Chapter 126 The Wrong Choice.
People reveal who they truly are on their worst day.
No.
People reveal who they truly are on their best day.
Bad days drive people to terrible acts.
But it’s the good days that show their true character.
Everyone make mistakes, what you do after your mistakes is what matters.
Koshavi, the Princess of Dreams.
I look into Jerro's eyes, if I’m going to bring his death it’s the least I can do. “Jerro, what happens if I ask them to release the slaves they took?” I ask in a low voice.
“The warlord will back you up. Another insignificant orc will declare that the warlord is a weak chief and challenge him to a duel. The warlord will lose and die, you get angry and kill the other orc… The orc tribe turn against you and we have to fight them all. I die, my soulmate dies. You and the paladin fight the orcs, you might die in the fight. You two kill three hundred orcs before they retreat in defeat and shame. I can’t see if the paladin dies or not because he’s a chosen of a god now. I can’t see chosen ones actions. The orcs burn the city and leave their slaves behind… Please Queen, don’t do this! I beg of you!”
“What happens if I don’t kill the other orc?”
“The orcs will still follow you, but the new chieftess won’t release the slaves. The warlord dies for nothing. You do not understand me, Queen," Jerro states. "You can enslave them. They can be your slaves, not the orcs'."
Wait... "Balgrum. Don't I get a third of the tribe's spoils?"
"You do, Shaman." Balgrum nods at my side.
I cross my hands. "Then give me my third, and let them go back to the city. Also your own third should follow, you gave me your word."
"I did, Shaman." Balgrum gives a weary glance to Gorlor, and the elderly orc sneers. "What about the third that belongs to the wolfes?"
I lean my chin on my palm, weighing down my options. This solves two thirds of the problem already. Now... It'd be much easier to let the orcs keep their third and turn a blind eye... It's a good compromise and it's in line with orcish culture too... yet... I'm losing my morality. Is it better to sacrifice three of my friends’ lives while also risking the life of the man I love and my own? I saw how far this got me with Luard's soul... Too many died... yet, now I'm offering the lives of hundreds for enslavement... No! I won't repeat Lezere, I won't let a single person I care about die, and to hell with the innocents! They're nothing but snaking useless pawns!
“What will it be shaman?” Balgrum asks in a low growl, “I’ll back you up if you want your people released…”
Even if you know it’ll kill you… Admirable… You’ve more than earned your place in my heart Balgrum… I only wish Lezere was here too…
I don’t have enough time to think this through. I need to decide, or the orcs will lose their patience… These people are lost… it’s according to their own religion that I can enslave them after all… The perfect pawns indeed...
My thoughts feels empty in my head, and my reply to Balgrum is hollow as my heart. I'll pick all the young girls and children, they shouldn't go through this. I'll leave the old people for the orcs... “No. we’ll let your wolves keep the third of the sheep that they’ve obtained, I'll choose my third to take…”
“No!” Kolag’s response is within my expectation. “You told me to stop you from making a heartless mistake, and this is a mistake!”
I get up, angrily, reverting to Toml'a our shared native tongue. "I'm doing what I can, Kolag. It's your fault they're in this situation to begin with. Jerro and I just released two thirds of them with a couple of words. You have no right to demand anything of me!"
He switches to Toml'a as well. "Demand?! I'm not demanding anything." He steps up to me and gestures behind him. “Look at all these people. Look at them! Families. Children. You’re dooming a third of them to a life of slavery and countless abuses! You know how those orcs treat them. You know how that feels like!”
I heave a sigh. “I know that. But what about Jerro? What about Sharla and Balgrum? Why should I let them die for people I don’t even know?! People who blindly worship me because some god told them to? Fuck! These people can’t think for themselves nor help themselves, you've seen how they are! Give me one good reason why I should insist here!"
He stomps, taking a step forward. “Because it’s the right thing to do!”
I cross my hands, leaning forward. The elevated stage of Balgrum and I giving me the height advantage. “According to who? Noxi?! I don’t follow your god. I can finally reach my goals like this. Once I advance to a mage, I can finally go home and see my brother again. I’m done caring about these people! They obviously don’t care about me, and they’d worship any other mage the same way they worship me. That includes someone like Luard for fuck's sake! They aren’t loyal. They don’t love me as a queen. They love me as a mage and if I lose to another mage they'll just follow him or her. They’re just fanatics who follow they're damned god's creed.”
I can see some of the slaves below averting their gaze as desperation takes over them. I guess some of them do speak Toml’a, huh? I know about the talks in the tavern. Many of them complained about me, hated my takeover. Despite the fact that I got rid of a tyrant and arranged them all with jobs and almost ended poverty before the war began. The war didn’t exactly make me very popular either. The orcs are twisted, sure, but at least they’re fiercely loyal and they love me. I feel much more comfortable around them… They’re simple.
Kolag takes a deep breath, his voice turning calmer. “You know this is wrong. You know this is a mistake. Don’t do this!”
“So you want me to let Jerro and Sharla die?!”
He shakes his head slowly. “No, we’ll do our best, but moving according to Jerro’s predictions is a mistake. You know it is.”
“You don’t get to lecture me about mistakes. You did wonderful so far!” I flinch, my hurtful sarcasm hurts me just as much as it seems to have hurt him.
“Inara… please?” The pain is apparent in his muffled voice.
I take a deep breath, regretting my words and my loss of temper. I’m tired of caring about people I don’t know… I’m tired of doing the right thing all the time… I’m tired of having the people I care about die for the ‘right thing’, I’m just tired… I want power, I don’t want to be some savior or a heroine from a bard's tale… I want to go home as a mage… I want to make sure my brother is safe… I want to find my sister… I hope to find my real mother one day… I don’t want to be stuck here forever on the gray islands trying to govern a group of people who treat me like some twisted idol for their religion and hate me behind my back…
“The last time someone did not listen to Jerro's prediction Lezere died. I will not have anyone I care about die! Not you. Not Jerro. Not Sharla. No one will die! I’m tired of having people I care about die on me. No, this is final. I’m doing the best with what I have. Two third of the people will go back to their lives in the city and they are my claimed sheep! There'll be no more raiding on my people, Balgrum.”
"Grrrr agreed." The orc nods.
Kolag reaches for the claymore on his back. The sword shakes in his grip, his whole body is shaking. A faint glow comes out of his armor and blade. “No, you’re excusing evil, you’re convincing yourself that it’s good, I can’t let you do this… I’d rather if you died pure than have you commit such an atrocity.”
I cross my hands and sit back in my chair, refusing to acknowledge Kolag as a threat. “So now you’ll kill me because I disagree with your world view of good and bad? Are you a bully Kolag? How did that work out for you so far? You killed an orc for a disagreement about good and bad and look at where we are now.”
He shakes his head and puts a hand on the side of his helmet, as if he’s attempting to cover his ear. He shakes his head again in refusal before speaking. “Yeah. I can see where we are, and I see you losing your way… I may have made a mistake, but you’re making one right now. Please! Tell the orcs to release all of the prisoners, not just two thirds.”
“And sacrifice you and the others for the ‘right thing’? Never!”
The eye slit of his helmet give out a bright golden glow. “Then defend yourself,” his voice echoes unnaturally, way stronger than the usual echo of his helmet.
“It’s Noxi telling you to kill me isn’t it? I told you this day will come. I told you Noxi will do this! I won’t defend myself from you. You’re the man I love, why should I defend myself from you. Kill me if you wish. How does Noxi feel about harming a woman who won’t defend herself?” I put a leg over leg pretending to be relaxed, my muscles tensing. Try to strike and I’m blasting you away…
He looks at me with glowing golden eyes. I hear his heavy echoing breath behind the metallic visor. The tip of his claymore touches the ground and his hand sags. He can’t do it.
“Thought so!” I declare victorious. A hollow victory.
“May his light descend!” Kolag calls out, and a flash of bright light comes out of his armor.
I push the ground with my leg. I tilt the chair backward and fall on my back, blinded by the bright light. I twist and roll away, the claymore swing that misses me hacks my chair in two. He’s fucking serious!
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“Rod’ena!”
“Nimuwal!”
*Slash* A shining claymore from the bard’s tales splits the water veil in two. I add amplifying patterns, increasing the volume of water. I conjure more and more water as I retreat backward. The bubble of water thickens and a watery pond forms on the ground. Kolag advances, swinging his sword, splitting my water again and again.
“Rial aluwe ri.”
Another hack splits the thin icy wall as he takes another step forward, stepping on my ice. One more swing and he’ll reach me. But the icy wall is only a distraction.
Got you! “Kushgari yefa!”
*Clang!*
The metallic copper bolt doesn’t penetrate the adamantine armor, but penetrating the armor isn’t my aim. The fast flying projectile makes him stumble on the slippery ice.
“Kushgari yefa!”
*Cling!*
Another fast projectile hits the dark metal of his chest plate and he loses his balance.
*Crack!*
Kolag falls backward, laying down amidst shards of ice like a turtle on his back.
“Myrsha, nia latsa lah.”
“What now? I refuse to fight you and you can’t reach me! Are you going to take off that helmet too? How far are you willing to go for your morals? You clearly don’t care about my life… Your god is just more important to you than me.” This hurts me more than anything, he’ll do anything for his god, but not for me. He’s willing to go against his love for me for the sake of a god’s principles. He’s willing to kill me for his god! I can’t believe I fell for this guy!
“I won’t watch you lose your purity if I can do something about it. I won’t watch you enslaving thousands for power!” He stumbles to his feet “I’m doing this because I care about you! Noxi said he’ll protect your soul.”
“Did I ask for Noxi to take my soul and protect it? Remember what happens to souls? What's to say he simply won't consume my soul?! Does trying to kill me mean caring about me now?!” What a twisted way of looking at it… He’s telling himself he’s doing it out of love… Ugh…
He looks up to me from the ground, his face covered by the damned metal helmet. “Your soul will be pure, you’ll not be responsible for the enslavements of hundreds, women and children included. You won’t lose your heart.”
“Do you think I’ve lost my heart? That I don’t care?! I offered a gold coin to the gang leaders in Apricot City for every person they save! I saved two thirds of these people, as many as I could without further bloodshed. What you want will cause another war! And how many lives will be lost in such a war? Did you stop and think about that? And what I care about is your life. Jerro's and Sharla's lives are mo…”
*Whooosh*
Kolag throws his sword at me mid-sentence.
A blurry comet of golden light, faster than the eye can track.
I dodge, but due to the surprise attack, I do not react fast enough. An involuntary scream escapes my lips as the glowing claymore pierces the side of my abdomen, tearing through my new armor as if it’s thin paper. The world turns upside down, and I find myself laying on my back with the claymore pinning me to the ground.
The human slaves cheer, only to be whipped by their orcs masters. So many people wanting me dead… Kolag is the reason they were enslaved to begin with… But they aren’t even blaming him… This is unfair… the world is so unfair… Kolag is unfair… He attacked while I was in the middle of talking to him… Ha! Like fairness matter in battles… or in this damned world… So much for Jerro’s prediction… couldn’t he see this coming? So much for the easy way out of this stupid assignment by the hag… So much for being a ranked mage and going home… I’m going to die here… And the person who’ll kill me is the man I love…
No! I don’t want to die!
I struggle. The searing pain at the left side of my abdomen brings tears to my eyes, my heart pounds loudly in my ears. I attempt to pull the heavy weapon out, but it’s too heavy for me, I don’t have enough strength in my arms. A healing potion! Won’t help with the steel in my stomach…
Kolag's helmet fills my vision, he crouches near me and caresses my cheek. “I love you, but I can’t let you do this…”
“I don’t want to die.” I admit, scared.
“I know…” he unsheathes a dagger with his other hand.
“I just don’t want my friends to die! Can’t you see it?”
“I know…” He presses the dagger against my throat.
“Please don’t…” I beg for my life.
“I have to…” the echoing voice hardens itself, preparing for what he’s about to do. Light shines from the visor of his armor.
“No, you don’t… It’s your choice!”
“He’s my god Inara. He speaks to me… He says I have to kill you. What choice do I have?”
“Does your god make you happy? Is he worth following?”
“I can’t betray my god! You had a choice, and you chose wrong! Why did you choose wrong Inara?! Why?!” he blames me angrily.
I gasp for air, the pain is unbearable. “I couldn’t see Jerro and Sharla die, or Balgrum, it’d be like Lezere all over again… I didn’t want you to die… I chose to keep the people I love safe. And you… You’re choosing to kill the people you love, for people and a god you don’t even know…” I attack the chinks in his armor, I know how much he hates himself for the mistakes he commits, and that is my only chance to live. "Will you able to sleep at night knowing you ended my life? Do you always make the right choice Kolag?"
“But now I do make the right choice! Now my god is telling me what the right choice is!”
The world dims, the strength leave my arms, and they rest in a pool of my blood. My tears flow down my temples, I’m dying… I’m dying! I can’t die! I have to go home! “Ughh… I see… Your god told you to kill the orc… To start a war… ugh… Knowing this will happen... Your god created this mess… Your god put us in this impossible situation… Your god knows that once you kill me, you’ll truly be his and his alone… ughhh… you’ll be his slave… For a god of truth he’s so manipulative…” Even speaking is painful right now. “There’s a potion in my belt… Kolag? Please? I don’t want to die…”
“It’s ok… Rest, Inara…” I can feel him steeling his resolve from how his arm moves.
“No!”
“Rest…”
“I don’t want to!” I fight to stay awake. To keep my eyes open. To look into his visor. If he’s going to kill me, I’ll haunt him for the rest of his life, I don’t want to die!
*~*~*
Interlude 126.1
Kolag
“Kill her! She’s an abomination!”
Kolag hears Noxi's loud voice in his head, his god is too eager for Inara’s death.
“Kill her and you’ll be free of your demon for good! Bring justice to the people she wanted to enslave, bring light into the world. If she dies now, I’ll be able to protect her soul!”
“Kill her! She’s soOo fUll of Manaaaaaa goOood maaAanaaaaa… Taste! LeT mE taSte!” The demon screams in his head.
Kolag looks at the woman he loves, her gray eyes peering stubbornly into his. For a moment he can’t even recognize her, then he sees her for who she is. Even now she does not feel any remorse for her choices. “Noxi says that if I kill you, I’ll be free from the demon.”
She moans in pain and blinks rapidly. “Ugh… If Noxi can free you from the demon… Why hasn't he done so already? Ugh… If he loves you… If he’s… If he’s such a good… And benevolent god… Why wait for you to kill me before chasing your demon away? Why condition… And blackmail you with a demon?”
How can she have such conviction? How can she doubt a god? How can she suspect the god of truth of deceit?! Truly…
Inara’s eyes lose their focus, Kolag knows she’s going to die from blood loss even if he won’t slit her throat. He’s going to stay with her…
“Drain her MAnnAAAA! HER SOUL!!! Quick! Before it’s gone!” The demon screams.
“You’ve done well my son!” Noxi declares calmly. “A twisted one dies so hundreds can be free of enslavement. You’ve brought justice to the world!”
*~*~*
Power level: 3rd stage apprentice.
Mana pools status:
Crown-knot: Affinity 10: connected: 1 gem replenished per minute.
Neck-Bridge: Affinity 6: formed: max amount of gems drained per day: 85
Abdomen-storage: Affinity 5: formed: 21 neutral gems. Conversion ratio: elemental : neutral 6:1, neutral : elemental 1:1
Air: Affinity 4: formed: 30 gems
Fire: Affinity 2: formed: 15 gems
Light: Affinity 3: formed: 22/23 gems
Water: Affinity 6: connected: 69 gems
Earth: Affinity 1: formed: 7 gems
Wood: Affinity 2: formed: 15 gems
Gravity: Affinity 9: connected: 93/104 gems
Cantrip known:
Air: Shavi’s Breeze, Shavi’s Sword. Shavi’s Hair Dryer, Aria’s Enhanced Hearing. Aria’s Sonic Scream. Aria's Increased Voice.
Fire: Nuriss’ Flame. Effrat’s Firefly, Effrat’s Fire Breath. Sorladika's Lesser Heating. Nuriss’ Ignite. Oniga's Soap Creation.
Light: Noxi’s Light. Lako’s Blinding Light. Rika’s energy hand.
Water: Water Evocation, Water to Ice, Ice to Water, Water to Vapor, Vapor to Water, Mayan’s Icy Spike, Ayla’s Water Jet. Ayla’s instant freeze. Ayla's Flowing Shield. Ayla’s Freezing Vapors. Hot Water Conjuration. Boiling Waterjet.
Earth: Alice’s Oil Summoning, Reiko’s Acid Spray. Alf's Copper Bolt
Wood: Arigor’s Lesser Vines. Kolosu’s Vegetable Summoning.
Gravity: Lumina’s Kinetic Burstm. Tukado’s Repulse. Tukado’s Lesser Shield IIa. Imari’s Minor Telekinesism. Imari’s Jump. Leo’s Pull. Leo’s Grounding. Alino’s Light Body. Alino’s Heavy Body. Alino's Orbiter.
Transmutation: Oniga's Laundry.
Spells known:
Light: Rika's Electric Channelb1
Gravity: Alino’s Weightless Bodyb1x2. Tukado's Pushb1x3. Tukado’s defense IIIb1x4. Imari’s Lesser Flightb2.
Life: Brigit’s Lesser Cure Poison. Brigit’s Skin Restoration.
Focus capability: 19 patterns.
Social status: The Queen of Red Cedar City. Shaman of the Twin Moon Tribe. Inara, Daughter of Mysteries. Apprentice to the Maven of Mysteries. Sorceress.
Personal Wealth: 1465 Magic Gems. 1420 Golden Peas, 45 Silver Scales, 32 Copper Bits.
Personal Items:
Magical necklace. Contains 100 gems of general mana, can be drained like a mana pool. It’ll recharge by itself at the rate of five gems an hour.
1 potion of lightning body.
1 potion of mana, medium grade.
2 potions of Lesser Healing.
2 potions of Pain Tolerance.
An enchanted belt with eight pouches, the enchantment keeps the pouches’ content fresh. Each pouch may contain 10g of petals or six potion flasks.
45g Rose petals.
20g Lavender petals.
10 empty soul bottles. Glass with a diamond stopper, put in scaled leather wrapping.
The Great White Egret grimoire. Dedicated by the Maven of mysteries to Inara. 30/100. Locked.
Present Companions:
Sharlafyn Nettledew
Jerro
Kolag???
Languages:
Toml’a
Sinteo
Myrsha
Felul
Nim
A'arkalu
Injuries and scars: Pierced abdomen, blood loss.
Curses: unknown extracted parasite, possibly bloodline related.
-
Kingdom’s treasury: 3836 gold coins. 123 magical gems.
Kingdom’s citizen: Red Cedar City: 3,881 humans, 1,836 human children.???
Apricot City: approximate 800+ humans.
Twin Moon Tribe: 1,138 orcs. 293 orc children. 529 sheep-slaves.
Kingdom's army: 1,136 Orc Warriors. 40 foot man 284 Footmen ???. 49 Peacekeeper Knights ???. 500 Blood Spears.
Notables at Court:
Tasiya Keyholder.
Jolla SilverQuill.
Talbot Bookkeeper.
Old Gardner Tiom.
Balgrum Orc Chieftain.