Alex saw off Weez before fully entering the Madhouse district. As he proceeded through the neighbourhood, he was approached by a pair of men.

“Sir, are you aware the world is starfish shaped?”

“Starfish shaped?” Alex repeated; this was a new shape for the world.

“Yes, don’t believe those flat or round worlders. We are the only right group here.”

“LIES!!!” The other man shouted.

“The world is a flat disc, and the surrounding bodies in the sky are just spheres to test our faith.”

“So every celestial body is a round sphere except our world?” Alex asked incredulously.

“Yes!” the two men nodded, agreeing that their common enemy, the round worlders were not to be trusted.

“How can you tell?”

“Can’t you see the ground is flat?” the flat-world guy asked.

“Well, if you get high enough, you can actually see-”

“Pure lies told by big wizard. They want us to believe the world is round to sell more globes.”

“Sure…” Alex replied, unsure of his future memories of actually going into the Madhouse district being a good idea anymore.

“Do you know where I can find Nutter?” Alex asked all at once; the cheery, welcoming mood vanished as all the weird worlders looked nervous.

“Oh, you don’t want to see him, sir; he’s crazy, you know?”

“I’ve heard. What is he in for?” Alex asked curiously.

“He used to work for the Dark Lady Crozonia,” the starfish worlder began.

“Ah, that would drive anyone crazy,” Alex replied sardonically.

“He was always loyal, but he got given a horrible task,” the flat worlder added.

“Which was?”

“He was to help an idiot try to kill her ladyship. All in a conspiracy to get a few days off.”

“But they say the idiot chosen was so dumb, even with literal guides and making it as easy as possible, he still kept failing and had to be railroaded.”

“What’s a railroad?” Alex asked. The two madmen exchanged a confused glance, wondering where the term had come from. This is a general rule when it comes to the mad they are sometimes tapping into the current of reality and are actually seeing the cosmic truth. In this case, it is the future involving railways.

“If you insist on meeting Mr Nutter, he is in that building there,” the starfish worlder explained, gesturing to a worn-out old government building labelled budgetary department.

“Yep, makes sense; the craziest guy lives in the building that controls the budget of a city,” Alex joked as he climbed the steps into the building. There in the entrance hall was an elven man who quickly went up and greeted Alex.

“Hello, sir, do you have an appointment with Lord, General, Emperor, Best God In existence, Lord Nutter?”

“You said Lord twice?”

“Yes, he rules over two different regions, so he has two lord titles,” the elf casually replied.

“Wouldn’t they merge under one title?”

“You’d think that, but he says only a madman would let his titles get merged.”

“Anyways, I don’t have an appointment,” Alex replied, finally answering the question. The elf, in response, looked none too pleased. He gave Alex the glare that all receptionists reserve for someone that has given more than the bare minimum of work to do.

“I shall see if he is available,” the elf said as he knocked on the door behind him. After a moment's pause, there was no reply.

“Seems he is unavailable,” the elf stated.

“Aren’t you going to check inside the room?”

“And get near him? Are you mad?”

“I keep getting asked that today, and I suppose I am for coming here,” Alex replied.

“Ah, I see, so you are just applying for citizenship,” the elf said.

“If that is the case, we have some forms you can fill out,” the elf gestured to a stack of paperwork. This is the reality of the world that even madmen are drawn to bureaucracy, especially as most government bureaucracy is, in fact, devised by madmen.

As Alex sat down and began filling in the document that was labelled DSM VI (Devil's Shame Monkeys form six), the elf decided to begin a conversation.

“So what are you in for, sir?”

“I stole an entire war fleet and gave it to the government.”

“For free?” Alex nodded.

“I see only a crazy person would give up that much wealth.”

“So, what clan of elves are you from?”

“I am a high elf from the Nolvah region.”

“Ah, I have only met the Ironwood elves,” Alex replied as he reached the part about how many thoughts of his were stolen by sky sheep.

“Yes, they are an odd lot. They embrace their emotions far more than the rest of our kind.” Alex was surprised as while he had most of his future memories suppressed by the manacite; he so far had met with several very expressive elves.

“They do?”

“Yes, we often keep strict control over our emotions,” the elf explained.

“Why?” Alex asked as he filled out how many snails he had seen in the last year to enable a proper tax audit.

“Yes, we are very long-lived,” the elf explained as if that was enough; seeing Alex's reaction, the elf let out a long and weary sigh.

“We often outlive any race we will meet. Can you imagine how painful that will be if we actually let ourselves get attached?”

“I imagine it would be very painful to lose your loved ones,” Alex agreed, thinking about Elissa for some reason.

“Those Ironwoods, though, embrace their emotions. They savour every second they spend and celebrate their partings by never forgetting those they bonded with.”

“I see,” Alex muttered as memories of his future lichdom flowed in.

“I swear I heard about high elves living only a century somewhere,” Alex mumbled as he reached the astrology section of his forms as despite what that weird aunt says, only crazy people believe astrology is real.

“Yes, we elves mature differently than other races, and it is possible for us to live only a century. Are you aware of how we mature?”

“Only a little that the love of my life told me, like the first twenty-five years of your life, you physically grow up,” Alex replied.

“Yes… we elves have four distinct growth periods. These can be separated by centuries or even millennia, but there could also be no separation at all; that is where the stories of the blessed elves come from.”

“Four periods?” Alex repeated; in all his reading, he hadn’t come across such an explanation, and even his now extremely hazy memories recalled no such thing. Then again, temporal causality may have been condensing the knowledge to nothing as he was now learning it for the first time.

“Yes, the first is the physical period; we grow to physical maturity, roughly equivalent to twenty-five by human standards. Next, we reach mental maturity and proceed to age to roughly fifty by human standards. Then we will spiritually mature and age to seventy-five by human standards. This is where the wisened old elves trope comes from. The final round is when we are ready to proceed to death.”

“Fascinating… about this field?” Alex asked, gesturing to a box labelled government agencies following you.

“Oh, you can leave that blank if they don’t follow you,” the elf happily replied.

“Ok, I have this all filled out. Can I meet Nutter now?”

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

“Let me check if he is in.” The elf walked up to the same door he knocked on and reached for a little switch to the side. A little bell rang within the room.

“ENTER!!!” A booming voice declared.

“He can see you now,” the elf said with a smile as he opened the door for Alex. Stepping into the room, Alex came face to face with Nutter.

His hair was a complete mess, and he had a nervous tic that caused half his face to twitch. If you looked up the most stereotypical madman, you would have him as a prime example.

“TELL THE LEPRECHAUNS I WILL HAVE THEIR GOLD BY THE END OF THE WEEK!!!” Nutter screamed.

“Leprechauns?” Alex repeated, confused. In a world of magical creatures, Nutter had mentioned one of the few genuinely mythological creatures. More often than not, they were just dwarves whose wives had put them on a diet.

“Yes, it is why I set my base of operations in this cavern. No rainbows for their teams of six to raid us with,” Nutter explained as he rushed over to a shuttered window and peered out.

“SEE, THEY HAVE SPIES WATCHING ME!!!” Nutter cried out, pointing to a little girl selling flowers by the roadside.

“They tried to entrap me with biscuits last week…. Those shift little girl debt collectors are up to something…”

“So you owe money to leprechauns?” Alex cautiously asked.

“No, don’t be ridiculous… I owe money to were-loansharks…”

“As in…”

“Yes, people who can transform into loan sharks. Terrifying creatures… they have magical interest rates!!!!”

Alex could see why everyone thought Nutter was crazy. The man genuinely was. Most of the people he had met thus far had been a bit odd, but Nutter genuinely was his namesake.

“If you let me become the boss of this territory, I can help you,” Alex offered.

“How?!”

“With this,” Alex picked up a pebble from a sand garden that had been installed in the office and wrapped his hands around it.

The prison itself had a very potent mana suppression field caused by the manacite as well as the manacle all prisoners wore. But it could only suppress the mana to basic utility spells. Such as the light spell, which Alex knew a very neat trick with.

With his hands wrapped around the pebble, a light began to shine from between his fingers as he cats a spell oif his own devising. Usually, he used it to get precious metals for experiments, but he still limited his use of it to keep it from collapsing the economy. But in this instant, he transmuted the pebble to a slightly green pebble.

“There one anti-leprechaun pebble. This will repel any debt collection squads.” Nutter gently accepted the pebble-like it was the holiest of relics.

“You sure? You could make a tidy profit selling these…”

“I’m sure just let me take over, and you can run out of this prison and enjoy your life.”

“Oh no, that dumbass is outside this place. You know that human I helped was so dumb we gave him a sword that was literally labelled dark lord killer, and he sold it for a spikey knife because more spikes means more danger… the man is dumber than a bag of elven actors.”

“Elven Actors?” Alex repeated.

“Yes, I met quite a dim elf a few years back named Wes… Wes-something, his name was so forgettable I suspect even his family forgets him.”

“Regardless, back on topic, before I can transfer control over to you, I must ask you one question… What shape is the world?”Alex, for once, froze; what little research he could recall on this place spoke of religious extremist levels of animosity between different world-shape sects. He would have to answer cautiously.

“The world is world shaped…”

“Wow… why hasn’t anyone thought of that before… Dickens write that down and spread it. The world is world shaped!!!”

“Now you are the real boss, would you like to become your own boss… I have essential oils that can cure death,” Nutter explained, bringing out a box of vials with skulls and crossbones on them.

“Vic over there was hung by the neck, and this saved him,” Nutter explained, gesturing to a skeleton hanging in the corner.

“Stripped the flesh right off his bones, and without flesh, he couldn’t suffocate. If you join now, you can recruit six others and become a real gang boss…”

Alex now realised his fundamental mistake; the madhouse now seemed to have a very pyramidal shape to it.

—----------------------

As this was all happening, Yuu had arrived at what, after a few beatdowns, she had been told was Stonefist’s base of operations. Looking up at the structure that was clearly an industrial smelting operation, Yuu couldn’t help but let out an amazed whistle.

She had grown up with these kinds of places being her playground, and she could tell quality from crap. This was what she would define as a middle ground; perhaps there is a word that could be made by merging these two words. But unlike in previous parts, the author won’t combine these words despite the connor on your faces.

As Yuu approached the front door of the workshop, she was approached by a towering pair. One was a golem, and the other was a titan.

“Please stop this is not a tourist destination,” the golem said. This surprised Yuu; in her drunken memories, the few bits she could access told her that talking golems that could fully converse weren’t meant to be a thing for another few decades.

“He’s right, missy,” the titan added.

“I’m here to see Stonefist.” All at once, bother beings began to go pale white. Which was impressive, considering the golem was made out of red clay.

“Mr Stonefist, the most durable dwarf to have ever lived and will ever exist, prefers we use his full name.”

“Well, tell Stonefist I am here to take over as I’m more durable.”

“That’s not how our leadership works, missy,” the golem explained.

“I don’t care, STONEFIST OI STONEFIST, I’VE COME TO TAKE YOUR THRONE!!!”

“WHO DARE NOT USE MY FULL NAME?!!! GUARDS, BRING THIS INSOLENT WHELP TO ME!!!” A voice rumbled from within the workshop.

“Oh, you’ve gone and done it now, missy,” the golem said, shaping his face into an angry frown.

As she was escorted through the workshop, Yuu could see several anvils and crucibles where forging work was being performed. Looking up the stairs, she was now being dragged up; she could see a sizeable industrial crucible filled with bubbling molten metal. The aroma reminded her of her mum's cooking; it was clearly a high-carbon steel mixture.

“SO THIS IS The… my gods, you’re beautiful… my lady, you can call me Stonefist if you want…” Stonefist said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Stonefist the fragile?” Yuu asked.

“Oh, to suffer such blows to my heart… but it now is red hot with passion; your blows are only forging my love for you further.”

“Come on, Pebblefist the soft; I am the most durable one here… so I’m taking over.”

“Tell you what…” Stonefist began with a smirk seeing his opening.

“Let’s have a competition of toughness… You win, you can be the boss… I win; you become my wife.”

Normally, when someone has been given an offer like this, they would hesitate to consider the possibility of losing. Yuu much like Alex, lacked a very special trait many people possess. This is the trait known as impulse control, so without even letting him punctuate his challenge with a fullstop, she had accepted.

“I accept!”

“That eager to marry me ‘ey?”

“Crowbar, go let the chapel know to prepare for a wedding; I want to have her as my wife before the day ends,” Stonefist ordered towards a titan, who nodded and rushed out of the workshop.

“We will start with a dwarven traditional combat round,” Stonefist said as he gestured to an anvil.

It is worth noting that dwarves are very durable. Even those born to parents via the fun method are a magnitude more durable than many other races. With their fondness for alcohol added, the dwarves have a long-standing tradition of showing off with feats of durability. Yuu herself was never challenged or invited to such events, mostly because it would be like playing a no-death run of a game where the community says ‘git gud’ a lot.

“Bring out the anvils,” Stonefist ordered as two gargantuan anvils as tall as Yuu and Stonefist were dragged out.

“I shall go first,” Stonefist declared.

“Ladies first and all,” Yuu replied. Stonefist stood in front of his anvil, swung his head back and brought it back forward in a headbutt. All at once the room was showered with shrapnel as the anvil shattered upon impact.

“See, my lady?” Stonefist bragged as he wrinkled his brow, revealing what looked like a six-pack on his head.

“Wasteful,” Yuu muttered as she stepped up to her anvil, swung her head back and smacked it into it. The room was quiet as everyone looked at a perfectly intact anvil without even a dent.

“I see I win then!!” Stonefist declared, pumping his fist.

“Hang on,” Yuu stopped him as she rested a hand on the anvil and shifted it away from its other half. Where Stonefists head had broken, Yuu’s had cut through cleaner than a laser.

“A real dwarf would never shatter an anvil as that is wasteful… a real dwarf would break it in a way they can have two anvils afterwards.”

“Impressive… ok, next challenge!!!” Stonefist whispered to another dwarf who dragged out a fresh anvil for his boss hen brought out two red hot ingots.

“We have one heat to create a knife with our bare hands. Ready?! GO!!” Stonefist, at his own mark, held the red-hot ingot and began punching it against his new anvil. Slowly but surely, the ingot started to warp and take the shape of a crude knife. It had no edge, but he had done it.

Yuu, however, did nothing and just watched with disapproval as he punched a knife out of a block of metal. The moment he held his completed blade up, he looked at Yuu expectantly.

“My Lady, if you actually want to marry, you need only concede.”

“Nah, I'm ok thought I’d give you a handicap as with your smithing skill, it is clear you actually must be handicapped.”

With her insult thrown in his face Yuu took the now cool ingot and began punching it into shape. Unlike with Stonefist’s example, Yuu’s looked like a real knife. To top it off, when she examined the edge, she then poked her fingernail into the flat of the blade and carved out a floral pattern. Just to prove her skill Yuu had smithed and carved a cold ingot into an artisanal blade that all present could tell was superior.

“Magnificent… truly my wife should be capable of no less… last challenge, the crucible challenge…”

At the cue, two small crucibles filled with liquid metal were brought out. Stonefist watched Yuu for her expression, which had yet to change from mild bemusement. Stonefist, while maintaining eye contact, dunked his hand into the crucible and kept it there.

Now while Dwarves are durable, there is still a limit to what a typical dwarf can endure, and there is a time limit for how long he could keep his hand in the crucible. Five minutes passed before he removed his hand and dunked it in water creating a steel cast on his hand.

“My turn then?” Stoneffist nodded.

“I am sad to say that is something I would never do,” Yuu said, putting on faux melancholy.

“I have seen something that I would never do and can no longer bear it… So long cruel workshop,” Yuu then proceeded to fall backwards into the large industrial crucible. Everyone watching had looks of connor on their faces.

“D-did she just kill herself, boss?” one of the dwarves watching asked.

“I was so madly in love with her I was going to move to the north district… but she chose death?” Stonefist lamented as he fell to his knees in despair.

As they looked at the crucible, a little spout of metallic liquid shot up like a water fountain. Surfacing to the top, Yuu gave a little wave to the shocked onlookers.

“Whew, this stuff is chilly in the middle, you know? You want to keep a consistent temperature through the entire crucible,” Yuu explained between gargling sessions.

“I admit defeat…” Stonefist declared not willing to let the woman of his dreams risk herself any further; if he had to be her subordinate to do that, he would.

“Wooo, let’s see Alex become a boss as fast as I did!!!” Stonefist didn’t know who this Alex was, but if he was a love rival, he would hunt him down and trap him in the Madhouse district.