Chapter 18 Company.

The wash of time can heal the wounds of your soul,

but it cannot heal the scars.

Please wait for your wounds to heal,

and accept the scars for what they are.

Tiyadi, the Silver Lord of Time.

“Have you all been settling down well? What do they expect of you as squires?” I ask when we sit down around the table.

“We get to train with weapons and battle tactics, some of it is even free,” Purson explains. “We’re also trained to fight beside spell casters, mages are vulnerable to anyone who gets too close to them. They keep drilling us that our job is to make sure that anything that gets too close will die.”

Kolag snorts with an echo. “We are groomed to serve mages, to be their warrior guardians up close. I wonder why the almighty Noxi won’t smite this evil tower from the heaven… Whipping women, the…” his words die in a blur of echoes. His metallic visor is fixated on me, and I can feel his discomfort.

“Don’t be so doom and gloom.” Purson leans back on his chair with his legs above the table. “We have as much food as we want, we no longer have to look over our shoulders, and we receive some good training for free. This is way better! Besides, Janara and Marisha are going to be mages soon. Janara will pick me as her knight, and I’m sure Marisha will pick you and Lezere. Right?” Purson’s blue eyes are giving me a questioning look.

“Of course!” I smile at Kolag and Lezere.

Lezere gives me a toothy grin in return. “You better take us on some good hunts chief!”

“I should hope not, but I probably will. I’m going to look for my family after I’m out of here, and I have a feeling mages are knee deep in Mansl’a's politics. I might encounter some who stand in my way…”

“And I’ll be happy to detach their heads from their shoulders.” Kolag’s echoing voice is grim.

“Me and Purson will buy ourselves a farm with the gems we have,” Janara notes. “I don’t think they’ll be able to keep us here once I’m a full mage… mages seem to do whatever they want.”

“Kakaka... to the future!” Lezere raises her cup. “And to the death of all twisted shamans!” She adds and gulps down her drink.

“I’ll drink to that.” Purson fixes himself a drink and chugs it down as well.

“To the death of that evil red witch! May Noxi smite her down from heaven!” Kolag declares, he raises his mug and drinks it through his straw.

“She’s not that bad…” Janara says quietly.

We all look at her like she’s out of her mind, including Purson.

“What? I’m just saying, there are worse mages in here. Two days ago some weird mage grabbed Marisha and started shaking her, I was half scared to death! Master Rushmia is the evil we know.”

Purson nods in silent understanding, and Kolag eyes me silently, his face hidden behind his helmet.

“Grrrrr… That twisted shaman killed my tribe!” Lezere says through gritted teeth. “She dies!”

“I… I’m sorry.” Janara apologizes, “I didn’t know.”

“Pha! You humans apologize all the time, makes my skin crawl. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! You didn’t kill my tribe, that twisted shaman did. Nothing to apologies, you a good bitch, Janara.”

“Excuse me?” Janara frown at her.

“Kaka, I meant you a good person!”

“Huh…”

I snicker as I watch Janara being unsure whether that was an insult or a compliment. It’s hard to tell with these orcs, but they are clearly not like the stories I’ve read as a child. “What do you say we meet like this every week?” I ask. “Just to keep tabs on each other and stay in contact, we could all use friends.”

“Agreed.” Kolag echoes. “I’d be happy to meet with you all once a week my friends. Should any of you need my help, I’d be more than happy to do whatever I can.” I can see the light reflects from his eyes behind his visor as he looks at me.

“Kaka a weekly meet for good food and a drink!” Lezere chuckles, tracing her dark tongue on her sharp teeth.

Janara and Purson exchange a look, with a slight nod. “We’ll be happy to join.” Purson says with a grin.

*

After catching up, Janara and I are headed back to the apprentices' dorms.

I join Janara in the kitchen for dinner and have the chance to meet the other two members of this five-girls dorm.

The first is a woman who seems to be in her late twenties. She has curly ginger hair, and her freckled face beams brightly when she sees us.

“Oh hey Janara! Is that Marisha? Hi Marisha! It's the first time I get to see you! But Janara wouldn't stop talking about you. I'd think she's in love with you if not for that boy she keeps around. Oh sorry! You're probably wondering what my name is. I'm Nalfit, nice to meechya! Is your hair dyed? Or you're a natural red like me? You’re so cute! Oshi told me you're fae like her, what kind of fae are you? How old are you? You're older than you look right?! You wouldn't survive here otherwise. Would you two like to join me for a meal? I'm taking a bath after! I would love to have you two along. Do you like girls or boys? I mean to have fun sex with, because I'm into both and I'd be totally into it if...”

She covered her mouth blushing. “Whoops was that aloud… sorry! Stupid mouth! Stupid stupid!” She slaps her mouth a couple of times.

I stand there dumbfounded, the torrent of her chatter washes over me like chilling water. How can she maintain this cheery happy attitude in a place like this?! Or is that an act? It has to be!

She raises her green eyes and looks at me with a reddened face. “Ahem! Sorry! Allow me to start over! Um… awkward, you totally know I'm into you and you clearly aren't into me because you don't look at me like that, so… I'll go have a bath alone and let you two eat now…”

Seems genuine actually… I've had some maids like her back in my father's fief, they usually know a lot, and talk a lot, a good source of info, let's use that… I'm amazed she kept this gold and roses attitude... “It's ok, stay,” I say with an amused smile on my face. “I’d be happy to join you for a meal. I think I’ll pass on the bath. After having to use a public one for so long, I think I’d prefer to have my privacy. I do want you to tell me everything you know about this place, all the gossip, everything you heard or want to talk about.”

“Did you just say you want to hear me speak?!” The surprise and joy in her green eyes are clear.

“Pretty much…”

She jumps and hugs me tightly. “No one wants to hear me speak! You're my besty! We'll have so much fun together and…”

“Ouch! No touching!” I shout. I'm still sore from the whipping, and that violent excited hug didn’t help.

“Whoops! Sorry! I just got excited! Nothing sexual I promise! Really really! I just got excited… oof! Awkward again… Does touching really bother you? Sex is fun you know, maybe you just never met the right person to have it with.”

Her mind is really all about sex isn’t it? “My back is full of scars right now,” I say dryly.

“Whoops! I forgot! Sorry!”

“My experience with sex wasn't exactly fun so far, so I'm not into that…” my voice dies. She'd be much better than what the slavers did or even Beydor… it's flattering that she's into me… I wonder how it’s like being with another woman instead of a man… What am I thinking? Who cares what is she into or what it’s like? I need information about the tower! “It doesn't matter, gossip ahead!” I grab some bread from the table, something to eat while listening to the gossip would give me an excuse not to reply.

“So Oshi and you had a fight, right? I heard you blew up her hands and she gassed you! Oshi is totally cool by the way, I don’t know why you fought, some fae thing right? That’s what she said at least because…”

“Are we having dinner together?” Oshi shoves her head into the room. “We can't just eat bread! Who's cooking?”

I narrow my eyes at the dark-skinned woman, but she ignores my presence as if I’m not there. Okay? If that’s how she wants to play it I’m ok with pretending nothing happened… I guess we can’t fight all day if we have to share a kitchen and other facilities…

“What's wrong with bread?! Bread is good, right Marisha? Oshi, I can't believe you tried to gas her! She's just so cute! I want to squeeze her cheeks and pull! Oh! Tiara! Why are you standing there all quiet? Sit! Join us!”

I turn my head. The pale lifeless girl is the last member of our dorm group. She has a crown of black braids as if trying to match her name, but it seems she hasn't touched or taken care of her hair in a very long while. Her blue eyes spot dark circles under them, and her brown robes are tainted by traces of herbs and ink stains.

“Hello…” Her voice is detached and cold. She picks two loaves of bread and leaves toward the hallway.

“Tiara!!!” Nalfit jumps from her seat. She catches Tiara's wrist stopping the shy girl in her tracks. “Sit! Eat with us! Oshi is cooking! And Oshi, no acid or poison in it, or I'll be very angry!”

“Only if you let me make you scream afterward.” The black scaled girl chuckles, busying herself with the utensils. I notice that the gold layered part of the kitchen counter is used to heat the frying pan as a stove would.

There are magical gem-like devices that conjure oil, warm water, cold water, salt, sugar, and a few other things. If they're really creating these substances via magic, and not just summoning them from somewhere else, this could remove hunger from the world… I guess it’s pretty expensive though… like everything here… to think every dorm has devices that are made out of gold and gems… I wonder how it works on the Squires' side, they can't use magic... I'll check next time I'm over there.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

Nalfit's freckled face takes a deep shade of red. “Can you not say it like that?! I don't scream! I moan!”

“You scream, precious.”

“Can I go now?” Tiara's wrist is still being held by Nalfit, clearly annoyed by the two who flirt openly with each other.

Nalfit turns her fiery head to the black-haired girl. “No! You have to join us! We haven't been five in a while! There aren't many chances like that, stop hiding with your books and experiments and have fun for once!”

“You can't force people to have fun Nalfit. If she doesn't want to join us, just let her go.” Janara comments while playing and tearing pieces from the bread.

“Fine!!!” “Fine!!!” Both Nalfit and Tiara say the word at the same time, although Tiara is barely heard over Nalfit’s high soprano voice. This causes a wave of giggles in the kitchen. For a brief moment, I manage to forget how much danger my life is in. How I could possibly die tomorrow, or be put in a cell waiting to be flogged.

So this is why they put us in a shared dorm, morale? Caring for our mental state? Or is there more to it?

Oshi makes everyone fried eggs with slices of meat in them, and we end up eating to the last bit. The banter between Oshi, Nalfit, and surprisingly Janara is lively. Somehow I find myself getting dragged into it. Even if I didn't forget what Oshi tried to do to me yesterday. It's hard not to use my wit and reply when I am teased.

Nalfit and Oshi leave for the baths together, leaving Janara, Tiara and me near the table. With Nalfit's lively spirit gone, an awkward silence settles in.

Janara clears her throat trying to break the silence with a conversation. “They're good people. I don't know what happened between you and Oshi, but she doesn't seem so bad…”

The wounds on my back protest, reminding me of how I got them in the first place. “She tried to control my mind and turn me into her slave.”

“You're not serious!” Janara’s green eyes open like a pair of saucers.

“I am, but if you want to believe that she's a good person then do so. Nalfit seems ok though, unless she has some hidden murderous intention too…”

There is pity in Janara's eyes. “You never let your guard down do you?”

I play with the remnant of the food on my plate. “Not if I can help it, no…”

“Probably smart.” Tiara turns from washing her plate, three blobs of water float above her hand. “Ri rinim,” she says, and the blobs turn into small ice-balls still floating above her open palm. The gloomy girl nods in satisfaction.

“You're saying Nalfit is dangerous?!” Janara turns sharply.

“We all are, we're living weapons.” Tiara replies in a matter-of-fact tone. “I can accidentally kill you with these” she nods her head toward the floating balls of ice.

Janara eyes the ice-balls like they’re scorpions. “Doesn't mean we'll use our magic to hurt just because we can. Magic can help people too!”

“Doesn't mean it can't happen,” I add quietly.

“Agreed.” Tiara's voice is cold as the ice above her palm. “A few months ago Nalfit burned someone's face… uriss shanim.” The ice-balls turn into three focused vapor clouds.

“Why?” Janara asks, horrified.

“The girl broke up with her, it was a messy breakup. The tower's authorities moved that girl to another dorm when they saw the whipping every week wouldn’t stop Nalfit from hurting her. Then Nalfit would lash out at anyone in sight, until Oshi moved in and she turned all gold and roses again.”

Looks like another source for gossip… I thought she was shy… I guess she's just not that interested in socializing then? Or is she afraid of Nalfit?

“So Nalfit's powers are fire, and Oshi's is poison, and yours are water?” Janara asks awkwardly in order to change the subject, she’s clearly uncomfortable learning how murderous our company is. I’m not so different… she’s not wrong, we are all living weapons…

“Oshi’s element is earth, not poison. Onyx dragons are considered earth dragons, and her breath is acidic, acid just happens to be poisonous. What about you two?” Tiara is distracted with her small clouds as she answers. Her monotone voice tells me that the question was mostly polite rather than curiosity. “Riss nim” the vapor clouds turn into three blobs of water again, and the girl nods to herself in satisfaction.

“Janara uses earth too, and I use gravity. I blow heads and limbs up. So, who did you hurt on a bad day?” I ask with a wry smile.

“None of your fucking business.” Her normally frozen alto tone is now frozen stiff. The three blobs of water drop on the gem floor with a splash. “Thanks for the chat. It's been fun. I'll see you girls around.” She leaves the kitchen with a hurried step.

“Don't you have tact at all Marisha?” Janara frowns at me.

“I do, I just stopped caring for it after I got to this place. Actually, even before that. You can't maintain a lot of tact when you're a slave.” And have to beg for food on your knees or do… NO I’m not there anymore…

Janara shifts uncomfortably. “I don't want to think about those days…” She stays quiet for a little while. We hear Nalfit's laughter and joyful squeals over the silence. It sounds like they're having fun, the idea of having fun from such things is foreign to me, it only brought me pain and misery so far. Maybe I should learn from them?

“I became master Rushmia's apprentice.” Janara's words cut off my track of thoughts.

“You did what?!” Is she out of her damned mind?!

“I did… She's treating me well so far, she…”

“After everything she’s been doing to us?! The death room! The…”

“It’s not her doing! These are the tower’s laws for neophytes, she’s just the administrator for this.”

Only now I notice I'm standing. “And you’re defending her now?! She clearly enjoys 'administrating'.” I cross my hands, trying to regain my composure, but I still can't remove the hostility from my voice.

“What do you want Marisha?! I saw an opportunity and I took it! I’m not at risk of constant death while being her apprentice, do you really blame me for that?! I don’t like her, I don't forgive her for what she did. But she’s been treating me well, and even forbade me from going out on adventuring missions. She said that if she's going to put time and effort into me, she's unwilling to see them wasted on a random death in the middle of nowhere. She protects me. You want to tell me you'd turn such an offer down?”

Calm down... this is the perfect connection to Rushmia... and might be the best way to kill her one day... “I see… I can’t blame you for this, you’re right. I might’ve done the same in your shoes…”

Janara lets out a relieved sigh. “Thank you…”

“So you won't be coming with us if we need to make more gems?”

She shakes her head. “I'm sorry. It's not my choice, but I won't lie and say I'm not happy with her demand. No one enjoys risking their life right? Look after Purson for me, make sure he doesn't hit on another woman while you're out adventuring.”

“Uhhm, so you want me to feel guilty if I wanted to hit on him myself. Don't worry, I won't." He disgusts me... sleeping with his own sister... yuck! "Besides, it's Purson, I doubt he even sees other women as women.”

She averts her gaze. “Thanks, I have a lesson in two hours. I have no clue why they're at night. It'd be my first lesson with her, so wish me Koshavi’s blessing!”

“I wish you luck.” I say with a bitter taste in my mouth. I can’t use the goddess of luck’s name for such a thing, I know it counts as a prayer.

It's not like we'll have to go on an adventure again, I'm sure we can find other sources of income, safer ones. That adventuring work was a test anyway...

Janara leaves the kitchen waving her hand at me. Now I am left alone with only the two lovers’ noises coming out of the bathroom. After washing my plate I walk down the corridor leading to my room and notice that they’ve left the door half-open. I find myself peeking as they are touching each other in a suggestive manner ignoring my presence entirely.

I stare with longing in my heart. I want to have fun too when it came to these things. But instead, every time I think about someone touching me in a sexual manner the memories of the soldiers toying with me surface, and I have to deny reality again.

“Oshi stop! Aaah stop it!”

“See hun? You're screaming!”

“I'm not! Seriously stop for a second!” Nalfit shoves the half-dragon away and swims toward the edge of the pool. “Hey, Marisha! I can see you standing there! You’re totally into me, aren’t you? Wanna join us? We could go three-way!”

Shit… Heat washes over my face as I take a step toward my room and stop. It’d only make things more awkward later… “I don't know… I've never really…” I mumble with a red flush filling my face. “Never mind, good night! Have fun!” I get out of there, heart pounding. It’s not something I am comfortable doing, not yet. And I'd prefer it'd be with a man I truly care about, not a woman I barely know…

Like there's a chance for that! People I care about die all the time, it'd easily become a weakness… It's not wrong to want some intimacy, it's natural, I should just try it… I could die tomorrow after all… wouldn't I regret it if I died without trying it?!

“Come on! Does Oshi bother you? You don't trust her right? Would you feel better if it was just me?” Nalfit leaves the bath and comes out to the hallway without bothering to cover herself.

The dark-scaled girl behind her grins, at least she’s wrapped in a towel. “I don't mind leaving you two alone.”

Yeah… let's try to enjoy it… to relax my guard a little… to forget about my past experience with sex… and if this is some form of clever bullying then I'll… no! Enough with the paranoia! Relax my guard a little… enjoy… “Aren't you afraid that Nalfit will burn your face for this?” I raise an eyebrow at Oshi. What am I saying?!

“She can give it her best shot!” Oshi chuckles mockingly.

“Tiara! You meanie!” Nalfit's face turns red. The fact I know about what she did a few months back makes her feel more awkward than the fact she’s naked near a pair of strangers? It's weird... “Don't be scared Marisha! I'm not scary! I won't burn you! I wasn't jealous! Maia just stole from me! She got close to me to steal gems! She didn't care about me! And Oshi doesn't care either, but at least I know she doesn't care! I mean I pay her to care… awkward… stupid mouth!” She slaps her mouth averting her eyes in embarrassment.

Right… of course, Oshi is a psychopath… but if I show I'm interested in Nalfit she can use it against me in the future… Let her! I don't care about Nalfit… I barely know her… I don't even want the sex, I'm not into sex with another woman, or a man, sex just hurt me too much… I just want someone to hug me for once… and to care about me…

I sigh. If I do let her into this caring place I'll start caring about her, which Oshi can use… won't surprise me if Oshi attached herself to Nalfit for that purpose alone… Stop it! That paranoia! Just stop… relax! If I want a hug then I should just say it!

“Ok…” The heat fills my face to the roots of my hair. “Get dressed though, and I’d rather avoid sex…”

“No sex?” Nalfit asks confused.

“I just want someone to hug me…” I admit knowing my face probably looks like a fresh tomato right now.

“Awww! Ok! We’ll do whatever you want!”

Oshi leaves with a huge grin on her face, leaving me alone with Nalfit who smiles warmly.

We end up cuddling together, and I learn quite a bit. About her, life, and the tower. At first, I am more guarded, but once I find out she won't do something I am not comfortable with I actually enjoy the warmth and intimacy.

I had no idea how much I needed this type of human touch till that point…

*~*~*

Power level: 1st stage apprentice.

Mana pools status:

Crown-knot: Affinity 10:

Neck-Bridge: Affinity 6: formed: max amount of gems drained per day: 66

Abdomen-storage: Affinity 5:

Air: Affinity 4:

Fire: Affinity 2: open: 4 gems

Light: Affinity 3:

Water: Affinity 6:

Earth: Affinity 1:

Wood: Affinity 2:

Gravity: Affinity 9: formed: 41 gems

Cantrip known:

Fire: Nuriss’ Flame.

Gravity: Lumina’s Kinetic Burst. Tukado’s Repulse. Tukado’s Lesser Shield. Imari’s Minor Telekinesis. Leo’s Pull. Leo’s Grounding. Alino’s Light body. Alino’s Heavy body.

Focus capability: 8 patterns

Social status: An apprentice.

Wealth: 200 gems.

Items: 2 healing potions.

Companions:

Kolag of house Befar

Lezere of the black fang tribe

Janara of Winemaker village.

Purson of Winemaker village.

Injuries and scars: Missing two thirds of the right middle finger. Injured back.