Ah, the Cataclysm pre-event—when Azeroth collectively lost its mind and decided that chaos was the new normal. It all kicked off with Martial Law being declared, which, let’s be honest, felt a lot like the world’s most disorganized flash mob. One minute, you’re questing peacefully, and the next, you’re knee-deep in a crisis that feels like a poorly planned party where the cake is actually a dragon.
So, Blizzard decided to tease us with some dramatic flair. We all logged in, and what did we find? Elemental invasions! That’s right—fire, water, earth, and air decided they were tired of sitting on the sidelines and wanted to join the party. Picture this: elementals running rampant in our beloved zones, acting like rowdy toddlers on a sugar high. Fire elementals were setting everything ablaze, while water elementals were flooding streets like it was a water park day gone horribly wrong.
In the midst of this chaos, the authorities of Stormwind decided that now was a great time to implement Martial Law. Yes, because when the world is ending, the best course of action is to throw a bunch of guards at the situation. Enter the Thirteenth—our elite squadron consisting of Vent, Laoise, and Karathos—hunkered down behind sandbags like they were preparing for an epic beach party instead of a disaster.
“Stay alert!” Vent shouted, peeking over the sandbags. “If we don’t keep these elementals out, they’ll turn this place into a lava pit!”
“Or a swimming pool!” Laoise added, adjusting her helmet, which was decidedly not designed for combat. “How are we supposed to fight fire with… water?!”
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“Easy,” Karathos said, looking very much the paladin as he polished his sword. “We just need to make sure we look heroic while doing it. Keep the crowd entertained!”
As if on cue, elementals exploded nearby, sending players flying in every direction. “Did anyone order takeout?” Vent quipped, trying to lighten the mood as a fire elemental flared ominously nearby.
The streets of Stormwind turned into a scene straight out of a slapstick comedy. Players were trying to help, but it often resulted in more chaos than order. You’d have someone swinging their sword at an elemental while yelling, “I’ve got this!” only to inadvertently knock a guard into a pile of burning rubble. “Sorry, buddy! My bad!” was the prevailing theme of the day.
And then there were the quest givers, bless their souls. They stood there, utterly unfazed by the chaos around them. “Collect 10 fireproof stones!” they would chirp cheerfully as the world crumbled around them. “Sure, why not?” players would respond, as they bravely ventured into the inferno, only to come back with singed eyebrows and a newfound appreciation for life.
Oh, and let’s not forget the NPCs! Some decided this was a great time to bust out their best dance moves, as if to say, “Why not make the end of the world a little more fabulous?” Imagine a few guards trying to keep order while a gnome is breakdancing in front of a raging fire elemental. “You see? This is how you distract them!” the gnome would exclaim, completely ignoring the chaos around them.
Meanwhile, behind their sandbags, the Thirteenth was doing their best to keep order amid the insanity. “If we survive this, we need to host a barbecue,” Vent joked, trying to envision a future without elementals wreaking havoc.
As we all prepared for the inevitable cataclysm, we couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. Martial Law or not, Azeroth was about to get a major facelift, and we were right in the middle of it, riding the wave of hilarity that accompanied such madness. So, here’s to the pre-event—where elemental invasions and poorly executed martial law brought out the worst (and the best) in all of us. Buckle up, folks; the real chaos was just around the corner!