to be the one to go up,” Kline tried rejecting the suggestion. He knew all too well with his weird thing with the fates; he would end up picking the first position spot.
“Kline, you really should go up,” Alex said as he shuffled himself around to face the class. “The safest spots at the very start of the race are the very back and the very front. Everywhere else is where chaos will be.”
“It will?!” Kline audibly swallowed as he squared his shoulders and marched up to the platform where a crowd was growing.
“Keh-keh-keh-keh, so the newbies sent up you?” a man snickered as he looked at Kline.
“And you are?”
“I am the first mate of the Tophat-Trick,” the man replied, gesturing to where he could see Dorian Macleod organising his crew.
“So you’re part of his crew?”
“Keh-keh-keh-keh. Yes, I help him make sure he wins; the name is Mikely,” he replied as he snickered again. Kline wasn’t even sure what Mikely found so funny, but he was feeling the urge to deck this guy.
“Ok, we have everyone?!” the announcer asked to which an assistant gave a thumbs up.
“Perfect, let's see,” he began to look over a clipboard with a list on it. “Heh, that one sounds funny. Can the Trouser Surprise please come up and draw.”
Kline sighed; once again, he had been called up first. He could only hope that this would be the only instance and they would get the back of the pack when he drew their position. Putting his hand into the proffered jar, he rumbled it around and grabbed the first ball that felt right.
“WE GOT THE FIRST POSITION DECIDED. CONGRATULATIONS!!” The announcer declared with a big cheery smile. Kline, however, let out another sigh. At least his small curse could be of use to his friends.
“Ok, Admiral Bearinton,” the large bear-like man walked up to the announcer and put his paw… sorry… his hand into the jar and took out a ball.
“Middle of the field, tough luck.”
“Raghhhh,” he gave a growl in response.
“M’lord says he finds it ok he enjoys being in the thick of battle.”
“Raghhh,” this growl seemed more disheartened as he walked away with his butler comforting him.
“Next, Angrathond!!!”
A shadow cast itself over the assembled crowd as a claw larger than some of the contestants went in towards the jar. The announcer, though, was the only one who did not flinch in the face of this imposing danger. With surprising dexterity and grace for a castle-sized dragon, Angrathond took out a ball.
“Last in the lineup. I suppose with your size, sir, it is best.”
“Indeed it is,” Angrathond replied with a snarl-like tone as he slowly walked away, creating a rumble with each step.
“Ok, next up, the representatives from Gnome Depot shipwrights lord Theseus!”
A gnome with a muscular build walked up to the platform and waited for the announcer to lower the jar to his height. When he did so, the gnome took out a ball and held it aloft.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“We have second last!!” the announcer declared.
“We shall celebrate; we needed a handicap,” Theseus declared as he returned to his crew that celebrated his return.
“Next, we have the representative of the Tophat-Trick.”
Mikely walked up at putting his hand into the jar. As he took it out, it had transformed into a claw revealing he was a werebeast of some kind to the crowd. But there, pinched between his claws was the position his team would take.
“Second place start. Congratulations!!” The announcer declared.
“Next, Paul the swimmer,” the man in a speedo walked up and took out the ball. Handing it to the announcer, who declared he would be middle of the pack.
This drawing went on for some time till everyone had received their position and had been handed their ball back. They were told to hold onto it when they boarded their ship as it’ll allow what would start the race to get them into position.
Kline was unsure of what he meant, but he assumed it would become clear when the time came. Returning to his team’s spot, he revealed they had gotten the front spot and was welcomed with hugs and cheers.
“Sir, I thought you said you were going to speak to the fates about this?” Looking at Alex, who had since been freed of his steel bindings, he waited for his answer.
“I have sent numerous letters of complaint, and they have all been returned. Apparently, they find it funny and want you to enjoy their little treat. I have lodged a higher complaint through a few gods, so hopefully, we can get them to stop playing with your fate thread like kittens.”
“I’d appreciate that, sir,” Kline replied, exhaling an exhausted sigh. Many would think having the opportunity to go first was a prize worth coveting. But with his nervous nature, it was the last thing he wanted. He firmly believed he should not be the one who should set the path.
“Hon, hon, hon, so we see the little kiddies have gotten the first spot. You know what they say,” one of the Neoveau Artistes said as he walked past their berth. “First the worst, second the best, third the one who is an artest!”
The class just looked at the obnoxious artist and shoed him away. If his wordplay was any indication of their artistic skill, then maybe Spoony had exaggerated. As they mulled this over, they heard the horn that told everyone to get ready and board their ships.
Clambering aboard the Trouser Surprise, the class with their teachers and Gunter’s parents got to their starting positions. They had spent most of yesterday running drills, so they knew who would go where and who was responsible for what.
“CONTESTANTS, ARE YOU READY?!!” The announcer's voice echoed around them as his platform began floating once more. A resounding cheer came in response to his question.
“PERFECT!!!!” With his shout, spectral hands began appearing in the sky around his platform. Looking at them, they looked half rotten despite their ghostly appearance. As they neared each berth, it became clear they were truly massive. Each hand itself was large enough to pick up even Angrathond.
“OH, MY GODS, I GOTTA FIND OUT WHAT SPELL THAT IS!!!” Alex cheered starry-eyed at the sight of the magic being used.
“PLEASE FOCUS, SIR!!!” Maxwell chided as the hand with a number one marked on it lifted the Trouser Surprise up and out over the water.
Peaking over the edge of the ship, they could see the raging torrent of the river below them. They were now truly at the point of no return. Looking at the other contestants, they could see that the majority of them were nonplussed by the hands as if it were a given.
One exception was one of the nameless crews they hadn’t even been told to keep a watch for. As their ship was picked up, one of the crew who was in the crow's nest lost his footing and fell overboard. With a splash, he crashed into the river below.
Surfacing with a gasp, the man looked ok, at least for the short time he was in sight. In mere moments he had been dragged down the river and was already out of sight. Seeing this, the class now truly understood how dangerous this race was. There was no guarantee of safety even falling overboard.
“Woo, looks like the current is extra strong today,” Yuu observed with a mad grin. “Glad we made my alterations. This ship is going to move so fast that its wife will assure ‘it is okay. It happens to ships all the time.’”
Bea and Alex couldn’t help but smirk at Yuu’s joke as the three high-fived. The rest of the now-stuck crew looked at the trio with envious gazes. They couldn’t understand how they could be so carefree in such a dangerous moment.
“For those who haven’t participated before, allow me to explain the rules. During the first half of the race, combat is strictly forbidden. No magic, no weapons, any direct attacks, and you will be disqualified. Trust me when I say I am watching you!!” In response to his declaration, a giant eyeball appeared in the palm of each and every hand holding the contestants.
“After the serpent's head isle, combat becomes allowed, and you can blow each other up. We have had years where no one has finished, so don’t hold back!!!” A rough cheer boomed from a few of the more heavily armed ships around them.
“The Jormunganda River runs along the entire northern edge of Envy’s domain—a total of two-thousand-nine-hundred and six miles. Anyone who can finish this race under the current record of twenty-five hours will receive the current prize pool. I believe it currently stands at three platinum pieces in total.” Another massive cheer from the participants, this time mainly from the sleeker and more speed-focused ships.
“Do your best to survive the serpent's fang and emerge on the other side of the serpent's head. May the Oraboros not consume you!!!”
“What does he mean, sir?” Maxwell asked.
“Dunno, it’ll be fun to find out!!”
“Now it is with great pleasure I announce the four-hundred and fifth annual Jormunganda river race now has begun!!!”
With his final announcement, all the hands holding up all the contestants opened and dropped the ships and their crews into the river. Whether they were prepared or not, the class all screamed in terror while Alex and Yuu cackled like lunatics as they fell.
The fall seemed to last for minutes as they felt the effects of weightlessness from the floor dropping from under them. Abruptly time caught up to them, and they smashed into the river. Without a second to orientate themselves, the Trouser Surprise caught the current and shot off down the river with the other contestants close behind them.
“IT'S SO FAST!!!” Tasha screamed as she let the wind blow through her hair.
“IT IS!!!” Kline cried out as he pushed himself as far into the cabin wall as possible. Both were having entirely opposite reactions to the start.
“Look behind us!!!” Senior shouted as one of his eyes extended out of his head in a telescopic fashion.
Climbing up to the ship's helm, they could see some of the ships behind them begin smashing into each other. Even Angrathond was smashing the ships around him. But from the looks of it, it was less malice and more panic paddling.
“I thought combat was banned in the first half?!” Maxwell asked as he watched the carnage unfold.
“It is,” Mel replied. “These are ‘accidents’. Can’t help it if you ‘accidentally’ smash into a rival and destroy their ship.”
“She’s right, you know!!!” a smarmy voice added. Looking to the source, they could see Dorian’s ship steadily passing them. As if to add insult to injury, he doffed his tophat and gave a bow to their ship.
“I must thank you for picking first. Traditionally that is the cursed spot.”
“IT’S CURSED?!!!” Kline repeated in terror.
“Worry not; your ship looks nice and sturdy. It’d take a hidden explosive to sink it!!!” He burst into a sudden fit of evil-sounding cackles as their ship finished passing them.
“Nyeh-Nyeh-Nyeh-Nyeh!!!”
“Right, we have to take this seriously. Let's go!!”