Chapter 177 – Deprived of Familial Love

The pond was circular. On the side were black stones. Ferns and flowers were near the stones. There was a floating flower with a pinkish color. A fish with white and orange spots was swimming along with its fellow fishes. They were big and they would produce ripples on top of the water. The fishes would swim up and breathe in air. They would then swim back down, producing bubbles.

Dolce squatted near the pond. Her hair fluttered in the wind. She so focused on the fishes that she had no expression. After parting ways with her brother, she let him take a rest. He was injured.

“Logical,” she thought. “To kill the person you hate,” her mind thought again. “It is unethical, to kill the person that was instrumental to one’s birth.”

Dolce thought of the discussion. It made her think. It made her come to this pond. This pond was significant to her. It was the pond that her mother told her to take care off. She has forgotten about the pond. She has let Catalina take care of it.

“Emotional,” she thought inwardly. “Letting the guilt that appeared and making me feel emotions that shouldn’t be possible.”

Behind her were Henry and Elesia. They looked at the silently. The two didn’t say anything. They just stood while scanning the surroundings. Dole ordered them to keep people away.

Dolce dipped her finger in the pond. It was cold. The fishes that were swimming swam away as the water rippled. Dolce traced the water with her finger. She pulled it out. She touched her cheek. She put her hands back to her knee.

“Logical,” she chanted. “Letting the person that angered you, die, will be satisfying. It would make you happy.”

Her thoughts were sorting out the ‘surge’ of emotions she felt. She agreed to her brother’s scheme. She agreed to fight for her brother. She agreed that once the farce over the island was done. She would allow her brother to duel her father to death.

To Dolce, she thinks that her father deserves such honorable death. She wants nothing but to kill her father. Indeed, she loved her father once. But the father she knew was not around anymore. She views her current father as a despicable fool.

She once respected her father. But that was long gone the moment her father turned into an ambitious warmongering fool. The respect she had vanished and there was only seething hate. Not to mention that her mother died because of him.

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Dolce admired her mother. She followed her mother. Obeyed her mother and was willing to do anything for her mother. But the moment her mother died. Something broke inside Dolce. She needed someone to blame. So she logically thought who to blame. All her assumptions and investigations pointed to her father. He was the one to blame. She refused to believe it but when she had removed all the impossible. Whatever remained was the truth. The truth that her mother died because of her father was the truth.

Under the snow that was starting to fall. Dolce stood up. She looked at her reflection. Her face was blank and devoid of anything.

“What am I thinking?” she questioned herself. “Why is this happening? Am I bothered now that the time is ripe? How could I be? This is absurd.”

She shook her head. Her ponytail swayed from left to right. She stomped her right leg on the ground. She looked at the pond again with meaningful eyes. She recalled the days when her mother alive. It was a time where she would sit under the grounds of the compound along with her mother. They would look at the stars.

She recalled the scene of her mother teaching her about the pond that was in front of her. Her mother’s gentle expression would narrate the fishes. She remembered that the fishes inside were the kinds of fishes that would light under the moon. Her mother called them moonlight fishes. She looked at the fishes closely. The fishes were different. They were long-lived fishes. And even the snow and cold do not bother them.

The pond did not freeze because of its location. Catalina would also regularly check the pond. She would make sure that it won’t freeze. She has done her best to do so.

Dolce was grateful. The pond was a remembrance of her father. It was one of the things that she would be sad if it was gone. She looked at the pond with a hint of sadness. Her blank expression vanished and with her back turned around. No one was able to see the face that she was hiding from the world.

Beyond the bravery and the eccentricity she had. Dolce was nothing but a distraught little girl that was deprived of her mother. She turned twisted and rebellious. Her mother was a shining star to her life. She was like a planet. And without that shining star, she was starting to wither.

Her father lost his meaning when the woman he loved died. Dolce’s brother lost his light and turned into his rage. They were empty. And they turned into different things in order to feel alive. Dolce hated her father to the point she would make sure that she wouldn’t be of use as a card. Her brother was acting obedient but deep inside he was a schemer that was plotting to kill her father.

“How deplorable!” she laughed at her own self. She looked at the sky with a bitter smile and scowled. “Mother, why did you leave us? Why did we become such twisted beings? A family should love each other, yet I do not feel it! Are we cursed to be like this? Without you, we are a ship without sails!”

She cursed upon the sky quietly. The snow fell on her forehead. The little light coming from the sky shined on her face. She gritted her teeth. She clutched her heart and took a deep breath. Her face slowly calmed down. The woman deprived of any familial love turned back to normal.

She looked at the fishes again. She gazed at them before turning around and striding towards Henry and Elesia. She told them that they should go. The two could feel that the lady was in a bad mood. They only nodded and followed her.