Chapter 38 Looking for a Friend.
While many prefer mundane stability.
The world is ever changing.
Please adapt to your new reality.
Rather than live in the past.
For nothing remains the same.
Tiyadi, the Silver Lord of Time.
The next week I spend holed up in the hag’s library. I use the precious week to learn as many new cantrips as I can.
There are so many cantrips to choose from, it's hard to decide which new cantrips to learn. I know I only have a week, and I want to use it as much as I can.
In the end, I manage to learn two new cantrips each day and increase my spell arsenal by a whole lot. I mainly focus on the water cantrips I wanted so much, but I also learned a few fire, wind, and light cantrips. I even find a gravity cantrip I didn’t know existed.
Each cantrip has different patterns to it, and memorizing them all can be a headache. I figure I’ll stick to the ones I’ve learned. Once I’m used to them to the point I don’t need to recall the mana patterns each time, I’ll move on to learning other ones.
*
{27} Kilako (October) the 14th
The hag allows me to ask her a single question each day. Instead, I ask her to let me ask her seven questions each week instead.
Now a week later, we both sit and talk over dinner.
“So… can I ask my questions now?”
The hag’s smile creases the numerous wrinkles on her face. “Now there’s a question yes? Kikiki… Ask, and I shall answer.”
“Is there another way to get stronger faster without the use of souls?” I ask right away. I do want a shortcut. I do want a faster way to get stronger. I just don’t want to consume souls for it.
“There isn’t,” the hag answers solemnly.
“Back at the tower, there were mana potions. I remember that aside from recovering mana, they can speed up the meditation process. Can you teach me how to brew these?” I insist, I don’t want to consume souls.
“Kikikikikiki… ahh chicky, you’re wasting your precious questions. The answer is yes, I can teach you how to brew these. And what do you think the main ingredients of the smallest mana potion are? Five drops of ectoplasm with five drops of a mortal’s blood.” Her cackle seems to mock my efforts. Of course, there wasn’t a way to bypass that…
“What about getting that ectoplasm from animals? Is it possible?” There has to be a way. I don’t care about the questions, I can always ask more next week. I wouldn’t mind eating animals’ souls, I eat the meat anyway.
“Yes you can do that, but the quality and quantity are much lower. You’d have to slaughter at least a hundred animals for the same amount of ectoplasm you can extract from an infant mortal’s soul, and you’d need a hundred babies’ souls to reach the level of a juvenile mortal. The efforts aren’t worth the gain yes? Only an adult mortal with sufficient life experience can provide the amount of ectoplasm we need.”
At least mages don’t kill babies for this madness… yay… “There has to be a way!”
The hag sighs. “There is, swallow your proud cultural morals and consume mortals. This is the nature of the world, every creature living in it consumes life in order to live. The strong feeds on the weak, and the weak huddle together for protection, while they themselves feed on the weaker. To a point where the weakest of animals feed on the plant life, and the plant life feeds on the elements themselves. There is no shame in consuming the weak, nor is it immoral, it’s simply done to sustain oneself.”
“But they’re sapient human beings!” Does this hag truly believe in what she preaches?!
“Yes they are, and the lamb you ate at the Kondra snake inn is another living being as well. It is sapient, but not at the level of a human. And with enough mana, it might even surpass human intelligence. Each form of life has its own level. The lowest form of life is the inanimate. The chair you’re sitting on has a life, it even has a soul, but it’s so fleeting it’s not noticeable, yes?”
She pauses for a breath. “The second form is the flora: It feeds on the lower form, the inanimate, it needs water, earth, air, heat, light, and feces to sustain itself yes? Then it’s the fauna, animals: They feed on the flora, and each other to sustain themselves. The mortals feed on the fauna, the flora, each other, and use the inanimate to their comfort. Lastly, there is us. The magus, we feed and use everything that’s below us. There is nothing wrong with that, just the way of life yes?”
There is some logic in what she says, but I will not become a cannibal! Besides… “We were all humans! We still are! We can do magic, but we’re still human!”
“And that’s where you’re wrong, my dear daughter. Not to mention your tainted human blood—we are very far from mortals…” She gets up from her chair. Her golden eyes give out a faint glow, and her pupils narrow. Her face becomes sharper, animalistic. White feathers grow up on the edges of her face, and her white loose hair floats as if she’s submerged underwater. “Do I look mortal to you? Or human?” her normally hoarse voice is now close to a screech.
“I guess not, but you were originally human. Humans were never originally animals! And animals weren’t plants! It’s not comparable! Even animals don’t eat their own kind!”
Her looks revert back to the old hunched woman. “Humans are one of the most ancient races on Lukam. It is arguable whether or not humans have been animals originally, but only the Lokamesh who’s rumored to have created the human race might know the answer for that. Some scholars say humans evolved from animals, from apes. Some even say that animals have evolved from plants and the plants have evolved from the elements themselves.”
She sits down and continues to talk, counting on her talons. “There are animals that feed on their own kind. Spiders, apes, fish, lizards, and there are even mortal groups that feed on their own. Human tribes eat their human enemies. Orc packs eat their family or rivals as a way of honoring them. Silio lounges who consume their own for mere substance. Dwarven city whose residents ate each other in the face of siege and starvation. And there’s even an ancient high elven flock that engages in ritualistic cannibalism.”
She raises her head, leaning forward on the table. Her golden eyes blaze a few centimeters from my face. “But that is beside the point my dear daughter. The strong feed on the weak, to sustain themselves or even for pleasure. That is how the world works. I understand that it’s currently morally difficult for you. The person responsible for your education as a child didn’t see the world in the right eyes. But now I’m responsible for your education, yes? Sooner or later you’ll see the world as it is.”
She sighs, leans back in her chair, and crosses her hands on her chest. “Whether you believe it or not, I used to be like you. I used to sit on the fence between my ambitions and my morals. But I do not regret my choice. Let me tell you this, child. Even with all of your talents, your cunning, your impressive memory, your bloodline, everything that you are—if you refuse to feed on mortals, you shall work much harder and longer to get to where I am. Simply put, it’ll be impossible. That’s the price for cultural morals. You shall have to make a choice about it, and we both know you love the taste of power yes?”
I heave a heavy sigh. I know she’s right, I have to make this choice. My morals or my ambitions. If I want power, I’ll have to embrace it. Disgusting… I am disgusted with myself that I am even considering it… no way! I can take the longer route! Meditate for years, I planned to do it that way anyway. The only thing I gain from that ectoplasm is time, and I have the time! I am young. My lifespan is longer than the average human, and once I reach the rank of a full mage, I’ll have an even longer life span too.
“If I sink into that middle meditation for three days straight, what’s the ectoplasm equivalent?” I ask aloud.
A victorious smile forms on her face, she knows I am seriously considering it. “If you only take a mana potion, nine hours will be worth three days without a potion. And if you can meditate for three days after consuming the same mana potion, that will be the equivalent of seven days of raw meditation without the potion…”
Seven days of raw meditation… I can…
“…And if you take an ectoplasm bath in my cauldron for twenty-four hours that’ll be like a month of raw meditation without the influence of ectoplasm.”
Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
If I take this route I’ll be able to form the rest of my mana pools within a day. What comes after? Connecting them? I wonder what that's like… This route is too tempting… the long route means hours upon hours of work with mana for years at a very slow pace and with little to no results. While the shortcut means a month that saves me two or three years of hard work, possibly more. All I have to do is give up my humanity, and tell myself I am superior to humans.
I always wanted to be superior to other people… and I still want immortality and power right? Why is it so hard to cross this line? Just a week of these baths and I’ll form and connect all of my mana pools! Why do I have to take the long way? Damn it! Just damn it! Damn it all!
“I need to think about this…” I murmur under my breath. I feel terrible for even considering it. But having everything I want within my grasp makes it extremely tempting, it’s hard not to consider it. I already did it, I have no ‘purity’ or ‘innocence’ to keep. So this is why she fed me those things unknowingly… it was meant for these exact thoughts!
“Take as much time as you like young woman, I am not rushing you with this decision…” No, you’re not. You simply made the decision for me by feeding me those souls, bitch! “…if you have more questions you’ll have to save them for next week yes?”
I nod.
“Now child, this is your next assassination mission.” She places a drawing on the table. “Brutos the Butcher! Kill him, and bring his soul to me! Kikikikikiki…”
*
{27} Kilako (October) the 15th
This time it’s the Wolf district. I decide not to take Loyal with me, I don’t want to risk him and the Wolf district is rather close to the Gold district where the hag’s shop is located. It only takes an hour on foot.
Like Greenfield, this place has many gangs. Hungry children who either fight each other or hide, gambling taverns, and brothels. It’s autumn. The rain is blocked by the gigantic tree that shelters the city under its giant branches. Yet, water constantly drops down from the massive leaves, even when it’s not actively raining.
The ground is muddy, giving out an earthy smell of rain mixed with the smell of fresh feces. I pity the prostitutes for their revealing clothes, it's rather cold out here. The group of girls takes shelter from the rain at the entrance of a building, huddled around a small, makeshift fire. The local thugs on the other hand don’t seem to care about the rain or the cold.
I still hope to find a friend, and a weird idea pops up in my head.
Maybe I should find someone here who needs help, and I'll turn them into my pawn by charity… Might earn me a friend because I know plenty of people need help over here… And I can choose to help the person I want… Give them food, buy them clothes, or even buy them a place to stay… I can afford it with a couple of gold coins…
I don’t like to buy a friend though… I want it to be real… it has to feel real… I want someone to care about me…
I walk in the mud and give a side glance to the prostitutes who huddle together on one side, and the skinny teenagers in a nearby alley who fight each other with utter violence on the other.
Do I want any of them as a friend? I can pick one of the prostitutes… Approach her and help her off the streets… There… That girl looks fine… I eye a shivering brunette girl who huddles in a corner on her own, away from the fire. The others seemingly avoid her, reflecting my own loneliness in an odd sense.
What am I even doing here? I should find my target and kill him… Am I that lonely? I guess I am…
“Hi…” I approach the brunette.
“Haiii! I love the way ya look girl! I gona eat your jar and wet it up for ya!” She perks up, hand moving directly to my hips.
“No.” I catch her wrist. “I’m not here for that. I’m…”
She shrugs and turns. “Then leave me be, stranger.”
Right… I guess she’ll come with me if I pay for her time… But this isn’t what I’m looking for… And she’ll just keep using me for money if I do that… I turn and leave.
I wander around the cold muddy alleyways, hoping I’d stumble onto a friend or possibly my target. I feel aimless. I have a full week to eliminate this person, I have time.
“Looky here! You be lost?” The mockery wakes me up from my daze. I find myself surrounded by a small gang of teenagers. They’re all male and their ages range from fifteen to nineteen.
“I think I might be…” I admit. I do feel lost and I project this feeling into my words. I have the safest path to power now, yet what did I give up for that? A part of my humanity. I need to make a friend, someone to make me feel human, and someone I won’t feel like they’re reporting every word I say to the hag. Not at first at least, she'll probably buy their loyalty later.
A lean teenager sends a hand to my breast, I am about to push him with my magic when a guy who looks like he’s in his early twenties intervenes and pulls the pervert’s hand away. “Oy what are you doing?!”
“Just having some fun with her jugs boss!” The pervert eyes me with apparent lust.
The man who leads them doesn't have any of that. “Go to Koshavi’s snaking temple for that you snaking peabrain!”
To my surprise, the pervert seems ashamed and takes a step back.
“Did you run away from home miss?” The man asks me politely as if he hadn’t cursed just a moment ago.
“You could say that,” I reply quietly.
“It’s best if you go back to wherever you came from then. Nothing good expecting a girl like you in these parts…” comments another teenager.
“I can’t go back yet, I need to… lay low for a few days.” I make up an excuse on the spot, the idea of acting like a runaway rich girl appeals to me. Maybe I can earn a pawn-friend that way, maybe needing someone’s help is the way to go and not the other way around.
“Hey, I’m Zah. They call me Cobalt Knuckles around these parts.” The man introduces himself with a cocky smirk. “Can you tell me your name?” There’s something endearing behind all the unshaved gruff look.
My name almost leaves my lips right away, when the memory of the hag overreacting about her name surface. “I’m… Ritsa.” I call myself. This is a word from the gravity language, and the meaning is the opposite of Myrsha, the origin of my name. Ritsa means push, or pushy, but it could also mean unbalanced which is how I feel at the moment. I grimace when I remember it could also mean repulsive or unattractive.
He smiles. “Nice to meet you Ritsa. Look I can find a place for you to lay low but it’ll cost you, do you have money on you?”
“Yes, how much do you want?”
“She’s all yours boys!” He gestures to the group who still surrounds me, “She's loaded, rob her clean! Delko, if you want to go first with her you’re giving up your share! Slit her throat once you're done, finish by nightfall you hear?”
Right… I was too naïve… I lift my hand and aim at the nearest boy in order to cast my cantrip, and the world turns white with a blinding flash of light.
*~*~*
Interlude 38.1
Janara
{27} Lokamesh (May) the 24th (5 months earlier)
Janara wakes up in a small white room with a startle. An old woman sits on the only comfortable sofa in the room, and Janara has no choice but to sit on her white clean bed.
Is she finally dead?
"I'm dead right? You must be a Singer of Koshavi... can you take me to see Purson?"
"A Singer of Koshavi?" the old woman croaks, "me?!" Only now does Janara notice how ugly the elderly woman is, it's impossible, the Singers of Koshavi are said to be more beautiful than any elf. "Kikikikikikiki..." the old woman cackles like an old witch from the bard's tales. "You are not dead," the woman finally says, "I stopped time when the blade entered your heart."
What? How?
It doesn't matter... "Can you please just let me die? I want to see Purson... I want to tell him I'm sorry..."
The old woman leans forward, large golden eyes gleaming brighter than the white walls. "You won't see your dear Purson for a very long time, my little cockroach. You are going to take vengeance on the ones who got him killed, yes?"
"I already did." Janara shrugs. "Kolag has probably been executed by now. And it's just a matter of time before they catch Marisha..."
The old woman snorts. "Marisha had been pursued by a fully ascended mage. She killed him, managed to get away. The tower cannot reach her anymore."
What? How? That's not right! That's not right!
"And Kolag," the old woman continues. "He received the protection of an archmage, it'll be tricky to kill him, yes?"
Janara nods. Maybe she should stay here in this sad little world after all, to ensure Justice had been carried out for her Purson. "What's your interest in all of this?" She asks, there's no way the old woman is here out of her own good will.
"The mage who pursued Marisha, the one she killed, he was my grandson. I want vengeance, but I cannot carry it out myself. If an old archmage like me stoops down to deal with a lowly apprentice it'd look bad, yes? I need an agent. I'll place you on Marisha's and Kolag path, somewhere the Sapphire Tower cannot interfere. You will carry out your mission, you'll deal with the two of them. My dear little cockroach, if you manage to carry out your task, I'll take you as my personal apprentice."
Maybe there's hope for her to survive this mad tower after all...
*~*~*
Power level: 2nd stage apprentice.
Mana pools status:
Crown-knot: Affinity 10: formed: 1 gem replenished per five minutes.
Neck-Bridge: Affinity 6: formed: max amount of gems drained per day: 66
Abdomen-storage: Affinity 5: formed: 6 gems. Conversion ratio: 6:1
Air: Affinity 4: formed: 18 gems
Fire: Affinity 2: formed: 9 gems
Light: Affinity 3: formed: 14 gems
Water: Affinity 6: formed: 27 gems
Earth: Affinity 1: opened: 3 gems
Wood: Affinity 2:
Gravity: Affinity 9: formed: 41 gems
Cantrip known:
Air: Shavi’s Breeze, Shavi’s Sword. Shavi’s Hair Dryer, Aria’s Enhanced Hearing.
Fire: Nuriss’ Flame. Effrat’s Firefly, Effrat’s Fire Breath.
Light: Noxi’s Light, Lako’s blinding light.
Water: Water Evocation, Water to Ice, Ice to Water, Water to Vapor, Vapor to Water, Mayan’s Icy Spike, Ayla’s Water Jet.
Earth:
Wood:
Gravity: Lumina’s Kinetic Burst. Tukado’s Repulse. Tukado’s lesser shield. Imari’s Minor Telekinesis. Imari’s Jump. Leo’s Pull. Leo’s Grounding. Alino’s Light Body. Alino’s Heavy Body.
Focus capability: 9 patterns
Social status: apprentice to the maven of mysteries.
Wealth: 300 gems. 1876 gold coins, 2 silvers, 7 coppers.
Items:
Two simple healing potions.
Two potions with unknown effects.
An enchanted belt with eight pouches, the enchantment keep the pouches’ content fresh.
Various spell materials.
Companions: Alone
Injuries and scars: Back, lightning scar.