Chapter 23 Survival of the Fittest.

Every life matters.

Every life has thoughts and feelings.

Every life has hopes and dreams.

Every life comes to an end, and forms a new beginning.

Brigit, the Keeper of Life.

A crossbow bolt hits the mage's chest and bounces off with a dull thud, it's as if he’s wearing an armor under his shirt. Now I see the rage in the mage’s eyes. “Can't read the atmosphere can ya? I can stand if it's coming from a beautiful girl, not from you!” I can hear Purson's painful cry from behind.

I can’t see the battle, only hear it.

“Ti-a’ark!” Lezere shouts.

“Everyone! Run!” Kolag echoes in a panic. I don’t know if the metallic thud and creaks means he somehow hit the mage or the mage neutralized him somehow.

Nalfit’s high soprano rises up in a chant. "Alerendial! Folo fotyr modo!" I see a few sparks setting the wheat alight at the edge of my vision, these flames are blue.

"Woah! dangerous!" I can hear the mockery in the mage’s voice along with Nalfit's choked scream.

The blue flames crackle and die. "RUN!" Kolag bellows. Flesh hits metal, metal clings, and with that, silence. It seems like the battle has ended. The mage steps in front of me and tears off another crossbow bolt from his shoulder. He drinks a small potion and I see the wound closing slowly. He can get hurt! We can kill him… Yeah, first I need to get this petrification reversed somehow... I'm not dying here! I won't! I won't die!

“You don't have to chase the ones that escaped, carry these ones to my lab!” The mage orders the bandits. “Be careful with the women, if even one of their hairs breaks, I'll break you!”

Good… I'm not dying… why does he want us alive? I hope he's only planning to toy with us…

A pair of bandits lift me by my shoulders and feet. For a long while, I can only see the ground and their moving legs. I can hear distant crying when we enter the village, the ground turns softer, and the lighting change. Then the pair of bandits make my immobile body stand.

It’s a large room with wooden walls and a thatch ceiling. I can see three women, all naked and gagged, chained by their hands up to one of the wooden beams. Two of them are unconscious, but one holds hatred in her eyes. Good… he's just toying with us. Gives us all time to come up with something... and it means he'll soon undo this petrification… I’d rather be his toy than die… nothing new there… I'll take my time, learn him and I'll find a way to escape or kill him… I must!!!

Aside from the women, multiple books are spread around the bed, floor, and table. The table has some weird equipment I don’t recognize, and there’s also a large statue of a naked woman with a snake coiled around her neck and chest. She looks real enough to have been petrified along with the snake. I wonder who she was. Doesn't matter...

It’s hard to look around. I have to focus on things in the corner of my eyes without being able to move my eyes, looking too much to the left or right gives me a headache. My right wrist still feels like it’s on fire after the snake's bite, and I can’t feel my heartbeat with adrenaline, nor can I breathe. But I am still alive and aware somehow.

The bandits move in Nalfit's statue and make it stand right next to me. Then a small group of bandits carries Kolag’s armored body inside, dropping him in a heap of metal in the corner out of my view. There’s no sign of Oshi, Purson, or Lezere. I hope Lezere or Purson were the ones that escaped and not Oshi. But odds are, Oshi is the one who managed to escape. She wouldn't care about us, only herself.

The lanky mage enters the room, patting the head of the snake on his shoulder. He looks at me and Nalfit as if unsure who he wants to start with. He takes off my robes slowly, and observes my frozen stone body, then moves to Nalfit.

A few moments later she’s no longer a stone statue. He binds her hands in iron, and busies himself with her. I have to watch, frozen, unable to move as this woman I began to care for gets tortured right in front of me. I’m not watching this!

I do my best to avert my eyes, to focus on the ceiling. It gives me a dizzying headache, but a headache is better than watching Nalfit going through that. Yet, it doesn’t seem like it affects her much. Even while being pinned down under him she wouldn’t stop talking. Insulting his size, guesses about the origins of his family, and doubting his masculinity, all in an annoying high soprano voice.

Shut up Nalfit! You’re only making it worse! Just be apathetic about it!

Of course, I can’t talk to her, I can’t talk at all. And indeed, at some point the monster just silences her somehow.

I can't watch this! Am I really going to end like this again?! It's already been five years... For how long will this madness last? What will happen when he gets tired of me?! I'll end up like one of those women? Chained up to a wooden beam? And what then? A statue in his collection?! Eternally frozen looking at this monster's deeds?! I have to try! I have to fight! I can't give up!

What am I supposed to do? I am a statue...

ANYTHING! DO SOMETHING!

I attempt to move my mana and form patterns with it. It’s slow, the response is weak. It feels as if both my mana pools and my veins are too stiff, too thin. But the mana still moves to my command.

I form the first three patterns for ‘kinetic burst’ in my hand and add two more patterns for a silent cast. I do not release the spell with the last pattern. I repeat the same five patterns, again and again, channeling my mana into it and preparing a compressed ball of ‘kinetic burst’. It’s slow, and it takes me at least ten minutes to form. I collect the mana from within my body and compress it. I form the patterns again, repeating it like a trance, like meditation. The slow movement of the mana makes it easier to control, and I find out I can compress a large amount without much difficulty.

After half an hour of compressing, I reach my limit. I can no longer compress it. Now I have to keep the ball in my wrist and hope I can release it at the right time. I can feel this spell, I know how it works on an intuitive level. I have to repeat two of the patterns over and over with the compressed mana, just to keep it going. I'm going to lose my hand…

Worth it if it'll kill that monster! I'll find ways to live without a hand… No, they can probably heal it back at the tower, they healed Oshi after I blew her hands off, it can be healed… I hope it's not too expensive. If it’s a thousand gems for a single finger, I’m sure it’s expensive… I have less than a thousand gems… there's no way I'm getting my hand back. I’ll have to work hard to get my hand back, but it should be possible…

The man finishes with Nalfit, unlike before when she wouldn’t stop talking, she seems exhausted, drained. He drags her to the wooden beam and ties her up with the other three. I ready my spell, I know he'll come for me next, but he does not. He puts on a pair of pants and leaves the room, stretching. He leaves me alone with a ball of violent mana spinning in my pained wrist.

Waiting takes hours. I stand there naked, with my hand raised forward, repeating the pair of patterns over and over in my compressed ball. I’m unable to move, unable to turn my head and look around, not even capable of moving my eyes. It’s a wonder I can still see.

How am I able to see? The stone should block the light. It doesn’t feel like an outer shell of stone, it feels as if my skin is the stone, and my eyes feel like stones too. It makes no sense for me to see anything, but I can see and feel somehow.

Time keeps crawling, and darkness comes. I have to focus just to maintain my ball of mana. Existence becomes harder and harder. Not to let it go, not to blow up my hand, not to fall asleep.

Did he notice what I am doing and is simply waiting for my hand to blow up, or is the stone masking it? Panic wells in my chest, and the ball of mana in my wrist nearly explode. Focus! Focus. Focus... I should stop scaring myself. I have to try. I won’t forgive myself if I didn't.

The mage comes back after a few hours or minutes, it's impossible to tell. Instead of going to me, he takes two women from the wooden beam and throws them onto his large bed having his twisted fun with them. He then falls asleep without chaining them up.

I thought they'd run away, I thought they'd use this opportunity. But instead, the two end up eating his leftovers. From the way they eat they're starving. I'm all too familiar with that...

When they’re done eating they hug each other with a muffled cry, whispering to one another. They have no intention to run, they probably don’t think they could get away with it. Idiots! Run! Get the hell away from here! Free the others! He's asleep!

I have to concentrate on my ball of mana again, I almost lose it and blow my hand to smithereens. Focus!!! Focus! Focus. Focus…

“Hey girls?” Nalfit whispers loudly. “Mind freeing me?! The key is right over there! I can kill him for you!” Bless this woman…

The two women huddle and eye her fearfully, then eye the sleeping mage. One of them gets up and gingerly put her hands on the keys. She and her friend scream as the spotted snake bites her ankle. She turns into a stone statue with the key chain in her hands.

{27} Lokamesh (May) the 20th

Morning, the monster wakes up late. He smashes the statue of the petrified woman and calls her friend to his bed. He touches her for a while then chains her back to the wooden beam, looking at me fondly. Finally! I'll get to blow him up or die… Due to my excitement, I almost lose control of my mana ball again.

He goes to his desk and fixes the items on it, getting his books in order. Then gets in his bed with a book in hand. OH COME ON!!!! Oh no, focus! Don't lose it! Focus! I have to devote my entire being to holding my mana from exploding.

The man takes his sweet time reading, eating, then reading, then eating again.

It’s late noon when he finally approaches me. He circles me slowly, running his hand over my stone skin. He then stands left of my hand looking me in the eyes with a large perverse grin on his face.

He reaches for an iron collar. His body isn’t touching my palm, but the proximity of his ribs is close enough to the side of my wrist.

It's now or never! Before he touches that iron! Myrsha ritsa! I let go of the activation pattern, casting and pushing the spell to blow up, without the need to protect my hand I can create a much bigger effect.

If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

My hand feels like someone is tearing it apart from the inside out. The blast creates a giant gory cavity in the mage’s side. For a second I catch a glimpse of his shattered organs perturbing out of his broken ribcage, but the blast also knocks me backward. I tilt over and fall on my back. There’s a sharp painful line going from my hip to my nape, and everything in sight turns blurry.

When my vision clears again I am staring at the thatch ceiling from a weird angle. I can hear the cries of agony from the twisted mage. Damnit! I didn't kill him! Damnit! Damnit! I blew up half of his chest! Is it still not enough?! Damnit!!!

Kolag roars, a mad roar, like an angry bear. I can hear metal hitting flesh. His roar turns into a high pitched scream, almost a feminine one. A gigantic eyed tentacle holding the torn head of one of the chained women passes above my head, parts of my vision get blocked by black dots.

“̸͙̳̠̞̣͓̪̏́̒̎̈̈́̋͘̕͘ͅG̵̨̨̘̗̪̦̳͎̥̦̠͎̖͋a̷͖̠̺̫̺̫͉͖̙̙̹̜̭̬̗̎͑͑͆̔̄͊̔̚̚͝’̴̡̬͙̲̼̣̮͎̆̓̈́̈́̒͋̏͂̂̈̔͂͠͝Ȁ̵̺̪̦̝̓̒͑̐͋̍̐̓̆̉͝ư̵͈̖̏́̉̌͑̌̑̎̽Ş̵̡͙̱̝͍̝̖̱̗͈͊̆̽͝h̶̻̏̏͛̇̌̇̓́̚͠K̶̨͍͓̠̮̫̝͍̙̬̘̣̓a̶̡̧̡̪̖̞̹̞͋͂͂́̿̚͝ͅ ̵̩̮̪͎͈͚̹̯͕̠̻̾̾̈́̀͠K̵̢̳̳͖͙͖͎̭̺̗̪͙̫͔͘a̷̗̭̳͒̇̈̀͑͗S̵͈͉̫̘͚̝͖̒̀̍̄̌͐̐͘̕̚h̵̰̥̟̝̱̲̪̼̩̟̦̻͗͐̑͊̊̽͝À̷̧͖̝̦̝̩͔̳̺̮̪̮̈́͗́̏́͌̌̈͐͆̉̆̌̓ͅḻ̵̨̻̗̱͔͑̃͗̈́̍͒͘͜ͅÄ̷̧̧̡̪͖̖̭̮̰̗͎́̑̿͛̿͒s̵̟͔͓̺̈́͆̌̔͘͜͝F̸̙̌̈́͐̂͑̆̓͂͘̚͝i̵̧̧̺͍̲̲̲̟̰̝͖̓̈͊̃͊͛̅͜ ̶̭̻̥͔̫̫̫̠͔̗͆͆̈́̈́̾̽̊͆̀̽̌̑̈̈͝m̴̡̗̬̫̯̯̟͌̔̅̀ͅA̸̘͔̫̬̰͕̳͔͖̩̤̥͂̊̇̏͛̓́̇̾͋̒͐̏̕͘ͅr̵̛͎̹͕̗͇̰̮͉͈͙̯͙̎̂͆̅̅̎͜ͅͅ ̸̤͙̤̝̬̥͑̽̆̇͝M̷̢̗̳̠̳͎̣͍̻̉̄̏̔̈́̉̚ā̸͕͐Ŗ̶̱͓̯̞̹̳̦̯̟̪̻͗̆̀̊!̷͍͐̒͂̋̍͛̚̕͠͝”̶̡̝̤̜͚̖̝͓̣̫̣̒̿̐͑̒̐̚͝͠

Kolag shouts in an horrific language I've never heard before, every word echoes with wrongness. His voice change pitches from a deep growling roar to a high pitched scream and back to a deep roar. Then has the two at the same time, not as a chorus, but a single voice.

Then follows the screams. The women tied up are screaming, men outside are screaming, the whole village is screaming. It lasts for an eternity, an eternity of pain in my arm and back. I just want to sleep, to pass out, to not feel this pain. I am done, I'm safe, that monster is dead… No! Pass out?! As a stone statue?! I can't! I have no idea what will happen! I don't want to die! Stay awake! I have to stay awake!

What the hell is going on?! Why is everyone screaming? What happened to the mage? What happened to Nalfit? Did I hear her scream? And why is it all silent now?

Kolag's visor shows up and blocks the view of the ceiling above. “Marisha! Are you alive? This is all my fault! Oh, I'm such a fool… a fool… by the light of Noxi… I have to get you out of here!” he lifts me carefully.

“By Noxi's eyes! You're cracked!” He makes me stand carefully, metallic fingers tracing the pained line on my back. “Marisha… I... I did something horrible…”

I can see the room. The mage is mutilated to gory bits of meat, but so are the women. Their torn hands are all still tied up to the chains. I spot Nalfit's bloodied head on the ground but I can’t even spot her body in the gory mess. Nalfit! I am not sure if I loved her in the way she wanted or not - but I cared about that amazing woman, and the intimacy we shared a few times forms a bubble of pain in my heart.

First master Navaro, now Nalfit. Both at the hands of my friends… both… Apathy, logic, they don’t matter, they’re already dead, feeling bad about it won’t bring them back to life. Yes, numbness, I barely knew them, it was what? A couple of months? They are merely pawns I can no longer use… yes, they are just pawns…

Nalfit's bloodied ginger hair turns deep blue and catches fire, blue flames. Her head burns along with a few of the mangled body parts in the gory mess. The Blue flames consume Nalfit's body parts alone, but they do not touch the rest of the bodies, nor the flammable objects in the area.

Is she alive? Is this some sort of magic that keeps her safe somehow?

No. I can't count on that... I can't hope... people... die... people die... I can’t take this anymore, I’m tired of caring about people... I’m all alone... I’m always alone... Everyone who cares about me always dies somehow… I’m cursed… probably because I don’t actually care about them, not really. I just want to pass out… To stop feeling all this pain… No! if I pass out I will die! I can’t die! I won’t die! I will survive! I want to live! Even alone!

“I… I hope you can forgive me… I hope Noxi c-can forgive me, I'm a monster… Marisha, if I manage to save you at the end… please find a way to kill me one day… promise me!” I can hear Kolag crying under the helmet.

Kolag turns to face me. His armor is covered in blood, so much that there’s more blood than metal. He wraps me carefully in a bloodied blanket he takes from that man's bed, his metallic hand traces the broken stump my right hand is. It sends pulses of unbearable pain throughout my body, but I can't even scream, at least it keeps me awake.

He stops and just looks at me silently for a long time. “Marisha… I love you." He takes a deep breath. "I loved you for a while now. I’ve been waiting f-for the right moment to tell you. But you m-might die, so I wanted a chance to s-say it. I hope you can even hear me like this… I don't expect anything from you. A man in my situation can't demand anything from a woman. Especially an amazing woman like you, but I love you. I'm sorry, I'm going to get you out of here! I'll make sure you stay alive!” He lifts me carefully.

He loves me… The idea shakes me to my very core. There’s nothing to love about me, I am a cold calculating uncaring killer who only cares about myself. He loves me… To the point that he was too nervous to even confess!

I'm not sure if I deserve it… but I’m not alone, yes, two people I care about died horribly at the hands of my friends. But it was not their intention, and I’m not alone! I won't let him down… I'll do my best to care for him… to help him through this… He must hate himself right now… it’s not his fault…

What about Nalfit… I got her killed… he got her killed… No, it was that twisted Rushmia and this perverted mage that got her killed… I should blame and hate them for this, not Kolag… She might be alive... no she's not. I'll grieve later… if I even make it out alive… Just stay awake for now!

As Kolag carries me outside I see the massacre of the village. Bandits, women, and even children are mutilated. Their limbs are torn or bent away in odd angles. The few animals are dead, even the crows are dead. Nothing breathes here anymore, there aren’t even bugs swarming to the corpses, only an eerie silence. “I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…” Kolag keeps muttering over and over under his visor.

It’s not your fault Kolag, I know you can’t control that demon. It’s Rushmia’s fault… she sent us here, she put that demon in you. She probably knew what kind of enemy awaits us here, that’s why she forced this mission on you, to test her demon pet experiment… I’ll kill her one day… for this and so many other things. It’s not my fault either. I shouldn’t blame myself, and I’m not cursed, just unlucky… Nalfit was unlucky… and Navaro… Navaro probably crossed the wrong people… none of it is my fault!

Doesn’t matter… I’m so tired…

No! Stay up! Awake!

I'll help Kolag through this… I’ll make him realize it's not his fault either… I owe him that much… he just saved my life… he’s also the reason I’m not alone yet! As for love… I don’t know how I feel right now… too tired to think about that, I’ll sort it out later.

Kolag goes out of the village, and makes a brief stop by Purson's mutilated body. He makes me stand, while he apologizes to Purson while closing the blue glassy eyes of my friend. Another friend who just died… that makes it three…

Janara… poor Janara…

“I don't have time to plant a tree for you, I have to care for the living. I will pray to Lokamesh for your soul, I promise! I'm sorry my friend, may you find peace in the gray fields…” Kolag finishes his apology to Purson and picks me up. He moves through the forest at a fast pace.

It’s evening when we reach the little hut gate in the forest, and I can barely keep myself awake as Kolag moves me through the gateway back to the tower. He takes me through the blue halls, paying the healers a large number of gems.

After they do their magic I can finally move, after a brief moment of slight movement, I lose my consciousness.

*~*~*

Interlude 23.1

Nalfit

Blue.

The world is blue.

Nalfit wakes up in a sea of blue flames. She finds herself on a bed of ash. She sits and checks herself to make sure it really happened. And indeed, she's back to her 10th spring, a day before her body began maturing.

"Not again..." She murmurs in frustration. This is her 26th death. Each time it happened, her body reverted back to this age. Along with her body, her magic had also reverted to its original state. Nalfit is powerless again. "Tiyadi fuck you Effrat! Why won't you let me die?"

But she won't die. No matter how much she wants to die, it's impossible. Her death will only be granted once her mother dies. And like Nalfit, Effrat has the blood of a phoenix, she won't die easily. Not even drowning can kill her, Nalfit already tried that on herself.

What now?

First, Nalfit has to regain her magic. That's simple. Nalfit walks into a bloodied thatch house, and uses a flint to set the place on fire. She remains inside as the fire burns, and once she's in danger, her magic awakens.

Now. Should she go back to the tower? Or try another path?

Another path. She's not ready to share her secrets with others yet, not even Marisha. Maybe Nalfit should try the Ruby Tower again, she hadn't been there for over 50 years now.

No. Let's make this time around free of the towers' madness. She had enough cruelty for a lifetime or two.

*~*~*

Interlude 23.2

Janara

“…Marisha moved behind Purson and the spell tore him apart…”

Oshi keeps telling her in detail what happened, but Janara can’t hear Oshi's words anymore. Purson is dead, her life is over. All because Kolag had to annoy Janara’s master with his naïve ideals, all because Marisha had to convince the others to help Kolag in the predicament he got himself into. And according to Oshi, Marisha even used the love of Janara’s life as a human shield.

The world becomes dull, and Janara walks off without a purpose. She has no one to talk to, no one to share her life with anymore, Purson is dead… Janara has nothing left to live for.

Janara finds herself in her master’s quarters. No, her mother’s quarters. The red-eyed woman sits on her couch embraced by her handsome slave. “Oh, Janara~ come! Join me for a goblet of wine will you?”

What is Janara even doing here? She can’t think of an answer.

“What's wrong dear?” Her master gets up to her feet. “Is everything alright?”

Someone still cares about Janara, this woman meant what she said. She truly meant to adopt Janara, this wasn’t just a façade. The realization makes Janara burst out in tears. “Purson… he's dead… that job you gave Kolag; Marisha convinced him to join in on that, and he died! He's dead!!!”

“Aw, I'm so sorry dear~ people are fragile. That's why you have to own them. Do you want me to lend Rosso to you? He’s an expert, trust me he'll comfort you.”

Seriously, what is Janara even doing here? Of course that mage won't understand, she's an all-powerful invincible being, she doesn't have to lose anyone anymore… “Do you truly treat me as your daughter?” Janara can’t help but ask.

“Of course I do dear~ am I not here listening to your impediment?”

“I don't want Rosso to comfort me, I want someone who loves me to comfort me! What does it mean to you that you're my mother? How much do you even care about me?”

“Oh, my dear sweet girl~ actions speak louder than words, and I'll show you how much I care about you through my actions ok? Just you wait for that Marisha girl to wake up…”

Janara shakes her head and leaves the hall. She knew Rushmia wouldn't understand, what was she even thinking?! No one loves her anymore, no one ever will! She's all alone in this world now… Mother and father are long dead, and now Purson too... No one will ever truly care… No one will ever understand what she just lost…

“Janara, don't go dear~ stay! Talk to me, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Rushmia gets up and chases her to the door, maybe she does care?

Janara stops. Rushmia reaches and pulls her into a hug, and Janara can’t help but cry into her master's embrace. No, this is her mother…

*~*~*

Power level: 2nd stage apprentice.

Mana pools status:

Crown-knot: Affinity 10:

Neck-Bridge: Affinity 6: formed: max amount of gems drained per day: 66

Abdomen-storage: Affinity 5:

Air: Affinity 4: formed: 18 gems

Fire: Affinity 2: formed: 9 gems

Light: Affinity 3:

Water: Affinity 6:

Earth: Affinity 1:

Wood: Affinity 2:

Gravity: Affinity 9: formed: 41 gems

Cantrip known:

Air: Shavi’s Breeze, Shavi’s Sword.

Fire: Nuriss’ Flame.

Gravity: Lumina’s Kinetic Burst. Tukado’s Repulse. Tukado’s Lesser Shield. Imari’s Minor Telekinesis. Leo’s Pull. Leo’s Grounding. Alino’s Light body. Alino’s Heavy body.

Focus capability: 9 patterns

Social status: An apprentice.

Wealth: 778 gems. 865 Diamonds

Items: 2 healing potions.

Companions:

Kolag of house Befar.

Injuries and scars: ???