Chapter 51 The Whispers of the Night.
Everyone is suffering pain.
Some beings will fault themselves, and thus bring more pain.
Some will blame others, and thus bring more pain.
Some will turn cold, some will turn hot,
some will spiral, and some will climb.
But at the end, everyone suffers, there’s no way around it.
Amaret, the Great Sinner.
I wake up in bed, covered in a cold sweat. It’s only a dream. Her laughter echoes and I catch a glimpse of glittering green dust. It’s only a dream… relax… that bitch Milasulalariata!!! I’m going to kill her! Ugh!!!
I get up and head for the bathroom. It’s the middle of the night, but I can find my way with the dim light from the candles in the corridor.
I hear the familiar voices of Berthold and Elitar out of the window. I catch the sound of my name but it’s hard to hear anything else. I hold my needs in and try to eavesdrop, curious. Yet, the voices are too far and outside the window. I weave four patterns of wind mana keeping my hand on my chest and whisper. “uak lata wu hii fe-niuak”
I cast an ‘Enhanced Hearing’ cantrip, and I can hear them clearly, almost as if I’m sitting with them outside.
“Yeah, I know. She’s terrifying, I seriously think she’ll kill me if I look at her the wrong way…” I hear Berthold’s voice.
“She’s snowing mad… women like her are dangerous. Sadly we don’t have a choice about bringing her. I understand why the boss ordered us not to act like we’re afraid near her. We don’t have to upset her. Upset mages are dangerous… the way she smiled after killing that poor guard…” That’s Elitar’s voice. They are definitely talking about me. I hate that they’re scared of me, but I get why…
So Salik told them not to act like they’re afraid near me… that’s… I don’t know if to be mad or pleased that he thought of that… I don’t want people walking on eggshells near me…
“Yeah. I really thought she’s windy, I still do… but every time I think about touching her; I see myself dying later on. I can’t stomach being anywhere near her right now, even if she does have a thing for me too…” Berthold continues.
“She doesn’t.”
“I am telling you pea-brain, we had a moment out there in the forest…”
Elitar sighs. “Whatever moment you think you had, it wasn’t real. Trust me. She was playing you from the start, that’s what women do. Why would you want a woman like that to have feelings for you anyway? If you look at her wrong or say something wrong, she’ll just kill you. You could see how she didn’t care about Sorer’s death. It’s like he meant nothing to her, she didn’t even give him a second look!”
“I don’t know, she’s still windy… the way she kills and that magic makes her even windier! She can also summon this fairy she calls an elemental and…”
“Look, I get it. Some people are attracted to dangerous women. Considering our profession, you might say that we’re all attracted to danger in some way. Just don’t forget that nothing good can come out of it, ok?” With my spell, I can even hear Elitar patting Berthold’s back. “Some of the most dangerous creatures in nature are very beautiful and colorful, just look at that fairy that got away, but you should know about that better than I do…”
“I hear you. I feel like a goblin in the snow sometimes… Like I said I can’t get close to her after she killed that guard, so my snow doesn’t matter anyway…”
Ok, I’ve heard enough, and my stomach is killing me… they won't stop saying snow all the time... stupid slang... one of them thinks I am so dangerous that I’ll kill them if they look at me the wrong way, and the other is attracted to me only because he sees me as dangerous… great! Just great! Ugh! I hate this so much!
Wasn’t that what I wanted? Power? For people to fear and respect me? So no one could just touch me as they pleased?
No, I wanted them to see me as helpful and need me. I thought they’d treat me as their hero once I got their payday. I never wanted them to fear me like that, I only wanted to scare that stupid noble lady… this is so frustrating…
Maybe it’s for the best… if they fear me, at least they won’t try anything stupid… Maybe I should sleep with Berthold… it might calm him down… I do crave some good tumble… I need some human touch right now… I’m so lonely I could cry… great… now I’m crying… I’ll sleep with him, Yes.
Seriously?! The guy is terrified of me! He’ll just do anything I want, how is it different than rape? ugh! This is so annoying! I’m so lonely right now… I miss Kolag… and Lezere… Should’ve stayed with them more in my spare time… I really wish Kolag was here, I could love him and have him love me back… I could really use a hug right now…
No… if I show that I love Kolag, the hag will use him against me somehow, I know that all too well. I’m not allowed to love until I get stronger…
Enough about Kolag! Focus on opening these ten mana pools for now. I am also afraid of falling in love… I’ve seen enough girls falling head over heels for guys. Making them do stupid things for those men and lose their minds entirely. I don’t want to be one of those girls… but I also don’t want to be like those manly ungroomed and aggressive mercenary women either. I like grooming myself… I want to look good, and I do enjoy some attention from men…
Ugh… being a teenager is so annoying!!! I’m way older, but my body and emotions still act like a stupid teenager. I hope this goes away in a few years… in the meantime, I have a few options. Either continue as I was, repressing my loneliness. Or let myself love someone, ignoring the possibility of the object of my affection being used against me by the hag…
I think I’ll take the first one… the second option has too many ways it can go wrong… The only thing that can go wrong with the first one is that loneliness is very hard to deal with. I didn’t expect it to be so hard… but I’ll have to get used to it…
I finish my business in the toilet and head back to my room. Berthold jumps into the corridor from the window. We just stand there, staring at each other, stunned. I can feel my heart racing. Too aware that I'm not wearing a whole lot. No, just no, I am not doing it… “Want to come to my room?”
“Y…yes!”
What am I doing?! Can’t I control myself?! Argh… just this once… He’s not Kolag, but he’s warm and he wants me…
Locking the door behind me I lose all sense of control, pressing myself against him and kissing him. He actively responds. My struggles with loneliness and ambitions simply don’t matter anymore, I don’t have to think about it. I just want to feel good. To have someone hug me and say it’ll be alright. That I am a good person, and that he loves me despite how terrible I am, despite my ambitions. Or someone who’d pin me down and be stronger than me, someone who won’t fear me so much, or at least pretend he doesn’t.
But Berthold doesn’t do either of those things. He’s very submissive. “Get out!” I shout angrily before I even take off his shirt. This isn’t what I want… and he’s doing it because he’s afraid of me…
“Wh… what?”
“I said, get out!”
“I’m sorry!” He runs out of my room and I slam the door behind him with my mind.
Ugh! I want to break something!
After tossing and turning in my bed for five to ten minutes, I put something on and get down to the inn’s common room. A single sleepy barmaid is manning the desk. “Give me something to drink! The strongest thing you can find!”
“She’ll drink some warm pomegranate wine, pour one for me too.” Salik shows up from nowhere again. “What’s going on Marisha?”
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Go away! “Nothing.” I shrug, accepting the wine and going to one of the many empty tables.
He follows me and sits at the other side of the table. “Can I at least hear why Berthold barged into my room in the middle of the night claiming that you’re going to kill him?”
“I am not going to kill him, he’s just a jar in bed so I sent him away. Can I drink in peace now?” I am in no mood for that idiotic archer or anyone else. I just wanted to drown myself, to feel good. I chug down the warm wine, ignoring the horrible sour taste. It makes me cough as it burns down my throat.
“Is this your first time drinking?” Salik wouldn’t leave me alone.
“Maybe. I drank a little a year ago, when someone I knew died…”
“A little? A gulp or two?”
I nod. “Your point?”
“You should take it slowly…”
“Don’t want to… I want to pass out!”
“If you want to pass out then take it slowly. Drink more, but slowly. If you keep drinking like that, you’ll puke your guts all over the floor.” he says with furrowed thick eyebrows.
“Ok, thanks for the tip…” Nothing to puke anymore… already emptied my stomach... but there is no harm in listening to experience, and my goal is to pass out after all.
We drink in silence. It’s peaceful, he doesn’t say anything, and I don’t say anything. It’s nice that he doesn’t talk, there is nothing to talk about…
“The guard. Was that your first human kill?” Great, now he has to talk just when I thought this silence was nice!
“Seventeenth.”
“Excuse me?”
“Seventeenth human or orc kill,” I explain.
“I see…”
If you’re going to talk about how killing is hard and stays with you; I am going to splash this wine in your face! To my relief, he doesn’t say anything. He just sits there, drinking his wine in silence. And then requests some ale from the sleepy barmaid. Time crawls, long minutes of silence with nothing but the sound of the crackling fire from behind me.
“Do you think I am dangerous?” I ask quietly when he receives his ale.
“Yes, you are. Everyone and everything is dangerous given the right circumstances…”
Good point and a very diplomatic answer… nice save… fitting of a mercenary leader who has to negotiate constantly I guess… “Would you want to sleep with me?”
“No.”
This quick brainless answer hurts me more than it should have. “Why?”
He takes a long sip from his ale, then puts it down on the table, wiping the foam from his mouth. “You’re not my type, and you’re way too young for me.”
“Do you think I am attractive?” Why do I even ask him these questions?! Why does it bother me so much?! I want magic! I want to be powerful! I want to go back to my family! I don’t want love! I don’t want to marry anyone damn it! It’s not like I can even have children to begin with!
“Yes, you are. But even if you are attractive, it doesn’t mean every man will want you. Different men have different tastes in women and vice versa…”
Good point, can’t argue with that… I guess he likes big chests or something… This is annoying… I spent most of my growth years without enough food, of course it wouldn’t grow! I hope I’m still growing… I did get a little taller lately… here’s to hoping… I take another sip from my wine and sit silently for a while, watching him doing the same.
Salik plays with his mug circling it around like a wine glass. “I can tell you turned eighteen not too long ago, and you’re already considered an adult. I know that makes you feel like you want to explore the world… It’s none of my business, but I’d advise you to wait before getting into a relationship with a man. Those tend to leave scars on you.”
“Thanks, I know.” Oh boy… you have no idea mister… going to keep my real age to myself here… it’s really nice of him to care for me like that. It’s nice to have someone to care about me at all… it’s…
A traitorous tear trickles down my cheek.
I guess this is what I’ve been missing… someone that cares for me like this… It doesn’t have to be sexual… his fatherly or brotherly care is just as good… even better! Way better than Berthold’s blind worship…
“Thank you… I mean it… and I’m sorry Berthold woke you up…”
He chuckles. “That’s my job. Making sure we won’t kill each other while being out here.”
“I am not going to kill him. You can get back to bed if you want…”
“I think I’ll stay.”
“Suit yourself…”
I order ale when I finish my wine. It tastes worse than the wine so I try beer, but that tastes even worse. So I keep on trying every drink the maid can offer me.
At some point, the world turns blurry. Am I singing something? And the tables are flying? Maybe it’s a dream, who knows…
Weird EyEs… white glowing eYeS… EyEs everywhere… ThEsE fOuR belong to my mOtHeR… wait? Never mind! Let’s just keep singing!
“Felula felula
tolo niwula
Afeli adeno wu!
Amadi afelo
liseni meida wuelo
Felula felula wu!”
Why is the wind so strong in here?
I do wake up in my bed so it’s all good…
*~*~*
Interlude 51.1
Salik
“You have invited her to come again with you on the next job, yes?”
Salik kneels before the old woman, head low, this isn’t someone he can defy. “Yes, Mistress.” The only reason he invited the young girl was the order of this devil.
“Good! I believe a reward is in order, yes? Your company shall be paid an extra three thousand gold coins. I shall double the pay of each job my child joins kikiki… Your people shall follow, yes?”
“Yes mistress…” Salik can still hear the girl singing downstairs. He heard Elitar sing this songs a hundred times, but when this drunk girl sings it, the wind actually reacts. He had to calm the terrified barmaid before following this voice. He's only relieved that this devil don't seem to mind, amused even.
“Good! Any requests?” The old woman asks, cocking her head to the right.
“Mistress… Sorer. My man, lost his head… roots grown out of his head… some magic, can you?” This is risky. Sorer might be a fool, but he risked his neck for Salik in the past, it's the least Salik can do for the man and his family.
“Ahhh, yeesss I can bring him back, but let the dead lay in peace. Bringing him back shall only cause him more pain, yes? The transition from Pulpar vines back into a human can drive a man to insanity. I do not want my daughter to suspect my involvement, and that is a pointless risk I’m unwilling to take. Unless, can you pay my price?”
“Yes, Mistress!”
“Oh?” The old woman is pleasantly surprised. “Will you pay my price?”
Salik shudders. “No, Mistress.” He only paid her price once, never again!
She sneers. “Hmph. Thought so. That’ll be all. Take care of my daughter and you shall be rewarded, my little general… Disappoint me, and you shall face my wrath!”
The old woman disappears from the room like she was never there, leaving Salik kneeling on a single knee, bathing in cold sweat. He made a deal with a devil, it was a moment of weakness, of desperation. He simply wanted to live. Now, there’s no way out for him, not anymore.
*~*~*
Aria’s Enhanced hearing
Names: Aria’s enhanced hearing, enhanced hearing, amplified hearings, enchanted ears, elephant ears.
Element: wind
Sub element: sound
Level: 0
Words: uak lata wu hii fe-niuak
Translation: sound guide to my ears
Quicken: X
Patterns: 4
Gestures: touch
Offering: X
Requirement: X
Range: touch
Target: a creature within range.
Duration: 1 second after channeling had stopped
Effect: will enhance the target’s ears and hearing, allowing them to hear distant sounds or clear conversation behind walls and closed doors. Will not bypass sound barrier and silence spells. A loud noise close to the caster can deafen the caster.
Cost: 5 wind gems for initial cast, 1 wind gem per 5 seconds
Bound cost: X
Altered cost: extra 1 wind gem per 5 seconds.
*~*~*
Power level: 2nd stage apprentice.
Mana pools status:
Crown-knot: Affinity 10: formed: 1 gem replenished per five minutes.
Neck-Bridge: Affinity 6: formed: max amount of gems drained per day: 66
Abdomen-storage: Affinity 5: formed: 6 gems. Conversion ratio: 6:1
Air: Affinity 4: formed: 18 gems
Fire: Affinity 2: formed: 9 gems
Light: Affinity 3: formed: 14 gems
Water: Affinity 6: formed: 27 gems
Earth: Affinity 1: opened: 3 gems
Wood: Affinity 2:
Gravity: Affinity 9: formed: 40/41 gems
Cantrip known:
Air: Shavi’s Breeze, Shavi’s Sword. Shavi’s Hair Dryer, Aria’s Enhanced Hearing.
Fire: Nuriss’ Flame. Effrat’s Firefly, Effrat’s Fire Breath. Sorladika's Lesser Heating.
Light: Noxi’s Light, Lako’s Blinding Light.
Water: Water Evocation, Water to Ice, Ice to Water, Water to Vapor, Vapor to Water, Mayan’s Icy Spike, Ayla’s Water Jet.
Earth:
Wood:
Gravity: Lumina’s Kinetic Burst. Tukado’s Repulse. Tukado’s lesser shield. Imari’s Minor Telekinesis. Imari’s Jump. Leo’s Pull. Leo’s Grounding. Alino’s Light Body. Alino’s Heavy Body.
Spells known:
Gravity: Alino’s weightless bodyb.
Focus capability: 10 patterns
Social status: apprentice to the maven of mysteries.
Wealth: 900 gems. 1966 golden peas, 0 silver scales, 0 copper bits.
Items:
1 simple healing potions.
2 potions with unknown effects.
An enchanted belt with eight pouches, the enchantment keeps the pouches’ content fresh.
Fresh rose petals, 8g
3 soul containers size 1. (Borrowed item. Ownership: Maven of Mysteries.)
Roll of magical cloth, any carcass wrapped fully in the cloth will not rot. (Borrowed item. Ownership: Maven of Mysteries.)
A magical pouch, any carcass attached to the pouch will shrink in size. (Borrowed item. Ownership: Maven of Mysteries.)
Companions:
Languages:
Toml’a
Sinteo
Myrsha
Felul
Injuries and scars: Back, lightning scar.