Chapter 106 Recovery.

Don’t love someone for how you want them to be.

Love them for who they are.

Or don’t love them at all.

Koshavi, the Princess of Dreams.

I spend the next week suffering, tying and untying myself while controlling my hands and ropes with my mind. I hope things will go back to normal, but they do not. I can barely feel the upper part of my arm after that week, and I know it’s going to take even longer until I regain full control over my hands.

The semi meditation doesn’t eliminate my need for food or the toilet like middle meditation does. Which only makes my life harder. Zoe has to help with every basic need. Having another person wipe my butt is the most shameful thing I've ever had to deal with. And every time my spoon falls when I lose concentration over my 'Minor Telekinesis', Zoe has to clean my chin and clothes. I feel like a baby that needs to be taken care of, and I hate every single moment of it.

I could take the easy way like Balgrum wanted, and eat human meat. I still have Luard’s heart in my belt. But the easy way got me here in the first place. That will not happen.

Stubbornly, I push on, performing as many tasks as I can with my mind and the ‘Minor Telekinesis’ cantrip instead of my hands. Shame is a powerful motivation, and I improve my fine control over the ‘Minor Telekinesis’ cantrip. After a few days of being forced to use this cantrip for my basic needs, I can move even the smallest and lightest of objects in the most accurate ways.

After two weeks. I can even tie my hair up with my mind, or move single hairs at will. This is something I believed to be impossible until now.

After five more weeks of a living hell, I get control back to my arms and wrists. My palms are still being moved by Luard’s dying ghost, but I can assume my meditation pose to speed my progress. Two more days of meditation, and I finally get full control over my body. My broken hand is also back to normal by now. I’m fortunate that Luard’s erratic movements didn’t damage my hand or the healing process. I have to thank Jolla for that.

The long weeks of torment pay off. Along with the full control of my body, I fully strengthen and connect my gravity mana pool to the other nine pools, I even make a little progress in connecting my water mana pool.

I know that without Luard’s soul it’d take me much longer to do this. The benefits his soul offers are there, but I can’t get to them easily. I can't lose my humanity and my sanity.

*

{28} Tonisha (June) the 29th.

I get up from my meditation pillow. Finally free! I feel like dancing! Now if only I could heal my face, life would be perfect!

Maybe I can. Let's see...

I float my grimoire to my hands and flip pages with my mind. I find the spell and attempt to practice pattern control. After a quick attempt, I manage to maintain 18 patterns. Yes! Finally!!!

I go over to the mirror, take my mask off, and look at my mutilated face. I can finally heal this. Let’s do it!

I throw myself at practicing the spell that heals skin. Putting in a few hours of practice. I only attempt to cast the spell when my mana is topped. By evening, I manage to make it work after multiple attempts.

“Fai. Nim. Oue-rissu nirissu asuli fenu, oue nimfai rialuwe, fainim. Nimakee ni rilaluwe, akeloki si ril. Asano si aluwe nufilata.”

With an enormous mana drain, a pair of elementals show in red and blue clouds of smoke. Both of them are female this time, and both at least ten centimeters tall.

The scarlet elemental looks as if blood is constantly flowing down her voluptuous body, covering most of her features. Underneath the flowing blood I note an odd ruby crystalline one piece clothing that covers her abdomen from her breasts to her hips. Her long flowing hair is a waterfall of crimson, and her buzzing wing juts out from underneath it.

The azure elemental is a stark contrast for her friend. Her white hair is kept short, but puffs in all direction like the fluff of a cloud. Her figure isn't as provocative as her friend either, barely showing any curves. She wears a purple sleeveless dress made out of flower petals that reaches all the way down to her aquamarine ankles. Her wings flap lazily, slow enough for me to see the wing that would normally belong to a bee.

I hold my hand above my face and the pair circle my wrist. At first in in their full form, and then they both turn into specks of blue and red lights. I move my hand all over my face and chest, making sure not a single piece of damaged skin is left untouched.

Only then do I let the spell go, and the elementals disappear. I’m left drained of my entire mana and anemic due to the blood loss of all my failed attempts.

I sigh, taking a deep breath. The edges of my vision darkens, and everything seems colorless. Is it mana that makes everything more vivid and I got used to it? Or the lack of mana that puts some weird strain on my eyes?

I get up and take a look in the mirror. I can’t help but smile in satisfaction at what I see. My face and my upper chest are back to normal. I notice I missed a few small spots of chain in my shoulder, but it doesn’t look as bad. It’s something I can fix later.

I grin, get dressed, and put my mask back on. “Zoe?” I ring my bell.

“She’s not here, Your Grace.” Another young maid enters my room at my call. “She’s meditating.”

“I see. Can you call Kolag for me?”

“Right away, Your Grace.” The maid runs along.

It takes an hour, and my excitement slowly dies out. I go back to a meditative state while waiting.

Kolag finally shows on my door step. “Inara? Anything we need to discuss?” he asks after closing the door behind him.

“Take off my mask…” I say in our native tongue, still sitting in my meditative pose.

“Why?” I can tell he’s frowning behind his metallic helmet.

“Just… Do it.”

He takes off my mask carefully, and I can’t help but giggle, giddy like a little girl. “All back to normal! My ribs and hand are healed too. Also, Luard is finally out of my system!” I exclaim excitedly.

“I… you did not eat his flesh, did you?”

Really?! “Of course not. I waited to absorb him slowly. Does the bucket on your face make you blind?”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “I’m happy for you.” He tugs me into a hug.

I break the hug and arch, facing him with my hands on his metallic chest. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” He lets me go and takes a step back. “Noxi… my god… had answered my prayers… he…”

“What do you mean answered your prayers?” Again with the religious nonsense?

“His figurine? The one I’m praying to? It turned big and told me my prayers have been answered. It said I’m now his paladin, and now I can do this!” His black armor lets out a blinding golden light.

I gasp and wince at the sudden flash. I do my best to see him through the light, but I can barely see the vague shape of his armor. This is stronger than the ‘Blinding Light’ cantrip, and it’s a steady light, not a momentary flash. “I see…”

The light dies out, I can tell he’s smiling behind his helmet.

“This isn’t magic?” I can’t help but ask.

“No magic! I can feel the power from my god flowing through me. My demon is also being suppressed, I hear less of its madness right now." He moves his hands energetically with the explanation.

“That’s great news!” It’s worrying… a god putting an eye on him? Who would want that kind of attention?

“I can also tell truth from lie while I’m looking at the speaker, and you’re lying. You don’t think it’s great news,” he states solemnly. “Why?”

Fuck! And I can no longer lie or hide anything from him… just great… why would I want to hide anything from him? I shouldn’t. If anything it’s a good thing that he can tell lies, I can use him as a lie detector on the people I deal with. It’ll also keep me from crossing the line.

Damn it all to the five hells! “Too much attention from a god isn’t something I'd call a good thing… they’re powerful entities, and I’d rather if they didn’t care about you or me too much.”

He grunts. “That’s… I can't just tell if you're lying, I have to be honest too. Noxi… he put me through a trial… he said that: if you ate the flesh of Luard, I'd have to kill you. I’m… I’m really glad you didn’t eat that.”

Fuck!!! It's one thing to know that the gods can be dangerous and a whole other thing to have a god in his head telling him to kill me! DAMN IT!!! “And what exactly is stopping Noxi from demanding my death over something else tomorrow? Do I have to follow his laws now? I do not worship him.”

Kolag’s visor gives out a yellow golden glow for a brief moment. “Noxi said… yeah… he heard you. He says that you do not have to worship him. Worshiping a god is the choice of a mortal. But you do have to follow the laws of humanity and a crime has to be punished… Inara. He’s the God of Justice.”

Fuck! He’s actually listening in?! Do I not get private moments with Kolag anymore? Some fucking god taking over the man I love and he’s happy about it?! He can order him to kill me and he’ll do it?! What the fuck?! “And what makes something justified? Good and bad is a subjective matter of perspective, what I count as bad you might count as good and vice versa. Why do I have to study his laws and follow them? And if I don’t, he’ll order you to do what? Kill me? Why should I just accept that?! Why should I accept the fact that I no longer have a private moment with you? If he can listen in on our private conversation, how do we have any privacy left?”

“I… I didn’t think about it.” Kolag gives out an echoing sigh.

“I know you didn’t… tell me Kolag, if he orders you to kill me again. Would you?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Fuck! “Get out.”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

He turns and leaves me fuming in my room. I did everything I can to avoid the gods… Jerro is one thing, and he’s useful… but this?! How is Noxi any different from the hag?

Exactly… how is Noxi any different from the hag? Kolag accepted the hag… I should accept Noxi… it’s not like the hag isn’t spying on us… or can kill Kolag if she wanted to… And like Noxi she also has her own agenda…

Was I too harsh on him?

Does it matter?! He shouldn't make choices like that that endangers the both of us. That endangers me.

Was it even his choice? Is it possible to say no to a god? The hag didn't give me much of a choice...

Ugh I'm too tired for this. I should sleep on it, and maybe apologize tomorrow.

*

{28} Tonisha (June) the 30th.

“Kolag? I’m sorry. I was too harsh. Noxi isn’t so different from the hag… both can…”

“What?! How dare you compare the god of justice to that evil wench?!” Kolag storms out of my room stomping his metallic boots.

“Wait!”

“What?!” He stops at my door.

“I meant to say that both of them are powerful entities. Not that the hag is justified ok? Just let me speak?”

He crosses his hands on his chest. “Enlighten me!”

Treating me like Rushmia again… “We're both backed by powerful entities that we don’t fully agree with, and both of them can one day decide they want one of us to kill the other. You don’t like the hag or agree with her. But you’re still here despite that fact, despite knowing that she might want you dead or eavesdrop on us… I guess it’s only fair that I’ll accept Noxi despite all of the above.”

“You’re talking about the God of Light, Justice, and Protection like he’s some sort of malevolent being!” he protests.

“It’s not about good or evil for me, Kolag. I don’t see good and evil the way you do. I see threats. And if the god you worship will command you to kill me… That’s a threat to my life. Even if he’s a good and benevolent god.”

“I… I…”

The door opens, and Zoe steps into the room. “Master, General Salik is here to see you. He says it’s urgent,” she interrupts our conversation.

Kolag uses it as an excuse to stomp out of my room with a metallic creak. “We’ll talk about it later!”

I sigh. I handled it really poorly… “Let him in.”

Salik takes off his straw hat as he enters my room. “Do you have a minute, kid?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t know how to say this…” He scratches the back of his head awkwardly, “I’m down to my last… ahem, glitter potion. I know you’re dealing with your possession issue, but is there a chance you could get me another dose?”

That’s right! I need to learn how to make these… This possession stalled me for far too long…

“I’ll try and make one right now, I just need the materials. You know, the materials for glitter usually come from humans, but I can use a magical beast substitute.” I continue. I’ll not be like the hag, I won’t feed him human beings without his knowledge. Will Noxi kill me if I make a potion out of it?

Salik pales. “Blood and venom… I’d prefer if you used a magical beast substitute, but if it’s the only way… By Nuriss’ bloody jugs! Why in the five hells would you tell me that?! Did you think I needed to know this kind of detail? Gods!” He covers his mouth, gags, and swallows.

“I’m sorry…” I apologize quietly. I didn’t mean to upset him, just inform him so he’ll know what I’m giving him. Wait… he’s been drinking this for years… the hag has been using humans… of course he’s upset!

“Why are you so calm about it?!” Zoe asks me from the side, a horrified expression etched on her face.

“Because it’s a fact I’ve already accepted, I can’t change it. When I first came to the Maven of Mysteries she fed me human meat without my knowledge. The glitter, I’m going to try and make will use king Luard’s heart as the main ingredient. I’ll most likely fail the first attempt… I… I don’t think I can do it…”

Should I just throw this bloody heart away then? What am I going to do? I can’t just watch Salik die… It’s not like my first try will be successful anyway… I can use it for practice. “Tell you what. I’ll be leaving next week to visit the other cities if they’re not in total chaos by now. I’ll take you and Berthold with me, we’ll hunt some magical beasts along the way.” I get up from my meditation pillow. “Here, I’ll give you a list of the rest of the required materials. Get as much as you can. The potion is pretty difficult to make, and I’ll probably fail a couple of times. I’ll try and craft the potion on the road.” I copy the list of ingredients from my book to an empty parchment.

"You knew about this. This whole time?" Salik asks me, anger in his brown eyes. "You've been delivering me this potion for over a year!"

"No. I only found out after we took over Red Cedar City, back when I started practicing alchemy. I knew the hag uses human flesh as food, but didn't make the glitter connection until I saw the potion's recipe."

He heaves a heavy sigh. "I... I see. Maybe I should just stop taking that thing... it'd be..."

"Salik. No." I hold his wrist to stop him. "I need you. And I can make that same potion from magical beasts. Please trust me on this?"

He lets out a snicker. "It's not that I want to die, kid, but there are some lines even I can't cross... Rot that bloody whore, I know she's behind this. I bet she's laughing at me right now."

I raise an eyebrow. "The hag? Yeah, she's behind a lot of atrocities." I doubt she's laughing or cares about you that much though...

"Not your rotten hag! Snowy snakes. Ok, kid. I'll trust you not to feed me... People... Can you make this potion in time so I won't have to use my last one?"

"I... I honestly don't know, Salik. I'll do my very best, and I'll need the ingredients." I push my parchment against his chest.

Salik snatches the list with a frown on his face. “Wolf liver, how am I supposed to keep that thing fresh?”

“Put it on ice obviously,” I reply as a matter of fact. One of the very first lessons of water magic is that ice can keep flesh fresh.

His bushy eyebrows crease. “And where would I get ice? It’s the middle of the summer and it’s hotter than the Boiling Sea in here! Do you see mountains anywhere?”

The heat has been getting on everyone’s nerves… I can’t imagine how it must be for Kolag in that armor… No wonder he snaps… “Zoe will make you some ice, and if she doesn’t want to, I can. Just bring some boxes for it.” I need to learn a spell that cools the air for this unbearable heat…

The frown is gone. “Oh magic! Yeah, I’ll get going, kid, thank you.”

*

The next day, Salik and Berthold leave on a short hunting trip to get wolf’s livers and teeth along with the other list of ingredients. We only set off a day after they’re back.

*~*~*

Interlude 106.1

Salik.

“Don’t die out there…” Zoe hugs him from behind, holding tightly onto him.

“I make no such promises.” Salik sighs. The girl has been clinging to him for two months now. Resisting his urges becomes more and more difficult with each passing day. The Temple of Koshavi has been destroyed in the war, and most of the Zephyrs are dead. Salik had visited a nice tavern with girls who had taken up the role instead, but something is missing. Zoe is available, and she wants him. It’s wrong…

The girl had seen him going into these taverns, and she still clings to him. Why does she have to look so similar to Anixa? Why does fate have to be so cruel to him?

“Why can’t Berthold go alone?” she asks.

“Because these potions are for me. And I’m the one who has to work for them. The kid is doing me a favor by helping, and I can’t throw all the work on his shoulder.”

“But…”

“Let me go, Tulips.”

“No!”

“Kid…”

“Stop calling me that, I’m not a kid! I’m a grown woman, I can do whatever the snake I want! And I want you!”

“You’re…”

“No! I’m not making a mistake! I love you!”

It’s the first time Salik heard these words from her, and they only make him sigh. This isn’t going to end well, for either of them. He turns and makes her look him in the eyes. Her face is a deep shade of red, but she returns the look with her moist brown eyes. “I don’t love you, kid. Get lost!”

She lets go of him. He knows she's crying.

Curse the bloody whore of war, and curse the whore of dreams if she helps her with this snaking ploy. Salik had enough of the gods and fate, he can recognize when something isn’t right. “Let’s talk about it when I’m back from the hunt.” He’ll deal with it later, and he might not live at all in two months. Maybe it’s for the best if he dies.

Zoe tugs his shirt, stopping him from leaving. “No. You might not be back from the hunt, people die to feed some stupid hunger. And I might never get the chance to talk to you again. I love you. Yes, you saved my sister. Yes, I just needed a hug that day. But I love you. And I want to take care of you even if you don’t want to sleep with me or think I’m ugly. I don’t care, I just want to be with you! Is it so wrong that I want that?”

Salik wants to take another step forward, to ignore the crying girl behind him, but he can't. “I might die tomorrow, Tulips. I will die for sure if I don’t get my potion. Are you ok with loving someone who can die without a potion that needs some human heart in it?”

She leans her head on his back; he barely hear her voice. “Yes. We all die. We should use the time we have now instead of worrying about the future. I don't care what you have to do to survive. And hey, I’m learning magic. I’ll learn how to make the potion for you too. Master will teach me.”

Salik can’t believe he’s actually considering it. It’s the damn fate. She looks too much like Anixa… She’s not Anixa, but she’s his type. And being able to make the potion for him… Inara won’t always be there to do it. This is a chance to free himself from the Maven of Mysteries. Yet, using this kind hearted girl to do it feels bad. He does not love her, he’s no longer capable of love. Not after Anixa.

“I’ll think about it, but I have to get going now.”

*~*~*

Brigit’s skin restoration.

Names: Brigit’s skin restoration. Skin restoration. Wrinkles smoother.

Element: life

Sub element: Skin (water) – restoration (light).

Level: 1

Language: nim

Words: Fai. Nim. Oue-rissu nirissu asuli fenu, oue nimfai rialuwe, fainim. Nimakee ni/niyu/niar rilaluwe, akeloki si ril. Asano si aluwe nufilata.

Translation: Life. Water. Here’s a flect bending flower. Here’s a fish scale, blood. Caress my/his/her broken skin, smooth the edge. May the skin flourish.

Quicken: Fai. Nim. Nimakee ni/niyu/niar rilaluwe.

Patterns: 18

Gestures: holding hand above the target at close range.

Offering: Blood from the caster, 5 Belladonna/cyclamen petals, 5 fish scales.

Requirement: temperature above 15c and below 30c.

Range: near touch.

Target: damaged skin tissue.

Duration: channel spell

Effect: The spell will heal damaged skin tissue at a slow rate. The spell will fully restore the damaged skin from any natural damage such as: fire burns, frost bites, acid burns, cuts, flaying (can grow new skin), wrinkles, etc. The spell cannot dispel skin related curses, nor heal skin that still has toxins embedded in it. In case of contaminated skin it is advised to cut out the damaged tissue and regrow new skin using this spell.

Cost: 50 light gems, 30 water gems for initial cast. 5 light gems and 3 water gems per second to maintain.

Bound cost: 30 light gems, 20 water gems.

Altered cost: 10 light gem, 5 water gem. Per pattern.

*~*~*

Power level: 3rd stage apprentice.

Mana pools status:

Crown-knot: Affinity 10: connected: 1 gem replenished per minute.

Neck-Bridge: Affinity 6: formed: max amount of gems drained per day: 79

Abdomen-storage: Affinity 5: formed: 16 gems. Conversion ratio: 6:1

Air: Affinity 4: formed: 26 gems

Fire: Affinity 2: formed: 13 gems

Light: Affinity 3: formed: 19/20 gems

Water: Affinity 6: formed: 39 gems

Earth: Affinity 1: formed: 6 gems

Wood: Affinity 2: formed: 13 gems

Gravity: Affinity 9: connected: 91/95 gems

Cantrip known:

Air: Shavi’s Breeze, Shavi’s Sword. Shavi’s Hair Dryer, Aria’s Enhanced Hearing. Aria’s Sonic Scream.

Fire: Nuriss’ Flame. Effrat’s Firefly, Effrat’s Fire Breath. Sorladika's Lesser Heating. Nuriss’ Ignite. Oniga's Soap Creation.

Light: Noxi’s Light. Lako’s Blinding Light. Rika’s energy hand.

Water: Water Evocation, Water to Ice, Ice to Water, Water to Vapor, Vapor to Water, Mayan’s Icy Spike, Ayla’s Water Jet. Ayla’s instant freeze. Ayla's Flowing Shield. Ayla’s Freezing Vapors.

Earth: Alice’s Oil Summoning, Reiko’s Acid Spray. Alf's Copper Bolt

Wood: Arigor’s Lesser Vines. Kolosu’s Vegetable Summoning.

Gravity: Lumina’s Kinetic Burst. Tukado’s Repulse. Tukado’s Lesser Shield II. Imari’s Minor Telekinesis. Imari’s Jump. Leo’s Pull. Leo’s Grounding. Alino’s Light Body. Alino’s Heavy Body. Alino's Orbiter.

Transmutation: Oniga's Laundry.

Spells known:

Light: Rika's Electric Channelb1

Gravity: Alino’s Weightless Bodyb1x2. Imari’s Lesser Flightb2.

Life: Brigit’s Lesser Cure Poison. Brigit’s Skin Restoration.

Focus capability: 18 patterns.

Social status: The Queen of Red Cedar City. Shaman of the Twin Moon Tribe. Inara, Daughter of Mysteries. Apprentice to the Maven of Mysteries. Sorceress.

Personal Wealth: 1465 Magic Gems. 1420 Golden Peas, 45 Silver Scales, 32 Copper Bits.

Personal Items:

Magical necklace. Contains 100 gems of general mana, can be drained like a mana pool. It’ll recharge by itself at the rate of five gems an hour.

1 potion of lightning body.

1 potion of mana, medium grade.

5 potions of Lesser Healing.

5 potions of Pain Tolerance.

An enchanted belt with eight pouches, the enchantment keeps the pouches’ content fresh. Each pouch may contain 10g of petals or six potion flasks.

Fresh rose petals, 6g

Fresh lavender petals, 10g

King Luard's fresh heart.

6 empty soul bottles 4 Luard's soul shards. Glass with a diamond stopper, put in scaled leather wrapping.

The Great White Egret grimoire. Dedicated by the Maven of mysteries to Inara. 27/100

Present Companions:

Salik

Kolag of House Befar

Sharlafyn Nettledew

Jerro

Berthold

Loyal

Ryon

Zoe

Languages:

Toml’a Fluent

Sinteo Fluent

Myrsha 8/10

Felul 1/10

Nim 1/10

A'arkalu 1/10

Injuries and scars:

Curses:

-

Kingdom’s treasury: 3836 gold coins. 123 magical gems.

Kingdom’s citizen: 3,881 humans, 1,836 human children. Twin Moon Tribe: 1,158 orcs. 293 orc children. 529 sheep-slaves.

Kingdom's army: 1,1158 Orc Warriors. 324 Footmen. 49 Peacekeeper Knights.

Notables at Court:

Tasiya Keyholder.

Jolla SilverQuill.

Talbot Bookkeeper.

Marasi Chef extraordinaire (spymaster.)

Old Gardner Tiom.

Balgrum Orc Chieftain.