Chapter 55 – Dazed Maiden

The carriage moved to this straight path. Inside the carriage, Dolce looked dazedly at the sky, her thoughts wandering aimlessly, questioning what happened days ago.

“Milady...” Her servant said worryingly. Dolce hasn’t been eating properly. Her usual tone was gone and she was just staring at space as if she could not be bothered to listen to her maidservant. She did not want to eat. She did not want to move as if she was caught in a spell.

“Why...” she muttered yet again, the shadow flicker on her face, her carriage moving down the road. Her maidservant wanted to say something, but the last time she tried she given a glare so cold it made her spine shiver. She could wrestle her fingers, trying to think what she should do.

“Am I ugly?” said Dolce.

“Of course not milady!” said the maid hurriedly. “You are beautiful!”

“Then why did Joshua jump off the cliff?”

“He is just a madman!”

“Maybe, but even though I was trying to be flirty with him, he just leaps away as if he could not stand my presence. Most men would crawl to just try to get my favor...yet he didn’t even give me a single warm glance. Instead, he looked at me with disgust as if I was dirt on the road. He insulted me and insulted the father that I hate the most in the world. I gave him my virginity, and even though he should be glad that I’ll be taking care of him, yet why? I don’t understand it all.”

The maid really wanted to say anything that might comfort the lady. But her thoughts were scattered, fumbling as she tries to find the right words. She has been with Lady Dolce for quite a while now. She has seen her eccentricities and she has seen her rebellious side. She wasn’t evil, and she wasn’t doing anything out of being evil but interest. She was just interested in things and she has been raised in a high society where what she does was acceptable to her peers.

“Milady, you shouldn’t think much about it.”

Her words got Dolce. But Dolce looked at her as if she was retarded. “Do you hear yourself? Not much to think about? Are you dumb? Are you mentally crippled? I was just rejected by a slave despite my beauty. I can understand if that slave got bored with my beautiful body, but we didn’t even any intercourse. I didn’t make love with him, especially with you around. Yet despite the prospect of being able to make love with a beautiful woman like myself. He decided that it was better to jump down a chasm than become mine. Do you know what I am getting at?”

She stomped her feet. She folded her arms, lifting her fair breast angrily. The maidservant hurriedly bowed her head. “It was not my intention!”

“It was not your intention?” she said angrily. “I have no idea that you could be this idiotic...” suddenly Dolce went silent again, her outburst disappearing.

The maidservant sighed inside seeing this. Dolce has been bursting with anger every time she says anything. It was hard to reason with the Lady, especially with her utterly confused.

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“Why...” Dolce said.

“I don’t know,” said the maid tiredly. “Maybe his pride was hurt? No one wants to be a slave?”

Dolce looked at her maid oddly. “Even to someone as beautiful as me?”

“You are beautiful milady,” said the maid tiredly, “But I think that man wasn’t a peasant. He said, “I was born free’ and no peasant would be that confident in culling a traitor spectacularly. He was a foreigner, but a peasant? I don’t think he was. I think he was offended that you were taking his freedom away. I,” The maidservant wanted to say “I don’t want my freedom to be taken too” but she kept it in her heart.

“It makes sense. I’ve heard that he was a foreigner. Still, am I lacking?” said Dolce with her face looking, even more, confuse than ever. “Yet did he not fancy my appearance?”

“Madam, I think he wasn’t interested in that. I,’ she blushed. “I’ve seen what you two did at the city of storms, any man would be pleased, but remember madam, you broke him more than you should. I think he’s afraid of experiencing that and no amount of pleasure would make him stay with you.”

“Why’s that?” asked Dolce.

“It is something that I too will never understand. But I say it is pride, milady.”

“Is that so” she leaned in the carriage’s seat. The carriage rocked as it passed over a stone bridge. Beside the carriage, they could see travelers riding their mounts or carriages.

“Milady,” asked the maidservant in a low voice.

“Yes?”

“What do you think of that man?”

“He bothers me.”

“No love?”

“What do you mean by love?” Dolce’s face crumpled like paper. “How could I be in love with someone like that? No, I don’t think it is love. I just don’t know why he would act like that. And even if it is, I cannot love a dead man.”

“True,” the maid agree. “But milady, if that man is alive, what would you do?”

“I...” Dolce’s voice trailed off. “I have no idea. I don’t know how to face someone who hates me enough to leap down a chasm. I don’t know. I really don’t know. We’ve tried searching for that man’s body for five days. And we know that he probably didn't survive that river of death, and even if he does...I hope we don’t meet again.”

“Why?” asked the maid.

“I don’t know. He scares me, that maddened look he gave me made my heart pound harder than it should. There was a sense of worry inside me when he fell down that chasm, I hate that feeling. And I am glad that he’s dead. I hate the fact that you even suggest it is love. I hate that the first man that I gave my body to, threw his life away like that. I hate this feeling and I think I am done playing with slaves ever again.”

Dolce leaned her elbow in the window. She rested the side of her head, as she watches the road. The maid looked at Dolce before holding her words. She leans back and then behaved herself. If her master didn’t want to speak about it, then why should she?