Andrew VI
Sara was the one who found Mom dead in the bathtub. She ran to me screaming for me to help but it was already too late. There was just a lifeless corpse covered in reddish-pink water. That was the night I closed off my heart. That was the night I decided to never cry again so I could be strong.
There’s this idea in Sara’s head that Mom was kind to us. If that’s the lie she told herself to handle the trauma she gave us, then I don’t mind. I know the truth. I can carry all the verbal and physical abuse for her. I don’t blame her for running away from Dad’s abuse either. I can carry it all for both of us.
Because I’m Andrew Fucking Mera.
Sara has been through a lot; more than anyone should. The fact that this entire time it was Lyle who kept her captive makes me sick. It makes me so fucking angry that I just want to jump the asshole the second I see him. I bleed from my gums every time I enter the warehouse thinking that day is the last day I’ll be alive. I know if I do what I want to I won’t make it out. I’m fine with that. All as long as Sara gets her justice. And every single time, he’s not there. I get to live another day.
Today’s different. Today I know for a fact he’ll be there.
-
It’s not where I go first.
Instead, Cody meets me at his front door after his brother fetched him for me. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Catching up with my best buddy, Cody-kin,” I grin but’s hard to keep.
“No thanks,” he says almost shutting the door.
I have it slammed on my hand just so I can stop it. “Not why I’m really here, dumbass. I have something of importance to tell you.”
Cody sighs and steps outside. “What?”
“It’s about Elizabeth, I figured everything out.”
Yeah, I have. After what Sara told me a couple of days ago it all started to make sense.
“About?”
“It’s Lyle, mate. We’ve been played. I’ve been played this entire time. It's all been him. He's the one who fucked her up.”
“And who's fault is that? You're the one who got her involved.”
“Yeah, yeah, that's on me.”
I always found it odd that almost all of Lyle’s dealers, workers, and runners are girls. I’m one of the few males that runs around the building. The sick fuck gets a kink overseeing all of them or something like that. He brainwashes them.
I talked to a few of them on occasion to find out what the deal is. Every single one of them is grateful to him. They all say he saved their lives and gave them purpose. They’re all strong now. It’s all bullshit, they all firmly believe in what they’re doing. They don’t see anything wrong in trying to rebuild what Golden Hearts left.
“Elizabeth stuck around to him. He started to use her, like he using me,” I say. Cody crosses his arms. “He’s the one who drove her mad, not us.”
“Oh, so now you care? What do you want? ”
“Nah,” I shake my head. “He’s the one who kept Sara. That’s how I know now. It’s what he does. He gets these girls and fucks them up. Makes them see him as a god. ”
“Sara?” Cody drops his arms. “Is that what happened? Why are you telling me this?”
“Because,” I pause unsure what to say next. “I see the true evil. I know what needs to be done. You were the closest to Ellie. You should know. Lyle probably who gave her the gun too.”
Although if he gave her a gun that means-
Nah that idea is too preposterous.
Cody looks at me like he wants to believe me. “Why do I get the feeling you’re gonna do something stupid.”
“Someone has to stop him. For Ellie. For Sara.”
“Or you can let it go. Just stop.”
I chuckle, “Funny. Sara told me the exact same thing. I just can’t stop Cody. You and I both knew where I was heading the second I started working for him. I’m a disgusting filth of a human being, I deserve to go out the way I want to.”
“You’re serious.”
“I’m sorry I fucked Elizabeth. That wasn’t cool of me.”
There’s silence for a minute. I’m not sure if it’s because Cody doesn’t know what to say or because this is the first time I ever apologized for something and meant it. Cody sits on the doorstep of his porch. “Is this your pathetic way of redemption?”
“Redemption?” I scoff. “I can’t be redeemed. Not anymore.”
“As much as I hate you I don’t want you dead.”
“Appreciate it.”
“If what you saying is true, then was it really out of our hands this entire time? Just how much was she keeping from us? I don’t get it.”
“We all keep our secrets.”
“What the fuck was she doing?”
“Don’t know.”
Truth is. I don’t know anything about Lyle. I just know that people refer to him as Mendelssohn sometimes. It’s a name probably given to him when he was in Golden Hearts. I heard all the high-rankers were given names of Classical composers—their leader went as Azul Amadeus and had a fascination with classical. When the gang went down and he died, almost all the officers got arrested.
They usually never went with the actual name just part of it or whatever was pleasant to hear. There was Bach, Ludwig, Chopin, Vivaldi, Liszt, Claude, and many others. Nearly all of them are behind bars. Who knows how many were there and what they’re doing now? I guess Lyle was one of them.
I’ve tried to do research on him. There’s nothing and probably because Lyle isn’t his real name either. He’s a ghost, just like the name Sessions implies. There’s no history of this guy, nothing to look up, and just thousands of questions left unanswered.
Cody finally stands. “Do what you have to do. Find peace knowing that’s the only good thing you’ll ever do in your life.”
“Aw, thanks for the kind words.”
“And sorry I blamed you for everything, especially for Emily.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Nah you got it all wrong, mate. Don’t feel bad for me now,” I stand up, thinking now is a good time to walk away. It’ll be all dramatic and shit. “I’ve always been jealous of you, y’know. Don’t ruin it for me, now.”
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I get to walk away without hearing his response.
Redemption? No. It’s far too late for that. Even If I were to die today, death doesn’t vindicate me. It doesn’t vindicate. I’m not a good person, fuck I’m not even in the conversation. I’ve known for a long time where I’ve been heading. I’ve been fine with it. I didn’t care who I hurt, I didn’t care if I got arrested, hell I didn’t even care if the whole world turned against me. I wanted this. I chose this for myself. I’ve had this one-way ticket to hell for a reason.
At least I can protect my sister with this.
And it’s better if she doesn’t know. She’s the only one who could convince me to stop. It’ll destroy her sure, but she’s in good hands. She’ll live.
My thoughts are interrupted when I spot Grace Emily and the girl from the diner all sitting together on Emily’s porch. I should’ve known the girl from the diner was Emily’s sister. It would have been an easy guess if I knew Ems was back in town. They might not look too much alike but their hair is identical now. She was also at Grace’s picnic, fascinated that I was there.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite ladies,” I smirk walking up to them.
“Go away, Andrew,” Emily tells me. “What are you even doing in this part of town?”
“Hi, Andrew,” Grace says weakly. Fuck this hoe for kicking me out of her party even though she came with me for that rave. Maybe she was mad I didn’t pop her dumb little cherry.
“Catching up with Cody. Patching things up, I would say.”
Emily laughs as if it’s some joke, “No way he would do that.”
“He’s a changed man, Ems, gotta thank you for that.”
“He hates you,” she says as he hasn’t been a shell of a person ever since she left. The day of the picnic was the first time I’d seen him with light in his eyes. It’s not that Emily is back either, something else happened.
“I don’t know, maybe you should actually talk to him and find out. He might surprise you.” I turn my head to Ems's sister. She’s giving me some eyes. “Who’s this ball of firecrackers?”
She stands and takes a few steps forward to give me a handshake. “Jerrica. It’s a pleasure to finally meet the infamous Andrew Mera.”
“You tryna fuck later or?”
I make her laugh. I gotta admit, she was pretty interesting when I first met her at the diner. She walks with this swagger that I have never seen a girl have. I don’t get her motive and I don’t get why she’s fascinated with me. I have never known a girl to be the first to make the first move.
“You wish.”
“Leave Jerrica alone and just go, right?”
“Grace you really hurt me by kicking me out of your birthday party, can I get an apology.”
“No, you weren’t invited.”
“Fair enough,” I chuckle. “I know this ain't the best time, but you guys were cool. Especially you, Grace, it was entertaining seeing you stumble on how to be like us. And Ems? Sorry, I crashed the car, I didn’t know what to do. See ya.”
That’s all I need to say. That’s all there is to it. They don’t need to know what’s going on. They probably wouldn’t care anyway.
The second I get to my house I do as many lines as I need. It’s a lot. The closer I get the more anxious it feels. Nah, it’s not anxiety, it’s excitement.
I do more lines the second I park at the warehouse.
Inside, everyone’s here except for Lyle. Fuck it’s frustrating. Acid specifically told me he’ll be here today.
I find Acid talking to one of the girl chemists that make the LSD. “Yo man, I thought Lyle was gonna be here. Where is he?”
Acid isn’t pleased I interrupted him. “I don’t know. He was a few hours ago but he ran off by himself. Now fuck off, Sessions wants to talk to you.”
“You and I both know that bitch doesn’t talk,”
“Communicate, now go.”
Sessions is sitting on top of her desk with her legs crossed while she’s signing with Chris. These two don’t spend a second apart lately. Chris hasn’t ever shown interest in a girl. If anyone would catch his interest of course it would be the albino mute.
Chris steps aside when I approach and Sessions writes on a whiteboard this time. “There you are. I need a favor. ”
“No, where’s Lyle? I need to talk to him.”
Sessions looks puzzled as she erases her whiteboard. She writes, “You don’t need to know.”
“Nah, tell me.”
“You have been angry for a while, Andrew. Something happen?” Chris says.
I glare at Chris. His eyes aren’t here. Every time I see him it feels like he’s present less and less. He’s always been a weirdo but lately, it’s like he’s losing even that.
“What are you even doing here? You and I both know it’s impossible to make the original Winter. What’s in it for you?”
“Leave him alone,” Sessions writes. “You can’t see Lyle for today. Not yet.”
“Why?!”
She sighs and turns herself around to sit on her chair then she scrambles around a drawer. She pulls out a remote for the TV she keeps but I’ve never seen one. Once it’s on, she changes the channel to the news.
It’s the breaking news; the brother of the dead leader of Golden Hearts has been murdered. The saddened look on Sessions tells me all I need to know. Chris walks forward to get a better look. “I don’t get it, why?”
I don’t get it either. Why would Lyle kill the little brother of his former boss? The news elaborates on who he is. I don’t recognize him. Yet they say he was married to that artist my sister really likes. They don’t say who the killer is but it happened over the attempted kidnapping of the wife and daughter.
“Why the fuck would he do that?”
“Fulfilling his destiny, he said,” Sessions writes. “Chris could you leave us for a bit.”
“Sure.”
Sessions props herself up back to sit on her desk. “You need to stop whatever you think you’re doing.”
“What?!”
“I’m telling you it’s a bad idea.”
“What the fuck? What are you talking about?”
Sessions glares at me. “I know what you want to do.” I don’t say anything as she continues to write on her whiteboard. “It’s not time yet. At least not now. I just need a little more time then we can be free.”
“So I’m right. You don’t want to be here either.”
Session smiles and nods her head once.
“You’re just like the girls here, aren’t you?
Session’s smile drops as she nods again. “If I ask you to help when the time comes. Will you? We’re the only ones who can stop his madness.”
“Us? You know there’s the feds right?”
“I don’t think you know how powerful he is. The girls he puppets are his protection. They're in government, business, and law. They're all deadly loyal to him. I’m the only one who can stop him, but I needed Chris to tell me the best way. I need you."
"My sister. That was you. Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"You would have failed."
“Did you do it out of the kindness of your heart or just so I can be in debt to you?”
“I did it to make up for the mistake of letting him grab hold of Elizabeth. ”
Session’s weird white eyes don’t break from mine. I don’t allow mine to break either. All of this is coming too fast and I don’t fully process everything yet. I just know we’re in the end game now. I get to live another day and maybe I don’t have to go at it alone. “And what do I have to do with it?”
“You want to forgive yourself, this is how you do it. "
Fuck it. “Then let’s do it.
Sessions extends her hand while she holds up her new piece of writing. “Close your eyes.”
I’m hesitant but I close my eyes and take her hand.
-
I’m back home. Sara’s by my side. She’s a kid again. I’m a kid again. I’m holding her hand while she cries. “She-she hit me again.”
“It’s okay, she’s just drunk, she doesn’t mean it.”
“I hate her! I want her dead.”
I smack her lightly on her head. “You don’t mean that. She’s the only mom we have.”
Sara curls up to hug her knees. “I thought moms were supposed to be nice. At least Dad is.”
“He doesn't stop Mom though.”
“Will you promise you won’t be like them, Andy?”
“I promise and I’ll always be there for you. I’ll always be there to protect you. I won't ever let you cry again.”
-
Sara leaps onto Emily’s bed. We’ve all gathered here for an after-party. Everyone else is downstairs while it's just us two. No, Elizabeth is with us too. She’s who helped me carry Sara upstairs.
“Oh my god! I had so much fun!” Sara groans as she makes herself comfortable.
Elizabeth giggles, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You really went crazy tonight.”
I myself am rolling balls, jewing on a piece of gum. “How’d you like it? Told you our shit beats anything your dumb little friends can offer.”
Elizabeth flops her back onto the bed. “No, no they can’t,” She giggles. “I think I have you figured out, Andrew.”
“Oh?” I sit on account of my legs shaking too much. “How so?”
“For the longest time, I always thought the only one you cared about is Sara. It’s not. You care a lot, don’t you? You love your friends the most. You just have the facade so nobody can hurt you.”
That shit makes me laugh. “Right, you caught me,” I say sarcastically.
“He’s such a big softie!” Sara drunkenly slurs.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” Elizabeth sits up. She carries a smile that wins over everyone. It’s so gentle, so warm. It almost wins me over. For a second I forget who I am. I don’t say anything. I could easily tell her she’s wrong but I don’t. My silence gives her the answer she wants so she stands. She rubs my hair and walks out of the room. “I’ll keep it a secret.”
-
When I open my eyes, Sessions is adjusting her bangs.