March 26th, Year 021 Angels Descent

Alex and Yuu were currently in a high-grade noble's carriage on their way through Wrath’s domain. They were heading towards Angdrast prison. In part to serve a sentence in the prison. But also so they could help clean up the internal corruption from within the prison.

“Yuu…Are your memories getting fuzzier the closer we get?” Alex asked in a half slur.

“You think the booze is wearing off?”

“No…I…At least I don’t remember it wearing off so soon; I’ll make a note in my journal,” Alex mumbled as he noted down further things he wished his sober self to utilise. Sadly due to the sheer influence of not only the booze but causality itself, Alex’s notes would end up useless... All except for a single curry recipe.

Though that was a half-truth, as Alex’s notes could be used at any pharmacy in place of a prescription, as drunk Alex’s handwriting was very similar to the way a doctor writes. Many in the divine realm would wonder if Alex had studied Doctorglyphs to decode them, he might have been able to read the entirety of the Ogma Infinium. Then again, only doctors and pharmacists have ever been able to understand such a bizarre and deceptive script.

Peering out the carriage window, the duo could see the prison on the horizon. Much like the majority of Wrath’s domain, the prison was inside a mountain. Angdrast had at one point been a dwarven city, where like many of their other cities, they had carved out an artificial cavern in which to live.

The difference with Angdrast being they found an impenetrable layer of manacite. Dwarves being who they often are, decided just to abandon the entire mountain and move a few mountains down to a mountain with a better mining school district. Say what you will about dwarves, but there are some stereotypes that fit.

With a now entirely abandoned and established dwarven city contained within a sphere of a material that was resistant to magic and hard as diamond, the government were left with one easy option. Make it a penal colony for the most hardened criminals and also the less hardened criminals. The former for the reputation and the latter for the population.

It took only a short while for their carriage to fully arrive at the towering gates of Angdrast, where a smarmy-looking man wearing armour so polished that there was a better chance of using it to polish other suits.

“Ah, it is a pleasure to welcome my latest guests,” the man said as he bowed his head in welcome.

“I am Warden Drudge Jedd. Please just call me Waden Jedd,” Warden Jedd introduced himself. Stepping down from the carriage in that careful way, people with their hands bound are often forced to do Alex, and Yuu greeted him in return.

“Sup.”

“Oh, how delightful. You seem like you two will be most enjoyable guests of our establishment… tell me to do you know much of our little home away from home for indeterminate time periods?”

“It used to be a dwarven city,” Yuu replied.

“Exactly. Do you know the name of that city?”

“Angdrast?” Alex offered.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t named that. That is a name attached to the place after it was turned into a prison. It was originally named that mountain with a very easy-to-carve cavern. If only the stunties knew why the rock was so soft,” Warden Jedd explained with a chuckle, not noticing Yuu’s glare.

“It gained the name Angdrast because of the first criminal who was sent here.”

“He was named Angdrast?”

“Oh heavens no. We are not in the business of naming our government facilities after commoner criminals. No, that man was sentenced to death, you see, and he had lost half his tongue in a bet. So when he arrived here with his limited speech, he said,’sho dis ish where izsh ‘onna get angdrast’,” Waden Jedd explained with a very noble like chuckle, in the way that it was mostly ho ho ho but not in a Santa way.

“I still don’t follow,” Alex said, feeling the alcohol swirl in his head but not gift its usual benefits.

“He was sent here to be hanged fast… you see, hanged fast… Angdrast. Tis a play on words, and the name felt just right, so my forebears adopted it as the name.”

“You have four bears?” Yuu asked.

“Yes, they were charming and important people,” Waden Jedd replied, puffing his chest.

“Was one of them a blonde girl who identified as a bear?”

“Oh-ho-ho-ho, you are quite entertaining. Now shall we enter? I’m sure you are raring to settle in,” Warden Jedd said as he led the way in. Alex and Yuu noticed a very lacking amount of guards patrolling the perimeter.

“So why aren’t there guards outside the prison?” Alex asked.

“Well, why would they?” Warden Jedd replied, looking over his should at Alex with a confused look as he approached a large pair of stone doors with metal bands inlaid into the structure. Rining a little bell, the gates began to swing open.

“Finest in ogre-opening technology,” he bragged with a smug look.

“Lady and Gentleman, I welcome you to Angdrast Prison,” with a flourishing gesture that Hadean would’ve approved of, he gestured to the entire prison that was now visible.

At the bottom of a large stone staircase was an entire city. Surrounding the bottom of the stairs was a massive fortress, with a further stone staircase leading to the bottom of the cavern where the rest of the prison rested.

“You see, our little prison is divided into four districts. We are currently in the Fortress District. This is where Noble criminals are placed.”

“Noble Criminals?” Alex repeated.

“Oh yes, indeed. They only committed minor crimes like slaughtering commoner villages or embezzlement of taxes. You know, little crimes that didn’t really hurt anyone important that require a little rub to the back of the wrist.”

“You mean a slap to the wrist?”

“Heavens, no, we wouldn’t hit a noble. The real punishments are the other three districts that we have prisoner trustees overseeing on our behalf. It is the common criminals that are the real bad bunch, like one detestable swine that stole a loaf of bread. I say twenty years is far too light a sentence. What is this world coming to when a starving commoner can get away with such a crime?”

“You mentioned three other districts?” Yuu asked.

“Oh yes, to the west, we have the Stone-Born District. That is where those of descent from races made from stone reside. You know, stunties, ceiling scrapers or golems.” Warden Jedd seemed oblivious; he had used derogatory terms in front of one of the races the term referred to.

“Stunties?” Yuu repeated with somewhat less force than would’ve been necessary, considering she could’ve easily broken every bone in Warden Jedd’s body before her shackles could’ve shocked her into submission.

“Oh yes, present company excluded, of course. Nowhere near as bad as ceiling scrapers.”

“I’ll have you know I am engaged to, as you so eloquently put it, ceiling scraper.”

“I’m sure he is a lovely fellow…” Warden Jedd replied, looking rather awkward now.

“Anyways, the eastern district is the Flesh-Born district. That is where people born from real people reside and not stunt…Ahem… Dwarves and Titans,” Warden Jedd hastily corrected himself under the combined glares from Alex and Yuu.

“What about the north?” Alex asked.

“That? Oh, that is the Madhouse district… It’s where we put the loonies… like people who think the world is round or we should have equal rights regardless of race. Lunatics one and all!!!”

“Regardless, we keep a nice healthy segregation between the races.”

“Those being manufacture children, natural born children and crazy people?”

“And nobles,” Warden Jedd added. “We must keep the best of society separate from the riffraff.”

“In a prison?” Alex asked incredulously.

“Indeed, now, if you follow me, we have a nice villa set up for the two of you. It has been many decades since we last had high nobles, so we prepared the best villa in the prison.”

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“Villa?” Yuu repeated.

“Yes, it looks over the golf course, though don’t worry, there is protective netting, so no stray balls will ruin your stay.” Yuu and Alex shared a look that spoke a thousand words. Mostly repeating, they had zero desire to be around in a prison district if the locals were anything like Warden Jedd.

“No thanks,” they both chorused.

“I think I will go to the stunties district. I think I’d feel better amongst my own company,” Yuu bluntly said.

“I myself was born a commoner, so living in a noble prison in comfort would be a bit too much,” Alex added.

Warden Jedd had seemed surprised but accepting of Yuu’s decision. But the moment Alex revealed he was a commoner by birth and had risen to his position Warden Jedd’s demeanour changed entirely.

“Should’ve guessed you were part of the riff-raff, Guards!!!! Transfer this filth to gen pop,” out of nowhere, a dozen armed guards arrived and began to roughly drag Alex to the front door of the fortress.

It is now in Alex’s drink-addled mind he realised what had been bugging him. The fortress was facing inwards to the cavern. It was a fortress not to keep people out but to keep people in. Anyone who wanted to try to escape had two ways out of the prison, through the fortress or through the fortress in a wooden box. The latter excludes the ability to continue living after exiting.

“So I take it you are going to the Flesh-Born district?” Warden Jedd asked as Alex was being dragged away. Despite him not resisting the dragging in any manner, the guards put on a good show of jostling him to ensure they earned the hazard pay bonus for dealing with an unruly prisoner.

“I’ll warn you, the Flesh-Born district has many undead serving consecutive unlife sentences.”

“I’m a decent necromancer. Some of my best friends are liches.”

“You’re friends with master?” Yuu asked incredulously. Alex’s relationship with Sloth could be best described as a bratty teenager with their parent. Their roles depended on the time of day and the phase of the sun and moon.

“Well, we are certainly more than acquaintances,” Alex replied.

“Just to confirm for my paperwork, you two are both high nobility? As my paperwork here says, you are just in for some minor war crimes.”

“War crimes?” Alex repeated. “Wwe aren’t even at war!”

“Exactly, but you stole war material. Theft is a crime. War material is for wars, so it is treated as a crime against war.”

“Go figure,” Alex muttered, wishing he could access the memories that were somehow having his access cut off.

“Yes, we are both high nobles; my father has been trying to find a way to be rid of me since I was three,” Yuu confirmed.

“Ah, one of those… we have a few here living comfortably off their trust funds.”

With everything settled, Alex was thrown roughly through the fortress’ gatehouse out into the main body of the prison. Yuu was then roughly thrown out in a noble fashion. Being she was lifted up, given a good swing then gently placed on the ground a meter in front of where she was picked up.

With the fortress doors slammed behind them, they now had to plan their next steps. They had promised Crozonia they would settle the corruption issue within a year so Alex could serve as Gluttony. The real question, though, is where they could start.

“Urghhh,” Yuu groaned as she rubbed her temples. “You having issues remembering what we did?” To anyone listening, they would’ve assumed she meant this statement in the past tense.

“No, the manacite must be interrupting the flow of our future memories,” Alex groaned as they began to stagger down the steps to the lower area where the other three districts sat.

“Hello, fresh fish,” a man with more weasel-like features than even a partially transformed wereweasel greeted as he approached them.

“I would be happy to show some fine upstanding fresh fish like you around,” the weasel man offered.

“Bugger off,” Yuu grumbled. “I’m off to the Stone-Born district; see you when we need to start a gang war or something,” Yuu added as she walked off to the western district.

“Ray of sunshine, ain’t she?”

“Yes, she is; I, however, will take you up on your offer,” Alex replied as he offered his hand to the weasel-like man.

“Pleasure to meetcha; my name is Weez El Weasleton, former baron of Weasleville.”

“Would you happen to be a wereweasel?” Alex asked.

“No… I wonder why everyone I meet for the first time always asks that. Anyways I am, in fact, human.”

“Ah, cool, me too,” Alex replied, trying his best to hide his surprise that a man with such a resemblance to the creature did not, in fact, have any connection to it… other than his name… and the name of the town he oversaw.

“That’s nice to know. Anyways we have to be careful we are about to enter no man's land,” Weez explained.

“Oh, is this like a neutral district the four districts keep away from?” Alex asked.

“What? No, this is the red light district. The only rule here is no man can live here. The matron, the head of the prostitutes here, is very protective of her girls.”

“What happens if someone hurts her girls?” Alex asked, noticing a considerable lack of clothing the further they went in.

“The men join the workforce here with the help of a rusty cleaver and a pair of red hot gelding tongs.”

“If you want a fun time, they are currently doing the early bird special right now,” Weez added as he gave a friendly wave to a couple of werebeasts women who had partially transformed and were showing off six pairs of great enjoyment.

“So, like a cheap offer for early in the day?”

“What?! No… they use a bird, and they shove it-”

“I’ll stop you right there. I rather not know,” Alex hastily said, stopping Weez mid-explanation.

“Hey honey, you want a fresh fish special?” one of the women asked.

“Like fish and chips?” Alex asked.

“No, like sex, honey.”

“No thanks, I have the love of my life waiting outside, and she is my one and only,” Alex replied, which elicited a number of awhs from the assembled women. Alex seemed to have already established a decent reputation in the district.

The travelling duo arrived in what used to be the city centre, which was now an execution block with a number of bodies hanging by the neck from gallows. Some of them were merrily reading books, as hanging a skeletal lich is more an elevation of height than of spirit.

“From here, we can take the eastern main road, and we will get into the Flesh-Born district easy enough,” Weez explained.

“Oh no, I’m going to the north.”

“To the Madhouse district?!! What are you mad?!!!”

“That kind of is a prerequisite for entry,” Alex casually replied.

“I’m not sure about guiding you there anymore,” Weez hesitantly said.

“Pleassssseeeee?” Alex begged like a child asking to stay up an extra hour after bedtime. Much like an indulgent parent, Weez buckled under Alex’s pleading gaze and capitulated.

“Only to the border of no man’s land. I ain’t entering that place.”

“Perfect, shall we,” Alex asked as he gestured to the main road north.

“So, tell me about the gangs in this place?” Alex asked, turning to Weez.

“Each gang is overseen by a boss jokingly titled a trustee by Warden Jedd,” Weez explained, spitting on the floor when he said Jedd’s name.

“West is overseen by Stonefist, the most durable dwarf to have ever lived and will ever exist.”

“Is Stonefist as tough as he says he is?” Alex asked.

“Shhhh….” Weez hastily shushed him. “It isn’t Stonefist… It is Stonefist, the most durable dwarf to have ever lived and will ever exist. The entire thing…No one is daft enough not to use his full name; he is especially touchy about it.”

“Very well, is Stonefist the most durable dwarf to have ever lived and will ever exist as tough as he suggests he is?”

“He is the most durable dwarf in the prison.”

“Not anymore…. Yuu should have some fun with him,” Alex muttered to himself as a sardonic grin spread across his face.

“What is he in for?”

“I believe he purposely collapsed a mine.”

“With people in it?” Alex asked, shocked.

“No… what he did was even worse by dwarven standards… He collapsed a mine that still had ore in it.”

“Heavens?!!” Alex let out a faux shock.

“Exactly…”

“What about the eastern boss?”

“The Flesh-Born district is overseen by an Orge named Yellowbeard.”

“Let me guess; he has a big yellow beard?”

“Oh no, he has no hair at all… he is an ogre, after all.”

“Then why-”

“Why is he named Yellowbeard? He was a pirate before coming here and knew real professional pirate captains always had names that were colour-facial hair. He just went with the first thing to came to mind. Much like Stonefist, the most durable dwarf to have ever lived and will ever exist, no one is daft enough to mention his lack of beard.”

“They even say he has eaten the hearts of a hundred sailors who opposed him.”

“And has he?”

“Dunno, but it's what they say.”

“What’s he in for then… Piracy?”

“No, he slaughtered hundreds of sailors and raided countless ships, but he’s in for tax evasion. Don't matter how much treasure you steal; the taxman will still need his cut.”

“What about the south then?” Alex asked, looking back towards the fortress high up above them.

“Lord Toffington. He is doing a minor stint of a thousand years for a Ponzi scheme that bankrupted Greed’s domain when it was under the rule of the Second Sinful Lord of Greed.”

“Heh, Meso would’ve never fallen for a Ponzi scheme.”

“You know Lord Meso?!!!” Weez exclaimed.

“Yes,” Alex replied with a nod.

“He is a legendary criminal; they say he can never be caught.”

“Well, to quote the man himself, you are only a criminal if you get caught.”

“What about the Madhouse district?” Alex asked, glancing back towards where he would be spending considerable time.

“The fella is only known as Nutter. He is weresquirrel and is nuttier than his own shit.”

The duo reached the border to the northern district. It was noticeable as there was considerably more clothing. Though granted, the majority of the clothing was now straight jackets.

“Good luck, you are entering a real madhouse,” Weez said as he turned to walk back into no man's land.

“That’s the plan; I will rule the roost as the cuckoo soon,” Alex replied as he waved goodbye to Weez.