Chapter 36 a Deal with the Devil.
The name you grew up with is a part of you.
You may use an alias, but you can’t part from your name.
When someone uses your name,
something within your soul will always respond.
Koshavi, the Princess of Dreams.
After I dress up in new clean clothes, I go to the kitchen. The smell of food almost makes me lose my footing.
I swallow my saliva when I see the food the hag puts on the table. The mouthwatering rice balls, the steaming dough-based dishes stuffed with stir-fried vegetables. The mashed potatoes are mixed with cream, butter, and small pieces of fried onion.
As I sit down, I try to distract my mind from the fact that she cooks human meat with the same efficiency. Or that the same tableware is used for human meat.
Only now do I feel hungry. Only now do I feel like I haven’t eaten for six days. Even if I don’t feel weak, I am starving.
Saying no to this food might be morally right. Running away from this place and eating at the inn is probably the right thing to do. But what I truly want is power. If I run away now, I’ll never get it. And this, this isn’t human meat, it’s ok to eat it.
Before I realize it, I wolf down everything in sight. The ravenous hole in my throat inhales everything. I push away my guilty conscience as I clean the table of everything resembling food. The hag only looks at me with a pair of blazing golden eyes. She holds a victorious smile on her wrinkly face. This devil has my soul in her hands.
*
I lean back, satisfied with the amazing food. Yes, this hag is a cannibal, but her cooking is the best I’ve ever eaten, and this wasn’t human meat for sure. I purposely didn’t touch the sauces, just in case they’re remnants from some meat dish she cooked earlier. It was good even without them.
“Are you sated, young woman?” the hag asks. She takes the other chair, and leans forward with her chin on her palms.
I nod. “Yes, what are your plans for me now?” I know she has plans for me, so why not ask?
“Kikikiki… now you have a three ways choice to make, just like in the shed downstairs.” So she even calls that place a shed…
She lifts a single curled talon-like finger. “The first choice. You go away, and never see me again.” This is no good, it's not really a choice, it's the illusion of a choice. She’ll obviously send someone to hunt me. She wouldn’t let the resources she invested in me go away like that…
She lifts her thumb. “The second choice. You honor our deal, and work for me for the next five years. As a payment for the violation of our agreement, I’ll add half a year to your work.” Let’s listen to the third one before I make a decision. But status quo isn’t a bad option… especially after I violated our agreement and went snooping where I shouldn’t have… But it also sets a dangerous precedence, she can just add time to my work over other excuses… She’s not wrong… I did violate our agreement… she baited me into that! I can excuse it however I like, but at the end I violated our agreement...
With her golden eyes glowing up, she lifts her ring finger, marking three. “The third choice. You accept me as your master and become my apprentice. If that is your choice, I’ll impart you with my knowledge, but we’ll have to make a master-apprentice bond. We shall be bonded for life, yes?”
What?! She didn’t even want to teach me earlier… said I have to earn it… how did I earn it? Snooping around? Wait a minute…“If I choose the third option, do I have to eat human meat?”
“Kikikiki… you can eat whatever you choose to eat, nobody shall force you to eat anything.”
“Yeah, except for putting it into my food without my knowledge…” My heart drums when I realize I can’t even hide the disgust in my voice. She can kill me with a snap of her fingers if she wants, what the hell am I doing?!
She won’t do anything to me, I should stop being so afraid of showing her what I think… Mages invest in their apprentices, and she invested quite a bit in me…
Her wrinkly smile widens up. “Ahh yeeesssss… I lied, chicky! You’ve never eaten human meat… Kikikikikikiki”
So it was all a lie?! A farce?! Phew…
“Kikikikikikokokokukukukakaaaaahh!!” Now her insane cackles turn into an uncontrollable laughter, she ends it up with a scream of joy. I furrow my brows at her. What is she laughing at?!
“Ohhh, chicky. You’re a good one. Of course, I fed you mortal meat! And you loved it, didn’t you?” her voice changes, mimicking my own. “Ma’am, these meatballs are the best thing I’ve ever tasted! Can you teach me how to cook? Kikikikiki…”
My face washes up with blood, I tremble and clench my fists, my nails stabbing into my palms. I cannot keep my emotions bottled up. Anger, humiliation, self-disgust, and extreme pain wells up in my throat in a form of acid. I take a deep breath through my nose, but it doesn't calm me down. I want to kill this hag, yet, I know it’s way beyond my power. I stand up. “Why?! Why would you do something like that?! What’s your point?! What were you trying to achieve by feeding me human meat?! What’s your sick interest in me?!”
“Ahh… you’ve earned my respect young woman, so I did you a favor, yes?” She wipes the saliva from her face, it spilled earlier during her crazy laugh.
“You call that a favor?!”
“Of course! Have you noticed the difference in your progress?” She gives me a crooked smirk. “You’re getting stronger faster, yes? Why do you think this is? Your meager talent? No, your own talent wouldn’t be enough for that remarkable speed. The human souls in your blood are what helps you form your mana pools so swiftly, that is the secret!”
The horrifying realization dawns on me. I’ve managed to form nearly five mana pools in less than four months, despite meditating for an hour a day instead of six to seven each day. Not only that, some of these were pools that should’ve taken a long time to form, ones I had a lower affinity with. I’ve credited my talents, I’ve credited my new sense of mana due to the formation of the crown-knot mana pool. But the fact is… “Was it due to consuming human meat?”
“Yeeees… human, elf once, silio, pale ones, orcs, mortal meat and soul… it’ll hasten your progress by six to ten folds.”
So there is a reason behind this cruelty, but even if there’s a reason it’s unforgivable! I can’t even forgive myself despite not knowing what I was doing, cannibalism is horrible no matter what benefits there are. And eating souls?! What the hell?! “What do you mean souls?” I hate how fragile my voice is.
“This sauce that you love so much…” she lifts a small container with my favorite unknown white sauce, something she hadn’t put on the table today. “It’s made out of ectoplasm, materialized souls. So is many of my seasonings. Consuming the souls is more important than meat, but without the meat… If you’re not bathing in it and using the right formula in the water, it’s pointless and even dangerous to consume the souls.”
So eating souls turns into mana. I wish I had a way to kill this hag… damn it… I can’t believe I ate her food so willingly, and I enjoyed it! Despite knowing all of that I even want more! I am disgusting! A piece of human shit! I’m not even human… I’m just some fae shit…
Doesn’t matter how much I want more… I won’t touch it ever again! Wait bathing in it?! “Did the bath also have souls in it?!” The taste of the ‘mushroom soup’ had a lot of similarities to the ‘soul sauce’.
The hag nods with a crooked smile as the blood leaves my face. A wave of cold sweat washes over me. I feel like taking another bath, a real one this time. Wash these souls away, wash these horrible acts away. And the worst part—I deeply enjoyed that weird bath, I even wanted to have more time in that cauldron. What was I thinking?! That the bath was safe?! That I am not eating anything?! I am such an idiot!
“Ok, I understand you wanted to do well by me, but couldn’t you at least ask what my opinion was about it? Couldn’t you have my permission before trying to ‘help’ me?!”
Ok… I can follow her mindset… but… Why is it so important to understand this monster?! Why do I need to understand her motives? Why? She’s a monster! Plain and simple! She needs to die!
Maybe if I make some sense of it, I won’t hate myself so much… I know it’s not my fault… I know she manipulated me…. but… But what?! She’s a monster! It doesn’t excuse what I did!
No! She’s the monster! She manipulated me into this! None of this is my fault, and I’ll never repeat it nor turn blind eye to it! End of story!
She waves her hand in dismissal, “I already knew what your opinion about it is, chicky. You’re young, this is for your own good, yes?” So she treats me like a child who doesn’t know what’s good for her, making choices for me… she has no right!
“Why do you even care about my own good?” I shoot the hostile question at her without thinking much.
“I am quite an old woman, yes? I have no children of my own…” Yeah I wonder why! Oh, I know! What kind of man would want a woman who feeds them human meat, you bitch! “…my apprentices are my children, and I choose my children carefully. Not many of them survive, but the ones that do... kikiki... You have five siblings who are elite mages, and some of them even have their own children. All trained by me! The great Maven of Mysteries!”
So she wants a weird legacy… I don’t want to be a part of your legacy… Yet I want power… she can give me that… But at what price? Am I willing to consume human souls for the sake of an accelerated progress?
“Your other apprentices…”
“Your siblings.”
“I haven’t chosen to be your apprentice yet,” I say harshly. She nods quietly, but the smile on her face remains the same. “Your other apprentices, did they all keep eating human souls out of their own volition?”
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She shakes her head slowly. “No. One of my children chose not to eat mortals’ souls unless his life was in danger, and I respected his decision. I’ve still taught him what I could. Now that you know the taste and the benefits of soul consumption, I’ll let you choose on your own and respect your choice. As I’ve already said young woman, it is not a requirement. And out of all my children, you’re the one I favor the most…”
Ugh! I don’t know if I should be flattered or disgusted! “Why? I’m an average second stage apprentice, I’m not sure what I have to offer…” And you don’t seem to care about my intelligence like Master Navaro… so much for my intelligence, she has me wrapped around her little finger…
“Your resolve, your ambition, your courage, and your cunning. Not many mortals would be able to calmly meditate for five days in my shed, yes? Not many mortal apprentices like you, can claim to have slaughtered—not one—but two full-fledged mages in battle. One of them is a peak first rank battle mage! Young woman. I have never seen one so young with your capabilities and achievements, and I intend to make you my own.”
Her genuine torrent of compliments sends a heated blush to my face, but her last words catch my attention and I instantly get filled with self-disgust.
Great, so this monster complimented me for being a monster, why am I so full of myself?!
She only wants to use me! I can use her too! I can become her apprentice and I don’t have to feed on souls if I don’t want to. This is the first time she seems genuine, I don’t think she’s lying about that. I’ll accept her offer, despite the disgust I feel when I look at her.
I doubt I can find a better path to power. But I will never take this horrifying shortcut, as tempting as it may be…
“I just got lucky…” I murmur, still unsure whether I am flattered by her words or disgusted by them.
“Luck is also a skill, young woman. Do not sell yourself short, I’ve seen the recordings of each of your battles. While you can attribute your first victory to luck and resolve. The second victory was the cunning wit of a genius!”
The room is a lot hotter, and I know I probably look like a tomato right now. I focus my eyes on the ground and twirl some of my hair around my fingers. I’ve never heard compliments from her before. I know what I did was impressive, but hearing a monster like her say it is something else.
I nod to myself as I make my choice. “Ok, I’ll take the third path. But you’ll have to promise me you won’t ever feed me humans without my knowledge again. Or gnomes, or elves, or well any other sapient beings… mortals as you call them. Not meat nor souls! I don’t care how beneficial that is, I can’t do something like that!”
“I’ll put it as one of the conditions of our master-apprentice contract bond, yes? Whoever breaks any of these conditions, shall suffer a backlash to their power and the bond will break.” She perks a long sharp nail and cuts her wrist with it. To my astonishment, her blood isn’t red, it has an odd translucent silvery color to it. She then uses her other hand to write with her silver blood on the table.
I recognize the runes she writes as Myrsha, the language of gravity magic. Although I can’t speak it fluently yet, I am much better at reading it, given the time I’ve spent with spellbooks concerning gravity magic. Yet, I still don’t understand everything written on the table.
The hag sees that I have a hard time discerning the content, and summons a dictionary for me. With the book’s help, I translate the words on the table.
Ruashi aspia hathiai. Nia lu titri’kol nik se, misak baradol o nishaton nayin manus yimlu sherill ainik.
Her blood flashes in silvery light with this surprising oath. “You have more conditions young woman? Speak! As long as they’re reasonable, I shall add them.”
“Promise not to kill me!”
The hag cackles. “Ever the paranoid yes? Good! Good! Paranoia is good for a magus! Keeps us alive! This one promise I shall make, but you shall make the same promise, yes?” She writes down with her translucent silvery blood on the table.
Ruashi aspia hathiai. Nia lu feraga se nik, shee ziri niko lu myrdom al yuamitsi niai. Se shelfo tiyadem, kanish se nik helshob gemojan ke shelfo.
Soon I manage to translate the words.
She gives me a crooked smile. “What else?”
“Promise that you’ll teach me honestly and won’t manipulate me.”
She shakes her head lightly. “I shall teach you honestly, chicky. However, my teaching methods require a little manipulative touch. Ask something else, yes?”
“Promise me that I won’t have to kill for you again.”
“I shall not,” she says calmly, her golden eyes gleaming. “Your path ahead shall involve many deaths, many murderous acts. Some of these acts shall be for my sake, others shall be for yours. As a magus, you cannot afford to keep your hands free of bloodshed yes? I shall not make this promise.”
I rack my brain thinking of something else. This is the time to request whatever I can! I have to be smart about this though… “Promise me that you’ll let me choose my path from now on! Don’t force me to do anything I don’t want, and don’t make the choices for me, with or without my knowledge!”
The silver blood drips down her wrist, but it seems as if she's unconcerned about it. “I shall not promise it. There’ll be few acts that you shall be forced into, yes?”
“In other words, I’ll become your slave.”
“Slave?!”
This is an angry screech. The rage on her face turns it feral, bird-like. A few white feathers appear at the edges of her cheeks and temples. I gasp in fear, this is the first time I ever saw her truly angry. “If I wanted you to be my slave, you’d still be down in my shed, you little chick!” She takes a deep breath and calms down. Her face reverts back to wrinkly normal. “I do not want a slave, I want you as my daughter. At times, a mother shall have her daughter do things she won’t like, yes?”
That wasn’t being smart about this… I’m just so nervous! I have limited time to ask her these requests and I can’t think of anything! Let’s just ask for what I truly want then… “Promise me that you’ll guide me to power, that you’ll help me become a full-fledged mage and advance further after!”
The wrinkles on her face crease with her large smile. “A good request young woman. I do not take riff-raff as my apprentices, and all of my children—once grown up—are uniquely powerful mages. All of them can easily deal with much more than the average mage. I’ll promise you I’ll guide you on the same road, not only will you become a ranked mage, but you’ll become a strong one. However, I cannot promise results, yes? Whether you succeed or fail on this path is up to you. Here!” She writes down with her translucent blood.
Ruashi aspia hathiai. Nia ti-misur se nik bach-gonraf ke auzaton movvet.
I observe the words and translate them with the dictionary.
“This concludes my end of the deal,” she says without leaving any room for argument.
She said I can ask anything… Even giving me this much leeway is more than I should’ve expected from a mage of her level… she could’ve enslaved me if she wanted… I’m merely lucky she wants some twisted version of a daughter instead of an obedient slave…
“Now it is your turn young woman. Use that dictionary and make your oath of loyalty to me. If I am satisfied with your phrasing, I shall treat you as my child.” She hands me a metallic dagger, without making any visible effort to heal the silvery bleeding on her wrist.
Under her glowing excited golden eyes, I make my oath with a sense of despair in my heart. I know I’m selling my soul to a devil, but I have no better alternative.
Everything I’ve seen in this world so far told me that I have to get powerful. Power is the best means of survival. And to me, it’s the most important thing in the world. Without power, I will not survive. Without power, I won’t be able to go home and see my family again. Without power, I won’t ever find my mother. Without power, I won’t be able to find Kolag and Lezere either. Without power, I’d be helpless, at the mercy of others.
I cut my wrist, and write the runes with my blood. I copy them directly from the dictionary.
Ruashi aspia hathiai. Nia shivera nik se gemoj’an aiagam, fel myshaz’ill nanik tsaf. Shee ziri nia lu rashug niko myrdom al yuamitsi niai.
My red blood glitters, and an odd feeling forms in my chest. A click, a strained heart muscle that popped. This is my first time making a magical oath, so I do my best to choose my words carefully.
I left a loophole in the oath. I stated that I will see her as a mother and obey her, as long as I feel she’s not threatening my life.
The obvious part: As long as she doesn’t threaten my life I will not be able to do anything to her. But there is a hidden part too: I only have to feel threatened. Even if she doesn’t actually threaten my life, I can still betray her based on my feelings alone.
It may sound like it’s an easy oath to bypass, but it’s not. My feelings of being threatened by her have to be genuine. But I’ve also used this to gain something else: If she treats me like rubbish, throws me in her ‘shed’ again - I may feel like my existence is threatened and I'll be able to abuse this loophole. My paranoid nature only helps in this case.
I have no doubt that she sees through this loophole, she’s way too experienced to miss out on this.
She picks my wrist, gently, and traces her talon-like finger on my wound. The wound disappears like it never existed. “Kikikikikikiki… smart! Very well, I accept your oath young woman! From this moment onward I am your formal master. You may call me mother, you are like a child to me, yes? If you’re still uncomfortable with calling me mother you may continue to call me however you like.”
Disgusting. I don’t want to be your child, but I’ll take the power you offer, and hopefully kill you one day. Treating you as my mother doesn’t mean I won’t have my own thoughts and feelings!
She chants. "Ruashi aspia hathiai. Kagut se shelfo."
I watch as she heals herself in the same manner she healed me. “Ma’am? What is your name? You’ve never told me…” She never gave me her name, the few times she called herself by name, she called herself ‘The great Maven of Mysteries’.
“Ahh… young woman, names have power, yes? Mine shall never be uttered aloud. If you want to use my name, then come up with your own name for me, and I shall treat it as my own…”
Give you a name? Sure why not… something cruel? No, regardless of how much I hate her I don’t want to openly offend her. I wonder what name fits her the most… “Fiulaka.” This is her name! It feels right! I decide. For some reason, this weird word clicks, it feels like a perfect fit for this hag.
Something blurs in my vision and my nape hits a hard surface. I find myself up against the wall, in a desperate struggle to breathe, my heart beating like a powerful hammer. A violent wind burst into the kitchen, lifting the table up and knocking everything to the ground.
The old hag uses one hand to pin my neck against the wall, her nails digging into my flesh. The pupils in her golden eyes shrink to a single dot, and her face turns animalistic, sharp. Long white feathers grow on her cheeks, jaw, and temples. “How do you know that name?! Who are you?! What do you want?!” Her usual hoarse voice turns into a terrifying screech. “Tempt me with an oath! Who sent you?!”
I struggle desperately. I hold onto her wrist. Before I can weave my mana into patterns, or utter the words ‘myrsha ritsa’, she smashes my head into the wall again. “Talk!” she demands with a shrill screech.
A yellowish brown scorpion crawls upward on her wrist, it climbs onto my chin. I feel its skittering legs making their way up on my cheek, getting closer to my eye. I clench my eyes shut. But the scorpion uses its pincers to open my eyelids, it forces me to look into its disgusting arachnoid face.
“I don’t know anything!” My voice doesn’t come out. The pressure on my windpipe is way too strong. I can barely move my lips. My head and heart feel like they’ll explode any second. I’m going to die!!! I figured out her real name somehow… her name is Fiulaka… How? It was a guess? How could I guess her name?!
I try to remove the scorpion with my hands, but I can’t move my hands at all. The scorpion’s stinger stabs sharply into my eye and sets it on fire. The voiceless scream gets stuck in my throat, held by the pressure the hag inflicts on my windpipe.
She presses harder on my neck, and my vision blackens. I attempt to kick her in a desperate struggle, but my limbs wouldn’t listen to me. Now I am falling into endless darkness. I can’t die! I won’t die! I will not die! No matter what! I can’t die!
*~*~*
Power level: 2nd stage apprentice.
Mana pools status:
Crown-knot: Affinity 10: formed: 1 gem replenished per five minutes.
Neck-Bridge: Affinity 6: formed: max amount of gems drained per day: 66
Abdomen-storage: Affinity 5: formed: 6 gems. Conversion ratio: 6:1
Air: Affinity 4: formed: 18 gems
Fire: Affinity 2: formed: 9 gems
Light: Affinity 3: formed: 14 gems
Water: Affinity 6: formed: 27 gems
Earth: Affinity 1: opened: 3 gems
Wood: Affinity 2:
Gravity: Affinity 9: formed: 41 gems
Cantrip known:
Air: Shavi’s breeze, Shavi’s sword.
Fire: Nuriss’ flame.
Water:
Gravity: Lumina’s kinetic burst. Tukado’s repulse. Tukado’s lesser shield. Imari’s minor telekinesis. Leo’s pull. Leo’s focal point. Alino’s light body. Alino’s heavy body.
Spells known:
Focus capability: 9 patterns
Social status: ???
Wealth: 300 gems. 1876 gold coins, 2 silvers, 42 coppers.
Items:
Two simple healing potions.
Two potions with unknown effects.
An enchanted belt with eight pouches, the enchantment keep the pouches’ content fresh.
Various spell materials.
Companions:
Injuries and scars: Back, lightning scar. Eye?