[Alysha's Pov]

Me and the bro-con enter a big and dark room filled with weirdos. That's the only plausible way to describe them, I mean, they're all wierd. Itachi enters with me on his shoulder in a small cat form. The orange-haired guy announces "Here is our new member. Itachi Uchiha of the sharingan." 

I can see the wierd snake... scientist... murmur something about Itachi's eyes. He's up to no good, I know it~.

I simply sit on Itachi's shoulder, not saying anything. I kinda don't want to talk with these weirdos if I can help it, as I found that simply staying along for the ride with Itachi sounds like much more fun. I mean, who wouldn't want to stay with a guy as cool as him? He actually sometimes laughs... somewhat at my jokes. And that's already a big plus on my books.

Pain makes Itachi cut a line on his headband, I think it's to simbolyse that he doesn't own alligiance to Konoha anymore. How sad, since he actually still does. Oh well...

After a little bit of chatting between members, they all disperse, and Pain casually says "Jozu, take Itachi as your patner. Also, I never heard you had a cat, Itachi." I look at this Jozu guy. I think he should die sometime before the ninja exams, since at that time Itachi will be patnered with the fish. 

"That's because this is not my cat. I have no idea of who she really is, she said she wanted to join Akatsuki." Pain looks at me with discerning eyes. I look back at him and after a bit of staring I say "Why are you controlling your best friend's corpse~?"

Pain's eyes open wide, and I stick out my cat tongue at him. His eyes sharpen and he looks at me, I think he's trying to decide wether to kill me or not. "Now now~. Don't get violent, as I'm just here to help you~. I'll help you guys and in return, get my share of fun doing so~! Isn't it like, the best deal you can get~? I know quite a number of secrets y'know?" He still looks at me with a frown, before saying

"Fine. I suppose you want to be a member?" I think for a bit and say "Eh, not really. I'll just tag along with the idiot here." I say and poke Itachi's head. He still had a passive look despite my way of acting. How nice that he doesn't mind if I call him mean things~.

He nods his head and goes away. Itachi turns away and heads out as well... Why are these guys so unfriendly with each other? Seriously, shouldn't they like, try to work togheter?

As we walk out, the guy with a huge swords comes towards Itachi and says "Well, newbie, you're going to be patnered with me. I don't know if you want to take your cat with you during our missions." Itachi simply looks at him and says "If you can get rid of her, I'd be quite happy."

I immediately get riled up and say "Shut up, you retarded bro-con who only knows how to throw kunais and fireballs. At least I try to have fun, unlike somebody who thinks life's all one huge sacrifice. And you, sword guy, I'm not just any cat, I'm the strongest cat in existance, so do give me some respect for it." I say and the guy had his eyes wide open.

"You can talk?" He says, to which I immediately says "No. I only miao and purr. Of course I can talk you retard, and as for your information, I can turn into a human if you want, and I can fight all of Akatsuki alone and easily win, so don't underestimate me." He laughs a bit and says "Ah really, cat? I'd like to see if you can back up your claims..." Before he can say anything, I fire a small cannonball from my mouth using my fortress fruit and he gets exploded away.

He gets back up, coughing, and says "... Okay, don't do that again or I'll fucking kill you. I get it, you're not weak, now let's get going." Both me and Itachi, who had been silently watching us, nod. We walk out of the building after Pain assigns us a mission. 

As we're walking along, I casually ask Jozu "Nee~, where are we going? What are we gonna do? Are we gonna get to cause bloodsheds? Do we get to kill people? Blow them up? Assassinate?" I continue pestering Jozu and Itachi for an entire two hours, before Itachi loses his cool and throws me away.

I hiss in annoyance, and say "Ah, is that how it is!? Fine! I'll stop, but I want your shoulder!" Itachi immediately answers "Tomorrow. Bad kitties don't get shoulders." I sulk a bit and the Jozu guy laughs and says "Just when did you two meet? I never heard of you having a cat."

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Itachi looks at him and says "She suddently appeared after I... did what I did. She says she's here just for fun, so do try to get the real reason out of her." 

I look at the two idiots with a blank face, and then say "Ah~. Is that how it is? Treating me like I'm an animal? Talking like I'm not here~? Well, fuck you too." I say and turn into my human form. Itachi had turned away the moment I transformed, and the Jozu guy was looking at me with an open mouth.

"What? Like what you see~? Are you perhaps a pervert?" I say and conjure some clothes around me, which makes it look like they just suddently appeared. I had a skirt, a long-sleeves shirt and Akatsuki's robes on. Underwears as well, but that should be obvious.

"Hah... Shut up, you're the pervert here." He says to me. Well, I certainly can't deny that I'm curious what having intimate relations with a man feels like, but I'm not a hopeless pervert, I mean, I still hold my dignity as a virgin. 

We spend about two weeks like this, relaxing and just generally chatting with each other. Jozu and Itachi almost never talk with each other willingly, and only when do I start a conversation do they actually talk. How boring... I'm already feeling myself beginning to lose some of my sanity after so long without bloodshed...

After said two weeks, we finally arrive at the destination of our mission. Our job is to kill a family member of some high-ranking clan. Boring stuff... We're just doing this for reputation and money, so it's not like it really matters.

"Hey, bro-con, Jozu, can't we just blow up the entire area and kill everyone in it? Wouldn't that make everything so much easier instead of having to assassinate them?" Jozu looked at me and said "Our client only ordered to kill him and those who would stand between us and him, so no. We're not killing everyone here, but you can simply go on one of your insanity fits and kill the target if you want." 

Ah~ yes. I did have some insanity fits a couple times where I started laughing maniacally and began to fire random cannon shots everywhere... fun times, real fun times...

"Okay boss~. So, do I take on a frontal assault and distract the guards whilst you two sneak in and kill the guy~? I'm no good at infiltrating." They nod. We had decided this plan beforehand due to my abilities. I only revealed my tyrannical strenght and my ability to shoot cannonballs out of my body from my inner fortress. I only do it from my hands and mouth though, as it looks wierd otherwise and it's harder to aim. 

We wait for nightfall to arrive. Our objective is inside a mansion in a small village, and whilst the guards aren't a problem, if the bigger forces take notice of us it'd be annoying, so our main focus is to do this quickly. 

I wait for Itachi to give us the signal, and as soon as he does, I begin to fire at the mansion's walls and gates, destroying them quickly. I keep shooting as I advance, making pistol signs with my hands and firing randomly at the mansions.

My cannonballs, being coated in destruction and fired from giant 10 meter long cannons, are pretty~ strong. Considering I cloned 5000 cannons inside myself and have hundreds of thousands of zombies manning them, so I never run out of cannons to shoot even though they take 5 minutes to reload. 

Soon enough, guards arrive from inside the mansion and see me as I make a cool gangster pose. I point my finger-gun at them and fire. The guard who gets hit loses his entire lower body, who then explodes behind him. He falls down, blood and organs pouring out. This was enough to send me into a mass-killing spree, and I begin to shoot every guard who comes out, pouring down hell on them.

I do get hit by several kunais and some jutsus, but I ignore them. Some try casting genjutsu on me, but I discovered I'm completely immune to it due to my immortality. The god did state that I have 100% resistance to slavery magic, and I guess genjutsu counts as slavery magic due to trapping you inside of an illusion...? I'm really not sure how or why it works, but I'm surely not going to complain.

After 5 minutes, all the mansion's guards were dead and Itachi and Juzu come out. They looked at me and both nodded, meaning the mission was a success. We quickly flee the area, and run outside the village.

"Well, you're quite the destructive one, Alysha. Couldn't you hold back a bit? That was a bit exxagerated even for me." I look at Juzu with a raised eyebrow and say "Shut up. I understand you enough to know that you'd have killed them even more painfully then I did, so don't reprimend me for something you would've done yourself!" He rolls his eyes. Satisfied at my win, I turn into my cat form and jump at Itachi, who barely manages to catch me.

"Nee, I want a reward. Pet me~!" He looked at me blankly for a while, but when I nudged him with my head he began to scratch my ears. Hehe~... petting after mass-murdering a mansion's guard reperoir and terrorizing a town feels great!

We made our way back to our small encampment, where we're supposed to report that we accomplished the mission and receive another one close to our location. Meanwhile, I was getting a nice~ petting from Itachi. It felt good in a bit of a naughty way~, but I didn't tell him that, obviously.