“It doesn’t matter. We need to keep going!!!” Senior shouted as he manoeuvred the ship to cut off the advancing Artistic Vision.
“Great, we’re pinned between both our teachers!!!” Kline bemoaned.
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Trapped between the figurative rock and a hard place, the Trouser Surprise team went about trying to maintain a constant distance between the two ships. Any time they made an attempt to pass the Never-Finishers, their teacher made sure to block them off. While at the same time, any attempt to pull back and let the Artists pass them was also hampered. Both teachers seemed to be intent on keeping them right where they were.
“I’ve got a plan, but we will need a few minutes to get everything ready, guys!!” Mel shouted as she and Senior began moving around the ship.
“I’ll help however I can,” the Old Gnome declared following Senior below deck.
“Ok, Guys, we need to start taking potshots at these clowns we call teachers,” Maxwell declared.
“Anyone know how to stop artists?” Tasha asked.
“I have a plan…” Daisy said as she walked up to the rear of the Trouser Surprise and cupped her hands.
“Your parents are disappointed in you and tell their friends you work in customer service!!!” Looking at the deck of Artistic Vision, the class could see several of them freezing with pained expressions.
“Daisy…” Bea said, looking shocked at her friend. “That’s some weak sauce insults.”
“MY BABY BROTHER CAN FINGER PAINT A MASTERPIECE BETTER THAN YOU. WHY DON’T YOU GET A REAL JOB!!!” A critical hit this time as the artists who were in the process of painting something for Yuu flinched in pain.
“WHAT'S WRONG? ARE YOU ON YOUR BLUE PERIOD!!!” Kline added.
“Is this working?” Maxwell asked. “It just seems like you are bullying them?”
“They’re artists. They constantly doubt their work and hearing criticism can leave a telling blow to their egos regardless if the insult isn't founded in reality,” Daisy replied.
“And how do you know this?”
“I…” Daisy began to look embarrassed. “I wanted to attend an art school when I was little,” she finally admitted.
“What happened?” Maxwell asked a moment before an explosion detonated against the hull. “Right; time and place for everything.”
“We will make you pay for those hurtful remarks. Creating is not easy you know?!!!” one of the Artists shouted as his drawing of a repeating crossbow seemed to come to life, launching multiple bolts towards the Trouser Surprise.
“HEY, FOCUS ON THE REAL ENEMY!!!” Yuu admonished as she thumped a theatrical walking stick on the artist's head and pointed him towards the ship of undead.
“Ready men, ignore the children. We want the finger-painting adults!!” Alex shouted, causing another psychological blow to the Artists.
“HA HA HA HA, YOU DORK, I WILL SINK YOU LIKE YOUR FUTURE AWAY FROM POLITICS!!!” Yuu shouted as a number of artists behind her brought out canvases’ with baroque weapons painted on them.
In a flourishing spin, she ran her hands along the canvases’ and somehow dragged the images directly off of them. In each hand were metallic appearing tubes coated in decorative carvings to make it look like it was covered in vines.
“I’m an engineer. I can bring to life anything that is drawn!!!” Yuu cackled as she brought the two weapons down and aimed them at the undead.
A deafening boom echoed out around them as plumes of smoke and fire burst forth from the two devices. Rapidly following were what appeared to be metallic spheres travelling at a barely perceptible speed. The balls flew over the deck of the Trouser Surprise and directly towards Alex.
Unflinching in the face of the weapons, he snapped his fingers, and a line of zombies formed up in front of him. The two balls collided with the front zombie and proceeded down the line stopping just short of the madly grinning teacher.
All the undead that were hit exploded into body parts like a firework splattering down onto the deck, only for Alex to swirl a black mass of smoke around in his hands, and the bodies all reformed into a single large body.
“A flesh golem?” Maxwell gasped. The only book on necromancy Sithy had permitted him to read was an index on undead beings. Sithy was especially strict that Maxwell never delve into Necromancy. Saying, ‘Only weirdos go into that school’.
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“Mungo!!!” the flesh golem crouched down near their teacher's head, and they watched him whisper something. With a big nod, the golem stood up and moved out of their line of sight.
“I’ve got a devious plan, Yuu!!! You best be ready!!!”
“TRY YOUR BEST YAH DORK I CAN BEAT ANYTHING YOU TRY!!!”
“FLUFFY!!!” Pressing two fingers to his mouth an ear-piercing whistle echoed out.
“You wouldn’t dare!!!!” Yuu shouted back with a look of terror as a black shadow began to appear beneath the Artistic Vision. Immediately water spouts burst around the ship as tentacles covered in mouths and eyes appeared with his arms out as if to welcome the eldritch horror with a hug, Alex declared.
“GIVE AUNTY YUU A HUG!!!”
“IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE PAID WITH EXPOSURE TO THE ELEMENTS, STOP FLUFFY NOW!!!”
The crew of the Artistic Vision sprang into action, immediately running around painting all kinds of things along the tentacles. Everything from gashes to holes with the scenery behind the tentacle perfectly recreated. The artwork was so convincing even reality fell for it, and Fluffy’s tentacles recoiled in pain.
“HOW DARE!!!”
“Why are we stuck in the middle of this?!!!” Kline cried out as the Old Gnome and Gunter’s parents ran around preparing the last things the ship needed for the next trick they were planning.
“Men full roundabout!!!” Alex shouted.
Without a second's hesitation, the mass of undead on the deck of the ship pulled ropes and dropped anchors down the side of the ship closest to the Trouser Surprise.
“What are they doing?!!” Maxwell asked as he fired off a basic mana shot at Mungo as he tried to drop an anchor onto their deck.
“FULL ROUNDABOUT, DEAR MAXWELL!!!” Alex shouted in response as the front of the ghost ship suddenly dipped, and the entire keel was pulled from the water. In a movement of what would become a legend, the ship of damned undead began to spin like a spinning top.
As it spun, shots began shooting out of the rotating mass of wood and metal; all focused perfectly towards the Artistic Vision. Harpoons, bolts and even barrels crashed onto the ship's deck, with the barrels bursting to reveal skeletons bursting out and engaging the crew in close combat.
“SECOND ANCHORS!!!” Alex ordered as more anchors were dropped down, resting the ship's spin and having it crash land facing towards Yuu’s ship.
“They’re going in reverse?” Mel asked, baffled.
“FIRE ALL WEAPONS!!!” Yuu shouted as the Artists began firing their paint-launching devices.
“SINK EVERYONE IN FRONT OF US!!!” Alex roared right back as the undead began to swing on ropes towards the Artistic Vision.
“Now’s our chance!!” Daisy shouted. “Whatever it is you are doing, do it now!!!”
“You kids see the red line?” Senior asked. They could see a red outline on the decking, but they had assumed it was a remnant of cutting lines when the ship was being built.
“Stand behind it!!” Mel shouted as she and Senior opened a little door at the back end of the red line, revealing a second steering wheel.
“What is going to happen?” Bea asked.
“Hold onto something!!!” the Old Gnome shouted, clambering out from below deck and standing behind the red line.
Mel and Senior nodded at each other as they pulled a few levers that had been concealed behind a locked door. The railing of the Trouser Surprise began to fall away along with the decking, leaving only what was behind the red line untouched.
With a loud clacking, the decking they were standing on began to descend as it met with the remaining parts of the hull that had yet to be touched by battle or mechanical shenanigans. Looking behind them, they could see the shell of what had been the main body of the Trouser Surprise begin to tumble towards the Artistic Vision.
“Gahhh!!!” Yuu cried out as her ship smashed through the hull parts from the Trouser Surprise.
“Guess the river water must be getting cold!!” Alex observed looking down from the rotten railing of his own ship at the class’ now smaller and speedier boat.
“Indeed, I heard they shrivel up when it's cold!!!!” Yuu agreed as both teachers ignored the battles going on around them, giving each other an air high-five.
Looking at the Trouser Surprise, it was now far closer to the water line than it had previously been. It had halved in height and length and had kept all the water sails at the cost of its weapons. Its sole way of dealing attacks now were the crew themselves.
“RAGHHHH!!!!”
“M’lord kindly asks if you lunatics would get out the way for Lord Angrathond!” a calm and imperious voice declared as the two teachers looked to see the ancient dragon that had till now been struggling to swim had finally rid itself of the duck-shaped floaties. The dragon was now rapidly approaching the two ships that were locked in combat.
“Seeya!!! Tasha shouted as the now smaller Trouser Surprise began to fly forwards and towards the Tophat-Trick.
“Will they be ok?” Daisy asked, looking at what was now becoming a large cloud of debris and explosions.
“It’s the Chief and Big Chief…. They became captains of the ships they landed on instantly; they will be ok.”
“I more meant the ones getting between them.”
“Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh… I wondered who was gaining on us,” Dorian said with a smug grin as he softly touched down on the little spare room the Trouser Surprise had left.
“Go away,” Bea groaned as she watched a few of her copies fall overboard and vanish.
“I don’t think I will,” Dorian replied with a smirk. “I have a gift for you, after all.”
“A gift?” Tasha asked eagerly.
“Yes, a gift from that carpet bag I mentioned earlier… Tell me, have you ever seen an Earthen Drake before? The really big ones?”
“Guys, get him off now!!!” Kline yelled as he thrust his spear towards Dorian as he took out a miniature Earthen Drake. It looked the same shape as the one the walking church of the Cardinal of Benevolence used to get around. The one that nearly reached the height of the walls of Academy City. With their now smaller ship, it would never survive an encounter with one of those the second it returned to its full size.
“Whoosh, off I go!” Dorian dodged Kline's strike using his umbrella, flying out of reach.
The little Earthen Drake landed on the deck, and everyone winced, waiting for it to return to full size. Only for nothing to happen. Looking up at the retreating top-hatted man, they could only hear his villainous-sounding cackle.
“It’s just a toy?” Tasha muttered, examining the small palm-sized creature.
“Wooooo,” the little creature began to move on her palm and nibbled on the edge of her gloves.
“Awhhh he’s so cute,” Mel observed running a finger down its long neck causing the small creature to kwoon in pleasure.
“Maybe the magic didn’t deactivate?” Daisy suggested as she gently poked the creature.
“We can only hope so… Tasha, throw it overboard,” Maxwell ordered.
“I WON’T, NOT LITTLE STAMPY!!!” She cried out, protecting the small creature in a hug.
“You named it? Of course, you named it,” Daisy let out an exhausted sigh.
“Little Stampy is a member of the family. We will not throw him overboard. We don’t abandon family, Maxy!”
Maxwell’s hand that had been reaching for the small Earthen Drake recoiled at Tasha’s words. It was way too soon for her to be using such a low blow.
“Tash…Tash, please…” Maxwell looked searchingly into Tasha’s eyes before his whole body slumped in defeat. “Screw it! The second he grows big, you drop him. Promise me that,” Maxwell said, realising this was a fight he had zero chance of winning with any dignity.
“Yes!” Tasha replied with an eager nod as the Trouser Surprise began to near the Tophat-Trick.
“Kyek-kyek-kyek-kyek… boss looks like your little trick didn’t work!”
“Indeed it didn’t…” Dorian replied as he twirled his moustache in thought.